Line, What Bloody Line?
by OleChrissie
Summary: Sequel Callian have begun the journey to a full relationship but the course of true love never runs smooth does it? Their love affair is laden with children, ex spouses and the fact that they have a problem being honest with each other. Irony anyone?
1. Chapter 1

This is a sequel so you probably need to read the original 'Whose Line is it Anyway?'' to understand although if I tell you that Johnny is Cal's 12 year old son you could get by. If you want to know how that happened then go read the other one.

I like writing these characters hence why there is a new story.

Enjoy and review, there are clues to future plot lines here some subtle, some not. If you have anything that you might like to see then let me know.

On with the story, time to get reaquainted.

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Gillian sipped the ginger tea slowly, her stomach churning as she prayed for the ground to stop moving.

''You look sick, are you?'' Johnny crashed into the kitchen and Gillian cringed, he was like a rock band on feet, noise followed him around.

''No honey, not really. I think I may be getting the stomach flu,'' Gillian played it down and Johnny sat down beside her, emptying half a pack of Lucky Charms into a large bowl and topping it with a lot of milk, an awful lot of milk.

''What does that mean? Americans say that and I don't know what it means. Is it like the flu flu or is it just a tummy bug?'' Johnny asked earnestly as he crammed his mouth full of sugary cereal.

Gillian smiled and swept the hair from his eyes.

''I think a tummy bug is what you say,'' Gillian confirmed and Johnny nodded.

''That's crappy,'' he replied sympathetically and Gillian nodded, although in truth it was as far from crappy as it was possible to get from her point of view. How Cal might view it was another matter altogether.

''So young man are you going to behave yourself today or are you going to keep driving your poor dad crazy?'' Gillian referenced the fact that Johnny kept getting into trouble at school. It was low key but was proving a difficult habit to break.

''The teachers are so uptight, they don't get my dry wit,'' Johnny grinned, milk dribbling down his chin which he wiped absentmindedly away with his sleeve.

''Is that right? How about I offer you a deal?'' Gillian was relieved when her stomach began to settle.

''What sort of deal?'' Johnny's eyes lit up with interest.

''One week, give us one week of peace and I'll buy you any X Box game you want, your choice,'' Gillian knew it was low but did it anyway. Cal needed to focus on work and he couldn't do that when every day was interrupted by yet another call from Johnny's school.

''With any certification?'' Johnny went for the best deal he could get.

''Uuuum, yes within reason,'' Gillian agreed against her better judgement.

''Dad would be well pissed off if he knew you did that,'' Johnny was wily and it was his way of asking if this was their little secret.

''Well, I guess we shouldn't tell him then should we?'' Gillian ignored her conscience which was pricked to say the least.

''Okay, that's a deal then,'' Johnny stood up shoving the bowl away, he wasn't hanging around just in case she changed her mind.

''Okay sweetie, it is,'' Gillian frowned at Johnny's extended knuckles, he tutted and then tapped hers with his.

''You do this, don't you ever watch anything on TV other than the Discovery Channel?'' Johnny teased her as he grabbed his backpack.

''Bye Johnny, have a good day,'' Gillian nipped his cheekiness in the bud, she was learning fast which was some small comfort considering her current predicament.

''Yeah bye Gill,'' Johnny ran straight into his father who stepped back, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

''Laters dad, I'm late,'' Johnny mumbled without losing speed.

''Yeah bye kiddo, behave yourself,'' Cal called after him as an afterthought.

Cal grinned at her as he checked the kettle was boiled before placing a kiss on her cheek.

''You okay luv, you look peaky?'' Cal said with concern as he made his tea.

''Peaky?'' Gillian asked with puzzlement, she understood most of what he said but occasionally she was baffled.

''You're pale, didn't you sleep?'' Cal asked carelessly as he searched for milk in the fridge.

Gillian stiffened, unsure how to respond, keen that she pitched this just right.

''I think I might be getting stomach flu,'' she said off handedly and Cal shrugged as he tipped the milk into his tea and sipped it with a contented sigh.

''Stay home, get some rest. We're in charge remember?'' Cal watched her closely over the edge of his cup. He hadn't seen her face when she'd replied but there was undertone to her voice that aroused his suspicions.

''No, we have a case. It's an interesting one,'' Gillian dismissed his concern, she wasn't ready for this conversation.

''Okay luv, if you're sure you're ok,'' Cal shrugged, prepared to trust her for now although the random thought that was currently circulating in his head wasn't ignorable indefinitely.

''So what's the case then?'' Cal picked up the file and perused it.

''Oh God, not another insurance case,'' Cal groaned.

''It's more than that, its canoe man. You must have seen it in the papers,'' Gillian was happy to shift onto the familiar.

''Bloke who faked his own death right? Reggie Perrin syndrome,'' Cal failed to be engaged, appeared boring to him.

''Yes but the FBI believes he was involved with a drug cartel. They want you to question him,'' Gillian tried to spark some interest in her partner.

''Marginally more interesting I s'pose but not mind blowingly exciting is it?'' Cal was nonchalant and threw the file down.

''You're meeting Zoe for lunch?'' Gillian had seen the note on the calendar and asked as casually as she could but the green eyed monster stirred deep within. Cal took his time to answer, this was a tricky subject, the status between himself and his ex- wife was still open to interpretation.

''Its okay Cal, I get it. You share a child and we did agree to take this slowly,'' Gillian stood, dipping her face as she checked the contents of her purse.

''Luv, its just lunch. We're talking about colleges for Em,'' Cal tried not to show that he could see her insecurity.

''I know,'' Gillian mumbled and Cal rolled his eyes, his family were all about mumbling this morning.

''What about this new boyfriend? Are you going to talk about him?'' Gillian changed the subject and Cal smiled at her transparency but went along with it for the sake of her pride. He had no idea how he would react if she told him she was having lunch with her ex husband although he knew he wouldn't be exactly thrilled.

''Yes, not that it will do much good. We both agree he's a scumbag, its Em that thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread which is the main problem,'' Cal was struggling with the first occasion in his life when he felt he had no influence on his daughter's life.

''So what are you going to do?'' Gillian pulled the door shut behind her and Cal locked it.

''Dunno, it's a tricky one innit luv? The more we say no the more she runs to him,'' Cal swaggered to the car and Gillian stopped, surprised by his words. Cal turned around and looked at her before chuckling.

''Yeah I know, if it was up to me, we would say no and that would be it, sorted. Ground her and throw away the key but Zoe doesn't agree with me,'' Cal was capable of irony when he put his mind to it.

''I wonder why,'' Gillian climbed into the car, shaking her head in disapproval.

''Yeah, yeah, I know. We have to talk to her but he's twenty one. Do you think that's appropriate?'' Cal called her on her easy disapproval of his approach.

Gillian hunched a shoulder as Cal got in next to her.

''No but the more you forbid her, the worse it'll get. You know that Cal,'' Gillian was philosophical but it was easy for her as Emily wasn't her daughter.

''I just said that didn't I?'' Cal replied irritably and Gillian knew she had to tread carefully, he was very touchy about his children despite their developing relationship.

''Yes, you did,'' Gillian mumbled again which just increased his irritation.

''And the motorbike, what do you think about that? Whilst we're being all touch feely about Emily's sensitivities, I'm not keen on my daughter racing around DC on the back of some hoodlum's bike,'' Cal was being confrontational and Gillian searched for an adequate answer. The motorbike added a whole different dimension to this problem and as a result she was inclined to agree with him although her natural reluctance to be authoritarian with children held her back from saying so.

''I know you agree with me, I can see you do,'' Cal said smugly and Gillian sighed in frustration.

''What about Johnny?'' Gillian asked even though she knew it wasn't wise because this was another area of contention.

''What about him?'' Cal didn't engage, he was being obstinate and Gillian wished she'd kept quiet but continued nonetheless.

''Well, you didn't really mean what you said to him last night did you?'' Gillian's face was a picture of disapproval.

''Yes I did, he's going to behave himself. That's a bloody good school and he is going to get himself expelled if he carries on,'' Cal face was set with determination and Gillian was dismayed at recalcitrance.

They had such different approaches to child rearing, she wasn't sure they could ever co parent, their positions were so polarised. Gillian felt he was too controlling and although she knew there were good reasons for his mindset she still vehemently disagreed with him.

''Look luv, I've run out of ideas with him. He's a little sod and doesn't do a thing he's told unless he decides he wants to. He's twelve years old and it does him no good to be that way. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the rebel but the world only tolerates a certain amount of that before it kicks back. I would prefer it was me kicking back rather than the authorities. I'm protecting him,'' Cal tried to explain himself and Gillian recognised his point of view had some validity.

''Cal, it's not your reasoning I disagree with, it's your methods. At Johnny's age, you should reason and discuss, issuing ultimatums is a challenge,'' Gillian kept the fact that she had taken some pre-emptive action with Cal's wayward son quiet, she justified her silence by telling herself that she was rewarding good behaviour not using bribery.

''Gill luv, I have done that until I am blue in the face. He knows what will happen if I get one more phone call this week so why don't we wait and see?'' Cal made it clear he was done discussing his children.

''Okay,'' Gillian couldn't shake the feeling that if Cal found out what she had done to buy Johnny's cooperation he would be furious so was happy to drop the topic.

''So canoe man? What is his connection with drugs?'' Cal asked incredulously, it was a stretch to say the least.

''It was his son who made a statement to that effect. We need to ascertain whether it was from vindictiveness or if there is some truth in the accusations,'' Gillian felt much happier talking about work.

''Yeah well, saves me from more tedious IRS work or yet another political sex scandal,'' Cal said as he pulled onto the interstate.

''You love those,'' Gillian laughed.

''Yeah, I do a bit,'' Cal chuckled in agreement.

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''It's beautiful,'' Johnny circled the gleaming motorcycle, his face lit with wonder.

''Yeah I know,'' Emily smiled up at Bailey, the owner of the object that was bewitching her little brother.

''Can I have a go?'' Johnny asked the older boy, well man really.

''Don't you think it's a little big for you kid?'' Bailey laughed, he had his arm slung casually around Emily's shoulders. He hadn't planned to fall for a seventeen year old senior but Emily fascinated him in a way no other girl ever had. She was smart and pretty and Bailey was smitten.

''I meant could you take me? Please Bailey?'' Johnny gazed at his sister's boyfriend with eyes drenched in hero worship.

''Go on, no one will see and he can wear your helmet,'' Emily was keen that Johnny would like Bailey, she needed at least one ally even if it was only her baby sibling.

''Shouldn't you be at school?'' Bailey was a good guy who had suffered some bad luck in his life, he was smart and had been all set for college until his mother was diagnosed with MS and his father had deserted them in their hour of need. He cared for her now whilst he worked shifts at a local restaurant. Emily knew none of this as Bailey hadn't wanted to lay his sob story on her, instead she thought he had not fancied college, the truth was that missing out was the biggest regret of his life.

''Not yet, please just one go and I promise I'll go straight to school after,'' Johnny begged.

''Listen to you, Mr Responsible,'' Emily teased although she was starting to realise that Bailey wasn't the bad boy he appeared, he was in fact a straight up decent guy.

''Okay, one ride and then you go to school. Deal?'' Bailey held his knuckles out and Johnny tapped them hurriedly as he pulled on the helmet, his excitement intoxicating.

Bailey grinned at Emily who was dazzled by his beauty, he was very good looking and Emily couldn't believe her luck. She gave him a dopey smile back and spontaneously he kissed her gently on the lips. The air caught in Emily's throat as his tenderness turned her stomach to warm, tingling liquid.

''What was that for?'' She asked breathlessly and Bailey shrugged.

''Felt like it, you have real pretty lips,'' he said and Emily felt her legs wobble slightly.

Johnny watched them and he could see his sister was besotted which he knew his dad would hate but as far as Johnny was concerned Cal would have to get over it.

''Ready?'' Bailey asked and Johnny nodded enthusiastically.

As they took a slow circuit of the quiet park they were in, Emily wondered how she was ever going to tell her parents she wasn't going to college after all, there was just no way she was leaving Bailey, not ever.


	2. Chapter 2 What the Hell?

So this is eventful and dramatic. Didn't plan it that way but its these characters, they are made for turmoil and grief. Its the show, its so eventful that I just can't help myself. Absolutely loved the new one, had me on the edge of my seat although why are all British woman portrayed as cold, distant types? So not me, loud and obnoxious is more apt. Not sure thats a good thing but just saying we're not all cold fish.

Some of you may be upset about this chapter, sorry. Not really but trying to be polite is all.

To any Americans reading, I am very sorry about BP and what they have done. They have behaved dreadfully and I can't apologise enough as a Brit. Bunch of irresponsible greedy gits if you ask me.

Let me know what you think, love a review so I do.

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''So your dad is a drug dealer, is that what you're saying?'' Cal stretched in his chair and looked the young man in the eye. He shifted uncomfortably and then nodded. Cal frowned, to the untrained eye this man was telling an outright lie, he was but Cal saw something else.

''He wasn't a drug dealer but there is something. What?'' Cal asked and the man blushed a deep red.

''You're involved but you're ashamed. What of?'' Cal was disturbed by what he was seeing.

''His computer, you should check his computer and that is all I'm saying,'' Martin Owens was not cooperating any further. He had acted through bitterness and fear, but had not expected to implicate himself. The people he was acting for would not look on this kindly so he decided it was best to shut up.

''Right, his computer. Trouble is mate, we've done that and come up with diddly squat,'' Cal watched carefully and Martin sat forward, looking up at him intently.

''You're looking in the wrong place and this has nothing to do with me, nothing at all. I am helping you because this disgusts me, he's a monster. When you find it, ask my mother, it will be enlightening,'' Martin was telling half truths which was a slight improvement.

''Right, we'll keep looking then. Don't leave town,'' Cal stood up and left the room without a backward glance.

''So?'' Ben asked urgently.

''Need to find another computer mate. Something on it that makes that kid hate himself and his father even more,'' Cal was already walking away.

''Will you speak to the mother?'' Ben followed him and Cal nodded.

''Yeah but not now. I have a lunch date,'' Cal checked he had his cell and wallet.

''Right but you will be back later right?'' Ben was urgent in direct contrast to Cal who remained nonchalant.

''Yeah, I'll call you. See yer,'' Cal waved above his head as he left leaving Ben looking helplessly after him.

''Was that Cal?'' Foster stopped beside Ben who glanced at her.

''Whoa, you okay Gillian? You look kinda pale,'' Ben was shocked by her drawn face and put his hand under her elbow to steady her.

''Just a little dizzy,'' Gillian felt the ground beneath her feet draw closer and blackness beckoned as she fell into a dead faint in Reynolds arms.

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''Alright luv? You look amazing,'' Cal greeted his ex wife with ill concealed admiration, she was an undeniably hot woman and despite their tumultuous past, Cal still found her extremely attractive.

Zoe smiled smugly accepting his compliment with pleasure, she had spent hours getting ready for this and was well aware she was turning heads. In truth, there was only one head she wanted to turn and she had already achieved considerable success.

''Thank you Cal, I ordered you a beer,'' Zoe enjoyed her ability to know what Cal wanted and when he wanted it. She knew his needs and was more than happy to fulfil them. Zoe wasn't happy to be usurped and although she didn't want him fulltime, she was going to fight to retain her influence over him. Most definitely a case of 'I don't want him but no one else is having him.'

''Thanks, need a beer so I do,'' Cal played along, happy to fall into his comfort zone. Gillian was behaving erratically and it was starting to wear him down, he knew she was keeping something from him and it was irritating. It felt like he was walking an all too familiar road.

''So how are you?'' Zoe asked as she sipped her cocktail, watching him over the edge of the salt covered rim.

''Alright I s'pose,'' Cal shrugged, he was tempted to speak to her about his suspicions but he knew that would be a total betrayal of his fledgling relationship.

''Oh, things not so great on the home front then?'' Zoe probed further, she had no conscience about exploiting any problems her ex husband and his new partner might be having. An ends to a means and all that.

''It would make you happy if I said yes wouldn't it?'' Cal reminded her that he was an expert and she blushed.

''Sorry,'' Zoe chose not to explain, leaving her intentions hanging between them.

''Yeah well, I'm irresistible aren't I?'' Cal made a joke although he was unsettled to find that he was pleased she was jealous.

''Yes, you are,'' Zoe agreed staring across the table at him. Cal caught her eye, there was a moment of still before he reached across the table to grasp her hand.

Suddenly, words became superfluous.

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''Gillian, wake up. Come on, open your eyes,'' Ben's voice called her back from the abyss and her eyes fluttered open.

She groaned and tried to sit up.

''No, stay there. You fainted, I called an ambulance,'' Ben pushed her gently back onto the couch.

''Doctor Foster, you should stay put,'' Torres voice joined Bens and Foster could just about make her out over his shoulder.

''Go see if they're here yet?'' Torres urged Ben and he nodded.

''Will you be alright? I'll be back in five,'' he checked and Foster nodded.

As soon as they were alone Torres dropped down on one knee beside her and placed a cool hand on her forehead.

''You don't have a fever but Loker said that you had the stomach flu. Do you?'' Torres was forthright as usual and Foster flinched at her firm tone.

Torres didn't say anything at first and then she raised her eyebrows.

''You're pregnant aren't you?'' She asked and Foster knew there was little point lying as she would see through it in a second, she was a natural after all.

She nodded and Torres pursed her lips before giving a false smile.

''Don't worry, my sister-in –law passed out all the time when she was pregnant. You and your baby will be fine,'' Torres moved to reassure her but Foster turned her head away and fought back tears.

It was happening again.

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''Em, you need to come get me,'' Johnny sniffed down the phone to his big sister.

''Why? What's wrong?'' Emily sounded resigned, this wasn't the first time she had received a call for help from him.

''I got in a fight so I walked out of school,'' Johnny stuttered.

''Jono, why?'' Emily was exasperated, her brother was a pain in the ass but she was never going to reject him.

''They were talking about mum, saying stuff about her so I smashed Cole's big, fat face in. He's a prat,'' Johnny was defensive and Emily sighed in resignation. This had only been a matter of time, Sophie's trial was next week and there had been some write ups in the newspapers.

Emily had tried to talk to Cal about it but all he ever wanted to do these days was bad mouth Bailey so she had given up.

''I'll call Bailey, we'll come get you. Where are you?'' Emily stepped up as her father wasn't prepared to.

They were there within fifteen minutes, Emily consigned the fact that their dad would be getting two phone calls about his kids cutting school to the back of her mind. She was so pissed off at his attitude towards Bailey that he could go to hell as far as she was concerned.

''Jono, don't cry,'' Emily jumped off the bike in a flash and embraced her crying brother who was sporting a bloody nose and a bruised cheek.

''I hate them! I hate all of them, I hate that fucking school. Why can't I go to a normal school? They're all so up themselves, bunch of fucking snobs,'' Johnny sobbed and Emily felt a surge of anger. She had told her dad that the exclusive, private school he chose for Johnny was a bad fit but he wouldn't listen. He never listened to anything.

''I'm okay. Sorry, I'm being a pillock,'' Johnny pulled away and rubbed his sleeve across his face furiously.

''No, you're not. I get it, they shouldn't have said bad stuff about your mom. If anyone said shit like that about my mom I'd punch their lights out too,'' Emily felt bad for him, he had coped with so much and the fact that his mother was about to publicly humiliate him couldn't have come at a worse time.

''Thanks Em,'' Johnny gave her a watery smile.

''What am I gonna say to dad? He's gonna kill me, he said if I did one more thing he was going to send me to military school. He won't will he?'' Johnny asked and Emily laughed at the ridiculousness of Cal's threat.

''No Jono, he won't,'' Emily linked her arm through his and he sniffed loudly.

''What is military school anyway?'' Johnny made her laugh even more and she looked over at Bailey who winked causing her to blush.

Emily knew that she couldn't resist Bailey much longer, he had always been the perfect gentlemen but Emily had decided that he was the one, the man she wanted to lose her virginity to. She was already planning the big night and Bailey saying no wasn't a thought that had even occurred to her.

''It's where dumb ass people send their kids when they can't cope with them anymore,'' Emily was disconcerted when Bailey frowned at her words.

''That's not really true Em, military school can be really good for some kids,'' he said and Emily shrugged, not inclined to disagree with her golden boy.

''Can I have a go on your bike?'' Johnny brightened at that idea.

''No, it's dangerous,'' Bailey was instant with his rebuttal and it was Emily's turn to frown.

She hated Johnny being upset and knew that a ride would cheer him up so she resolved to use her womanly wiles.

''Come on B, he's had a bad day. Give him a ride,'' Emily walked over to Bailey and slung her arms around his neck, nuzzling in close.

''No Em, he's twelve. You should call your dad, they'll be worried,'' Bailey resisted her but he could feel himself weakening.

''I'll make you a deal, give him a ride and I'll call my dad. I promise,'' Emily tried again, pressing herself into Bailey.

Johnny wasn't that impressed by her deal but held his tongue in the hope that she would get him what he wanted.

''Okay, just one ride,'' Bailey caved against his better judgement, putty in the hands of this girl that he was now hopelessly in love with.

''Thanks Bailey, you're the best,'' Johnny rushed forward, grabbing the crash helmet from Emily's hand.

Emily smiled and placed a soft kiss on Bailey's cheek.

''I'll pay you later,'' she breathed in his ear, just like she'd seen grown woman do in a million movies. Bailey blushed as his legs shook, desire coursing through his veins. He knew she was too young but he couldn't resist her, their connection absolute.

''Let's go,'' Johnny was already on the bike and jumping with excitement. Bailey laughed, Emily's baby brother was cute, troublesome but cute.

''Hold on tight and we are not going fast. We clear?'' Bailey pointed at the young boy who nodded solemnly whilst trying to suppress a grin of triumph. Bailey climbed on, he was fighting his conscience, he knew this was wrong and dangerous but Emily had asked and he was powerless to deny her anything.

It happened fast, it wasn't Bailey's fault. The back tyre clipped a discarded piece of scrap metal lying unobtrusively in the kerb and it blew dramatically. Bailey lost control of the bike and it fell with an ear piercing screech. Bailey struggled to pull himself away but his leg was trapped beneath the main body and it dragged him along with it, the rough surface of the road ripping through tender skin and drawing crimson, red blood instantly.

Emily watched in horror as the two people she loved above all others, bar her father, slid away from her in a cascade of sparks. She let out a scream and then ran forward to help them, fumbling for her cell as she did.

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Cal's eyes blinked open, he looked around confused and befuddled.

What was that bloody noise? ''I'm forever blowing bubbles'' is what that was and as he obviously wasn't at Upton Park, it meant his phone was ringing.

''Lightman,'' he croaked into the mouthpiece, he listened, his eyes growing wide with panic as he sat up urgently, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed.

''I'll be right there,'' he said before hanging up. He picked his trousers off the floor and stood to put them on.

''What's wrong?'' Zoe asked, she pulled the sheet over her naked breasts in a false show of modesty but Cal didn't even notice.

''I've got to the hospital,'' Cal replied as he tugged his shirt over his head.


	3. Chapter 3 A Rude Awakening

Thanks for the reviews. I have had a boycott but you have to remember that Cal is not a straight forward character, he has shown in the past that he has the capabilty to do the wrong thing, he's damaged and that shows in his personal relationships. I am 100 per cent sure that he would not accept domicilty without a fight.

Anyway hope you enjoy the chapter, let me know what you think.

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Cal strode down the hospital corridor and tried to put out of his mind the last time he'd been here, the memories were not good. He saw Reynolds standing at the far end, he was pacing and appeared very anxious.

''How is she?'' Cal asked brusquely and Reynolds shot him a disparaging glare.

''Long lunch?'' he asked sarcastically and Cal knew his face showed his guilt.

''Whoa, you're kidding me right? What the hell Lightman?'' Reynolds face was a fascinating mixture of rage and disappointment.

''Don't judge me Ben. I'm a grown up, I do what I please and don't answer to anyone,'' Cal was bullish and it inflamed Reynolds further.

''Is that right?'' Reynolds squared up to Cal who matched the challenge, suddenly they were eye to eye, chest to chest, neither giving an inch.

''Gentlemen, can I please remind you that you are in a hospital,'' A doctor interrupted the confrontation. Reynolds was the one who had the grace to look embarrassed.

''How is she doc?'' Reynolds broke away, casting Cal a warning glare as he did, this was far from over.

''Which one of you is with Doctor Foster?'' The doctor was experienced enough to recognise a problem when he saw one.

''I am,'' Reynolds said firmly and he was disappointed to see Cal back down, he turned and looked at his feet, his hands shoved in his pockets in a false show of indifference.

''Right well, you can see her now,'' the doctor didn't elaborate as he was very aware of patient confidentiality.

''Thank you,'' Reynolds replied, the doctor nodded succinctly and walked away, he had no desire to involve himself in what was so obviously a tricky situation.

''What's wrong with her?'' Cal asked softly looking up at Reynolds who stiffened.

''If you don't know, I'm not going to goddamn tell you,'' Reynolds snapped and Cal paused to consider his words. Truth was, guilt was biting deep, he had no idea why he had pushed the self destruct button but he was more than aware of the seismic repercussions. He had done it again, sabotaged a meaningful relationship for no good reason other than the fact that he could.

''Ben, I...'' Cal suffered some self doubt, an emotion he was most definitely not comfortable with.

''Don't, alright just don't. Don't tell her, not now. For once in your life consider someone else's feelings and keep this to yourself,'' Reynolds was only interested in Foster and how she might react to such a catastrophic betrayal.

The two men's eyes met and Cal felt self loathing bubbling under but as it wasn't a new feeling to him so he accepted it as the norm.

Cal nodded and then he frowned as he caught sight of something in the distance.

''What?'' Reynolds looked behind him where Cal's eyes were fixed.

''Dad! Oh God dad,'' Emily was running towards him, tears streaming down her face and Cal was stunned although he held out his arms spontaneously.

''Sweetheart, what are you doing here?'' Cal asked as he embraced her, he was clueless and not a little afraid, what the hell was she doing here? Reynolds watched them with a frown.

''The bike, it just went over. Bailey, he was screaming. His leg was shredded, Jesus fuck Dad,'' Emily sobbed and Cal pulled away from her, placing his hands on her cheeks to calm her.

''Em? Em? Calm down, come on breathe, tell me what happened,'' Cal said softly and Emily hiccupped as she attempted to collect herself.

''Bailey had an accident on his bike,'' she stuttered out and Cal looked over at Reynolds who nodded.

''I've got it. She'll be fine, I'll look after her. Take care of your family,'' Reynolds was sharp and he turned, striding away.

''It's alright luv, where is he?'' Cal was calm and then he saw something in Emily's face that made his blood run cold.

''What? What aren't you telling me?'' Cal gripped her arms and he shook her slightly, she was hiding something from him, something serious.

''Johnny was on the back of the bike,'' Emily whispered, her face contorted with agony.

''What?'' Cal's fingers tightened on her arms and Emily cringed, uttering a moan of pain.

''He was so quiet dad, Bailey was screaming but Jono was just limp, limp and he didn't make a sound,'' Emily sobbed.

''Did he have a helmet on?'' Cal shook her again and Emily nodded but she bit her lip.

''Em, for God's sake just tell me,'' Cal was panicking now, really panicking.

''It came off dad. I don't know why, it just came off,'' Emily watched her father fearfully and Cal took a deep breath.

''Take me, just take me,'' Cal couldn't help himself, he pushed her in front of him. Emily led the way and as Cal followed her, he knew that he could be about to pay a very high price for his dalliance and self indulgence. He checked his cell and he had several missed calls, calls he had ignored because he was satisfying his desires with little thought for those he loved above all others.

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Reynolds slipped into the room nervously and Foster looked up, she smiled happily and Reynolds returned it.

''Everything okay?'' He asked and Foster nodded.

''I can't believe it but yes, everything is okay. Just low blood pressure,'' Foster was thrilled and Reynolds felt hard resolve settle, Lightman was not going to ruin her dream. Lightman didn't deserve this wonderful woman, she was a gem and Lightman had no idea how lucky he was.

''Thank you Ben,'' Foster gave him a serene smile and Reynolds couldn't hide his surprise.

''What for?'' He was confused and he pulled over a chair to hide it from her.

''You didn't call Cal,'' Foster replied quietly and Reynolds was crushed by disappointment, Lightman was uppermost in her mind and Reynolds didn't know whether that would ever change.

''No, yeah well maybe it's best he doesn't know,'' Reynolds didn't correct her, he couldn't bring himself to tell her that he believed that Lightman didn't give a damn.

''Yes, it is,'' Foster agreed.

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''I'm Johnny's father, Johnny Lightman,'' Cal stopped the first doctor he saw and he didn't like what he saw pass across his face.

''Mr Lightman?'' The doctor checked and Cal nodded, irritated that he had to confirm it again.

''Yes, that's what I just said and it's Doctor actually,'' Cal didn't manage to hide his irritation after all.

''Dad,'' Emily was embarrassed but Cal ignored her.

''Your son has suffered a trauma to the head, we aren't sure how badly injured he is but we suspect he may have a fractured skull. We are conducting a CT scan now. We will know more soon,'' the doctor was a professional through and through.

''Is he conscious?'' Cal knew that was significant and Emily's words were still ringing in his ears.

''He was but due to his age and the fact he was alone, we sedated him. A CT scan can be stressful for children and if they react badly it affects the accuracy of the results,'' the doctor's words were full of condemnation and Cal heard the message loud and clear.

''We called you several times but we got no reply. We had no choice but to treat, it was an emergency. In those circumstances we have the legal right to act, we asessed that it was in the best interests of our patient,'' the doctor didn't let up. Cal nodded, not trusting himself to reply.

''You can wait over there, we should know more soon. Do you want to know about the other boy?'' The doctor heaped on the pressure and Cal sighed in resignation, he deserved this.

''Yes I do but as I'm not a relative, you won't tell me will you?'' Cal retorted, unable to stop himself.

''No that's right, I won't. But his mother is there, perhaps you might like to ask her? I think she might appreciate the support,'' the doctor pointed over at a woman in a wheelchair. Cal was shocked and as he looked over at Emily he could see that she was as stunned as him.


	4. Chapter 4 Consequences

This story has become very angsty but Cal is a flawed character. Remember how he behaved in the Las Vegas episode, he self destructs and pushes those around him away. He's very frustrating but I won't make any apologies for writing in character. You must like the way he is or you wouldn't enjoy the show. He is a flawed genius and his flaws are shown in his interpersonal relationships which includes his children ( or his child in the show).

Anyway let me know what you think and thanks to those who are reading and especially those who take the time to review, I really enjoy your feedback.

Laters S X

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Cal approached the woman nervously, Emily hung back still struggling with her shock. Cal had known all along that Bailey had been misleading them but this was the last thing he'd imagined, he'd been thinking more along the lines of felonies or a drug habit.

''Mrs Welling? I'm Cal Lightman,'' Cal announced and the woman gave him a watery smile, she sniffed and wiped her eyes with the tissue in her hand.

''Yes, are you a doctor? How's my son?'' Mrs Welling looked straight at Emily, she showed no recognition and Cal was relieved. He had hoped that Emily had been innocent in this deception and he was pleased to have that belief confirmed. The idea that one of his children could mislead him to that extent was unthinkable.

''Uuum no well yes but I'm not treating Bailey,'' Cal stumbled over his words, unable to take his eyes away from the wheelchair.

''Oh,'' Mrs Welling looked puzzled then panicked, she looked quickly around to ensure there were other people nearby, alarmed by the approach of total strangers.

''This is Emily, my daughter,'' Cal held his arm up and beckoned a very reluctant Emily over.

''Hello,'' Mrs Welling was now at a total loss but she was trying to be polite. Maybe she did know them but from where?

''Johnny, my son was on the back of Bailey's motorbike,'' Cal explained and Mrs Welling looked horrified.

''Oh my goodness, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what Bailey was thinking giving that little boy a ride. He knows better Mr Lightman, really he does. I didn't think he knew any children of that age,'' Mrs Welling began to cry afresh and Cal raised his eyebrows at Emily who blushed.

''I don't think it was Bailey's idea Mrs Welling,'' Cal was a human being beneath the devil may care exterior and he had not wanted to add to this woman's already considerable burden.

''Your boy is only twelve isn't he? Bailey is older, he should have said no,'' Mrs Welling was adamant and was not going to allow Cal to comfort her.

''He did,'' Emily stuttered and Mrs Welling looked sharply at her.

''Are you the girl he's been calling?'' Mrs Welling's demeanour changed entirely as she began to put together the scenario that had resulted in this terrible disaster.

Emily glanced at Cal, a plea for help in her eyes but Cal held his hands up as he stepped back. Emily would have to deal with this alone, it was her mess and she had to face the inevitable consequences, one of which included facing Bailey's mother.

''Yes,'' Emily nodded, she folded her arms and looked straight down at the ground. Cal would have almost have felt sorry for her if it wasn't for the fact his son was potentially seriously injured and Emily was partially responsible.

''And..'' Cal prompted her and Emily's head shot up as her eyes threw daggers at him. However, she took a deep breath and dug deep.

''Bailey gave Johnny a ride because I asked him to. He said no but I persuaded him. It wasn't his fault and I am so sorry,'' Emily's eyes filled with tears and she appeared totally bereft.

Mrs Welling stared at her dumbfounded forcing Emily to explain further.

''Johnny was miserable and I knew it would cheer him up so I made Bailey give him a ride, I never thought they'd get hurt. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,'' Emily began to sob and Cal hugged her, he was proud of her honesty if not her actions.

''Honey, it was an accident, both of you should have known better. He's a little boy and needed you to guide him. I know saying no to children is hard but you have to sometimes for their own good. I hope you learn that lesson for the future,'' Mrs Welling proved to be a human being of the highest calibre and she forgave Emily just like that.

''I will, I promise. I know it was stupid, I won't do anything dumb ever again,'' Emily made an ill judged promise, confirming her inexperience and immaturity.

''I know honey, I know,'' Mrs Welling continued to be the bigger person.

Cal smiled his gratitude at the older woman as he guided Emily over to a nearby chair.

''How is your boy?'' Mrs Welling asked anxiously and Cal's face clouded.

''They're not sure,'' he replied , trying to control the tremor in his voice.

''Oh, I'm sorry,'' Mrs Welling couldn't say anything else as there wasn't anything anyone could say at that moment , nothing that would comfort Cal or Emily.

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Foster pulled on her coat and checked her cell for messages. Reynolds froze and watched her as she listened. She hung up the phone rapidly and looked around the room for her purse.

''I have to go. There's been an accident,'' Foster was fervent and Reynolds frowned, surely Cal hadn't called her? Not after his afternoon delight although Reynolds knew that Cal had the front to do such a thing.

''Emily left a hysterical message, something about that damn bike, Johnny's hurt. Goddamnit, where's my purse?'' Foster lost her usual cool persona and sank into hysterical mother at the drop of a hat.

Reynolds cringed at her words, she had invested completely in Lightman and his children, she was going to be devastated when she learnt the truth especially considering the fact she was carrying Lightman's third child.

''Calm down Gillian, the baby,'' Reynolds reminded her softly and she froze.

''You are not to mention that, not now, not ever. It's my business and I will decide when it becomes common knowledge,'' Foster's voice was laced with steel and Reynolds nodded quickly, he agreed wholeheartedly with that course of action.

This had the potential to destroy Lightman and Foster personally and professionally, Reynolds most definitely did not want that on his conscience. He was taking the typically male view point that it was possible for Cal's indiscretion to remain a secret, it was nonsense and deep down he knew it but it was all he had to hold onto at that moment.

''Let's go. Hurry up,'' Foster was impatient as she led the way through the doorway.

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''Wake up Johnny, open your eyes for me honey. Come on, let me see those beautiful blue eyes,'' A gentle voice broke into Johnny's dream and he groaned in irritation, he was happy and cosy where he was thank you very much.

''I know you can hear me, open your eyes. I have juice and I'm betting you're real thirsty,'' the voice was very insistent and a drink sounded inviting. Johnny's eyes flickered open and he was greeted with a huge beaming smile from Carla, the nice nurse who had looked after him before when he had no one.

''There you go. Let's take a look at you,'' A male doctor replaced Carla and shone an annoying light in his eyes. Johnny pulled his head away grumpily and he flinched as his head protested.

''You have a headache which is what you get when you don't wear a crash helmet on a motorbike,'' the voice scolded him and Johnny scowled at the young intern.

''Was wearing a helmet,'' he muttered, he wasn't that dumb.

''Try fastening it next time but you're a lucky kid with a hard head. The helmet took most of the impact before it flew off so apart from a headache and mild concussion, you are good to go,'' The doctor made it clear that Johnny had been lucky, very, very lucky.

''Here honey, have some water,'' Carla interrupted, the child had just had an accident, he wasn't in any fit state for a scolding just yet.

''You said juice. Don't like water,'' Johnny was cantankerous which made the doctor chuckle.

''Not much wrong with you. Would you like to see your family?'' The doctor was surprised when Johnny frowned.

''Is my mom here?'' he asked and the doctor shook his head, he hadn't seen a mother, he was sure of that. The word 'mom' sounded strange in an English accent, they didn't know he meant his American mother.

''I mean Gillian Foster, is Gillian here?'' Johnny insisted and Carla shushed him as she could see he was getting agitated, he needed his rest.

''Why don't I go and find out?'' she asked and Johnny nodded.

''Don't want to see my dad only Gill and Em,'' Johnny shocked both adults who exchanged concerned looks.

''Why are you mad at your daddy sweetie?'' Carla asked curiously and was relieved when anger not fear passed over Johnny's face.

''He's an asshole and I don't wanna see him. He wasn't here, he didn't answer his phone when you called him,'' Johnny was mad as hell, not that he was going to say the real reason. He'd overheard them trying to contact his father, he also knew who Cal was seeing at lunchtime so he worked it out. Cal had been too busy with Zoe to bother about him and that meant they were doing only one thing. Johnny was aware from Emily that her parents were not as separated as they liked people to believe, it was one of the reasons he disliked Zoe so much.

Carla and the doctor were reassured, this was just childish resentment of a parent's absence at an inopportune time, not anything more sinister.

''It's okay sweet pea, you see who you want. I'll go and see if I can find your mom,'' Carla left before Johnny could mention that she wasn't really his mother.

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The doctor strode over to Cal who braced himself although much as before he knew it was good news before the doctor opened his mouth. The medical man explained quickly and Cal listened politely although he was keen to check Johnny over himself.

''Can I see him now?'' Cal asked and was shocked when the doctor didn't reply immediately, instead he turned to a nurse who looked embarrassed.

''Dr Lightman, Johnny is upset. He said he wants to see his mom. Is she here?'' Carla looked around and was perplexed by Emily's gasp of shock.

''His mother? He asked to see his mother?'' Cal was astounded and hurt exploded in the pit of his stomach. Why on earth would Johnny ask to see Sophie after all she had done?

''Yes, he asked for Gillian,'' Carla thought it was one of those progressive families where the children called their parents by their names, something she found strange and disapproved of.

''Oh,'' Cal felt the bottom drop out of his world, he had allowed his son to love his partner to the point that he asked for her when he was in pain and he had just betrayed her in the worse possible way which would hurt Johnny beyond comprehension. Cal wished he could rewind the day but such regrets were too little, too late. The repercussions had begun and he would have to cope with it. One thing he knew was that the truth could never be revealed, the pain it would cause was incomprehensible.

''Cal, how is he?'' Foster appeared as if by magic beside him.

''Gill, how are you? What's wrong with you?'' Cal sked, he had an inkling why she was here but needed her to say it. Their eyes met and Cal waited for her to confirm the inevitable.

''Just the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten so passed out,'' Gillian took the coward's route and Cal nodded, happy to believe her.

''How do you know about Johnny?'' Cal was still suspicious so applied more pressure.

''I called her,'' Emily admitted. Cal glanced at Foster and could see nothing untoward in her face, he was relieved. Get a grip Cal for God's sake, stop imagining things he told himself.

''This is Gillian,'' Cal turned his back on all of them, he was angry at her because Johnny had asked for her not him. It was childish but Cal couldn't control it.

''Johnny would like to see you,'' Carla said and Foster glanced anxiously at Cal who waved his arm irritably.

''Is he okay?'' Foster was baffled but she was really only concerned with Johnny. Cal having a tantrum would have to wait for now.

''I'll explain, come with me,'' Carla could feel the rage reverberating off Cal so diffused the situation as quickly as she could.

Cal chose to ignore Reynolds and Emily, instead of behaving like a mature adult, he stuffed his hands in his pockets, leaned against the wall and began to brood, his face set in an unbecoming scowl.

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	5. Chapter 5 Zoe Does Her Worst!

Thanks for the reviews, this continues to be complicated. Just watched the newest episode, enjoyed it but have a bone to pick. Seems a bit rich to me for the writers of Lie to Me to try and pretend now that Cal and Foster's relationship is purely platonic, that is not what has been suggested in the past. Its a mistake and I hope it isn't a critical one.

I think my story is much closer to what has been hinted at but that may be arrogant on my part.

Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think.

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Johnny was still feeling drowsy and closed his eyes again, he sank back into a deep slumber despite trying to fight it.

Foster slipped into the room and approached his bed, her thoughts were going nineteen to the dozen, what on earth was wrong with Cal? Did he know? The thought horrified her, she was sure he didn't want any more children, he had his hands full with the children he already had, that much was very clear! Her feelings towards future motherhood was a different matter altogether but she needed to take time to mull over what she was going to do.

She looked down at a sleeping Johnny, he appeared much younger than his years. She stroked his soft, downy cheek and brushed silken hair from his eyes, imagining that one day she would do this to her own child, finally her own child after all the disappointments over the years. However, although she was overjoyed, she was also deeply troubled by what she was considering.

Johnny was a striking looking boy, he had a face like an angel but the devil lurked beneath the beautiful exterior, a devil borne from a difficult and traumatic upbringing. Was she risking a similar fate for her own offspring if she repeated the mistakes of this child's mother and deprived her baby of its father?

Foster was overwhelmed and placed a protective hand over the gentle swell of her stomach, she couldn't rush this decision, and she had to be sure.

Johnny watched her as she mused, lost in her thoughts and he was curious why she was so preoccupied. Had she worked it out too?

''Hello,'' he whispered nervously and Foster blinked in surprise.

''Oh honey, are you okay?'' Foster immediately focussed her attention on him and a gentle smile tugged at his lips, he loved her so much, it had crept up on him and now he was permanently attached to her. The thought of losing her was unthinkable, he would not allow that to happen, he would do anything to stop that nightmare from transpiring.

''My head hurts and I'm thirsty,'' he croaked, why did being in hospital mean you had a permanently parched throat?

''Here you go,'' Foster placed a cup to his lips and he drank thirstily, enjoying the cool, soothing sensation.

''Thanks,'' Johnny lay back with a sigh.

''The doctor says you're fine and you can go home in a few hours,'' Foster said, watching his reaction carefully.

Johnny scowled and stuck out his bottom lip, his resemblance to Cal was striking and a lump appeared painfully in Foster's throat. This boy belonged to Cal, his essence was his father, it was as apparent as night and day. As Foster loved Cal to the depths of her being, the compliment naturally extended to the son. However, that was not the whole story, they had another connection, it was risky loving Cal Lightman and they were both haunted by the fear that one day he might abandon them.

''Don't wanna go home,'' Johnny grumbled and Foster paused, unsure what to make of Johnny's attitude, he was devoted to Cal as his father was to him, not that Johnny would acknowledge that.

Foster knew that Johnny didn't fully trust Cal but in reality he had nothing to worry about. The truth was that nobody or anything was more important to Cal than his children but nothing Foster said could convince Johnny of that fact. Her fear was grounded in reality whereas Johnny's wasn't but that didn't make his fear any less real than hers.

''You worried about your dad being mad at you?'' Foster went for the obvious reason and Johnny's eyes flashed with rage.

''No, I don't give a toss what he thinks. He's a bloody idiot,'' Johnny thought his entire family were idiots, Emily included as she was Zoe's daughter. Johnny had never hated anyone as much as Zoe in his life, she was taking his dad away, stealing him away from him and Gillian. He reacted the way anyone of such tender years would, with anger and resentment. He looked at Foster to see if she felt the same way but all he saw was confusion on her face.

''Johnny, stop it! What's wrong with you?'' Foster scolded him and then Johnny knew she was clueless which meant this was still a secret.

''Sorry, '' he mumbled as he tried to decide what to do, if he was going to tell her then it had to be now. If he kept quiet, he would have to live with it forever, later it would not be his secret to reveal. Johnny's eyes began to burn with treacherous tears, he knew he was going to have to choose, choose between Gillian and his dad.

He blinked back the tears and took a deep breath then he stopped as he faced the very real possibility that if he did this then his father might end up hating him and he couldn't bear that thought even though Cal had betrayed him and their relationship.

Johnny began to cry openly as the enormity of the very adult and confusing dilemma he faced overwhelmed him.

''Johnny sweetie, what's wrong?'' Foster was bemused by his tears but her maternal instincts took over and she pulled him into her arms where his crying intensified to the point where she became alarmed by his distress.

''Tell me honey, tell me why you're so upset. Please just tell me,'' Foster begged, Johnny pulled back and looked intensely at her then he noticed something.

Foster had put on weight but she was always meticulous about her diet apart from the occasional slip from grace, pudding and slurpies not withstanding.

Johnny's eyes grew wide as something totally terrifying occurred to him, something that changed everything!

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''Dad, he's worried. He knows that you're gonna be pissed at him so he's avoiding you. Don't be such a big kid, he's the one who's twelve not you,'' Emily scolded Cal the way only she could and Cal looked up at her as her words sank in.

He glanced over at Reynolds who was brooding on the other side of the room and Cal realised that Emily was right. Suddenly, he was embarrassed as he knew that he was behaving dreadfully, then he did what he always did and was bullish when faced with his own frailties.

''He should be bloody worried, getting on the back of that bike was the stupidest thing he's ever done in a long line of stupid,'' Cal pushed himself off the wall and sauntered towards Reynolds who looked warily at him.

''Uuum dad, you do remember the exploding house incident right?'' Emily pointed out and Cal gave her a crooked smile.

''Alright, fair enough. The second most stupid thing and why wasn't he at bloody school?'' Cal was staring at Reynolds who met his eyes without flinching.

Emily squirmed uncomfortably and Cal took pity on her, after all she was still worried sick about Bailey so Cal cut her some slack.

''Em, go and see if you can find some coffee. I'm sure Mrs Welling would like some, right?'' Cal smiled at the woman who was watching them curiously.

''Yes, that might help. Perhaps I could come with you?'' Mrs Welling wanted away from this tension, she had enough problems of her own and there was obviously a sub text, you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

''That's a great idea,'' Cal beamed falsely and Mrs Welling wished she could get up and walk away from this. Cal handed Emily some money and she pushed Mrs Welling away.

''So?'' Cal raised his eyebrows at Reynolds as they metaphorically squared up to each other.

''So I keep your dirty little secret because if I don't then a lot of people get hurt including that awesome woman who I happen to respect the hell out of. Pity you don't,'' Reynolds virtually snarled and Cal covered his regret with cockiness.

''Thanks mate. Good decision,'' Cal winked and he saw Reynolds fists clench and he couldn't really blame him, Cal wanted to punch his own lights out.

''I'm not doing it for you,'' Reynolds muttered and Cal nodded.

''Fair enough. I get it mate, I'm well out of order, I know that and if it helps I won't do it again,'' Cal made a promise he knew he probably wouldn't keep, Zoe's pull on him was powerful and Cal found himself unable to resist despite the fact he knew it was destructive for everyone including the main protagonists.

''It doesn't but I will keep my word even if you don't,'' Reynolds didn't hide the disgust from his voice.

''Thanks mate,'' Cal held out his hand, he didn't bother denying Reynolds's accusation, they both knew he was correct. Reynolds looked at Cal's offered hand as if it were diseased but then he did what too many people did for Cal. He indulged him, somehow even though he was cocky and overbearing, people were drawn to him and they gave him the benefit of the doubt constantly even when he didn't deserve it.

Reynolds shook his hand and Cal grinned.

''Oi, oi, here comes trouble,'' Cal covered his panic with humour as he saw Zoe coming down the hospital corridor towards them.

''Great, just what we need,'' Reynolds wasn't impressed and Cal rocked back and forth on his feet with a stupid smirk on his face.

''Love, what are you doing here?'' Cal tried to behave as normally as possible but he overdid it, Zoe stopped and looked suspiciously at him. She glanced at Reynolds and when he avoided looking at her, she knew they were busted.

''Emily called, how are the kids?'' Zoe was a lawyer with enough courtroom experience to play her allocated role.

Reynolds exhaled deeply and walked away casting a lame excuse about coffee in Cal's direction before disappearing from sight. Zoe cringed and looked at Cal who pulled a pained face.

''Our secret is out love but he's keeping stum, he's a sound bloke,'' Cal filled her in and Zoe nodded dumbly, she was relieved. It was one thing that Emily knew but it wasn't for everyone's consumption. Zoe justified their continuing involvement to herself by pretending that it was just an acceptable idiosyncrasy of their relationship. Something that only they understood.

''Well that makes us very lucky doesn't it?'' Zoe made a vast understatement and Cal chuckled.

''Yeah, it does. Johnny is okay but Bailey isn't,'' Cal made Zoe's face fall again.

''Oh no, how is Emily?'' Zoe was only concerned with her own child and it irritated Cal.

''She's holding it together but you do get that she persuaded Bailey to give Johnny the ride in the first place don't you? She's hardly innocent,'' Cal was harsh and Zoe's face hardened. The battle lines were drawn right down the middle of Cal's family.

''I'm sure Johnny gave her a very hard time to make her do something so irresponsible,'' Zoe retorted and Cal flared up, his natural protectiveness coming to the fore.

''He could have been killed,'' Cal responded but Zoe held her ground.

''And that's a new development is it? I seem to recall he has a history when it comes to life threatening situations doesn't he? Maybe you should consider house arrest, seems to me that's the only way you can control him,'' Zoe got nasty, very nasty and Cal wondered why he found her so irresistible, she could be a right cow when she wanted to be but if he was honest, that was part of the attraction.

'' Not this again. I parent the way I want okay? You do your thing and I'll do mine,'' Cal growled and Zoe shrugged.

''If you want to keep visiting your son in hospital then keep on doing what you're doing but a word of warning Cal,'' Zoe stepped forward and Cal pursed his lips but stayed silent.

''Stop that boy of yours getting my daughter in trouble or I swear to God, I will stop you seeing her,'' Zoe issued the ultimate threat but Cal did not rise to the bait.

''Emily is seventeen years old, that is her decision not yours. Oh and she is our daughter remember?'' Cal was calm and collected, he was right and Zoe knew it.

They faced each other in silent rage, both intransient in their respective positions and the seconds ticked by. Then Zoe caved in.

''Look Cal, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. But even you have to admit that Johnny is going to get hurt or worse soon if you don't do something. He is out of control and destructive, Cal. I'm sorry but he is,'' Zoe sounded genuinely regretful and although Cal agreed with some of what she said, he also knew that Johnny was not the bad kid she believed he was.

''Zoe, if I want advice from you. I will ask okay?'' Cal resorted to defensive as he had nowhere else to go.

''Fine, have it your way but please Cal, take this seriously and make sure you punish him properly for his sake and Emily's,'' Zoe tried one last time and Cal fixed her with cold eyes.

''I said Zoe, if I want your advice I would ask for it,'' Cal didn't concede but in his heart he knew she was right. He had to make Johnny behave himself but it would be a cold day in hell before he would admit to Zoe that he agreed with her!

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I am not a Zoe fan ( not subtle about it am I?) and the latest show convinced me even more of that fact but bizzarely I know loads of Lie to Me fans love her, weirdos!

Review just because I like to hear from you.

S X


	6. Chapter 6 Intrigue and Dishonesty

Thank you ever so much for the wonderful reviews, there are obviously plenty of people who appreciate a more complex plot which is reassuring. This continues to be angsty and tricky but very much in keeping with the show in my opinion although I am aware that I will need to inject some light relief soon!

Laters S X.

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''Sweetie, your dad is outside and he's worried. Why won't you see him?'' Foster had been trying for ten minutes now but Johnny was as stubborn as Cal.

''I don't want to. Tell him to go away. Can I come live with you?'' Johnny managed to completely flummox Foster, what could she say to that? However much she loved this boy, he wasn't hers, he had a father, a father who loved him an awful lot. Cal came alive in Johnny's company, they shared a connection that excluded everyone even Emily.

''Johnny, what has your dad done to upset you so much?'' Foster was very aware that there was something she didn't know here. She watched with dismay as Johnny's face changed, he brought down a guarded mask and she knew that he wasn't about to enlighten her.

''Nothing, he wasn't here was he?'' Johnny desperately wanted her to understand the unspoken message in his words but so far she remained oblivious or so it seemed to him.

''Honey, he didn't do that deliberately and you have to remember that he is here now, '' Foster defended Cal as she always did and then a thought occurred to her making her frown.

''Bloody long lunch,'' Johnny muttered and Foster admitted to herself that Johnny had a point but there again, Johnny did have a real problem with Zoe.

''Johnny, you are being unfair and I really think it's time you saw your father,'' Foster dismissed her ludicrous musings and changed tact as being understanding was getting her nowhere.

Foster recoiled from the glare that Johnny flashed at her and she started to lose her temper.

''Johnny, this is not the time to have a tantrum. Why did you get on that bike? What were you thinking?'' Foster was powerless as she slipped back into angry mother mode. She had had more than enough of Johnny's sullen attitude and she wanted some answers.

Johnny shrugged and looked away, this wasn't going the way he'd hoped and now she was mad at him as well. In the face of her disapproval he withdrew.

''That is not an answer. You are not a baby and you know better. You could have been killed, do you understand that?'' Foster experienced an unpleasant flashback as she recalled that awful morning when she had discussed Johnny's funeral with Cal and her annoyance intensified.

''Johnny Lightman, I asked you a question so have the courtesy to answer me,'' Foster found herself playing the heavy parent role, something she usually left to Cal but she had had a difficult day so she gave into her anger.

''I'm sorry alright? It was an accident,'' Johnny whined, he was after all only twelve and Foster just didn't seem to be picking up the implication of his words so he gave up. She either didn't get it or she wasn't interested, whichever it was, Johnny decided he could do no more.

''An accident that could have been avoided. I have tried to be patient but you are going to face your father whether you like it or not. A word of advice, you will need a better explanation than anything you've said to me so far,'' Foster gave into the simplest course of action, the one that meant she didn't have to consider why Cal had been unavailable and also let her off the hook when it came to Johnny. He could explain himself to Cal which was the way it should be. Johnny was not her son, however much she wished he was, he wasn't. She had her own child to consider now and that was far from simple.

Foster looked up from her thoughts and was taken aback by the sadness in Johnny's eyes. Their gazes locked and Foster had the uncomfortable feeling that Johnny knew she had chosen and he had come off second best.

''I understand,'' Johnny whispered and Foster froze.

''What do you understand?'' Foster asked sharply and it was Johnny's turn to recoil. Foster would have given anything to take back those words but it was too late.

''Nuffink, I don't understand nuffink. I'm a kid so I don't understand niffink,'' Foster heard the accusation in Johnny's words but she ignored it, this was too complicated and she wanted to run away. Run away from Cal, from Johnny and from this impossible situation. It wasn't fair, her dream had come true and it was being tainted, tainted and complicated and Foster resented it. She resented these people ruining her big moment, her moment of joy.

''I'll get your father,'' Foster hated herself but she did it anyway. She walked from the room without a backward glance. As she walked back to the waiting room, she repeated the mantra over and over. He is not your son. He is not your son. However many times she said it, she just knew it wasn't really true.

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''Do you love my son?'' Mrs Welling disturbed Emily's misery with a very uncomfortable question and Emily had no idea how to answer.

''If it helps, I'm very sure he loves you,'' Mrs Welling followed up her question with some insight and Emily just stared at her, convinced that this really wasn't the time or the place.

''But you didn't even know who I was,'' Emily couldn't help pointing out.

''Didn't I?'' Mrs Welling smiled and Emily was wordless.

''He has been so happy recently, I knew he had a girl but he's very private so I didn't push him. If he'd wanted me to know, he would have told me,'' Mrs Welling had a calming karma and Emily understood where Bailey got his loving nature from. Emily found herself beaming at this woman who was the total opposite of her own parents. She was soothing, something neither Cal nor Zoe were, far from it.

''So?'' Mrs Welling asked and Emily nodded, words weren't necessary, she did love Bailey, she loved him with an intensity that terrified her.

''That's what I thought,'' Mrs Welling smiled as well and both woman had their moment, their precious moment before their lives fell apart.

''Mrs Welling?'' A doctor was standing next to them and Mrs Welling waved her hand desperately, reaching for the support of a human touch. Emily caught hold and they connected in their hour of need.

''The surgery went as well as it could but his fibula and tibia suffered several serious fractures , we have inserted pins but I have to warn you that there is a risk of compartment syndrome which could compromise his blood supply and there is the serious possibility of infection. Many of the fractures were compound and there was a lot of debris, we have cleaned the wounds and he is receiving intravenous antibiotics but now we have to wait. The next twenty four hours are critical,'' the young doctor appeared relieved that his speech was finished.

''What does that mean? Is my son's life in danger?'' Mrs Welling was a brave woman and asked the bravest of questions.

''Yes, it is a possibility. He is at risk of septicaemia which would put his life in jeopardy and in the worst case scenario we might have to consider more radical treatment. He is young and strong which is a plus, we really don't know, we have done all we can for now, I'm sorry,'' Emily felt empathy for the young doctor who had beads of sweat on his forehead and was obviously out of his depth. Emily wondered what 'radical treatment' meant, she had an idea and she felt nausea as the true magnitude of Bailey's injuries hit her.

''How long until we know?'' Mrs Welling didn't waiver and Emily was filled with admiration.

''As I said twenty four hours but if infection sets in then we may have to take a decision earlier. Do you understand what I am saying?'' The doctor fixed her with a steady gaze and Mrs Welling nodded. She knew what the ominous term meant even if Emily didn't.

''Yes, thank you, I understand. Do what you have to, just do everything you can to make sure my son lives, that's all that matters. Anything else we can cope with,'' Mrs Welling made it clear that Bailey was to be saved even if it meant amputating his leg.

The doctor nodded and walked away. Emily stared at Bailey's mother, unable to comprehend what had just been said.

''Oh sweetie, come here,'' Mrs Welling held her arms out and Emily went gratefully, grateful for any small comfort.

''I don't even know your name,'' Emily whispered as she held on tight.

''My name's Marie, call me Marie,'' Marie told her in a soothing voice and Emily began to cry.

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''Gillian, sit down. You look pale again,'' Reynolds reacted with concern the minute Foster stepped into the waiting room. Cal didn't move, he watched her speculatively as Reynolds guided her to a nearby chair.

''How's boyzy?'' Cal chirped up and Foster rolled her eyes.

''Unrepentant and grumpy,'' Foster retorted without thinking, she instantly regretted being so indiscreet when Cal's face darkened.

''So am I still under a restraining order?'' Cal asked sarcastically and Reynolds glared at him.

''What? Come on mate, my kid nearly gets himself killed and I'm not allowed to be pissed off. Please, I'm only human,'' Cal really did have a point and Reynolds grimaced.

''No Cal, you are free to go and see Johnny anytime you want. Just try not to be too hard on him, he's still woozy and he's upset for some reason,'' Foster snapped at him and Cal rolled his eyes.

''He's upset? Yeah I bet he's bloody upset. Upset that he's gonna have to explain to me what he thought he was doing getting on that bloody death trap,'' Cal's vulnerability was exposed, his children were his weakness and Foster knew it. She felt a little guilty and smiled apologetically, Reynolds looked less than impressed.

''Cal, I think everyone knows you have the right to be angry with Johnny but all we're trying to say that this might not be the time or place for you to let go of your feelings,'' Foster had started out trying to be sympathetic but ended up being patronising.

''Right, thanks Doctor Foster for your validation. Thank you for giving me permission to deal with my own child, thank you very much,'' Cal, quite predictably rankled and Foster blushed.

''She didn't mean it like that,'' Reynolds came to her defence and Cal raised his eyebrows.

''Oi, oi, not the normal reaction of a work colleague, is there something you wanna tell us about your feelings for Foster, Ben?'' Cal grinned and Reynolds stood up abruptly.

''Blimey, there is,'' Cal grinned, not perturbed by Reynolds physical challenge.

''Ben, sit down. Cal, stop it,'' Foster exerted her influence over both men. Reynolds sat down very slowly and although Cal was wearing an inane grin, he didn't say anything more.

''Shall I come with you?'' Zoe spoke from the corner of the room and Foster was surprised, she hadn't noticed her there. She blushed as she recalled her earlier incriminating thoughts and when she looked up she was embarrassed to find Cal's eyes fixed directly on her, although the normal mocking glow was missing. He looked away as if ashamed and Foster felt the seeds of panic take root. Was he hiding something after all?

''You checking up on my parenting skills again Zo? No great surprise there I s'pose. The whole bloody lot of you seem convinced that I'm a hopeless father,'' Cal's casual tone was back although there was steel in his voice, challenging anyone to argue with him. Foster allowed herself to believe her suspicions were ridiculous, mainly because that was what she wanted to believe or had to, considering her condition.

''No we don't think that, but that boy does wrap you around his little finger when he puts his mind to it so I figured you might need some help,'' Zoe said and Foster glared at her, shocked by the presumptuousness of her words, how dare she interfere between father and son? Plus her words weren't exactly complimentary, Foster could understand a child's resentment of a rival for his father's attention but Zoe was a grown woman.

''No, he doesn't. Cal, are you going to let her say that?'' Foster protected the child without thinking. She was struck dumb when something unspoken passed between Cal and Zoe.

''It's okay Zo. I think I can handle a twelve year old all by myself,'' Cal attempted to pacify Zoe but her irritation was clear until she covered it. Foster couldn't believe he didn't even acknowledge her protest. It was as if he was agreeing with Zoe, Foster was angry on Johnny's behalf, the least he deserved was his father's loyalty but Zoe was also Cal's weakness. They all knew that.

''Fine but remember what I said Cal, if this is how you want to spend the next ten years then carry on as you are. If it isn't then take his behaviour seriously and deal with it properly,'' Zoe ignored Foster's indignant face although Cal was more than aware of the delicate situation he was in.

''Alright Zoe, I know what you think but in the end he's my kid not yours,'' Cal didn't wait for her reply, he was tired of discussing this, he just wanted to go see his son.

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Johnny pulled the covers over his head and curled up in a little ball. He hated them all, he hated his dad, his sister and that bitch of a mother of hers. The only person he didn't hate was Gillian and she had just walked away from him despite the fact he was trying to tell her what his dad had done to her.

He heard the door and screwed his eyes up tight, desperately wishing he was anywhere but here.

''Johnny, you awake son?'' Cal asked although he knew he was but was hiding from him, Cal couldn't blame him, he'd hide too if he was in his shoes.

''Jono, come on son. You are gonna have to face me sometime so show some bottle,'' Cal didn't let up and Johnny sighed heavily before poking his head out.

''Where were you?'' Johnny asked, his face set in a scowl and Cal took a moment, he could see a lot in Johnny's face and it unsettled him.

''When?'' Cal asked carefully, this wasn't how this altercation was meant to go, he had thought he would put Johnny right about his stupidity then take him home and make dinner.

''Before. You were with that skank, Zoe weren't you?'' Johnny was a gutsy kid, Cal had to give him that.

''Behave yourself son. Zoe is Emily's mum and she deserves your respect for that reason alone,'' Cal realised his mistake the moment he made it.

''What like you respect my mum?'' Johnny would never miss a slip like that, he was too clever and too touchy about his conception.

''That's different Jono, you know it is,'' Cal found himself defending himself.

''Do I? I do know that you love Emily way more than me so it makes sense that you would like her mother whilst you fucking hate mine. '' Johnny's voice went up and Cal looked nervously at the door.

''What's the matter? Bothered than someone might hear,'' Johnny was challenging Cal and he knew that he couldn't back down.

''No, I don't give a monkeys if anyone hears you because you're talking a load of rubbish. I am sorry that I wasn't around but that does not give you an excuse to behave like a little sod. You walked out of school and then got on that bloody bike, that's all I care about. That's it, finito, and once you've had a good night's sleep, you are gonna face the consequences, serious consequences. Now get bloody dressed,'' Cal dumped a bag of clean clothes on the bed next to Johnny who opened his mouth to continue his tirade.

''Don't,'' Cal pointed at him and Johnny shut it again. Their eyes locked, both determined not to acquiesce to the other but one of them held a position of power over the other so the winner of this particular battle of wills was never in any doubt.

''I don't wanna go home with you,'' Johnny crossed his arms and stuck out his bottom lip. He was lying, he wanted to go home more than anything. Go home to his Chelsea blue room, crawl into his nice, safe bed and shut out this very confusing world.

''I bet you don't but you are coming home even if I have to drag you there,'' Cal muttered as he pulled the clothes from the bag.

He leaned over into Johnny's face, holding them up in one hand.

''Get dressed or I swear I will do it for you. Do you wanna take the risk?'' Cal proved yet again that he was a hard ass as if Johnny needed reminding! There was a moment, a very brief moment when Cal thought that Johnny was going to continue to defy him but then it passed. Johnny scooted out the other side of the bed, grabbing his clothes as he did.

''Good choice,'' Cal sat in a chair and waited, suddenly exhausted by the drama of the day.


	7. Chapter 7 Choices

Thanks for the reviews. I'm on a roll with this one but have writers block with my Bones fic but I promise I will get to it. Watched the new one last night, bit perturbed by everyone's acceptance of the child being abused by his father's friend. Cal seemed frightened of the little boy and edgy when he was around him, I think they were trying to imply he reminded him of his younger self but not sure. Is Cal going to turn out to be an abused child? Hope not as they always seem to go that route, its a cliche isn't it?

Anyway, I'm sorry if I have alienated Zoe fans but it will become clearer as the story advances that Zoe is just as complex as all the other characters so its not as simple as saying she's not nice. Cal loves her, yeah sorry I believe he still loves her, its kinda the problem. So she can't be all bad right? Or is she my villain? You will have to wait and see.

Loads of complex things going on here.

Let me know what you think or how you might like this to pan out, always open to suggestions.

laters S X

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''I'm ready,'' Johnny sneered at Cal who stood with a deep sigh.

''What happened to your face?'' Cal asked as he held the door open for Johnny and he wasn't too surprised by the guilt that passed over his son's face.

''Duuuuh,'' Johnny waved his arms around in a pointless gesture designed to remind his father where they were.

''Pack it in right now, this attitude of yours is really starting to wind me up. I asked you a question, what happened to your face and don't say it was the accident because it won't wash?'' Cal knew the truth but wanted Johnny to tell him.

''Nuffink,'' Johnny shrugged and pulled a face. Cal dropped his arm, letting the door close again and Johnny stepped back, his eyes flicked nervously around the room. Cal had little choice other than to admit to himself that his son was frightened of him, all the signs were there.

''Jono, I know you hate your school and we're going to change it okay? Em was right,'' Cal hadn't even liked the school himself, it had been Zoe's suggestion and he had not wanted to appear to be playing favourites, Emily went to a good school so Cal figured so should Johnny.

Johnny didn't react the way he was supposed to, instead he snorted derisorily and Cal felt his temper flaring.

''What is your problem this time? I thought you hated that bloody school?'' Cal knew but he wasn't about to say it.

''Why because fucking Emily told you? Do you even give a toss what I think?'' Johnny was his father's son so met the challenge head on and the father in this situation knew he had to try and take the heat out of the confrontation.

''Look Jono, I'm doing my best here but nothing I say seems to make you happy,'' Cal was on the back foot, not a position he was familiar with but at that moment he would do anything to remove the glare of intense dislike coming at him from his son.

''You never talk to me, you talk to Emily, you talk to fucking everyone but all you ever do is shout at me or order me around just like you do Loker. Is it cos they're girls? Do you hate us cos we're boys?''

Johnny sounded genuinely confused and Cal flinched as there was some truth in his accusation. Cal did have different expectations of the females in his life. He was naturally paternalistic to all the woman he came across but with men or even boys he expected them to be tough and strong at all times just as he was.

Then Johnny started to cry, he tried to fight it but he was so tired, so very tired. He flung his arm across his face and once he couldn't see his father's face, he let go of all the misery and confusion that had accumulated over the last six months. Cal wiped his hand over his face as stress got the better of him , he had made a monumental mess of this. Johnny was a child, just a child and he needed him, needed him in a way that Emily didn't anymore and Cal was thankful for that. He wasn't ready to let go of his children, not yet. However, with that sentiment came guilt because Cal didn't deserve such devotion. If he was honest, right from the get go, right from the moment he had discovered he had another child, he had always treated him, thought of him, as second best. He had treated Johnny differently and there was no justification for it, the fact that he had missed Johnny growing up should have been a motivation to treat him as the gift he was. Cal had besmirched that gift, taken it for granted and he didn't know where to start to make up for his shortcomings. Somehow he had to, from nowhere an idea began to formulate, Johnny deserved a real family and there were two woman that Cal would consider making such a commitment to. He knew he had to choose, for the sake of everyone, he had to choose and stick to his decision.

''Jono, Jono, I'm sorry little mate,'' Cal didn't hesitate, he walked around the bed and wrapped his arms around the very distressed boy.

''I'm sorry son. I love you boyzy, I love you just as much as your sister,'' Cal wasn't comfortable exposing his innermost feelings but when faced with the real possibility that his little boy believed he didn't love him , he was a big enough man to endure that discomfort.

''I don't want Gill to leave. Please don't let her leave us,'' Johnny pleaded softly into his father's chest and then Cal had an epiphany, he recognised that his relationship with his ex-wife was an open secret which was tearing their nearest and dearest to shreds. Finally he had to acknowledge the truth, acknowledge that he would never be happy until he made a decision one way or another and stuck to it.

As Cal held his crying child, he knew in his heart that he could not contemplate letting Zoe go, however much he tried he just couldn't fight the deep, all encompassing love he felt for her.

Somehow, he would have to find a way to accommodate all those he loved and for the first time in a long time, Cal considered the unthinkable but was it what Zoe wanted? In a moment of clarity, Cal truly believed this was best for everyone.

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''Why are you so hard on Johnny? He is only a little boy or have you forgotten that?'' Gillian confronted Zoe in a way she never had before. Zoe was a constant thorn in Cal's side but Gillian had always turned a blind eye until now. The difference t was that his time she was hurting Johnny and Foster would not, could not tolerate that.

''I beg your pardon,'' Zoe was genuinely shocked by Foster's confrontation, she was so used to Foster's acceptance that she was taken aback.

''Gillian, why don't I take you home?'' Reynolds was concerned, Foster had had a scare and she needed to rest even if she wouldn't admit it.

''That would be a good idea,'' Zoe said coldly, she didn't want to fall out with Cal's best friend, she knew that Cal would be very unhappy with her if she escalated this, whatever the provocation. Zoe refused to acknowledge that her ex husband's relationship with his partner may have moved onto an altogether different footing, she was the woman in Cal Lightman's life and always would be.

''No, I want you to answer me. Johnny is Cal's son and he loves him. Do you understand that or are you going to continue to pretend otherwise?'' Foster was determined to do her best for Johnny, she could see the writing on the wall. As she could not stop a crashing car, she could at least limit the damage.

''Yes, I know he is his son and I know that he loves him but Johnny is a... difficult boy and I don't think Cal does a very good job handling him. I know that may upset you but that is what I believe,'' Zoe replied coldly and Gillian smiled wryly.

''And your feelings have nothing to do with the fact that Johnny's mother was Cal's first love, possibly the only woman Cal ever really loved apart from you. That has nothing to do with your heartless attitude to Johnny is that right?'' Foster was incandescent with rage but she held herself together as she always did, presenting a cool, calm persona to the world.

''I think that you are upset and not really thinking about what you are saying,'' Zoe also kept her cool and Gillian felt a wave of bone deep fatigue wash over her.

''Right, so that's enough. You are tired and I am taking you home,'' Reynolds stepped in and took Foster's arm, she leaned against him as she felt the familiar shakiness take hold. She had other considerations now and she nodded.

''Thank you Ben, maybe I should go home,'' Foster agreed and Ben nodded at Zoe before escorting Foster away to the parking lot.

Zoe smiled to herself, she had been worried about Foster but in the end it had been a groundless fear, her path was now clear and she could claim her prize.

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''Mom,'' Emily ran to her mother and hugged her desperately.

''Sweetie, what's wrong? What's wrong?'' Zoe, for all her faults was a good mother and responded to her child's distress.

''Bailey, his leg! He has pins and he could get an infection. Oh God mom, why did I do that to him? If Johnny hadn't been on the back, maybe he wouldn't have been so badly hurt?'' Emily sobbed out her despair and Zoe held her, saying little as there was little to say.

''It is not your fault Emily, it is not Johnny's fault, it was an accident,'' Marie's voice made Zoe look up and the older woman nodded, making it clear that Zoe should reinforce her assertion.

''Emily, baby, it isn't your fault,'' Zoe did what she could and Emily went quiet.

''I want to stay, stay here with Marie. Please mom, she'll look after me but I can't leave. I just can't,'' Emily pleaded and Zoe had no intention of saying no.

''You don't mind?'' Zoe looked directly at Marie who nodded.

''I would be happy to have the company. Your daughter is charming,'' Marie agreed and Zoe felt guilty that she couldn't say the same about this woman's child, she didn't know him well enough, had been unable to look beyond her prejudices to get to know him.

''I think that is a good idea,'' Cal interrupted them, he was standing at the doorway, Johnny hung behind him with a tear stained face, his arms clasped firmly around himself.

''Are you Johnny?'' Marie ignored the adults and focussed on the child. He nodded and looked down, his breathing laboured and shaky.

''Come and see me. Come on sweetie, I won't bite,'' Marie beckoned him over and he looked up at her, his eyes full of longing, he had no idea who she was but she was inviting. Any port in this storm would suffice for Johnny.

''I'm Bailey's mom,'' Marie explained, seeing his confusion and Johnny's face filled with panic. He shook his head, stepping instinctively away from her.

''I'm sorry, I'm really sorry,'' he managed to squeeze out.

''Honey, this is not your fault. Come and speak to me please,'' Marie was full of contempt for the adults in the room, she recognised a suffering child even if they didn't.

''I didn't mean it, honest,'' Johnny said without moving. Cal stepped closer to him and whispered in his ear but Johnny shook his head.

''I can't. I did it, I hurt him,'' Johnny looked up at Cal who knelt in front of him taking his arms.

''Son, this was an accident. Yes, you did wrong but so did Bailey and Emily. None of you knew this would happen, you didn't deliberately hurt anyone. It was an accident, a stupid accident. Bailey's mum just wants to talk to you,'' Cal spoke calmly but Johnny shook his head vigorously, his eyes welling as he glanced anxiously at Marie.

''I can't dad, please don't make me,'' Johnny pleaded and Cal nodded in understanding, he stood and stepped in front of Johnny, tucking him protectively behind him.

''I'm sorry Mrs Welling but not now,'' he said without further explanation. Marie nodded, her face soft with compassion, she was relieved that the boy had at least one ally.

''I understand but look after him. Promise me?'' Marie fixed Cal with a steady eye and he found himself nodding, she had an almost mystical effect. Cal could see that she used body language to her advantage but he saw no signs of deception, she was a genuinely good person, a rare commodity.

''Good,'' Marie was satisfied but then she turned her attention to Zoe.

'' You have a lot of issues and you need to deal with them. That boy deserves better,'' Marie stunned Zoe who went bright red.

''I'm not sure what you're talking about but I will keep your advice in mind,'' Zoe was polite although the woman's words rattled her.

''You do that,'' Marie nodded and Zoe frowned before turning to Cal.

''I'm hungry, shall we go out for dinner?'' Zoe behaved as if Johnny didn't exist without any conscience.

''No, I don't think that's a good idea. Johnny's tired, we'll get take out,'' Cal met her half way, he reminded Zoe of his responsibilities whilst accommodating her at the same time.

''Okay. Bye Emily. Keep in touch with your cell,'' Zoe kissed her daughter and gave her a fierce hug.

Cal followed suit and then held his hand out, Zoe placed her hand firmly in his and Johnny's face was a picture of misery. Emily looked at Marie who smiled reassuringly, there was nothing Emily could do about this, it just had to run its course.

Cal stopped and looked back.

''Come on Jono,'' Cal lifted his arm and Johnny tucked himself under it and then they walked away.

''Your dad will look after him,'' Marie reassured Emily who looked less than convinced. She loved her mother but one thing she knew was that her mother and father did not do well together. She wouldn't swap places with Johnny for all the tea in China!

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Johnny was lost in a deep well of unhappiness, he was with his dad, who he was totally pissed off with and Zoe, who he hated to the depths of his soul, as a result he wasn't very hungry.

''Jonathan, don't push your food around your plate, either eat it or don't but playing with your food is just annoying,'' Zoe let rip and Johnny looked at her, searching desperately for a response that wouldn't land him in a world of hurt.

''My name isn't Jonathan, my name is Johnny, it's on my birth certificate that way,'' Johnny responded instinctively and he didn't understand the look of contempt that passed over Zoe's face.

''It's a solid name, just like Sid. I like it and was the name I wanted for my son,'' Cal said quietly, he didn't think twice about defending his child and Johnny smiled his thanks which made Cal feel as guilty as hell. He didn't know what to do with the animosity that Zoe directed towards Johnny, it certainly wasn't conducive for the happy family scenario Cal had in mind.

''Can I leave the table please?'' Johnny looked at Cal, he wasn't normally this formal but he was desperate to avoid any more of Zoe's disapproval and his manners were deeply ingrained. Despite Sophie's many faults, she had at least instilled the fact that you said please and thank you.

''Yes,'' Cal replied, he was so conflicted that he felt like he was drowning. Johnny rose from the table but Cal stopped him by placing his hand on his cheek.

''It will be alright son, it will. I'll make sure,'' Cal said softly and Johnny blinked in surprise unsure how to respond in the face of such blatant affection but his father was always affectionate. Right from the first moment Johnny had met him, Cal had expressed his love physically. He also expressed his displeasure that way, something Johnny didn't like but accepted as part of the package.

''I know dad,'' Johnny leaned forward and kissed Cal's cheek before casting a hateful glare at Zoe. He left as quickly as he could, he was angry with Cal but he still loved him and chose to trust him as he had little choice.

''Your son hates me.'' Zoe said taking a sip of her wine and Cal placed his knife and fork down very deliberately. He chuckled caustically and took a sip of his wine.

''Yeah he does, but how do we change that? Assuming that we want to,'' Cal looked searchingly at her and Zoe met his eyes without hesitation.

''Well obviously you are not happy with that state of play, am I right?''Zoe indulged in their normal jousting of words happily, this was familiar and secure.

''No, I'm not. He's not a bad kid, in fact he's pretty amazing if you give him a chance,'' Cal did not over react, he knew from bitter experience that did not sit well with Zoe. However, he was less than happy with Zoe's attitude but chose to tread carefully.

''I know that but I'm sorry Cal, he is naughty and out of control. You don't tolerate that from Emily, why is it acceptable from Johnny?'' Zoe was intransient and comfortable with her position.

''It's not but life hasn't exactly been normal has it? I'm making allowances,'' Cal explained himself, something he hated doing but Zoe, apart from Gillian, was the only person he was prepared to make this concession for.

''How's that working out for you?'' Zoe smiled smugly and Cal laughed out loud.

''I didn't know you were a Doctor Phil fan, he's a quack, you know that right?'' Cal lost himself in the verbal sparring, this was one of the aspects of their relationship that he relished.

''Is he? Well I know that he says that you don't take shit from your kids, do you disagree?'' Zoe 's eyes glinted, clearly she enjoyed this as well.

'' What do you think I should do then?'' Cal played a clever game, she was so full of opinions then maybe she had some miraculous suggestions, she seemed so sure of herself.

' You have to let him know that you call the shots,'' Zoe answered and Cal was disappointed.

''Right, so it's that easy is it? You are seriously telling me that Johnny doesn't know I'm in charge. Come on Zoe, respect my intelligence here,'' Cal was dismissive.

''He doesn't,'' Zoe snapped and Cal frowned at her.

''Sorry?'' He said and Zoe shrugged.

''Your son doesn't respect you. He thinks you're a sucker so he does as he pleases,'' Zoe turned up the heat and Cal postured.

''I disagree, my son does respect me,.'' he retorted, he took a gulp of wine to steady himself.

''Prove it then?'' Zoe challenged.

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	8. Chapter 8 Johnny Has a Tantrum

Thanks for the reviews, some of you will notice some of your ideas or thoughts incorporated, that's why I like reviews so much, they are inspiring! I am aware that Zoe is rapidly becoming the villain of the piece. It won't always be that way but at the moment it suits my purposes. I know she isn't that horrible although I don't think she's that nice either!

I realised that there had been very little interaction between Cal and Johnny so I fixed that.

Warning, there is bad language here. Those familiar with Johnny will be aware that he has been known to free with expletives and that is the case here. Sorry, if it offends.

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''Boyzy, why aren't you asleep?'' Cal stretched out on the bed alongside Johnny who shuffled over next to him.

''Couldn't sleep, did Em call?'' Johnny revealed his anxiety and Cal shook his head.

''Not yet son, playing a waiting game now. As you'll find out, life is all about waiting especially when you're a grown up,'' Cal grinned and Johnny rolled his eyes.

Cal put his arm around his boy and pulled him closer, Cal experienced a thrill whenever he held one of his children and they succumbed with natural trust and easy affection. He was honoured that they trusted him to that extent, it was a special and precious relationship that allowed such easy access to personal space. Cal's enjoyment was always tempered that with this child he had missed so much, a feeling that made him determined to relish the fleeting moments of togetherness.

''My head hurts,'' Johnny said and Cal sat up, concern in his eyes. He placed his hand on a cool headache, his anxiety lessened instantly, there was no sign of fever.

''Don't feel sick do yer?'' Cal checked as he settled back although he was pretty sure fatigue was the main problem.

''Nah, just a headache,'' Johnny sighed and laid his head on Cal's chest, snuggling closer still. Cal wasn't a man for sentimentality but he couldn't help but revel in the joy as he cuddled his tough, strong little man in the crook of his arm. This was the child he never believed he would have, he had considered himself blessed to have Emily so Johnny was a bonus, a very welcome bonus. If only Cal knew that he had a deposit left in the blessings bank yet to make an appearance.

''That's what happens when you head butt concrete. Don't do that again alright?'' Cal hid his scolding beneath a joke and Johnny pulled a face.

''I know dad,'' his reply had the slight twinge of a whine about it.

''What yer reading?'' Cal picked up the discarded book.

''Percy Jackson, its good,'' Johnny yawned and Cal perused the cover.

''If it's so good why aren't you reading it or were you doing something else instead?'' Cal pulled the DS hidden under the cover out and Johnny hid his face.

''So this stays with me for a while son,'' Cal put it on the ground next to him.

'' I tried to read but my head hurt, I'd just got to a good bit and all,'' Johnny replied sleepily.

'' How about I read it to you?'' Cal suggested and Johnny nodded.

''I'd like that, thanks dad,'' he sighed contentedly and waited.

Cal began to read and lost himself in a simple pleasure, a pleasure that allowed him a few peaceful minutes at least to forget his complicated life, a life that was starting to resemble one of Jerry Springer's worst offerings. Little did he know that analogy would become even more apt in the future.

Johnny sank into a deep slumber almost immediately and Cal was disappointed but he carried on reading regardless, a peace descended on him and his eyelids began to droop.

He let himself doze, knowing that he was going to sit up waiting for Emily to call, he also knew he would struggle to stop himself rushing to the hospital not that he could just drop everything anymore after all he had Johnny to consider. He contemplated that thought and smiled contentedly to himself.

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''Emily,'' Zoe held out the phone and Cal took it with a nod.

''Love, how's Bailey?'' Cal asked reticently.

''Still asleep but he's okay, well as okay as he can be,'' Emily sounded exhausted and Cal decided it was time she came home.

''I'll come get you,'' he said waiting for the argument.

''Okay, Marie said I should come home as well,'' Emily agreed as meek as a lamb and Cal realised there was now another influence on her now apart from her parents. He wasn't sure how he felt about that but it wasn't really an appropriate time to get territorial.

''I'll be right there,'' Cal hung up and Zoe raised her eyebrows at him.

''You can't drive and neither can I. We had wine remember?'' Zoe made a good point and Cal pinched the bridge of his nose. He was getting a headache and needed some sleep.

''I'll take a cab,'' Cal came up with a solution and Zoe nodded, she wanted her daughter home, this was too intense for someone of Emily's years.

''I'll stay and watch Johnny for you,'' Zoe suggested and Cal nodded, he knew that Johnny would hate the idea that Zoe was his babysitter but as he was asleep, he would be none the wiser.

''Okay luv, I shouldn't be too long,'' Cal dialled his cell.

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Johnny padded down to the kitchen, stretching and yawning all the way. He ached and his head was thumping, maybe a drink would help?

He pulled open the fridge and extracted a carton of juice which he raised to his lips, he drank long and hard. He burped and slammed the fridge door shut, he was stunned to find Zoe looking at him over the edge of a wine glass.

''Use a glass,'' she said as she put it down. Johnny rankled, who the hell was she to tell him what to do?

''No, I don't have to if I don't want to. Where's my dad?'' he snarled back and Zoe fixed him with a hard glare that made his stomach flip with nerves.

''Your father went to fetch your sister who is very upset because Bailey is badly injured. You do know that don't you?'' Zoe forgot he was a child, to her he was a painful reminder of her dysfunctional marriage, this child was strictly speaking a living and breathing reminder of her husband's infidelity.

''Yes, I do know that,'' Johnny slammed the juice down on the counter and stared sullenly at her.

''Do you feel any remorse at all?'' Zoe asked, her conscience told her this was wrong but she couldn't stop herself. Johnny was the main obstacle to her achieving her goal and Zoe was very target driven. She had to get him to respect her, she knew he would never fall for her being nice to him so she chose the option of browbeating instead.

''Yes, I do and I am sorry but it was an accident. I didn't mean for him to get hurt. Why are you here? Why are you always here?'' Johnny made it clear that he wasn't about to rollover just because she wanted him to.

''Your father and I... well's it's complicated,'' Zoe shied away from actually saying it, Cal would most definitely not like it if she did.

''You're shagging him right?'' Johnny was belligerent and although he didn't understand the bizarre relationship his father engaged in with this woman, he did know he hated her with a passion.

''You are too young to say that to me. I am pretty sure your dad has hot sauce in the cabinet so unless you want me to put some on your tongue, I would apologize if I were you,'' Zoe met the challenge head on. She intended to be this boy's step mother and she began as she meant to go on.

''I won't apologize to you. I hate you, you're a right old cow you are. You and my dad are supposed to be divorced, why don't you just piss off and leave us alone? You're mucking everything up, just go away,'' Johnny retorted and Zoe's face reddened.

''I will speak to your dad if you're not careful,'' she said and Johnny started to laugh.

''Oooh, I'm so scared! Is that all you've got, you're pathetic do you know that?'' Johnny was enjoying fighting with her, he'd held his tongue but now he was going to say what he wanted. His dad wasn't here and she was his for the taking!

XyXyXyXy

''How are you darlin'?'' Cal stroked some hair from Emily's face as she put her head on his shoulder.

''He is going to be alright isn't he dad?'' Emily asked in hushed tones. Cal took a moment, he didn't want to make any false promises.

''Gonna have to wait and see Em. That's all we can do,'' Cal said what he could and Emily sighed.

'' I love him dad, I love him so much that it hurts,'' Emily opened up and Cal ached for her, first love was hard enough without the intensity of life threatening injuries being added to the mix.

''I know you do luv. He's a good boy and he's also a very lucky one to have you,'' Cal admitted his own mistake in his own inimitable way.

''Do you really mean that?'' Emily raised her head in surprise and Cal chuckled.

''Your old dad admitting he was wrong, I know shocking but I was wrong about Bailey, Em and I'm sorry,'' Cal was the bigger person and Emily looked genuinely touched.

'' What changed your mind apart from feeling sorry for him?'' Emily was curious.

''Looks after his mum doesn't he? In my book that makes the kid a saint and his mum, she's alright too. I like her,'' Cal relished these moments with his daughter and they had been so rare as to be almost extinct recently.

''Yeah he does. She's great isn't she? Don't know why he kept her a secret,'' Emily put her head back on Cal's shoulder and he placed his hand against her cheek.

''Complicated luv. You should let him explain,'' Cal exerted some gentle pressure, advocating restraint.

''I will dad, I get it,'' Emily showed that she was maturing into a very decent human being.

They rode in silence and then Emily asked an awkward question.

'' What's the deal with you and mom, dad?'' she asked nervously and Cal had to suppress a groan, he should have know this was coming but he was still ill-prepared.

''Your mother finds me irresistible Em, you know that,'' Cal tried to dodge the question with flippancy but Emily wouldn't fall for that. Cal would have been disappointed if she had.

''Dad, come on. What's going on?'' Emily persisted.

''I'm not sure Em. But you know how we are, I don't think there's room for anyone else that's the problem,'' Cal was honest and Emily sighed.

''You're a train wreck together dad, you know that,'' Emily wasn't sure she could go through this again and she knew her little brother couldn't.

''Trouble is Em, we're not much better apart are we?'' Cal admitted to himself as much as Emily.

''What about Gillian, dad?'' Emily was full of difficult questions and Cal didn't know what to say to that. He loved Gillian but Zoe was ingrained in him and he didn't what to do about that. Yes, she drove him crazy but she was as much a part of his life as Emily and no other woman would put up with that, it was an unsavoury truth but a truth nonetheless.

''What about her luv? We're partners,'' Cal replied disingenuously.

''Oh dad, come on. Johnny will flip out,'' Emily reminded Cal of another difficult aspect.

''Oh look, we're home,'' Cal ducked and dived as was his way. He jumped from the cab, leaning into the window to pay the driver so he didn't have to face Emily.

When he turned, she was already walking up the driveway, her shoulders slumped. Cal trotted after her, slinging his arm around her shoulder. He pecked her on the cheek.

''Em, don't worry about all that complicated crap with me and your mum, just focus on Bailey. You have enough to worry about. We will support you all the way, you know that,'' Cal pulled out his naturally paternalistic attitude and for once Emily appreciated it.

''Thanks dad, I love you,'' Emily whispered and Cal grinned.

''Love you too Em,'' he squeezed her and then let go to open the front door.

The yelling from within blasted them both in the face before they had even stepped over the threshold.

''Not sure that don't worry advice is gonna work real well dad,'' Emily raised her eyebrows and Cal grimaced before striding down the hallway into the kitchen.

''Fuck off. You can't tell me what to do so just fuck off,'' Johnny was raging from behind the kitchen counter and Zoe was standing with a face like stone whilst he vented at her.

''What did you just say?'' Cal's disbelieving enquiry rendered Johnny silent and he looked instantly at his feet.

''Zo?'' Cal looked at his ex-wife who threw up her arms in despair.

''I told him to go to bed and he started yelling at me. You heard how he spoke to me, what do you want me to say?'' Zoe was incredulous that a child of such tender years was capable of speaking to an adult that way.

''That wasn't how it was. She was ordering me around and being well bossy, she can't do that,'' Johnny defended himself but Cal was too tired to hear it.

''Boyzy, you don't get to speak to her like that. Apologize now!'' Cal was much more short- tempered than he would normally be, he usually took a moment of consideration as he read those around him but in this instance he was too personally involved to be that detached.

''No I fucking won't! I hate her! Make her leave dad, make her go away. I want her to go away!'' Johnny's age came into play and he articulated his distress badly. He came off sounding like a spoilt brat.

''Johnny, pack it in now. You're doing my head in. Apologize and don't even think about swearing at me again!'' Cal snapped, weariness clouding his judgement.

Cal glanced at Emily who was standing with a rabbit in the headlights expression, her eyes shining with unshed tears and it intensified Cal's impatience.

''No, I bloody well won't. She can piss off and so can you. What is she doing here? I thought you were divorced, what is it some kind of special divorce when you live in different houses but still shag when you feel like it? Like a mates with benefits thing?'' Johnny spouted forth and it was ill advised especially when Emily let out a hurt gasp, embarrassed by her brother's indiscretion, this wasn't something any of them admitted out loud.

''You son, are gonna get a bloody good hiding if you don't apologize. Do as you're told and don't speak to me like that,'' Cal felt like his own father had taken control of his body and they were definitely not the words he meant to say. Emily's distress was cutting through him like a knife and Johnny's rant made him lose control.

''Yeah right, you fucking touch me and I'll call Child Services,'' Johnny's words were the straw that broke the camel's back. Cal didn't suffer threats, if anything they just encouraged him.

''Your son has the foulest mouth I have ever heard. Are you going to put up with that? He's twelve years old for god's sake!'' Zoe chose that moment to say something and it was like a flame to touch paper.

''You're right. He is twelve which means I am well within my rights to do this,'' Cal stepped forward, grabbed Johnny's arm and smacked him several times on the backside before letting him go. He was restrained but applied enough force to elicit a yelp of surprise and then delayed pain from his son.

''Ow! You can't do that! I hate you and I soddin' well hate her too!'' Johnny ran from the room, his face red and his eyes glistening with tears. The sound of him stomping up the stairs and then slamming his bedroom door off its hinges echoed around the house.

''Dad, you shouldn't have done that. He's gonna be real upset with you,'' Emily said and Cal felt guilt settle heavily although annoyance made him defensive.

''Emily, did you hear him? Are you okay with him speaking to your mother like that?'' Cal was a bit of traditionalist underneath the bravado, he had such a disrupted childhood himself that he made every possible effort to make life far more stable for his own children.

He checked their homework, they both had curfews and in the case of Johnny, a bedtime which was a constant bone of contention. Part and parcel of that approach was that Cal had definite expectations about how his children treated adults even idiot adults. Cal was happy for them to call them idiots as long as they were polite when they did it. Johnny had just been about as far from polite as it was possible to get.

''He was upset dad. You can't do this to him, I'm older and it confuses the hell out of me sometimes. How do you think he feels? He doesn't understand this crazy set up you two have going and I don't blame him. You guys have to make up your minds and stick to it. You're supposed to be the grownups, try acting that way for once. I'm going to bed, goodnight,'' Emily left leaving Cal and Zoe caught between a rock and a hard place.

XyXyXyXy

Johnny didn't even think twice about what he did next. He hated Zoe, his dad had chosen her over him and Emily's boyfriend was half dead because of what he did so she had to hate him as well, right?

Johnny was hurting, internally he was in turmoil and externally he was smarting. Johnny was a very unhappy little boy.

There was only one person Johnny wanted and he was determined to go see her. He was realistic enough to know that Cal would issue an outright no if he asked such a thing so Johnny took matters into his own hands, it was hardly the first time!

He clambered onto the trellis outside his window with little effort and climbed down. Then, he disappeared down the dark street in the blink of an eye.

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I think we all know who he's going to but there may well be a surprise waiting when he gets there!


	9. Chapter 9 The Hurting

Thanks for the reviews. This continues to be angsty although often the pain is required to appreciate the pleasure when it comes along. It was never going to be simple or straight forward not with these characters!

Laters S X

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Johnny crept to Gillian's kitchen window and crouched down listening intently. The murmur of distant voices was difficult to make sense of, so he crawled to the patio doors. From there he could clearly hear the earnest conversation taking place within the house.

''Gillian, Lightman will not care. He is self centred and selfish, you know this better than me,'' Johnny recognised Reynolds's voice and he frowned, what was he doing here?

''I disagree, he will care. He has been deprived of one child, he won't want that to happen again. I am not worried about Cal's commitment to his children, it's whether I want to stay here and deal with him on a day to day basis or if I leave and raise this child alone,'' Gillian's words stunned Johnny and he stopped stock still. What child? Had his suspicion at the hospital been right?

''I thought you two had figured this out. I have to admit much as it kills me that you are a good couple and you were doing a good job with the kid, before today anyway,'' Reynolds countered and Johnny knew exactly what Gillian would be doing. She would consider his words carefully, Gillian listened, it was what she did better than anything.

''Its Zoe isn't it?'' Johnny just about heard him and anger burst in the young boy's chest, he knew it. Zoe was ruining everything! Just as Johnny was going to get his heart's desire it was about to slip through his fingers.

''It will always be Zoe, she is always be his first consideration apart from the children. I can't be second best, I will never be a man's second choice again,'' Gillian admitted.

''What about Johnny, Gillian? That boy loves you and you love him back don't you? Admit it, when you thought he was hurt, you didn't think twice, you went to him because he needed you,'' Reynolds became Johnny's favourite person in the whole world bar Gillian.

Johnny didn't know what to make of the silence that greeted Reynolds's questions.

''Can you leave him?'' Reynolds pushed harder.

''I'm not sure, I don't want to but I may have to. I can't watch Cal with Zoe, I've endured it for a long time now and I don't think I can turn a blind eye any longer,'' Gillian's words were barely more than a whisper and Johnny was pole axed. She was leaving, she was actually considering leaving.

''It will mess him up big time Gillian. He's already lost one mother, can you do that to him again?'' Reynolds argued Johnny's side very well and Johnny was happy to let him for now.

''No, I can't bear it but I have another child to consider now don't I?'' Gillian confirmed it beyond doubt, Johnny was overwhelmed. He wasn't at all sure how he felt about a younger sibling. He didn't want to have compete even more for his dad's attention, Emily was bad enough.

''Yes, but if you decide to leave, how will you feel? Is it really in the best interest's of this child to have a mother pining, grieving for people she loves, people she walked away from?'' Reynolds was a complicated man, Johnny couldn't figure out his angle. In his limited experience everyone had an angle, it was a sad reflection of Johnny's life experience that he thought that way.

''I know that and I have a lot to think about. That's why I'm not rushing into this but in the end I may have to leave Johnny behind, even if it's the last thing I want to do,'' Gillian sounded so sad and bereft that Johnny couldn't control himself any longer.

''No, you don't. I could go with you, please take me with you. I love you Gillian, don't leave me please,'' Johnny rendered both adults speechless as he stepped into the room.

XyXyXyXy

''I don't approve of spanking you know that,'' Zoe said rather belatedly and Cal sighed.

''Now you bloody tell me. I got the impression that you would have provided the cheering section if I had hung, drawn and quartered him,'' Cal snapped bitterly as he poured himself a glass of much needed wine.

''Cal, don't be so factitious,'' Zoe snapped.

''I am not being factitious. I reacted that way because you were being so bloody precious. If you didn't want me to do anything then why did you goad me?'' Cal was sick of her casting aspersions on his parenting skills, he joked about this with Foster but with Zoe, there were very real ramifications.

''I thought you would speak to him not hit him,'' Zoe replied coldly and Cal didn't trust himself to reply immediately.

In truth, he was disappointed in himself but he had to face the fact that his son could make him lose his temper like no one else. Even Emily wasn't so proficient at winding Cal up. Cal didn't even want to think about the fact that every book or study on child rearing book he'd ever read would condemn him for his actions and warn of all kinds of long term effects on his child's future well being. Cal comforted himself that even Gillian would agree that it was a minor indiscretion that was unlikely to damage Johnny for life. Despite that fact Cal felt as guilty as hell.

''Okay so hit is a very emotive word but you know that don't you?'' Cal couldn't help be aggravated with himself, why couldn't he just walk away from this woman? His life would be so much simpler if he could. He knew that he should choose Gillian, deep down he longed for her and the happy ending she offered but somehow Zoe was an itch that he couldn't scratch however hard he tried.

''If we are going to do this Cal then we must have ground rules which includes how we deal with the children, in particular Johnny,'' Zoe made some huge presumptions and Cal couldn't reply for a moment.

''He is your son, I know that but it is important that we present a united front,'' Zoe continued, not heeding the warning of Cal's silence.

''Is that right? A united front? How does that sit with the fact that you resent my twelve year old son and every time you look at him, you see his mother who you hate with an intensity that's pretty impressive? How is that gonna work exactly? '' Cal gave that smug, knowing look of his that made Zoe want to beat him to a pulp.

''I thought we were discussing my dislike of physical punishment?'' Zoe refused to be provoked by him.

Cal laughed caustically and shook his finger at her.

''You're cute luv, cute but dishonest and remember I do this for a living so I know what is behind what you just said. For instance, I know, you couldn't care less that I smacked Johnny, but you are pissed as hell that he's not falling into line. Me, on the other hand care a lot that I smacked him. So with that in mind, I'm going to make sure he's alright,'' Cal walked from the room leaving a bemused Zoe behind him.

''I thought we were gonna be grownups about this?'' she called spitefully after him.

XyXyXyxy

Gillian looked helplessly at Reynolds who shrugged, he didn't know how to deal with this?

''Johnny sweetheart, why are you here? Does your father know you left the house?'' Gillian asked the first thing that came into her head. She could just imagine Cal's panic when he realised his twelve year old son was wandering the streets with a possible concussion

''That doesn't matter. Don't leave Gillian, please just don't leave,'' Johnny threw his arms around her and held on tight. Gillian resisted for a split second then she returned the embrace. Reynolds caught her anguished eye and pulled a regretful grimace, this was not as easy as she had tried to pretend. He had known that and now Gillian had no choice other than to face the unpalatable fact that she was not a free agent, she had invested and allowed this child to trust her, to love her like a mother. The deal was done and it was a deep bond that could not be easily broken on either side.

Johnny pulled away and looked up at her with a tear stained face.

''Oh Johnny,'' Gillian acknowledged his distress and stroked the hair from his eyes.

''I need you, please I need you,'' Johnny whispered and Gillian froze, stunned by the raw emotion in that plea.

''I'm not going anywhere Johnny and I will not leave you do you hear me? I won't,'' Gillian made a promise from the heart, one she knew she couldn't break, come hell or high water. She knew that Cal was going to reconcile with Zoe, it was as inevitable as the sun rising the next morning but for this boy, she would endure that pain. For him she would make the sacrifice because she loved him every bit as much as the child currently growing inside her.

Johnny fixed her with intense eyes, the sadness she saw there made the breath catch in her throat.

''You're not going to be with my dad are you?'' Johnny blinked, the tears that had gathered in his lashes flowed gently onto his cheeks as he took a deep, stuttering breath.

''No honey, I'm not,'' Gillian placed a gentle hand on his flushed face and he nodded, looking down to the floor, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

Gillian looked again at Reynolds who shifted awkwardly, he felt like an intruder in this most private of moments.

''Ben, will you call Cal please?'' she asked softly and Johnny's head shot up, he pulled himself abruptly away from her and wrapped his arms around himself.

''Don't, I don't want him. Please, please,'' Johnny began to cry again and Gillian frowned, disturbed by the intensity of his reaction.

''Johnny, he'll be worried,'' she said as Reynolds disappeared into the other room.

''I don't care and he won't. All he gives a shit about is her and Em, he hates me Gillian and I mean he really hates me,'' Johnny became defensive and hugged himself even tighter still.

''So you hate him right back huh?'' Gillian's psychological intellect appeared and Johnny nodded his head, his affirmation less than convincing.

''I .. It's her. When it's just me and him, he's like he always is but when she turns up, he changes. It's like she puts him under a spell and he gets all aggro with me,'' Johnny sniffed loudly and Gillian had to dig deep to find the will to defend a union that caused her so much pain

''He loves you Johnny and you have to try and get on with Zoe. Your father loves her, '' she said and Johnny's eyes shone with betrayal, betrayal that cut Gillian to the core.

''Why do I? I can't, she looks at me like I'm dirt and she doesn't want me there. She wants it to be just the three of them, like before,'' Johnny articulated what Gillian knew was the truth.

''Johnny sweetheart, you belong with your dad,'' she replied, hating herself but for this boy's own good, she had to do the right thing however much it hurt.

''Do I? I managed for twelve years without him, I can get on alright without him. I can, honest,'' Johnny protested and Gillian tipped her head.

''Johnny,'' she said softly and Johnny's face filled with anguish.

''I want both of you. Why can't I have both of you?'' Johnny's voice rose in pitch.

'' I'm sorry but this is how it has to be, sweetheart. Sometimes we can't always have everything we want,'' Gillian replied. Isn't that the truth? An anguished voice said in her head.

Johnny sighed deeply.

''What about the baby?'' Johnny managed to totally blindside her and she stared at him in horror.

''You're not gonna tell him are you? Don't you think he'll notice eventually?'' Johnny said bitterly and Gillian found her voice again.

''You have to keep that a secret. For me, you have to,'' Gillian broke every rule in the book and played on his loyalty. There it was again, the sadness but this time it was tinged by disappointment.

There was a tense silence as their eyes locked and then Johnny nodded.

''Thank you, Johnny. I will tell your dad when I'm ready okay?'' Gillian tried to repair the damage but it was clear that Johnny now regarded her as seriously wanting, just like every other adult in his life.

''I don't care,'' Johnny shrugged and slumped down on the couch.

''Lightman will be here in about twenty minutes and I have to say kid, he didn't sound too happy,'' Reynolds chose the wrong moment to reappear.

''Tell someone who gives a shit,'' Johnny mumbled as he picked up the remote and clicked on the TV.

Gillian tried to take it from his hand but he aggressively pulled it from her reach without taking his eyes from the screen.


	10. Chapter 10 Sorry the Lightman Way!

Had a touch of writers block on this to be honest but I'm hoping that has passed now. It was only case related so I have found a way round that which I hope you won't mind.

Breaking a rule of mine here but can't really help it. I am using the episode 'React to Contact' as my case mainly as I think there was so many hints and suggestions about Cal's background that I can't help explore them plus it takes the pressure off as I focus on the family issues ( I have no writers block with those!). It just provides such a perfect platform for where they are all at in this fic.

Anyway I hope you are okay with it plus it also provides Johnny with a new playmate around the offices for a while. I was quite unsettled by Cal's body language around Jake which gave me the idea to include that storyline. Don't worry, it won't just be a regurgitation, it will be my take with my AU characters and with loads of additional scenes so I think it will come out very different!

Let me know what you think, S. X

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''Hello,'' Cal said from the doorway and Gillian glanced anxiously at Johnny, who continued to stare at the TV screen, before smiling tightly.

''Cal, how are you? How's Em?'' Gillian covered her anxiety with questions.

''She's upset Gill but we're gonna have to wait and see. Bailey is still in a bad way,'' Cal replied quietly, his normal confidence missing. Foster stopped looking suspiciously at him, why was he behaving so meekly, it was so out of character and unsettled her, reawakening her worries.

Johnny looked up at the mention of Bailey's name but then reverted to staring mindlessly at the TV.

''I'm going to go,'' Reynolds beat a hasty retreat, he ruffled Johnny's hair, placed a chaste kiss on Foster's cheek before shrugging on his coat.

''Thank you Ben,'' Foster said as she hugged herself with her arms.

''No problem, bye,'' Reynolds waved and made for the door where Cal was leaning against the frame as if waiting to be invited in.

Cal stopped him in his tracks by holding out his hand.

''Thanks Ben for looking after my family. I really appreciate it,'' Cal smiled but no one in the room missed the message, Cal was marking his territory. Reynolds paused and then shook the offered hand.

''I have a question though,'' Cal said cocking his head to one side as he regarded the FBI agent who glanced nervously at Foster.

''Stomach flu, is that usually a hospital kind of thing?'' Cal was casual and Foster looked sharply at Reynolds. She had been under the impression that Reynolds had not called Cal but then she remembered him asking her how she was when she arrived to see Johnny.

''It wasn't me. He just turned up,'' Reynolds tried to defend himself. It had in fact been Torres but Cal chose not to say so. What he was seeing was interesting, very interesting. Then Foster looked at Johnny anxiously who did what he always did when he was being deceitful, he covered it like a professional.

Cal looked between the three of them with his inane, slightly ridiculous cockiness but the silence remained.

''I have personal, female problems which I would really rather not discuss,'' Foster said stiffly, it was too little, far too late. Johnny was chewing his lip whilst looking at his father with eyes that willed him to drop this.

''Something you want say to me, son?'' Cal raised his eyebrows and Johnny scowled. Cal, to Foster's surprise, took quick pre emptive action, cutting Johnny off before he let rip.

''No, good. Let's leave it that way shall we? Don't want you pissing me off again. Not when I'm here to make amends after all,'' Cal controlled himself, he had allowed himself to be distracted from his real purpose. This could wait, it wasn't appropriate to involve Johnny any further anyway.

''What?'' Johnny frowned and Reynolds cleared his throat, Foster nodded and the FBI agent actually left this time.

There was silence again broken only by the sound of the front door slamming. Cal looked speculatively at Johnny, who was jumpy as hell, and then Foster.

''Don't worry about it boyzy, grown up stuff. Not for you, you need to start concentrating on football and homework more,'' Cal moved to protect his child, Foster saw it for what it was but Johnny didn't, he thought Cal was patronising him.

''Yeah right, whatever,'' Johnny snorted and glared at his father. He was happy to change the subject but that didn't stop him reacting defensively. He was pretty sure his dad was about to launch into him again and he wasn't about to take it lying down.

''Johnny's upset. It's been a long night,'' Foster was bitterly regretting her decision, she should never have asked Johnny to lie for her, it was unacceptable but she had acted out of panic.

''Yeah it has,'' Cal finally stepped into the room, he ran his hand through his hair and looked wearily at his brooding son.

''Sorry Jono, should never have happened and I'm sorry,'' Cal didn't do apologising and Foster became alarmed, there was something here she was unaware of.

Johnny stared at Cal as if he had lost his mind and Cal dug his hands deep into his pockets, his face set with his usual confident smirk but Johnny saw something else, a lurking vulnerability, his dad really meant it, he was sorry.

''I shouldn't have sworn at you so I'm sorry as well,'' Johnny accepted the olive branch, he was tired and he wanted his dad back, needed the security he found with him.

''No, that's true so don't do that again. I can't promise that I won't ever smack you again cos I probably will but this time, this time I was out of order,'' Cal compromised and Johnny nodded.

Gillian groaned to herself, she should have guessed what had happened, Cal had been so wound up and Johnny hadn't been much better.

''I don't like her dad, I tried to for you and Em but I don't. She's mean to me dad, you don't see it but she is,'' Johnny spoke gruffly, as if close to tears and he didn't look directly at his father.

''I know and I'm sorry. It was a big ask, too big. I thought it was a good idea, it wasn't,'' Cal's voice was full of regret and Foster wondered what had provoked such a change in direction. She had been so sure that Zoe had been about to become Cal's significant other again but his demeanour now suggested otherwise.

''Are you still angry?'' Johnny finally looked at Cal who shook his head.

''Not with you, son, not exactly thrilled with myself but no, I am definitely not angry with you,'' Cal gave him a hopeful smile and Johnny nodded, his face still strained but there was a trace of relief.

''I s'pose we should go home then,'' Johnny stood and looked uncertainly at Foster.

''Cal, could Johnny and I have a few minutes please,'' Foster made a decision, she had to make this right again.

''It's alright, you don't need to,'' Johnny plainly thought she was going to browbeat him, to ensure his silence. Foster stared at him and he smiled awkwardly, his eyes dulled and hurt.

''I understand Gill, honest I do. You don't have to say anything else. I get it,'' Johnny's face was strained, as if he could stand no more so Foster nodded stiffly. Her apology would have to wait, she was stuck with the guilt for now.

''What do you understand?'' Cal looked suspiciously between them and Johnny looked at Foster to answer for him.

''I asked him to do something for me and I shouldn't have. I was going to tell him that,'' Foster was honest, as with Cal if she was anything else he would know.

''What did you ask him to do?'' Cal asked and Johnny reacted quickly.

''It's none of your business,'' he said, jutting his chin out defiantly for good measure. Cal experienced a flash of temper again, he was full of good intentions but Johnny pushed his buttons like no one else.

''I wasn't talking to you son, be quiet okay?'' Cal said softly and Foster read him like a book, he was annoyed so she did what she always did, she attempted to pacify him.

'' Cal, it was private, just between me and Johnny. Could you please respect that?'' Foster didn't hold out much hope but tried anyway.

''Mmmm, that didn't go so well last time did it?'' Cal referenced when Foster had kept Sophie's condition a secret from him and the catastrophic events that followed. She blushed but stayed silent , Cal's anger about that was justified, it had been a mistake on her part.

''Dad, back off okay?'' Johnny defended the woman he saw as his mother even though he was hurt by her actions. Cal shook his head.

''No, not this time. Not backing off but it can wait until tomorrow, we're all shattered. Come on son, home. Let's go,'' Cal waved an arm at Johnny who looked questioningly at Foster as if waiting for her permission.

'' I said home so do as you're told,'' Cal reverted to his usual brusque manner and Foster shot him a disapproving look. He was too hard on Johnny, always too hard and Foster thought she knew why. Cal saw too much of himself in his son and Foster suspected this was learned behaviour, this was how his father had treated him and so the cycle continued.

''Don't do that,'' Cal muttered and Foster was stunned to realise that he was objecting to her silent admonishment, as if it really bothered him, as if her opinion of him mattered. She looked at him and with a start she sighted the familiar lust and love lurking in the depths of his eyes, barely concealed.

''Sorry,'' Foster tried not to feel thrilled but failed. Cal gave her a crooked smile.

''Yeah, who knew?'' he said as their eyes met. The bond was undeniable, yes it had been tested and become strained but it was still very much intact. Cal's windows into his soul gave him away, just for the briefest of seconds and Foster's hand slipped subconsciously to her stomach as she felt hope reignite.

Johnny looked between them, his initial confusion giving way to an understanding of sorts, all was not lost here but it was far from a done deal. He picked up his hoddie, it was time to go quietly.

''Night Gill, sorry,'' He said softly as he placed a kiss on her cheek.

''No, I'm the one who is sorry,'' Gillian said catching his eye as he stepped away, Johnny nodded and a gentle forgiving smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

Cal watched all this with a sense of foreboding, secrets were afoot and he was most definitely out of the loop.

''Night Gill, see you in the morning,'' Cal winked at her as he placed an arm around Johnny. They walked away leaving a very thoughtful Foster behind them.

XyXyXyXyXyXy

Cal held his tongue during the car ride and Johnny went straight to bed when they got home. Cal stood staring out of the kitchen window, sipping a hot cup of tea. His answer phone was blinking furiously but he ignored it.

As he looked into the black, he was struck by longing, longing for the one woman he truly loved and trusted. A woman he had glimpsed happiness with and had now betrayed.

He frowned as a picture flashed in his head, Foster placing her hand protectively on her stomach and at that moment Cal knew for sure, his suspicion was now a certainty.

The flashing from the phone was irritating him so he banged it furiously as he faced the fact that he was going to be a father again and yet again, the woman carrying his child didn't trust him enough to tell him.

''_Cal, I need to see you. We can't carry on like this, I can't carry on like this. Yes, you are right, I have a problem with Johnny but for you I am prepared to work it through. We have to make a decision Cal, I can't live day to day anymore. I want more children and my time is running out. Meet me at Sorrentos at 1 tomorrow,''_ Zoe sounded on the edge of hysterics and Cal covered his face with his hands. This was such a mess, how had he made such a monumental mess of this?

XyXyXyXyXy

''Are you going to the hospital?'' Johnny asked Emily who was staring down at the piece of toast on her plate with ill disguised disgust.

''Yeah, I am,'' Emily looked up, her eyes sad and haunted. Johnny flinched, he had put that look there.

''Sorry Em,'' he said, he pushed his bowl away and buried his head in his arms.

''Johnny,'' Emily tapped his head gently and he looked up at her.

''It wasn't your fault Jono, it was an accident and Bailey is much older than you. So am I, if anyone's to blame, it's us,'' Emily totally believed this and she was not sitting by watching her baby brother torture himself over her shortcomings.

Johnny didn't move, he just looked doubtfully at her.

''What?'' Emily could see he wanted to say something.

''Your mum thinks it's my fault,'' Johnny found his voice and Emily rolled her eyes.

''My mom was upset and she does that, she says dumb things without thinking,'' Emily knew she should defend her mother but she had done a number on Johnny so Emily wasn't very happy with her.

''What's the deal Em? Is she moving in?'' Johnny asked and Emily took a second too long to answer.

''No, of course she isn't,'' Emily didn't really know. She had witnessed her parent's ridiculous dalliance over the years with resigned indulgence as if they were naughty children but it felt different this time.

''You don't believe that,'' Johnny collapsed his head again and buried deep down, smothering his ears so he couldn't hear Emily's protests.

''Oi! Oi! Boyzy, playing ostrich again is he?'' Cal strolled in and the swagger had returned, he appeared almost cheerful.

''You know he does that when he's upset, he's freaking out about mom, dad and I don't blame him. Can you guys please make a decision and stick to it? Johnny's gonna be in therapy for years if you're not careful,'' Emily scolded Cal who sat down next to Johnny. He peered curiously into the huddle but Johnny turned his head away from him

''Still alive then?'' Cal grinned as he ruffled his son's golden hair and ignored his daughter's words. Cal was very aware that Johnny was well, he had checked him at least a dozen times through the night, not that he would admit it.

''Did you hear me?'' Emily asked again and Cal shrugged.

''Why haven't you got your school uniform on?'' Cal changed the subject and Emily blinked in surprise at him.

''I'm going to the hospital dad,'' she replied as if he was stupid.

''Oh no Em, I don't think so. You are not sitting for hours at his bedside. His mum is there and she will call you if anything happens,'' Cal put his daughter's welfare first.

''Dad!'' Emily looked appalled and Johnny turned his head back, opening one eye to watch them.

''Okay, okay, we'll make a deal. Go to school for the morning and spend the afternoon at the hospital,'' Cal held some toast out to Johnny who shook his head.

''But dad,'' Emily didn't just accept it but Cal didn't rise to the bait. He sat back and stretched, placing his hands behind his neck.

''Em, this could go on for a while and you can't miss that much school. You know you can't and Bailey wouldn't want you to would he?'' Cal was reason personified and Emily had little choice other than to agree.

''Okay,'' she said reluctantly, she had an important test that morning so she was relieved that Cal had pulled rank on her.

Her college dreams had been reawakened, finding out from Marie that Bailey had been an A student and the only reason he hadn't been to college was so he could take care of her had changed Emily's perspective completely.

''Go get ready and I'll drive you,'' Cal suggested and Emily nodded, she scooted away. Cal regarded his other problem, who had closed his eyes now the fun of a fight between his dad and sister had failed to materialise.

Cal threw his half eaten piece of toast at him but Johnny ignored the childish gesture.

''What are we gonna do with you?'' Cal put his face down to Johnny's level and flicked his nose.

''Sod off dad,'' Johnny pushed his hand irritably away.

''No can do boyzy, you need to go and get dressed. You're coming to work with me,'' Cal imparted the good news and Johnny groaned, sitting up with a frown.

''Don't blame me, you got suspended and I can't trust you can I? So go on, scarper and be quick about it,'' Cal sat back as Johnny dragged himself from the chair.

Cal grinned to himself and grabbed another piece of toast.

XyXyXyXyX

Johnny dawdled along behind Cal and Foster as they walked through the hospital whilst some Colonel called Powler talked to them about one of his crazy soldiers. Johnny had been going to stay with Torres and Loker but Cal got cold feet after the disastrious last time Loker had been babysitting.

''I think someone should say it, sounds a lot like PTSD,'' Cal said as they went through the locked gate.

''Go sit and don't move,'' Cal said to Johnny who didn't even look up from the DS in his hand. As a result, he almost walked into the kid approaching his dad. They exchanged curious looks before circling each other the way unfamiliar kids do.

Johnny sat down and watched the boy speak to Cal, Johnny frowned as he saw awkwardness and edginess enter Cal's body language. He shrugged and returned to his DS, his dad was always like that around boys, his dad was all about the girl, boys unnerved him. Johnny knew that even included him, for a brief second he wondered why but then he lost interest and returned to his game.


	11. Chapter 11 Little Monsters!

Thanks for all the lovely reviews, you are obviously enjoying this as much as I am. Special thanks to my faithful reviewers, hotforteacher and franella especially Chels who has been loyal forever now. Really encouraging so thank you. A special mention to HeidiP who wrote her own version of what she thought might happen. Brilliant review, really loving that, gave me some ideas. Anyone else care to do the same, I would be very interested in their take.

I know that some writers mail individual reviewers but I don't have that much spare time, what I have I like to devote to writing so I hope you understand

This is a long chapter, hope you don't mind but its writing itself. Let me know what you think, I have developed the original plot on the show further. There were lots of hidden suggestions which I am exploring here, there is a chance it may bear little resemblence once I am done. We will see.

Enjoy!

XyXyXyXy

Cal was in his element, he was happy to immerse himself in work and he even managed to forget about Gillian's condition. She for her part was also similarly involved and apart from some slightly off the wall behaviour from Cal first thing, everything seemed as it should.

Cal was on a roll, he'd charmed the DA into letting him use the magnet and now he was interrogating Turley in his own eccentric way. He deliberately provoked him when he mentioned his boy and his reaction was probably the most normal behaviour Cal saw.

''Be careful Cal,'' Foster followed him as he strode away.

''I'm having tea, you want some?'' Cal asked turning with a smile and then resuming his walk. He made tea and strolled casually to his office as Foster followed him around impatiently trying to get him to engage in a constructive conversation regarding him toning down his interview techniques with Turley. Foster was worried he was too fragile for Cal's fun and games but she might as well have been talking to herself.

''Cal, you're avoiding me, stop it,'' Foster didn't give up as they walked into the office.

''No, I'm not love. How am I doing that?'' Cal munched on a biscuit and then held his hands up as Foster crossed her arms.

''What is wrong with this picture?'' he asked suddenly and Foster looked around with an exasperated sigh.

''Cal, do we always have to play games? '' Foster couldn't see a problem.

''Becky wants Foster to go with them, the Sergeant doesn't like you much. I wonder why?'' Torres strode in.

''Yeah well, getting the truth doesn't usually make anyone popular,'' Cal was nonchalant and he raised his eyebrows at Foster flicking his arms at her and she gave a slight shrug, shaking her head.

''What?'' she asked.

''Blimey, some mum you're gonna be. Smallish boy, blonde hair, big mouth, can you see one of those around here?'' Cal asked again and Foster frowned, not sure she'd heard the first part of what he'd said correctly.

''Oh Johnny's down the hallway with Jake, they're playing,'' Torres supplied the information.

''Are they? Right, gonna need to break that up,'' Cal was off again with Foster on his tail.

''Why? They can entertain each other,'' Foster pointed out and Cal laughed, throwing a mocking glance at her over his shoulder.

''That's the problem love, small boys together, they break things, make a mess, spill coke on expensive computers, wreak havoc, that sorta of thing. Much easier to control on their own,'' Cal explained and Foster laughed.

''Cal, they are not monsters,'' Foster stopped dead whilst Cal looked back at her with a smug look on his face.

''Right, how much did that table cost again?'' he asked and Foster exhaled in exasperation.

Johnny was standing with a ball at his feet, several pot plants were lying on their sides with dirt spilling across the floor whilst the coffee table that Foster had agonised over buying due to its extortionate price tag was serving as a make shift goal. Jake shuffled away from Cal watching him carefully, he didn't know what to make of this man so he was anxious about how he might react to their illicit game of soccer.

''We were having a kick around. We didn't break anything and we weren't bothering anyone,'' Johnny got in quickly.

''Give me that bloody thing,'' Cal snapped whilst he righted a plant pot. Becky appeared from the nearby lab and pulled a face when she saw the mess.

''Jake honey, come here. I'm sorry but boys will be boys won't they?'' Becky said and Cal grunted.

''See Foster boys will be boys. What was I just saying?'' Cal made Foster tut.

''I said give me the ball Jono so give me the bloody ball,'' Cal said again as he picked up another plant. ''And fix the table and go get a brush to clean this lot up. Go on,'' Cal held his hands out and Johnny used his foot to flick the ball at him, making Cal flinch as it almost hit his face. Johnny laughed and Jake sniggered too.

''Watch it,'' Cal pointed and Johnny circled him, watching him warily.

''Jake, come here and apologise,'' Becky said and Jake walked over to his mum, who put her arm around his shoulders.

''Sorry Doctor Lightman,'' Jake said confidently now he had his mother's support and Cal waved his apology away.

''No worries, I'm betting it was Johnny's idea right?'' Cal glowered at his son as he trotted past him, just out of arm's reach.

''He said that he's allowed to do whatever he likes here and he said that you're not as grouchy as you pretend. He said that you can be nice sometimes,'' Jake imparted and Foster had to hide a smile.

''Did he? Don't believe everything you're told Jake,'' Cal warned and Jake threw him a puzzled glance.

''I didn't know you had a son Doctor Lightman, you seem kinda jumpy around kids so I figured you didn't have any of your own,'' Becky said without thinking and Cal went very still before covering it.

''Yeah, I like kids but can't eat more than two at a time. Excuse me,'' Cal joked which elicited a nervous giggle out of Jake who wasn't that sure he was kidding. Foster had noticed that Cal's discomfort around small boys was particularly pronounced with Jake and she was curious why.

''Oi, what are you playing at? No football inside, you know that,'' Cal caught up with Johnny in one of the communal social rooms where he was staring at a cartoon on the TV instead of finding a brush. Cal turned it off and Johnny rolled his eyes before flashing Cal a hopeful smile.

''It's boring here dad, and I mean boring to the point of brain dead. Can I go across the street to the skate park please?'' Johnny pleaded but Cal shook his head just the way Johnny knew he would.

''No chance and you know why. You've been suspended from school and you've had a bang on the head. I'm saying no and I mean no. Go and clean up your mess. Oh and stay away from Jake as well,'' Cal said and Johnny frowned at him.

''Why? He's alright, he's little but he's not bad. He's obsessed with soldiers and wars but it's kinda cute that he thinks his dad is a big hero especially as he's obviously a loony,'' Johnny was baffled, he was just a little kid, what did Cal have against Jake?

''Pack that in as well. He is not a loony,'' Cal toed the politically correct line and Johnny smirked at him. Cal almost smiled back but then he wagged a scolding finger.

''He has been traumatised by the war and he deserves your respect so don't you dare say that to Jake. Got it?''Cal warned.

''Well I can't do that can I cos I'm not allowed to speak to him for some bizarre, wacko reason? Apparently it's not Jake who has the loony dad, it's me,'' Johnny pushed his luck just a little too far.

Cal picked up a dustpan and brush, shoved them in Johnny's hand and pushed him towards the door then he smacked him once on the backside, very hard. Cal reacted instinctively, Johnny was not Emily and he required a different approach, it was just a fact of life. Cal was very aware that he would have to suffer Foster's disapproval at his methods but Johnny would wreak havoc if he didn't make some attempt to discipline him.

''Ow, what was that for?'' Johnny came over all aggrieved as Cal took his arm, to further help him on his way. Johnny tried to pull away but Cal kept hold and the smack proved enough of a deterrent that Johnny did at least walk whilst he complained.

''Oh I don't know, wrecking my office, disrespecting war heroes, having a smart mouth, take your pick, one size fits all,'' Cal said calmly as he approached Foster who was waiting patiently with Becky.

''You said you wouldn't do that again,'' Johnny said sullenly.

''Ah no, I didn't. You weren't listening. I made a point of not making that promise as I knew I had sod all chance of keeping it. Now clean up,'' Cal smiled at Becky when he let go of Johnny who sloped sulkily away.

''Shall we go and take some pretty pictures then?'' Cal clapped his hands and Foster stopped herself from rolling her eyes. Johnny was doing as he was told and Foster knew that Cal was responsible for his son's sudden compliance. She didn't want to know how he'd managed it, she decided to enjoy the peace, it wouldn't last long, it never did.

''Behave yourself,'' Cal called over his shoulder as they exited. Johnny ignored him and continued to sweep up the stray dirt.

''My dad's gonna get a silver star,'' Jake came wandering over and Johnny looked up at him.

''I know, that's cool right?'' Johnny stood up.

''I can shoot a gun already. Ronnie showed me,'' Jake proclaimed proudly and Johnny just smiled and nodded.

''Did he?'' Johnny began to make his way to the nearest kitchen with Jake as his shadow.

''I've got a secret, do you want to see?'' Jake said but Johnny didn't hear him.

''You wanna go play on the roof, the roof is good,'' Johnny knew it was out of bounds but as there was no one to catch them, he couldn't see the harm and he was going stir crazy. He could skate on the roof.

''Are we allowed?''Jake asked uncertainly and Johnny shrugged.

''Yeah sure, stick with me and it'll be no problem,'' he replied nonchalantly.

XyXyXyXy

Foster was panicking, she couldn't be present for the MRI, there was a risk especially this early in pregnancy, it was more a hypothetical risk but as Foster had been waiting for most of her adult life for this child, she was not prepared to take any risk at all.

She paused at the doorway and cringed as the radiographer asked those present all the relevant questions, her answers would reveal her secret to all those present and she found herself tongue tied.

''Love, why don't you get us all some coffee?'' Cal held the door open and Foster looked at him, she was stunned and confused, her confusion was further compounded when Cal winked at her.

He knew, somehow he knew and Foster was pole axed by guilt, she should have trusted him, why hadn't she trusted him? Cal would not be happy that she showed such little faith in him. He would distance himself, she knew that was how he reacted when he was hurt and he would be hurt by this.

''This year would be good Gill,'' Cal's words took on an edge as the radiographer began to tap at a computer screen.

''Yes, that's a good idea. Coffee, I'll get some coffee,'' Foster was flustered as Cal watched her with amusement, did she have any idea how transparent she was? Becky glanced between them and her smile indicated that she had guessed what this charade was all about.

''Take your time,'' Cal said as a parting quip and their eyes met, confirming to Foster that Cal was exhibiting his normal protective attitude to one of his children.

It comforted her and as she walked down the corridor, she smiled happily to herself.

XyXyXyXyxy

''This is real high,'' Jake crawled to the roof edge and peeked down, his stomach dropping as he realised just how high.

''Yeah but you should stay away from that section, there's no wall. We'll go over here, don't wanna end up a gory blob on the pavement,'' Johnny waved him away and Jake jumped up to join him, relishing the attention of an older boy.

''What grade are you in?'' Jake fell into step beside Johnny as they walked to a safer area.

''Sixth, you?'' Johnny replied absentmindedly as he belatedly realised he had forgotten his helmet, considering his brain had already taken a knock recently, he probably couldn't afford to lose any more cells.

''Third,'' Jake sat down and opened his back pack which was a permanent fixture. It had not been security checked, Jake had been meticulous, storing it in the trunk of their car when they were at the hospital, just the way his dad had told him when he had given it to him. Jake was an army brat and knew evasion techniques.

Johnny shrugged, he would skate but be careful, no big stunts.

''What can I do?'' Jake whined and Johnny looked at him as if he had just remembered he was there.

''Play my DS, its got Call of Duty on it. You should enjoy that, war, your favourite thing,'' Johnny tossed him the game.

''War is an acceptable and responsible response to when National Security is threatened,'' Jake droned out like a robot and Johnny laughed.

''Your dad tell you that did he? Maybe he's right but it sure messes people up doesn't it?'' Johnny pointed out gently.

''Not my dad, my dad is not crazy! Take that back! He just gets scared that's all,'' Jake jumped to his feet, his hand curled into fists.

''Relax mate, I didn't say your dad was crazy. I'm the one who has the crazy dad,'' Johnny then did a pretty accurate impression of Cal's walk if a little exaggerated.

Jake laughed which was Johnny's intention.

''You look like Captain Jack Sparrow,'' Jake added and Johnny rolled his eyes.

''Don't tell my dad that, he'll think he looks like Johnny Depp and he has enough worries with the ladies,'' Johnny mocked and Jake sat down to concentrate on the game as he didn't understand Johnny's sub text.

Johnny checked he was settled and then took off, skating in an area surrounded by a small guard wall, it was like his own little park.

Johnny lost himself and it was a good twenty minutes before he came back to check Jake was okay.

He stopped stock still with shock when he sighted the small boy who was holding a revolver in his hand, turning it over and stroking it lovingly.

''That's a toy right?'' Johnny asked in a strangled voice and Jake looked up at him with alarmed eyes.

''You can't tell, don't tell. It's for my dad, I'm doing it for my dad so he can keep us safe! He gets scared!'' Jake's pitch went up and he was waving the gun around. Johnny flinched and weaved his head in a ridiculously inadequate gesture to avoid potential harm.

''Whoa Jakey, chill okay?'' Johnny approached him slowly, his hand out in a calming motion and Jake blinked at him before giggling.

''You're scared, you wuss,'' he said with some delight and Johnny didn't deny it, bloody right he was scared, he wasn't stupid.

''Put it away okay?'' Johnny begged and Jake rolled his eyes.

''It has the safety on. Don't you know anything about arms at all?'' Jake said with contempt and Johnny shrugged.

''I know they hurt people, don't need to know much more do you?'' Johnny was relieved when Jake dropped his arm although he still might blow his own leg off.

''Guns are only dangerous in the hands of idiots who don't know how to use them,'' Jake proclaimed proudly and Johnny grimaced.

''Another of your dad's thoughts?'' Johnny began to think that not only was the father insane but the son wasn't far behind.

''No, Ronnie's,'' Jake corrected him.

''Right, friend of your dad then?'' Johnny was starting to get the picture when Jake nodded.

''Does anyone know you have that?'' Johnny seriously doubted it as he kept his eyes firmly fixed on the weapon.

''My dad gave it to me when he first came home, said I should keep for protection or if he needs it,'' Jake relayed more.

''Why would your dad need a gun?'' Johnny was now interested, this was not straight forward.

''Someone's after him, that's why he gets scared,'' Jake replied as if Johnny was an idiot.

''For real or...?'' Johnny didn't finish the sentence when Jake's eyes blazed and he lifted the gun again.

''I said my dad isn't crazy,'' Jake reiterated.

''Okay, dad not crazy, got it. Please Jake, put it away,'' Johnny was terrified because if it needed the safety on then it was loaded.

''Do you promise? Please promise. My dad trusted me, please don't tell,'' Jake's eyes filled with tears.

''Jake dude, you're nine, your dad shouldn't have given you a gun, you know that right?'' Johnny replied helplessly and Jake glared at him.

''I know how to use it,'' he asserted and Johnny sighed.

''I get that, I do but...'' Johnny waited for Jake to come to his senses but then he noticed something.

''What happened to your arm?'' he asked, aghast at the handprint around the young boy's skinny arm.

''Ronnie did it, he'll hurt me worse if I get my dad in trouble about the gun. They'll lock my dad away forever, I won't see him again,'' Jake put Johnny in a bad place.

''Do you promise that you'll put it in your backpack and leave it there? You have to promise and I'll keep your secret,'' Johnny made an ill advised decision but he wasn't much older or wiser than the distraught boy in front of him.

''Okay, I promise,'' Jake leaned down to put it away as he had been asked but Johnny stopped him.

''Take the bullets out,'' he said and Jake frowned at him.

''I will tell if you don't,'' Johnny was adamant.

''Okay but you are a wuss,'' Jake did as he said and then he stood offering his little finger which Johnny shook.

''Pinkie swear, you can't tell now,'' Jake put the back pack on his shoulder.

''Yeah I know. We should go,'' Johnny was grumpy as his conscience told him very firmly that he was doing the wrong thing.

XyXyXyXyXy

''So you are going with Torres, talk to this Captain Renshaw right?'' Cal was standing with Foster in the hallway.

The MRI scan and the reconstruction had been no real surprise, Jeff was in an almost constant state of distress and living with him must have been hell for both his wife and little boy. Cal knew something about living with ex soldiers with issues and he was struggling to suppress unwelcome emotions.

''Are you okay?'' Foster placed a concerned hand on his arm and Cal hunched a shoulder.

''Tough case, kids, war, disturbed parents, recipe for disaster innit?'' Cal tried to smile but Foster noted the guarded expression in his eyes, the windows to his soul were firmly closed.

'' I guess so,'' Foster let it go and Cal cocked his head.

''Need to talk love,'' he said softly and Foster paused, unsure how to reply.

''Ready?'' Torres broke the moment and Foster looked around at her with relief, she wasn't sure she was ready for a showdown with Lightman just yet.

''Yes, yes, let's go. See you later Cal,'' Foster walked away with Torres who raised her hand in farewell.

''That talk, when you get back okay?'' Cal called after them but Foster chose not to acknowledge him.

''He knows?'' Torres asked as they walked to the car and Foster threw her a sharp look.

''Yes, he knows or at least I think he does but I don't want to talk about it. Lets concentrate on the case,'' Foster cut off any heart to heart talk abruptly and Torres was canny enough not to say anymore.

XyXyXyXyX

Cal looked at the photos with a mixture of nostalgia and regret, deep down the familiar loss of control and fear stirred as well. He had buried all this years ago but Jake's presence reminded him so much of his own childhood that he had given into temptation and dug out the paper memories.

Emily surprised him by placing a cactus beside him and Cal was instantly suspicious and also reminded that it was very quiet, he should check on Johnny soon.

''What are you doing here?'' he asked and Emily looked baffled.

''I got Bailey some flowers and I saw a cactus so I got it for you,'' Emily looked at the photos in her dad's hand and was instantly curious.

''Why?'' Cal was still suspicious.

''Cos it reminded me of you, go figure huh?'' Emily replied lightly.

''What have you done?'' Cal still wasn't convinced.

''Nothing apart from the obvious although I aced my math test and Bailey woke up. No sign of infection,'' Emily didn't conceal her delight and threw her arms around Cal who felt bad for his attitude.

''That's great love,'' he lightened up, not wanting to ruin her mood.

''I have to go, Mom's waiting. I'll see you later,'' Emily was anxious to get to the hospital.

''I'll walk you out,'' Cal made an effort as he had been less than welcoming.

''Neat car,'' Emily commented as a small red remote control car raced towards them.

''My dad gave him to me,'' Jake jumped up with a smile and Cal winced at the trust in his face, he really believed that Cal was going to fix his dad and it made Cal very uncomfortable.

''Emily, Jake, Jake, Emily,'' Cal tried to rush her through the hallway.

''Is that your dad?'' Jake followed them much to Cal's dismay.

''Yeah,'' Emily was baffled by Cal's hurry, this was only a harmless little boy and he was cute.

''He's helping my dad, my dad's a soldier,'' Jake pronounced with that pride again, the pride that make Cal feel inadequate. He didn't want to be responsible for changing how this boy felt about his father but there was a chance he might have to.

''Wow!'' replied Emily.

''You can talk about that later. Go on go, hurry up. Your mom's waiting, go on, go,'' Cal waved her away watching her the whole way. He turned around to find Jake looking expectantly up at him. He was so trusting and just for a split second Cal slipped back to a time when he had loved his father this way, the golden age before it all changed.

Cal cleared his throat and refocused to find the small boy still staring at him and he ran away, ran away from what this boy represented to him.

It was only when he'd closed the door that he realised Johnny was nowhere to be seen.


	12. Chapter 12 Scared Little Boys

Hello, posting again. This tale has momentum and is proving easier than my Bones fic at the mo where I am experiencing some probs. Will probably post on that today but not sure. The new chapter isn't quite right and I'm not sure why.

Thanks for the reviews, encouraging as always. This moves the story on but there are hints about Cal's past or my take on it. Let me know if you agree or have a different perspective.

A note about Cal and the way he treats Johnny, I write it as I see him. I know plenty of blokes like Cal, I understand his influences so thats why he is the way he is. A contradiction, moving from big, bad dad to doting dad in a blink of an eye. He is also a very physical man, its how he expresses himself all the time. So I am sorry if his actions make you uncomfortable from time to time but I just think that is how he would be with a son.

You may disagree if so please let me know as I love feedback. Some more would be nice as the hits are high but not that many reviews. Reviews keep a writer going so I don't want to beg but...

Laters S X

XyXyXyXyXyXy

''You're back?'' Cal said as he walked into the office where Foster was drawing on a whiteboard.

''So it would seem,'' Foster teased Cal for once. Cal rolled his eyes and slouched down in a chair, sprawling arms and legs everywhere. He always filled a room despite his diminutive stature.

''For once just listen,'' Foster filled Cal in and they stared at the finished diagram.

''So we know that there's something missing right?'' Cal mused and Torres nodded.

''Someone should talk to the boy, he could offer some insight,'' Foster said and looked directly at Cal.

''Maybe that should be you,'' he said instantly.

''Why?'' Foster's question held a challenge and they all knew it.

''Dunno, might be better coming from a woman,'' Cal made a poor excuse.

''Oh Cal, that is a crock and you know it. What is your problem with this little boy?'' Foster was short with him on accounts of the fact that she knew Torres was going to leave any minute and then they would be alone, the time was coming when she would have to face his recriminations.

''Problem love, I don't have a problem. Talking of boys, have you seen mine recently? He's about so big, not tall, just like his dad,'' Cal kidded around in a weak attempt to distract her attention.

''No,'' Foster shook her head as did Torres.

''So that's a worry. Sorry love but I have to find Johnny, he's been unsupervised for far too long, give me five minutes then we can talk alright?'' Cal reminded her that he hadn't forgotten and she blushed.

Torres stayed where she was and pursed her lips in disapproval.

''What?'' Foster asked irritably and then Torres tutted.

''If you have something to say Ria then just say it,'' Foster snapped.

''Why don't you just tell him? He's a good dad, he can be a total hard ass with everyone else but he loves his kids. That's one thing you can say about Lightman, he's a good dad, a come running dad. You know this, what is the problem?'' Torres had held her tongue for long enough and Foster stared at her with troubled eyes.

''I don't know why I don't want to tell him, Ria,'' she stuttered.

''Yes, you do,'' Torres replied regretfully, sometimes knowing when people were lying wasn't very comfortable especially when it meant you had to force someone you respect to face their deepest, darkest fears.

''I know you're right, I know he is a good father, I watch him every day with those children and I am filled with admiration but I'm afraid. I'm afraid, I can't go through failing again, I just can't,'' Foster was horrified when she felt tears prick her eyes.

''Hormones, tricky little suckers,'' Torres smiled and Foster flashed a watery smile of gratitude at her.

''You know Gillian, good fathers normally make good partners. I know Lightman hasn't got a great track record but that's mainly cos he's been hung up on Zoe who is so obviously the wrong woman for him. Maybe all it will take is the right woman,'' Torres was more honest than she meant to be.

''Don't tell him I said any of that will you? He'll kick my ass,'' Torres belatedly added.

''No, I won't. How do I know if I'm the right woman? I thought I was Alex's right woman, look how that worked out?'' Foster was pleased to use Torres as a confidante, she needed somebody.

''I don't have much experience Gillian so you could just tell me to go to hell. You don't see it but Lightman looks at you in the same way he looks at his kids. I have never seen him look at Zoe that way and that is all I am gonna say before I get my ass fired,'' Torres said jokingly as she stood up.

''Thank you Ria,'' Foster squeezed the younger woman's hand.

''You're welcome and please just think about it. Oh and tell him the truth, you have to tell him the truth,'' Torres left and Foster was contemplating her advice when her cell rang.

XyXyXyXyXy

Cal walked out into his office to find Jake staring nervously at him, his car stopped dead at Cal's feet. It bothered Cal how he made this boy feel. He didn't like how he behaved around him and he was well aware that children were good at reading body language especially ones who lived with unstable parents so Jake's apprehension was understandable. It was true that boys made him nervous, it was because every time he looked at them, he was reminded of the scared little boy he carried carefully hidden inside. The emergence of Johnny was always going to force him to face those demons at some point but somehow this case was accelerating that process. This boy in particular represented a mirror image of his young self.

''Can I have a go?'' Cal tried to build bridges and Jake handed over the remote without hesitation and Cal promptly broke it.

Cal mumbled his apology and as he watched Jake repair the car, Cal knew he had to take the fortuitous opportunity that now presented itself however difficult it was for him.

''When you asked me if I was a soldier before, were you hoping I was going to be one?'' Cal asked knowing the answer.

''Yes, like my dad,'' Jake inevitable reply came, Cal knew how this went, this boy believed, as he had once a long time ago, that soldiers were real men and civilians were a pale imitation, soldiers protected you and kept you safe. Cal could only imagine how mixed up Jake was about the fact that his father was clearly falling apart. Maybe Cal could prove to Jake that you could be a real man without fighting in a war to prove it.

The rest of the conversation depressed Cal, he was surprised that he revealed to Jake that he had been afraid of his father but the boy missed the importance of that fact. The mother's suggested infidelity didn't lift his mood and he knew that conversation was definitely one for Foster to handle. The boy's loyalty and the excuses he made for the shortcomings of the male role models in his life didn't help Cal's outlook.

''Have you see Johnny?'' Cal asked as an afterthought when they stood up.

''He was being grumpy. I think he went to watch some TV,'' Something in Jake's tone made Cal look twice.

''Did you have a fight?'' Cal knew he had told Johnny to stay away from Jake but he was realistic enough to know that hadn't happened.

''No,'' Jake studied the car in his hand and Cal frowned.

''Maybe a small one?'' he asked again and Jake glanced guiltily at him.

''You have a secret,'' Cal pointed at him and Jake stepped away, intimidated by the older man's change of demeanour.

''You break something?'' Cal went for the obvious and Jake shook his head. That was the truth but there was still something.

''What then? I will keep asking,'' Cal warned and Jake became alarmed.

''Johnny took me on the roof to skateboard,'' Jake was bright so told the truth to throw Cal from his interrogation.

''He did what?'' Cal was appalled, skateboarding on the roof? Was his son insane? Cal was seriously starting to think he was.

''We went up on the roof so Jake could skateboard, it was cool,'' Jake's face filled with relief as Cal fell for his ploy but as often happened when Cal's own children were involved, he was too distracted to notice.

''Right so you shouldn't have done that. Roofs aren't designed for skateboarding, you could have been hurt,'' Cal scolded and Jake nodded earnestly.

''I know and I'm sorry.''

''Is that where he is now?'' Cal asked urgently, his voice edged with panic.

''Yeah, he told me to get lost, said he wanted to think. Can I go now?'' Jake asked as he edged away.

''Yeah, go for your life,'' Cal was already on his way to the stairs.

XyXyXyXyXy

''Cal! Cal! Where are you going?'' Foster cut him off at the pass.

Cal whirled around and put his hand to his head as he spilled information.

''Uuum, you're gonna need to call Child Services, kid's got bruises all over him and speak to the mum, kid thinks she's shagging the army buddy Ronnie Baca,'' he relayed in a rush.

''Right and you are going where?'' Foster was bemused that just as they were getting somewhere, Cal appeared to be taking off.

''Johnny's on the roof skateboarding so I'm in a bit of a hurry,'' Cal was already on his way again.

''He's what? I'm coming too,'' Foster didn't think twice.

''No you are not. You are staying here and doing your job Foster,'' Cal stopped and barked at her and Foster was pulled up short by his vehemence. Cal's face filled with remorse and he smacked his lips in frustration.

''Look, you have to think of the baby, you are not clambering around on a roof when you're carrying my child. Just let me handle it Gill please,'' Cal revealed himself and their eyes locked as the truth floated in the air between them.

''I'm sorry alright? This is not how I wanted to handle this but I have to go now,'' Cal stepped forward, placed his hand on her cheek and kissed her deeply. Foster's legs almost buckled under her as she was blown away by the depth of passion and feeling in the kiss. Cal pulled away grinning at her flushed face.

''Now that is the reaction I wished I always got from women when I kissed them,'' he teased and then he was gone leaving a breathless Foster behind him.

Foster heard a noise behind her and turned, Torres was standing grinning at her from the doorway.

''Do not say a word. Get Becky in here, we need to talk to her and tell Loker to look after Jake. I have to call Child Services,'' Foster adopted a professional tone in direct contrast to her flustered appearance. Torres nodded and disappeared. Foster straightened her top, smoothed her hair and took a deep breath in a futile effort to compose herself.

XyXyXyXyXyXyX

Becky made excuses and Foster was not impressed. She understood that her husband's behaviour had isolated Becky but that was no excuse for turning a blind eye to another man's mistreatment of her child.

''Did you know that Ronnie had hurt him?'' Foster asked again and Becky glared at her.

''He did not hurt him, he spanked him. He was being a brat and Jeff was so obsessed that he barely even noticed. Even your Doctor Lightman does that, I saw him earlier with his own kid,'' Becky tried to sidetrack Foster but she wouldn't let her.

''Your son has bruises, spanking does not cause bruises Becky and you know it. It is abuse when it leaves bruises and I'm sorry but I have called Child Services. I have to act in the best interests of the child, I am professionally bound,'' Foster tried to adopt a detached air but she did have some sympathy for this woman.

''Am I going to lose my son?'' Becky was shocked by this turn of events.

''I'm sorry but I don't know. It's not up to me,'' Foster replied stiffly.

''I love my child and I love my husband. Jeff didn't come back from the war, he didn't, he's still stuck there. I needed help so Ronnie helped me, he didn't mean to be so rough with Jake, he didn't,'' Becky was begging for help.

''We know the problems with Jeff and we will do what we can but you are going to have accept that it is late and Jake will probably have to stay in foster care tonight. Jeff will be returned to protective custody and we will resume tomorrow,'' Foster decided that they all needed a break, herself and Cal included.

Becky slumped back in her chair defeated by the officialdom she faced.

''You will need to stay here and Child Services will come to speak to you,'' Foster stood up and nodded to Torres.

XyXyXyXyXyXy

''What the hell do you think you are doing?'' Cal was breathless and astounded to find Johnny sitting on a low wall watching the city below with his feet dangling over the edge of ten storeys.

''Alright dad, its pretty isn't it?'' Johnny was nonchalant and appeared to relish the danger or at least his father's reaction to it.

''Get off the wall there's a good boy,'' Cal waved him over, Cal tried to conceal his vertigo but Johnny spotted it right off, he was his father's son after all.

''Which way?'' Johnny leaned out into the black abyss and chuckled when he saw Cal blanch.

''You're not afraid are you? I won't fall dad,'' Johnny stood up on the wall much to his father's chagrin. Cal visibly recoiled and controlled the urge to hold his hands out for balance or drop down low, as if that was going to help! No, only one thing was going to rectify this situation, the wrath of Lightman was required.

''GET! BLOODY! DOWN!'' Cal yelled very loudly and Johnny knew the game was over, his father was not amused and for the good of his own health he should stop baiting him.

Johnny paused for the fun of it and Cal put his hands on his hips glowering at him. Johnny jumped down and glanced sheepishly at Cal.

''I didn't leave the building,'' he mentioned as way of vindication.

''Well lets thank god for small mercies shall we? Let's go,'' Cal gestured towards the stairwell.

''You go first,'' Johnny didn't move, very aware that Cal wouldn't come that close to the edge.

''Do you know what Jono? I'm shattered and have had a really shit day. So unless you want me to take my extremely bad mood out on you, I would move pronto,'' Cal needed a drink and he needed one now.

He had a million things to do but he had already decided that he was going home for the evening. Emily had called, Bailey was improving and she was starting dinner, a night in was what the doctor ordered and Johnny wasn't going to ruin Cal's R and R.

Johnny was bright enough to heed this warning so he stepped on the end of his skateboard, tucked it under his arm and trotted in the direction Cal indicated.

Cal watched him, shook his head in despair and then stalked after him.

''And I'll have that bloody skateboard and all,'' he yelled to his son's back.

XyXyXyXyXy

''Cal, this is Suzanne Morgan, she's the social worker assigned to Jake,'' Foster caught Cal on his way to his office, Johnny trailing some distance behind him.

Foster indicated with her eyes that Cal needed to be civil. She looked Johnny up and down, he appeared all in one piece, for now at least but once his father got him in private that might change.

He gave her an apologetic smile which Gillian met with an admonishing glare, Johnny blushed and looked at his feet.

''How do you do Ms Morgan?'' Cal reacted with exaggerated manners and Suzanne Morgan's smile faltered, unsure if he was mocking her. She shook the offered hand quickly, snatching her hand away as if Cal might bite.

''I understand Jake made his disclosure to you?'' Ms Morgan carried manfully on.

''Yeah, he did. He has a bruise on his arm in the shape of a hand which tells the story. He told me his father's friend Ronnie hit him and he was telling the truth,'' Cal relayed wearily.

''Are you gonna take Jake away?'' Johnny chose that moment to pipe up and the adults all looked at him. He was a sorry sight, filthy dirty with his cheek covered in a vibrant bruise. Johnny was preoccupied by the gun, he'd seen enough movies to know that if Jake was caught with a firearm, nine or not, he could end up in juvenile hall which was something akin to hell.

''What happened to your face?'' Ms Morgan asked immediately and Cal laughed bitterly, he rolled his eyes and drew in an irritated breath.

''Very proactive Ms Morgan but I'm sorry to disappoint you. He had an accident yesterday, fell from a motorbike. He was treated at Mercy, feel free to check the details,'' Cal answered her cheerfully.

''Although I am considering beating the living daylights out of him when I get him home so if you'd like to come over later, you can have him and all if you like,'' Cal was flippant and Ms Morgan looked at Foster to help her.

Johnny shifted from foot to foot, he knew his dad was joking but he was still annoyed, very annoyed.

''He's kidding,'' Foster reassured the social worker as she gave Cal the evil eye.

''Am I? Don't be so sure. Come on, we're going home,'' Cal lifted his arm and flicked his head. Johnny rolled his eyes and walked reluctantly over. Cal slung his arm around his shoulders and looked at Ms Morgan.

''We finished? Cos I'm knackered and well pissed off so..'' Cal checked and Ms Morgan nodded.

''Yes Doctor Lightman, we are done. I will need to speak to you tomorrow though,'' Ms Morgan was happy for Cal to take his leave, very happy.

''Good, see yer later Gill. Dinner about eight suit you?'' Cal winked at her and Foster nodded as well.

''I need the loo,'' Johnny said suddenly and Cal sighed.

''Two minutes, you have two minutes,'' Cal let him go and grinned maliciously at the Social Worker who he had obviously decided was an easy target to bait.

''Why don't we speak further in my office?'' Foster got her away from him as quickly as she could much to Cal's disappointment.

XyXyXyXyXy

Johnny searched the offices urgently knowing his dad was short of patience and he could not push it anymore than he already had.

He found Jake sitting at a computer with Loker.

''Hey Jakey,'' Johnny came in and Jake jumped up, wrapping his arms around him.

''They won't let me go home Johnny, I want to go home,'' Jake snuffled into Johnny's shirt.

''I was just explaining it was for one night that's all,'' Loker eyes urged Johnny to support his stance.

''He's right Jake, they will bring you back tomorrow and my dad will sort this all out. Make your dad better and then you can go home. Honest, you gotta trust me?'' Johnny searched the room as he spoke.

Loker saw him and frowned.

''I lost my backpack with my mobile in it. Dad's gonna kill me if I've lost another one,'' Johnny took a risk and lied outright, he had learned a lot and used all his wiles.

Loker was uncertain but then Jake helped his new friend out. He began to sob and wail right on cue.

Johnny looked helplessly at Loker who pulled the boy gently away.

''Johnny will be here when you get back tomorrow okay bud?'' Loker tried to be as child friendly as possibly.

Johnny spotted the back pack, thanked Loker with a smile and picked up the offending item. He ran back to his dad as fast as he could although he was very careful with the bag he was carrying.

XyXyXyXyXyXy


	13. Chapter 13 Enough Pretty Colours?

Thank you soooooo much for all the amazing reviews. You took so much time and put in a huge amount of effort. They were so detailed and really, really helpful. Thank you again. So I am going to be greedy and ask for some more advice. Johnny has this bloody gun and Cal is going to find out ( I'm not revealing how, that's a surprise!). I am really stuck with what he does about it, how he deals with Johnny. I've been writing it for days now and nothing feels right so I am asking for your suggestions. Sorry, I know its cheeky but its holding up the rest of the story. I keep giving up with it so need some assistance. Hope you don't mind. Pm me or write it in a review but any help would be appreciated.

As you can tell I have played around with the timeline on the episode but it suits my purposes.

Laters S X

XyXyXyXyXy

''Hey you finished checking my homework?'' Emily stirred the casserole whilst Cal stared at his computer.

''Mmm, yeah,'' Cal took a sip of wine. Johnny flopped down on the couch, his hair still damp from his much needed shower. Cal looked at him and wondered if he should get a camera because he appeared to be clean and reading a book which was verging on the absurd.

Emily walked from the kitchen and caught sight of him as well, she looked at her dad who shrugged his shoulders.

''There is hope apparently,'' he said caustically and Emily laughed.

''Oi boyzy, you got something to say to me?'' Cal took his opportunity, he had scolded and lectured Johnny all the way home but was still waiting for an apology.

''Can I change my name to Holden Caulfield?'' Johnny asked looking up from his book and Cal looked to the heavens for some assistance.

''No, wrong answer so unless you want that hiding I mentioned, have another go,'' Cal threatened and Emily wriggled her nose at him.

''You know dad, hollow threats don't really work on kids. They do know when you don't mean it,'' she said precociously. Johnny sniggered and went back to his book.

''Who says I don't mean it?'' Cal replied half heartedly and Emily retreated to the kitchen with a dismissive huff.

''Johnny! What have you got to say to me?'' Cal tried again and Johnny flung his book down sulkily before looking over at his dad.

''Come here, come on, over here, '' Cal beckoned his son over with a finger.

He stood up, dragged his feet to the table and then slung his arm around Cal's neck, he gave the computer screen an interested glance.

''Sorry,'' Johnny whispered in his dad's ear and Cal grinned at him. His boy smelled clean and fresh, all the snails and puppy dog tails washed away for now. He was wearing his pyjamas and Cal caught sight of, for the briefest of moments, the younger, sweeter version of his son that had been denied him. Cal had to resist the urge to pull him onto his lap and hug him tightly. Instead, he resigned the moment to the set of precious, Johnny memories he had begun to collect alongside the many he had of Emily.

''Really, really sorry? So sorry that you will never do anything so bloody stupid again?'' Cal wanted his pound of flesh.

''Yeah, that sorry. What is that?'' Johnny pointed at the screen.

''That boyzy is what I think of you and your sister, quite literally. Shift, I wanna show Em as well,'' Cal pushed him gently away and took the computer into the kitchen. Johnny padded after him and they crowded around the laptop.

''Here look at this, you're gonna like this. Right, check this out. What do you see?'' Cal asked dramatically and Johnny giggled. Cal tickled him and Johnny squirmed away but Cal pulled him back, tucking him securely under his arm.

''No escaping, I want you to see this,'' He said firmly.

''Uuur wrinkles, like one of those dogs with the scrunched up faces,'' Emily replied.

Cal screwed up his face making Johnny laugh again.

''Like a Shar Pei,'' Cal spoke to Emily, Johnny as usual had started to fidget, his energy boundless and his attention span limited.

''Stay put, this is interesting,'' Cal squeezed him still so Johnny refocused on the screen.

''Brains are ugly,'' Emily commented and Johnny nodded in agreement as he picked up a knife and looked at the very tempting smooth, wooden surface. He checked to see if Cal was watching but he appeared oblivious.

''That's my brain that is,'' Cal mocked offence.

''Oh well you have a very handsome brain,'' Emily massaged his ego.

''Thank you very much,'' Cal postured and then he took the knife from Johnny's hand which was poised to carve his initials into the worktop.

''No vandalism,'' Cal tapped the back of the offending hand and looked back at the image. Johnny grumbled to himself, his dad appeared to know what he was about to do even before he did.

''See this area here, that is supposed to be love, that is,'' Cal pointed at the flashing reds and yellows.

''Aaah and you're looking at a picture of us, Aaah, ''Emily teased as Johnny went red. The picture was from a while ago and showed Cal rough housing with both of them.

''Aaah, I know now look at this,'' Cal changed the screen and a picture of Zoe flashed up. Cal felt Johnny tense and that's when he knew he was making the right decision beyond a shadow of a doubt. Cal knew this decision wasn't just for the good of his children, it was for him as well. Foster was the woman he'd been searching for, he had just been too stubborn and fearful to admit it until now.

''Fight or flight,'' Cal exclaimed with passion and Johnny threw him a look of disbelief.

''A picture of mom triggered that?'' Emily laughed uncertainly.

''Flight mostly,'' Cal reiterated.

''For real?'' Johnny asked doubtfully.

''You're making that up,'' Emily laughed harder this time.

''No, look at my face,'' Cal pulled a pained expression.

''Well that proves it then,'' Emily looked at Johnny who had gone very quiet.

''So what is my point here? I hear you asking,'' Cal encouraged with his hands, he felt Johnny wriggle away and caught his arm.

''No, stay. There is method to my madness,'' Cal said gently as he looked at Emily to assist him. He put Johnny in front of him facing the screen and placed his arms on either side of him and looked over his son's head at the picture.

''What is your point?'' Emily said her lines right on cue.

''There is not much in the area of love is there? Some on accounts of the fact she is the mother of my extremely, beautiful daughter.'' Cal placed a smacker of a kiss on Emily's head and put his chin on Johnny's head who was fixated by the picture.

''But not enough, nowhere near enough,'' Cal made his point and fell silent for a few seconds allowing Johnny to absorb the implication of his words.

''What do you think boyzy?'' Cal muttered and Johnny turned to look up at him. Emily put her hands in her back pockets and watched her father do his best and most important work.

''Dunno,'' Johnny shrugged as he looked back down at his hands.

''The thing is it doesn't give us much to build on. It's a risk, too big a risk to disrupt the lives of the people who matter the most to me. Do you understand what I'm saying Jono?'' Cal asked softly and Johnny nodded.

''No Zoe?'' Johnny said under his breath and Cal smiled triumphantly at Emily who patted him on the back.

''Good job dad,'' Emily whispered in his ear before turning back to the screen.

''You won't change your mind?'' Johnny wasn't entirely convinced.

''No, I will not change my mind,'' Cal kissed the top of Johnny's head who sighed with contentment as Cal hugged him around the chest.

''So come on, what happened when you looked at Gill then?'' Emily could see the other pictures on the tool bar. Cal clicked with a flourish.

''Whoa, Fourth of July,'' Emily exclaimed.

''Aye, aye, shepherd's pie,'' Cal agreed, he had been surprised by the activity, it was intense but only confirmed what he already knew.

''Who's that?'' Johnny seemed to recover from his shock and didn't comment on the Foster picture much to Cal's surprise, instead he pointed at the last photo.

''That's your granddad that is,'' Cal said with some pride.

''And that's you?'' Emily was the one who spoke because Johnny was gazing intently at the screen, then he glanced at Cal in consternation but his dad didn't notice.

''He was a soldier,'' Cal wanted to share so didn't register that Johnny had walked abruptly away from the countertop.

''You never told me that,'' Emily was now very interested.

''You never asked,'' Cal replied and Emily threw him an offended glance.

''He never talked about it much,'' Cal rushed out, he wasn't being confrontational.

Johnny couldn't help himself and stood by the doorframe listening.

''You know, I'm curious about him,'' Emily admitted and Cal nodded.

''Yeah me too,'' he picked up the bread.

''Get the plates Jono, Gill will be here soon,'' Cal said casually as he walked past his preoccupied son.

''Oh Gill's coming for dinner, good,'' Emily picked up the casserole and walked to the table whilst Johnny went to take one last look at his dad's brain.

''You never asked him about the war?'' Emily continued the conversation.

''It was a matter of respect. He came out of the war and he went straight back to work in the rail yard. He was putting me through college so that was that really,'' Cal placed the salad down.

''Johnny, plates,'' Cal called and Johnny jolted into action.

''I'd like to meet him,'' Emily said.

''Yeah well, one day maybe,'' Cal's reply was non committal and he frowned when Johnny slipped into his chair.

''You look tired, son. Bed straight after dinner okay?'' Cal brushed some stray hair from Johnny's eyes.

''Okay,'' Johnny didn't argue about it and Emily exchanged a puzzled look with Cal who shrugged.

''I'll get it,'' Cal said as the door bell rang.

XyXyXyXyXyXy

''Hello, you look nice,'' Cal was beset with doubts as he stood at his front door staring at the woman who he was about to invest his family's entire future in. It was a heady and intoxicating thought, Cal experienced an unfamiliar buzz of excited anticipation and exhilaration. Finally, a chance to do this right, to lay the ghosts of his dysfunctional past to rest once and for all. Foster looked good enough to eat to him and it took a great deal of restraint on his part to stop him whisking her straight upstairs.

''Hello and thank you,'' Foster was nervous, Cal's admission felt like a dream and she had begun to think she'd imagined it.

His unexpected compliment touched her, she had taken a while to get ready, virtually overnight her stomach had developed a soft curve much to her delight. It was invisible to the naked eye but she knew it was there which was all that mattered. She had never been pregnant long enough for her body to reveal the growing life within in a literal way, it reassured her. Maybe this time, she would be allowed to fulfil her dream? Maybe this child would be as tenacious as its father and develop full term? She had begun to believe which scared her to the very depths of her being.

''Come in,'' Cal stepped back and Foster walked over the threshold tentatively, her eyes betraying the turmoil within.

''I won't bite love,'' Cal took the bottle of wine in her hand.

''Just for me obviously,'' he said softly and Foster laughed nervously.

''Yes, just for you. I thought you might need a drink,'' her words asked a question, how did he really feel about this life changing revelation?

''It doesn't get much better love,'' Cal answered her without any hesitation.

''For me or both of us?'' Foster still wasn't convinced and Cal's face revealed hurt.

''I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that,'' Foster realised her mistake immediately.

''Look Gill, the kids are in there and I know we have to talk properly but for now, let's just enjoy a family dinner together okay? Consider it a practice run,'' Cal suggested and Foster released the breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

''That sounds like a good idea,'' she smiled brightly, her eyes lit up and Cal grinned.

He pecked her on the cheek and patted her gently on the stomach in a tender gesture that flummoxed her completely.

''I know, you didn't know I could be so girly but you have no idea. You are going to find out though,'' Cal promised as he placed a supporting hand in the small of her back. His touch evoked a shiver of anticipation that ran through her body like electricity. Cal's grin widened but he didn't comment.

''Hey, sorry I'm late,'' Foster smiled a greeting as Cal led her to the table. Both Emily and Johnny noticed their father's close proximity to her but it provoked very different reactions, Emily's face filled with delight whilst Johnny looked troubled. He threw Cal an angry glare and for the first time Foster wondered if he might be jealous of a new, younger sibling. It was a sobering thought, a reminder of the challenges to come and her smile faltered. But when Johnny looked at her, he smiled wistfully, his eyes welcoming and Foster was totally confused.

''No worries love, we just sat down,'' Cal pulled a chair out for her and she accepted his gallantry with a red face.

''Jake is fine, I spoke to him. He was upset but I reassured him,'' Foster took a full plate from Emily and put her worries to one side. She would take Cal's advice and enjoy a family dinner, an experience that she always relished as it had novelty value for her.

''Well done love, not a great situation,'' Cal was remorseful but convinced that he had acted accordingly.

''Why did they take him away?'' Johnny thought he knew.

''Grown up stuff Jono. Eat your dinner,'' Cal attempted to halt the conversation, he failed.

''Was it cos of the bruises on his arm?'' Johnny asked the awkward question.

''Did he tell you about that honey?'' Foster stepped in and Johnny looked uncertainly at Cal who didn't appear comfortable with the discussion.

''No I saw 'em, don't matter'' Johnny ate some of his dinner, his dad was giving out worrying messages and combined with what Johnny had seen on the computer, he shied away from the implication. His father was his security and Johnny couldn't cope with the thought that he had weaknesses however well hidden they were.

''Okay,'' Foster took his lead and dropped the subject.

''Oh and he said for me to tell you, thanks for looking after his back pack,'' Foster mentioned casually and Johnny choked, coughing vigorously.

''Have some water,'' Cal patted him on the back and Johnny slowly recovered.

''So Bailey was much better today. The doctors are real pleased with him,'' Emily began to chat and Johnny wanted to kiss her but he didn't.

''That's great Em, Marie must be happy,'' Cal made a note to visit tomorrow, he could spare an hour.

''Yeah, she's great,'' Emily was enthusiastic about her new friend.

''She did seem it,'' Cal liked her, it was rare for him to like someone on sight so it was a good omen.

'' Can I leave the table? I feel sick,'' Johnny asked out of the blue, he was fretting about the gun so his claim was honest.

''Okay son, go to bed okay? I'll be up after dinner,'' Cal was concerned but tried not to be smothering.

''Long day,'' Foster commented and Cal shrugged.

''Probably from yesterday. He'll be okay, just needs a good night's sleep,'' Cal didn't fool anyone. Emily looked at Foster who laughed out loud which Emily joined in with.

''Go daddy bear, go check on your cub. We'll be fine,'' Emily wasn't jealous because she knew he would be the exact same way with her.

''Won't be long,'' Cal didn't even argue about it, he just threw his napkin down and ran up the stairs.

Foster and Emily chatted about different things, the latest celebrity scandal mostly as 'The National Enquirer' was Foster's secret vice much to Cal's amusement.

Cal hadn't reappeared so Emily covered his plate and cleared the table whilst Foster started to load the dish washer. Their domestic accord was interrupted by the front door.

''That's weird, it's kinda late,'' Emily went to answer it.

''Where the hell is Cal?'' Zoe burst in and looked around. Foster stepped away from the sink and dried her hands on a towel.

''Zoe, are you okay?'' She asked with concern whilst Emily jumped nervously from foot to foot, this was not looking good. She could sense one of her parent's legendary blow outs, they were about due one.

''I'm looking for Cal, it's a bit late for a business dinner isn't it?''Zoe was thrown by Foster's presence so reacted bitchily.

''Mom, stop it,'' Emily hated this side of her mother, she wasn't always like this but Cal brought out the worst in her as she did him.

''What's all the noise?'' Cal come down the stairs blearily, he'd been reading to Johnny and fallen asleep in the process.

''Cal, what the hell are you doing? I waited an hour for you. You could have at least sent me a text instead of standing me up,'' Zoe was incandescent with rage and Cal groaned. He knew it was hurt pride more than anything, Zoe was no more in love with him than he was with her.

''Love, I'm sorry. We had a difficult case and I forgot. I'm sorry, it was a mistake,'' Cal was a lot more conciliatory than he would normally be with Zoe and Foster was instantly on alert.

''What is happening Cal? I told you that I couldn't take anymore of this,'' Zoe sounded distraught and Emily blushed in embarrassment.

''Go to your room Em,'' Cal said bluntly as he saw this drift into choppy waters.

Emily was grateful for the reprieve and scuttled away.

''Zoe love, come on, you know this was always a bad idea don't you?'' Cal tried to be gentle.

''Right, a bad idea? You're toying with me you son of a bitch. I was happy how it was, it was you that suggested we might try again not me,'' Zoe accused and Foster decided she'd seen enough. She had a great deal to sort out with Cal herself but she wanted no part of this. She just wasn't going to stand there and be humiliated as all her worse fears came to fruition before her eyes.

''I'm going Cal. I will see you in the morning,'' Foster grabbed her coat.

''Okay love,'' Cal was relieved and waved her goodbye.

Foster wasn't exactly pleased with his reaction, he could have at least tried to persuade her to stay. Instead, he couldn't wait to see the back of her, she slammed the door as she left just about fighting off the tears. As she stomped to her car, she berated herself for her gullibility, this would never work, Cal was a type, a type that didn't include a stable home life. Foster drove home in a cloak of misery and despair.

''She doesn't know does she?'' Zoe confronted him as soon as the door closed.

''No, she doesn't,'' Cal admitted as he opened a bottle of wine. Their eyes met and Zoe laughed.

''Who was I trying to kid? We are a disaster together, this was a bad idea from the get go wasn't it?'' Zoe clicked her glass against Cal's who held it up in agreement and then took a huge gulp.

''Absolutely, a dreadful idea, a really, really bad idea, '' he reemphasised.

''Yeah okay, enough already. Bad idea, I get it,'' Zoe smiled but then it faded.

''Cal seriously, I like Foster and if you want this to work then you have to be honest. You know that,'' Zoe urged him and Cal looked up with troubled eyes.

''I know but it's complicated,'' Cal didn't reveal details, he couldn't.

''Cal, it will get even more complicated if she finds out some other way. Think of the kids, they don't need this, either of them. You have to do the right thing Cal, you have to,'' Zoe applied more pressure and Cal laughed.

''I have to tell the truth,'' he said ironically.

''Yes exactly, never been a problem before has it?'' Zoe said with a twinkle of the eye and Cal laughed again.

''God, you are just loving this aren't you?'' he said and Zoe nodded.

''Totally,'' Zoe drained her glass with relish.


	14. Chapter 14 Don't Lose Your Head!

Wow, you lot are amazing. Truely amazing. Thank you for the reviews and the messages, I am still struggling but you helped, you really did.

I am posting again because I am going to busy until after the weekend and don't want to make you wait. I am too fond of you all.

Cliffie coming, sorry but that's the way of fan fic right? Warning, Johnny's mouth is working overtime so some bad language, you have been warned!

Laters S

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''Why isn't Gill here?'' Johnny asked from the doorway and Cal pulled a face at Emily before turning towards his sulking son.

''She had to go home Jono. What do you want for breakfast?'' Cal was as nonchalant as he could be but he was short on patience because he hadn't slept much, Foster's hurt face haunting him whenever he closed his eyes.

''Why did she have to go home?'' Johnny didn't move and Emily raised her eyebrows at Cal. Johnny was spoiling for a fight.

''She was tired son. Breakfast, what do you want for breakfast?'' Cal tried to deflect but Johnny wasn't having any of it.

''Are you still sleeping with Emily's mum?'' Johnny stopped himself from calling Zoe a choice name as he loved his sister and felt no need to hurt her.

''That boyzy, is none of your business so pack it in right now. Sit down, I'm making you breakfast, '' Cal pointed the butter knife in his hand at his truculent son.

Johnny didn't reply but he didn't move either. He looked at Emily waiting for her to leave so he could say what he wanted to.

''I'm out of here,'' Emily's ride arrived just in the nick of time and she welcomed the escape.

''Alright love, see you later. Have a good day,'' Cal handed over her back pack as she kissed him on the cheek and ruffled Johnny's hair as she passed him. The door closed and then they were alone, man and boy.

''So out with it. What is your problem?'' Cal confronted him, there was little point doing anything else.

''It's not me that has a problem. Do you even know what a fucking condom is?'' Johnny managed to throw Cal a curve ball and Cal stopped staring intently at his tow headed tyke who looked like a choir boy but had a turn of phrase that would test the patience of a saint. Apparently, Cal had been canonised during the night because he did not over react. The truth was that Johnny's accusation confused him and he wanted to get to the bottom of what he meant.

''Out of order Johnny, you don't speak to me like that. We've been through this, grown up business,'' Cal resumed buttering the toast in front of him.

''Marmite?'' Cal asked and Johnny glowered at him.

''I'll take that as a yes then. Hate the bloody stuff meself but I know you like it so I am prepared to make the sacrifice. You're lucky I love yer so much, there you go,'' Cal put the plate on the table and then poured a glass of orange juice which he placed beside it.

''Don't want it,'' Johnny still didn't move, his father's refusal to engage with him disconcerting.

''Not really bothered whether you want it. I've made it so you can eat it or not, your choice. Either way I've fed you haven't I? I have fulfilled my parental responsibility,'' Cal took a slurp of tea and grinned at Johnny whose stomach was rumbling, he had missed dinner and was now starving.

''Hungry?'' Cal raised an eyebrow and Johnny glowered afresh at him, he hated that his dad could do that, really hated it, it was spooky and weird.

''Don't you give a shit or is it just cos you're a total wanker?'' Johnny pushed all the right buttons and felt a certain amount of satisfaction when Cal's eyes blazed with irritation.

''Fine, no problem, we'll do it your way then,'' Cal put his cup down and Johnny stepped back, watching him fearfully as his nerve began to waiver.

Cal walked over, took his arm and pulled him to the chair where he dumped him unceremoniously. He put the juice and the toast in front of him and went back to his tea. Johnny looked at his father who met his eye with a steely glare and then he picked up the toast.

Cal watched him eat and as he did Johnny began to feel more and more uneasy. Eventually, he dropped the toast onto the plate.

''I like Gill dad,'' Johnny want for a different tact and Cal sighed before choosing his words carefully.

''So now we're sharing, sharing is good, better than being a little sod anyway. I know you like Gill and I do too but I told you this before. This is grown up business between me and her. This is not up for discussion with you because you are twelve years old and a child just in case it slipped your mind,'' Cal was firm but controlled.

''That's not sharing Dad, that's telling me to mind my own business,'' Johnny retorted immediately.

''Yeah well, I'm not comfortable talking to you about this. My love life is not a telephone poll where everyone gets a say,'' Cal was grumpy but Johnny refused to back down.

''I should have a say, it's my business too and Ems. You can't let us love her and then take her away,'' Johnny persisted and Cal knew he made a fair point. He felt guilt settle just above his solar plexus which was an unpleasant sensation.

''Okay boyzy, listen up. This thing with me and Gill has hit a few obstacles but we are working on it. When there is something to say then I will talk to you and your sister okay?'' Cal compromised but then saw something else in his son's eyes.

''I know about the baby dad and I know that you've been shagging Zoe too. Yeah I'm twelve and I shouldn't know all your shit but I do. What am I supposed to do about it? Pretend that I don't know?'' Johnny was very honest and it surprised Cal who, for once, would have been much more comfortable with deceit.

''Yeah, for now that is exactly what you do,'' Cal couldn't quite believe he was saying this but he was, it was damage limitation although it meant he was now under even more pressure to come clean with Foster.

''I don't want to, it feels like mum all over again,'' Johnny looked down at the table, blinking to stop the tears that were gathering.

Cal came over to him and crouched down pulling his face around by the chin.

''I'm sorry that this has all gone pear shaped Jono. It wasn't what I wanted and I am going to sort it but you have to give me some time okay?'' Cal tried not to show his own distress but he could see that Johnny knew only too well how upset he was.

''Okay,'' Johnny nodded and then he cleared his throat hesitating on his next words.

''What?'' Cal asked and Johnny fixed him with hopeful eyes.

''Are you gonna end up with Gill?'' he asked and Cal's face fell before he recovered.

''I don't know how this is gonna work out Jono so I can't make any promises okay?'' Cal was cautious and Johnny nodded again.

''Alright, fair enough,'' Johnny turned back to his breakfast and Cal stood up.

His chest was aching and he felt slightly nauseous, he knew that last night might well have blown his opportunity with Foster. However, he also knew that his only real chance to salvage their relationship was to bare his soul and beg her forgiveness. It wasn't something that would come easily to Cal Lightman but he would have to dig deep and find the strength somehow for all their sakes.

''I'm gonna get dressed,'' Johnny dragged himself up and idled past Cal, a picture of perfect misery. Cal watched him, unable to offer any comfort. He felt pretty miserable himself.

They drove to the office in silence and it was a while before Cal noticed the back pack that Johnny had clutched to his chest.

''What is that?'' he asked and Johnny's face filled with panic.

''Nuffink, its nuffink,'' Johnny clutched it tighter. Cal parked the car and shifted around in his seat.

''Yeah right, I'm gonna need to take a look at your secret boyzy,'' Cal reached over a hand and Johnny shrank away from him.

Suddenly, Cal's window shook as a desperate hand rapped it abruptly.

''Don't go away,'' Cal warned as he wound down the window.

''Jeff's gone. Becky says we need to go to and see Ronnie!'' Foster was panicking so Cal had little choice. Johnny jumped from the car and Foster instantaneously replaced him.

''How long?'' Cal pulled away and as he glanced in his rear view mirror, to his consternation Johnny had taken off, on some mission that Cal was pretty sure was connected to the back pack. Reluctantly, he put his misgivings to one side for now.

''Half an hour,'' Foster pulled on her seat belt.

''Love, about last night,'' Cal began but Foster wouldn't even look at him.

''For God's sake Cal, not now. We have to focus on the case,'' she snapped and Cal fell silent.

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Johnny slammed open the door and stood breathing heavily, Torres and Loker stared at him.

''Where's Jake?'' Johnny asked and Loker looked over at Torres who frowned.

''You okay Johnny?'' she asked and Johnny laughed.

''Like I'm gonna tell you. Don't read me, it really pisses me off and you're rubbish at it anyway. Do you know where Jake is or not?'' Johnny could not have been more disparaging.

''Hey dude, a little respect okay?'' Loker said and Johnny kicked the wall.

''Just tell me where Jake is okay Loker? '' Johnny didn't respond with any respect, his voice was laced with contempt and Loker flushed with anger. Torres raised her eyebrows but bit her lip, they couldn't reprimand Lightman's kid, it wasn't their place.

''Uh no and unless you want me to tell your dad that you behaved like a brat, you need to chill,'' Loker tried again. He knew that Cal probably wouldn't care less how Jake treated him but he had no other threat he could make.

''Oh for fucks sake,'' Johnny lost his temper and stormed out of the room.

''So that was weird right?'' Torres wasn't really interested in Lightman's offspring's temper tantrum and turned back to her video footage.

''Yeah, weird. I'll be right back,'' Loker went to search for Johnny, he had appeared desperate and suddenly Loker was panicking.

''You need to take this and get rid of it like now,'' Johnny threw the backpack at Jake who was sitting on Lightman's office floor playing with some Lego.

''No, I don't want it,'' Jake pushed it back at him and Johnny stamped his foot.

''Jesus Jake, my dad will fucking kill me if he finds that thing,'' Johnny felt like he was drowning.

''Why would he find it?'' Jake wasn't helping him out.

''Your dad gave it to you not me so you should take it back,'' Johnny did not want to help any more, he knew that the moment his dad got back, he was busted. Cal hated guns, really, really hated them and Johnny did not to want to even think what he would do to him if he found him with one.

''Johnny, please,'' Jake's eyes filled with tears, he was missing his mum and dad, he had spent the night with complete strangers and he couldn't cope with the pressure that Johnny was putting him under.

''Oh alright but I am gonna have to get rid of it, I am,'' Johnny decided there was only one way out.

''No, you can't, I supposed to be looking after it. My dad trusted me,'' Jake stood up and pulled at Johnny's hand, he snatched it away.

''You don't get it Jake, you don't. My dad, he's sound most of the time but sometimes he can be well harsh and he's not been that way with me, not really. I don't want to find out if he ever will be okay?'' Johnny tried to explain but his dialect confused Jake who focussed on his own family and the possible repercussions for them.

''My daddy will go to jail if they find out he gave me a gun Johnny,'' Jake played his ace and Johnny was beset by the paradox he faced, he couldn't do right for doing wrong.

''Hey guys, is there a problem?'' Loker interrupted them and Johnny exhaled in irritation.

''Fuck off Loker, we're fine,'' Johnny said aggressively as he put the back pack on his shoulder, he was stuck with the stupid thing for now. As soon as Cal returned, Johnny would tell him but for now he had to hide it, if he was caught with it before he confessed, the consequences were terrifying.

''Hey cut it out,'' Loker lost his temper and Jake's eyes went very wide and his breathing speeded up.

''You're upsetting Jake,'' Johnny said softly and Loker looked nervously at the obviously frightened little boy.

''Oh Jake, there you are,'' Ms Morgan chose that moment to walk into the room. They all stared at her as if she was diseased and she laughed nervously.

''Is everything okay?'' she asked.

''Yes, we're fine, completely, totally fine,'' Johnny spat the words at her and Loker got a very bad feeling, something was going down and it was not good.

I've gotta go,'' Johnny made for the door but Loker put out an arm to stop him, Johnny ducked effortlessly under it and skipped away.

At that point Loker would have become more proactive but Ms Morgan was watching him with eagle eyes so he had to let the kid leave not tackle him to the ground which was his preferred course of action. Loker threw his arms up with frustration as he realised that Lightman would kill him for his inaction.

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When Ronnie revealed his gun was gone, they began to panic and made straight for the Captain's house.

''He did hit the kid by the way,'' Cal said out of the corner of his mouth and Foster shot him a warning glare.

''I know that Cal, but not now okay,'' She checked Ronnie in the mirror and sure enough he was staring back at her, hate in his eyes.

''Stay in the car,'' Cal barked out.

They exchanged pleasantries with the Captain and as soon as he said Jeff wasn't with him, they both knew he was. The door was closed in their faces and they went to the window, Jeff soon appeared just as they had suspected.

''Right so now you need to go to the car, I'll sort this,'' Cal said immediately and Foster rankled.

''No Cal, you can't do this alone,'' she said and Cal gave that smile of his, the one which made people think he was taking into account what they thought although it always had one outcome and one outcome only. Cal got his way.

''No love, no can do. You know the drill, first to the lifeboats woman and children, technically you're both,'' Cal took her arm and she pulled it away.

''Love, why do I feel as if I'm telling Johnny to go to bed? I am not the bloody enemy here,'' Cal was keeping one eye on the action within.

''Don't you dare treat me the same way, Johnny is a child,'' Foster knew she wasn't going to win this but argued anyway.

''Love, come on,'' Cal insisted and Foster narrowed her eyes at him.

''Stop trying to make out like you give a damn, don't insult my intelligence,'' Foster hissed and Cal shifted his weight, a sure sign he was losing his temper.

''I do give a damn, now go to the bloody car please,'' Cal took her arm again.

''You didn't last night,'' Foster stormed away and Cal sucked in his cheeks, that hadn't gone very well but at least she was out of harm's way.

Cal tried to formulate a plan but before he got very far, the front door bell rang and Cal looked over to see Foster waiting for someone to answer.

''Stubborn cow,'' Cal muttered to himself although he wasn't that surprised.

Foster kept the captain talking whilst Cal crept in the back way.

''Put the gun down Jeff, '' Cal spoke but Jeff didn't even flinch.

''You are way out of your depth,'' Jeff yelled and Cal had to smile, how true, how very true and not just here. His entire life was out of control and Cal felt like it was all about to crash and burn.

''I am coming in and I am armed,'' Cal tried not to show his revulsion, he knew how to use a gun, he was actually very proficient but he hated guns, he had seen the damage they caused close up and personal.

The atmosphere tensed and Foster spoke directly to Jeff who was becoming increasingly agitated. Then Cal mentioned the red door and the Captain gave himself away, he was hiding something.

Jeff dropped his gun and Cal handed over his own weapon over to the Captain with a sigh of relief.

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Johnny had seen the Godfather, he would hide the gun on the roof in a chimney. That way no one would find it by mistake. Unfortunately, modern buildings don't have chimneys and Johnny had no idea what to do next. Everyone knew that you couldn't just dump a gun anywhere, guns hurt people and they had to be treated with respect.

''I knew you would be up here. Come on lets go,'' Loker's voice interrupted Johnny's panic and he slipped the gun back into the bag, he had run out of time.

He dragged his feet over to Loker who grabbed him by the scruff of the neck.

''Gerrof, I'll tell my dad,'' Johnny started to struggle.

''Go right ahead and we'll see what he has to say when I tell him about your mouth,'' Loker was annoyed and it surprised Johnny, he didn't think Loker gave a damn about him.

''Didn't know you were a grass Loker,'' Johnny reverted to his age and Loker smiled, he was on top here, for now at least.

''I don't know what the hell's wrong with you but don't cuss at me again okay,'' Loker cuffed the back of Johnny's head and he was so shocked that he let him pull him downstairs.

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''Daddy,'' Jake threw himself at Jeff before anyone could stop him and the shell shocked soldier clutched on to him for dear life.

''Ms Morgan, could you please?'' Cal indicated towards the boy and the social worker put her arms out.

''No, no,'' Jeff turned his back on the woman and Cal exchanged anxious looks with Foster. It would seem they were going to have to pry a screaming child from his father's arms which wasn't really a recommended treatment for PTSD.

''Okay Jeff, I know you want to see your boy and that you feel guilty for hurting him but you need to give him to me now,'' Cal soothed the young soldier and stepped forward.

Jeff blinked at him, his eyes confused and frantic. Cal knew he was just about holding on, the block his mind had in place was crumbling and there was no way to tell what might happen at the moment that Jeff remembered. It was no place for a child, that was for sure.

''Come on Jeff, give him to me. Do you want to raise your son from a loony bin?'' Cal took a risk as was his way and Jeff froze for a brief second then he placed Jake in Cal's arms.

Cal expected the boy to fight but he didn't, he clutched onto Cal who could feel he was shaking.

''It's okay boyzy, you're safe and we're going to make your dad better alright?'' Cal exhibited his softer side and as he looked up, his eyes connected with Fosters who was staring at him with a mixture of longing and sadness.

''Ask him who that bitch is Jeff?'' Ronnie spoke and Cal saw the gun in his hand immediately, he was talking about Ms Mason. Cal heard Foster gasp behind him and the child in his arms began to shake uncontrollably. He was terrified and Cal couldn't really blame him, he was a mite perturbed himself.

''The bloody security in this building is soddin' useless,'' Cal said under his breath as he put Jake down and pushed him towards Foster, he placed himself between the dangerous man with the gun and the innocents in his sights. By Cal's reasoning, the boy was the last one any of them would hurt so his position with the love of Cal's life offered her some fortuitous protection.

''Right let's calm down shall we?'' Cal said cockily, his arms outstretched in a steadying motion, the only sign he was nervous was his frantic gum chewing.

''Tell him who she is,'' Ronnie said again, pointing the gun directly between Cal's eyes. Cal glanced at the terrified woman and flicked his head.

''Stand behind me, there's a good girl,'' Cal said to her with a wink and Ms Morgan did as she was told.

''Who is she Lightman?'' Jeff asked and Cal contorted his face, stared down at the floor and generally tried to buy some time. He could see the panic alarm blinking behind the reception, the cavalry would be here soon.

''She's from Child Services. They took Jake away from me Jeff and now they won't give him back,'' Becky's small voice echoed down the hallway and Cal cringed.

' I don't like you. You are a wise ass limey son of a bitch and you irritate me,'' Ronnie reacted by launching a personal attack on Cal who shrugged.

''Funny enough, you are not the first person to say that,'' Cal was self depreciating and Ronnie frowned, he wasn't supposed to react that way.

''I could blow your brains out right now and there is not a damn thing you could do to stop me,'' Ronnie snapped and Cal nodded.

''That's true, no chance you might miss I s'pose,'' Cal asked, from the corner of his eye he saw Foster push Jake behind her.

''Ronnie, no,'' Becky came to her senses, this was not going to help them get their child back.

''I never miss,'' Ronnie ignored her. Jeff was looking frantically between Ronnie and Cal.

''Ronnie, what the hell are you doing?'' Jeff finally said something.

''Jeff, cos of this son of a bitch, they're gonna take Jake away and you are real close to being locked away in the nuthouse. I figure we don't have much to lose,'' Ronnie applied some messed up logic but the really dangerous thing was that he believed he was being rational.

''Apart from maybe your head,'' Johnny's voice echoed from the end of the hallway. Cal tried to control his horror as he turned to see his twelve year old son standing with a gun aimed directly at the man threatening his father.


	15. Chapter 15 Telling Lies

Just got time to post this. I am in a rush so there could be typos, I apologise if there are.

Great reviews as always and much appreciated. The story continues and we learn more about Cal's childhood or at least his feelings about it.

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Ronnie laughed which was ill advised in Cal's opinion, twelve year olds, especially this particular member of that vexing species, could be unpredictable as Cal knew to his cost. Cal glanced at Foster who was staring at Johnny with stark fear shining on her face. Cal felt like he was in the middle of a nightmare as he faced a ghastly dilemma. Two of the most important people in his life were in immediate danger and he couldn't protect them. He was struck at that moment how easy it was to take the good things in life for granted and how that could change in a flash. One thing he knew for sure was that Cal Lightman would never take his good fortune for granted ever again.

''You know how to use that thing kid? I'm betting that you are about to pee your pants,'' Ronnie didn't take the threat seriously but it did distract him. Cal saw Jeff move and he took his opportunity, Cal threw himself at Foster, pushing up against the wall so he could use his body to shield woman and child from harm.

Jeff tackled Ronnie to the ground and yanked the hand holding the gun upwards, it went off and the discharge thundered, debris from the destroyed ceiling raining down on the wrestling men. The gun flew across the floor and came to a stop several yards away without going off again, God was smiling on them.

''You okay? Is everyone okay?'' Cal swept the area with his eyes, yelling frantically. Becky was prone on the ground and Johnny was standing in the distance, the gun by his side with a white faced Loker behind him.

''Give it up Ronnie, give it up you son of a bitch!'' Jeff was screaming as he tried to hold down his raging friend who had lost control. Suddenly there was mayhem, security guards and Reynolds coming from all directions.

''You okay?'' Reynolds checked them and Foster collapsed her head on Cal's chest without a second thought. She vaguely felt Jake break away from her but she was dazed so didn't stop him.

''Hey love, you okay,'' Cal stroked the hair from her face and cupped her head in his hand checking her for injuries.

''I... oh god,'' Foster put her arms around him as she tried to control her tears.

''It's alright darlin', it's alright,'' Cal looked over her towards Reynolds.

'' Ben, could you take that thing off my son please before he hurts someone or kills himself? '' Cal flicked his head towards Johnny, Loker was looking after Becky who was crying hysterically whilst Jake clutched her around the waist, Johnny appeared frozen watching the frantic activity. Several cops had now joined the melee.

Reynolds nodded and strode towards the stricken boy. Cal couldn't trust himself to go near Johnny just yet, he was beyond angry and on his way to exploding so it was best to keep his distance for now.

''Give me the gun son,'' Reynolds held his hand out and Johnny looked up at him and then down at the weapon as if he had never seen it before. He placed it on the out stretched palm and Reynolds placed a comforting arm around his shoulder.

By now both Ronnie and Jeff were being searched as they lay face down, spread eagled on the ground.

''Not him, he helped us out. We need to return the compliment, sort this out once and for all,'' Cal intervened and Jeff looked up at him. Cal crouched down and leaned forward talking directly in his face.

''You're gonna have to kick down the door son, for your family's sake. Look around you, this is what happens when you don't tell the truth, when you weave a web of lies, '' Cal wriggled his out stretched fingers and Jeff nodded.

''Good boy,'' Cal stood and indicated to Reynolds who came forward, he showed the gun to Cal, put it in his pocket and then helped Jeff to his feet.

''It ain't loaded, I didn't know how to load it,'' Johnny said from a safe distance and Cal shot him a look of pure fury which made Johnny physically flinch as if he'd been struck.

''Are you hurt?'' Cal asked coldly and Johnny's stomach did a double flip, his dad was majorly upset and Johnny knew it was at him. He shook his head as he avoided looking Cal in the eye.

''You stay right there, do not move a bloody muscle. We are going to be having words,'' Cal warned as he turned around to check again on Gill who was now leaning on Torres, her face stained with tears. She hated being so emotional but recognised the effect of too many hormones, she was powerless in their face as they kept reducing her to a quivering mess at the most inopportune of times.

''Didn't know you were such a cry baby love,'' Cal teased and Foster laughed, giving him a gentle shove.

''Go and get some tea and calm down, we've got this, me and Loker,'' Cal gave Torres the eyes but Foster resisted.

''I'm working Cal and don't treat me like I'm made of China. I will be fine, I just need a moment,'' she said and Cal blew out a sigh, Foster was stubborn so it was pointless arguing with her.

''Fair enough love, take five. We don't have to start right away, I have to... well... you know,'' Cal waved his arm towards Johnny who was now leaning against the wall watching the cops buzz around, he had of course moved against his father's strict instructions.

''Where did he get a gun, Cal?'' Foster's face was vexed and strained.

''Its army issue,'' Reynolds interrupted them. '' We're running it now, should have an answer pretty soon. I am gonna need to question Johnny,'' Reynolds said with regret and Cal shrugged.

''No time like the present is there? As it happens I have a few questions of my own,'' Cal swaggered off but Foster saw straight through the casual demeanour.

''Cal, Cal, listen to me,'' Foster got in his way.

''What love?'' Cal did it again, the off hand, slightly mocking tone designed to mislead.

''Cal, he's a little boy and he made a mistake. Don't be too hard on him, please for my sake,'' Foster was very assertive and Cal placed his hand on her cheek, looking deep into her eyes.

''You are a very hot piece of tottie, Gill,'' Cal utilised one of his favourite tricks but Foster was wise to it although she did blush.

''Don't do that,'' she knocked his hand away. ''Please Cal, for me?'' Foster asserted again and Cal shook his head at her in reproach.

''Trouble is love, he had a gun, a gun he hid from me and I know that is the constitutional right of every American but it just doesn't sit well with me. I dunno why, kids and guns, not really my idea of fun,'' Cal didn't co-operate.

''Cal, I agree with you, you know I do but you have to give him a chance to explain. Just give him a chance,'' Foster and Cal were locked in their own little tussle, oblivious to all round them.

Johnny was watching the exchange and kept throwing Reynolds nervous glances. Reynolds smiled at the boy but Johnny wasn't reassured. He looked around for Jake but he had been whisked away with his social worker and Mother, Johnny was on his own.

''Sorry love but..'' Cal was gentle but still there was no concession.

''Lightman, we need you,'' Loker appeared and Cal turned around irritably.

''What Loker? I'm busy here,'' Cal wasn't impressed.

''Its Jake, he wants you. He's gone a little crazy, he's hiding under a table and won't come out unless he can speak to you,'' Loker cringed and Cal sighed.

''Cal, you go. I'll talk to Johnny with Ben,'' Foster was relieved and pushed Cal towards Loker.

''Alright, alright,'' Cal gave in but as he walked to Loker, he glared afresh at Johnny who raised his chin defiantly although Cal saw it as the defensive gesture it was. Cal stopped in front of his son and pointed at him, Johnny looked away and then back again, his eyes wary. He wasn't feeling anywhere near as confident as he was behaving and Cal knew it.

'' Gill and Ben want to talk to you. Make sure you tell them the bloody truth, you understand me?'' Cal said in a low, hard voice.

''I will,'' Johnny's voice came out as a croak so he cleared his throat nervously. Cal held his eye for an extra second whilst Johnny fidgeted under his intense scrutiny and then he walked away with Loker.

Johnny blew out the breath he'd been holding and smiled, he had thought he was dead for sure and he was very grateful for the reprieve.

''Don't look so happy, you have some questions to answer kid,'' Reynolds reminded him he wasn't out of the woods yet.

''Yes, you do,'' Foster was standing with her arms crossed and she didn't look any happier than Cal. Johnny smiled at her but it died on his lips when her face remained stony.

''We'll use your dad's office, let's go,'' Reynolds led the way and Johnny found himself being frogmarched down the corridor. He had no idea Foster could be such a hard ass but he had a feeling he was about to find out how tough she really was.

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Cal leaned down and spotted Jake tucked as far away from him as possible. He was curled up in a tight ball, his hands covering his head. Cal took a moment, this was delicate, and this child was very distressed. He had been stoic until now but inevitably he was traumatised by recent events.

Cal looked up at Loker who was standing beside Becky, she was chewing her thumb nail nervously.

''I'm going in,'' Cal climbed under the table and with difficulty shuffled his way down to Jake.

''Good job I'm so bloody short,'' he said but Jake didn't respond. Cal tapped him very gently on the arm and wasn't encouraged when the boy whimpered.

''I'm here, boyzy. Loker said you wanted to talk to me, what can I do for yer?'' Cal tried to control his own fear, this was just a little too close to home. Back in the day he had done more than his fair share of cowering and it wasn't pleasant to watch it replayed in glorious technicolour before his eyes.

''Is my dad okay?'' A small voice came from the huddle.

''Yeah Jake, he's fine. As it happens he was our hero wasn't he? Just like you said he was, saved us all,'' Cal replied in a whisper and Jake uncurled slightly, looking over at Cal.

''Can you fix him?'' Jake knew his father was broken and somewhere along the way he had decided that Cal was his saviour. Cal knew that failure was not an option, it wasn't just Jeff he was saving now.

''Yeah, I think I probably can,'' Cal shifted position and was relieved when Jake sat up. He fixed him with big, mournful eyes and Cal experienced a moment of connection. He had no reason to fear this boy and the feelings he evoked, Cal had to confront, embrace them even, closure was well over due.

Cal hated that expression, bloody closure, but he couldn't avoid it forever.

''It was my fault Ronnie did that, my dad is gonna hate me. Ronnie is his best buddy,'' Jake sniffed and wiped his face with his sleeve.

''I doubt that. Do you know what I think boyzy?'' Cal moved closer but Jake didn't seem to notice.

''What?'' Jake replied curiously.

''I think that you are your dad's best friend, you and your mum,'' Cal said and Jake stared suspiciously at him.

''I'm telling the truth. Look at my face,'' Cal pulled a funny face and Jake giggled.

''I'm an expert so I can confirm this is what the truth looks like,'' Cal made Jake giggle more and in turn the boy relaxed, just as Cal intended.

''Do you really think that?'' Jake was earnest and Cal nodded.

''I know that,'' he confirmed and Jake beamed at him.

''I also know that your dad is mad at Ronnie for hurting you and he knows that the reason that Ms Mason took you away was because of that not because of anything you did,'' Cal was gratified when he saw some understanding on Jake's face.

''Would you be mad if someone hurt Johnny?'' Jake asked and Cal nodded.

''Yeah, really, really mad,'' Cal didn't have to think about that one, he'd experienced just such a situation and his rage had surpassed even his own expectations.

''It wasn't his fault,'' Jake said and Cal didn't miss that he shifted backwards as he said that.

''Who are we talking about here?'' Cal asked and Jake's face clouded, his bottom lip quivered but he appeared to gather some courage.

''Will you promise not to get mad?'' Jake said what kids always say when they know they have done something that is going to send the adult they're talking to into the stratosphere.

''Don't really make promises like that. I will promise that nobody will get in trouble unless they have been naughty,'' Cal reminded himself he was talking to a nine year old although kid talk didn't come easily to him. Mostly, he spoke to children like little adults which wasn't always appropriate as Foster told him all the time.

''Johnny's frightened of you,'' Jake managed to silence Cal who blinked back the instant hurt that hit him in the chest. He did not want his children to fear him and he didn't really think he had done anything to justify Johnny feeling that way towards him.

''Not frightened the way I am of my dad, the real hurty frightened, gonna throw up frightened. He's frightened like when you know you haven't done your homework and the teacher's gonna be mad,'' Jake clarified his point and Cal felt much better.

''Not like when you were little, not that kind of frightened,'' Jake told Cal in his own way that he had heard his confession after all.

Cal and Jake looked at each other, a shared experience uniting man and boy.

''You know that it's not okay for a grown up to make you that kind of frightened right?'' Cal asked and Jake nodded.

''So you and I need to make a deal. The deal is that if you ever feel that way again then you call me okay?'' Cal offered and Jake hesitated.

''I mean it. Knock knuckles and then it's a proper deal,'' Cal hardly recognised himself but somehow helping this boy deal with his abuse was vitally important. Cal had not had a guardian angel and he wanted to be Jake's, it would give him peace of mind and help him face his own demons.

They knocked and Cal felt a weight lift from his shoulders, a weight he had been unaware he had been carrying until that moment.

''About Johnny,'' Jake started tentatively.

''What about him? What has he done that's gonna make me angry? Something naughty?'' Cal asked with raised eyebrows and Jake began to nod but then changed his mind, he shook his head vigorously.

''Was that a yes or a no?'' Cal feigned confusion and he waited patiently as Jake chewed on his lip, considering his options which were limited.

''I gave him the gun, my dad gave it to me and I asked Johnny to look after it. He kept it a secret, took it home,'' Jake rushed out.

Cal couldn't stop his anger, Johnny had lied by omission and kept a gun in his bedroom which was not acceptable to Cal, not for any reason. He covered quickly but Jake saw it and his face flashed fear.

''It's alright Jake, I won't hurt you, you know that,'' Cal reassured and Jake relaxed.

''Right so he was helping out a friend then?'' Cal suggested and Jake nodded enthusiastically.

''Yeah, so he shouldn't be punished cos it wasn't his fault,'' Jake saw the light at the end of the tunnel which was good because he was getting thirsty. Cal appeared to consider his point and then he shifted around, looking closely at Jake.

''The thing is Jake, how old are you again?'' Cal asked and Jake looked puzzled.

''Nine, I'm nine, nearly ten,'' Jake replied with some pride.

''Johnny is twelve, quite a lot older than you and Johnny knows that guns are dangerous. He also knows that there are some things that you should tell grownups. Important things,'' Cal watched Jake's face and he pouted which made Cal smile.

''Do you know what a white lie is?'' Cal asked and Jake appeared uncertain.

''All lies are bad aren't they?'' Jake gave the expected response from a child of his age, he was just short of the time when kids start to understand the power of a cleverly executed piece of dishonesty.

''Not really, it's more complicated than that. White lies are small lies, lies about stuff that don't really matter, like when you tell your mum that her dress is nice but her bum looks huge, big and wobbly. You lie so you don't hurt her feelings and we all do that, '' Cal paused to wait for Jake to stop giggling.

''Then there's your black lies, the great big whoppers,'' Cal gesticulated with his hands,'' the type of lie that you should be punished for telling. The sort of lie that might mean someone gets hurt. Do you know what I mean?''

Cal caught Jake's eye and he looked down at his hands.

'' You with me here? I think you are, I know you get this,'' Cal patted Jake's arm and he looked guiltily up at him.

''Not telling about the gun was a black lie wasn't it?'' Jake admitted and Cal leaned forward.

''What do you reckon?'' Cal whispered and Jake shrugged.

'' I guess,'' he mumbled and Cal grinned, ruffling Jake's hair affectionately.

''Are you mad at Johnny now?'' Jake remembered that he had got his new friend in trouble.

''Don't worry about that, Johnny's always in strife. He's like a huge magnet that attracts trouble from all around,'' Cal winked at Jake and he giggled.

''He cusses real good,'' Jake was impressed, Cal wasn't and his expression told Jake that.

''You are mad. Johnny's gonna hate me now,'' Jake's face fell, fresh tears gathering.

Cal smiled indulgently, despite his desperate attempts to distance himself from this boy and his predicament, events had thrown them together and Cal liked him. He admired his strength and tenacity, Cal had to admit to himself that these were qualities he also possessed, maybe his childhood hadn't been a totally worthless experience after all? It had after all made him the man he was today.

''I said not to worry alright? Jono can be a little sod but underneath all the mayhem, he's a good boy and he will be glad you're okay,'' Cal reassured Jake who went very still.

''You're not gonna hurt him are you?'' Jake asked and Cal looked shocked but he reminded himself that Jake's opinion of men had been tainted by Ronnie's actions.

''I know you're not, I was just checking. Johnny said you were a good guy,'' Jake paused and Cal couldn't help but wonder if Johnny's opinion might change in the not too distant future.

''Are you gonna spank him?'' Jake asked, his eyes were brimming with anxiety and Cal wasn't sure how to answer his question because he didn't know what he was going to do about his son's constant misbehaviour.

''Is that what happens when you're naughty then?'' Cal pulled the conversation away from his family and back onto Jakes.

''Sometimes and I hate it,'' Jake replied fervently.

''I think that's the point boyzy. You know there is a difference between your mum or dad giving you a smack and how you got those bruises don't you?'' Cal watched him carefully and Jake nodded.

''Yeah I do. The bruises were bad, real bad. Ronnie scares me,'' Jake gulped at the memory and empathy overwhelmed Cal.

''He won't be allowed to hurt you again Jake. Not ever, I promise,'' Cal's words caused Jake's face to flash relief and belief.

''Can you keep a secret?'' Jake murmured and Cal nodded.

''I don't think my dad's a good guy,'' Jake's guilt and hurt shone through and Cal flinched, he reacted instinctively and pulled the boy into his arms as he began to cry.

''Your dad is sick but I am gonna make him better. He is a decent bloke Jake, he just has a secret and it's eating him up,'' Cal tried to explain and Jake sat up.

''He's told a lie, a black lie?'' Jake helped Cal out considerably as he made the connection for himself.

''Yep, a real whopper ,'' Cal was more convinced than ever that Jeff would recover as soon as he relieved himself of the awful secret he was burdened with.

''You should go talk to him,'' Jake said seriously and Cal rolled his eyes.

''Yeah well, I would but I'm too busy sitting under a desk with you,'' Cal gave him a playful nudge.

''Thanks Mr Lightman, Johnny's right, you are a good guy,'' Jake grasped Cal around the neck and squeezed. Cal patted him on the back awkwardly, uncomfortable as always with demonstrative affection, his children and Foster, the only exceptions to that rule. He relished being affectionate with them and Cal drew strength that he had thrown off that particular shackle, he could not recall sharing many hugs with his dad.

''No worries. You hungry cos I'm starving?'' Cal thought that was enough, he had a much clearer idea of what had gone on and he was feeling something almost approaching cheerful.

''Yeah, I am,'' Jake agreed.

''Come on then, let's get out of here. We can raid the vending machine,'' Cal gave Jake a gentle push in the right direction and he crawled in front of him.


	16. Chapter 16 Gill gets Tough with her Boys

Thank you for the reviews. This is a long one as I am going away on holiday. I'm off to Cornwall where King Arthur lived ( I know but its romantic alright?) beautiful place but weather will probably be crap and there will be no internet access so this will be your last instalment for a while, around two weeks or so!

Poor Gill gets a hard time in this one but hangs tough. It is all her really but the big talk is yet to come but it will come, believe me?

Still not sure about this but I've tried it so many different ways and this is the best version.

Let me know what you think.

Laters S X

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''Sit down, go on sit,'' Foster used a scary voice that Johnny had only ever heard directed at his dad.

''It was Jeff's gun, issued to him and should have been locked up,'' Reynolds came in, cell in hand.

''You wanna enlighten me why it wasn't where it was supposed to be?'' Reynolds directed the question to the silent, brooding boy.

''Dunno,'' Johnny shrugged. Reynolds sucked in a breath and then crouched down right in front of Johnny.

''Not really gonna cut it. You had the gun, how did that happen?'' Reynolds asked and Johnny glanced up at him.

''I found it,'' Johnny said, he knew that was lame but he didn't know what else to say. Foster tutted irritably and Johnny cringed when she glared furiously at him, Reynolds held his hand up towards her.

''Johnny, tell the truth please,'' Foster spoke anyway and Johnny frowned, he looked at his hands, not sure how he felt about Foster scolding him so openly. She was supposed to be the caring, sharing one, Johnny didn't think that was what she had in mind on this occasion.

''Johnny, you have to tell me what went down here, kid. I cannot protect you if you don't tell me the truth. Do you understand that?'' Reynolds coaxed and Foster watched him with interest, she had never thought Reynolds would be so good with kids, it was enlightening.

'' I know but if I tell you then someone else is going to get in trouble, big trouble,'' Johnny felt his eyes moistening, he was under some pressure here.

''What happened last time you lied for someone Johnny?'' Foster said something and Reynolds waited whilst her words sank in.

''I almost died,'' Johnny whispered and Reynolds quirked an eyebrow at him.

''Yes, that is exactly what happened so tell Ben where you got the gun and do it now! I, for one, am done playing games with you,'' Foster warned and Johnny read that she was as angry as his dad but she was more controlled which was worse somehow. It was like she was a ticking bomb, due to explode at any moment and Johnny knew he was her intended target.

''Who gave you the gun?'' Reynolds asked again, he had a fair idea but needed Johnny to provide details.

''Jake did. He was scared about what would happen to his dad cos he gave it to him so I said I would look after it,'' Johnny came clean and he was relieved when he did especially when Foster unfolded her arms.

''Thank you,'' Reynolds ruffled his hair and stood up.

''It won't be an issue for Johnny or Jake, it will go away. The army will deal with it regarding the father, that's outside my jurisdiction,'' Reynolds put Foster's mind at ease and she nodded gratefully.

''Thank you Ben, we appreciate it don't we Johnny?'' Foster prompted her surrogate son.

''Yeah thanks Ben,'' he mumbled into his chest.

''No problem tough guy although I can't help you out with your dad. You're headed for a world of pain and you're gonna have to suck it up. You deserve it, kid, need to start to use your head, grow up some. None of us want to have to keep picking up the pieces, you caught a break yet again but you're gonna run out of luck pretty soon, '' Reynolds reminded Johnny that this was not over. Foster held fire, Reynolds was right to put the fear of god into Johnny, on this occasion it was justified.

''I know,'' Johnny replied miserably.

''I'll give you guys some time,'' Reynolds left diplomatically and Foster closed the door behind him before turning back to glare at Johnny.

''When are you going to learn? What were you thinking? A gun Johnny, you had a gun!'' Foster let rip, she had never felt the urge to yell at a child before and somewhere deep down she realised that this was what being a parent was like, the fervent love went hand in hand with intense worry. It also meant there were occasions when you had to express your displeasure especially when your precious child risked their life.

''I am very disappointed in your behaviour, you lied and set a bad example for Jake. You are not a baby and you know the difference between right and wrong. It is not too much for us to expect you to use your brain in a situation like that. I am very upset with you Johnny,'' Foster was still restrained but her voice was raised and it left Johnny in no doubt that he was in disgrace.

''I know and I am sorry. I was helping Jake, I didn't think, he was upset so...'' Johnny shrugged and studied his feet steadfastly.

''Okay so we need to talk,'' Foster pulled up a chair and sat opposite Johnny, her knees touching his. She took his hands and he looked up, his eyes filled with shame.

''Yes you should look at me that way, young man. This must stop and it must stop now,'' Foster's eyes flashed and Johnny sighed, her displeasure weighing heavily.

''I know that you think you're a grown up and I also know that you see how your dad is, how he helps people and you want to be like him. But and this is an important but, you are still only a little boy and that means you cannot do all those things. Maybe one day but not yet,'' Foster took a breath and Johnny looked about to protest but she silenced him with a gentle finger on his lips.

''Plus you have to understand that there are times when you must tell the truth. You are a clever boy, I know you are and you have to realise there are occasions when you need an adult's help. If you are not sure then you ask me or your dad but we have to be able to trust you to do the right thing. Can we?'' Foster dipped her head and pulled back the golden bangs so she could see his face.

''Yeah, it was just that Jake asked and I like him,'' Johnny struggled to explain.

''Honey, I know you were doing what you thought was helpful but lying for someone can hurt them more than it helps. Somebody could have been hurt or even killed today. Do you understand that?'' Foster squeezed his hand.

''But I stopped him, he was going to hurt you. I couldn't just stand there and watch could I?'' Johnny exclaimed indignantly and Foster closed her eyes to gather herself.

''He might have shot you Johnny, if Jeff hadn't jumped him then he could have killed you. You said yourself the gun wasn't loaded so you couldn't protect yourself, you just made yourself a target. Do you have any idea what it would do to your dad, to Emily, to me if anything happened to you?'' Foster remembered those terrible days when they had lived that particular nightmare and her eyes filled with unbidden tears.

''I'm sorry, don't cry, please don't cry,'' Johnny was mortified and before Foster knew it, he leaned over and wiped away her tears with his grumpy sleeve. It was such a touching and intimate gesture that Foster was momentarily over whelmed. She loved this child like her own and there was no way she could leave him, not ever and Foster knew in her heart she felt the same way about his father.

''Promise me that if you won't speak to me or your dad then you will talk to Emily, please Johnny,'' Foster recovered herself and she placed her cool palm on his flushed cheek to emphasise her point.

''I promise,'' he whispered, his eyes still showing his anxiety about her tears.

''Thank you,'' Foster sniffed and composed herself wiping several tears surreptitiously away. She smiled at Johnny and he smiled shyly back.

''Now there is the slight problem of your father,'' she leaned forward and Johnny's face filled with dread.

''He's gonna kill me isn't he?''

''He is very upset Johnny and he has every right to be. You made a bad choice, a series of bad choices and that is becoming a pattern. You knew that there would be a consequence didn't you?'' Foster toughed it out, she had vented her spleen and the temptation was to go easier but Johnny's history told her that was a bad idea.

''Will you talk to him for me?'' Johnny asked and Foster stared sternly at him.

''Alright, alright, I know. Tell the truth, say I'm sorry and take the hit, that's what you're saying isn't it?'' Johnny rolled his eyes and Foster pursed her lips.

'' He's so aggro all the time, why does he have to be like that?'' Johnny whined and Foster felt her temper rising again.

''Stop with the attitude, young man. He is your father and you have to mind him. That's how it has to be, he is responsible and he is trying to look after you. How can he do that if you keep acting out and refuse to meet him half way? You drive him crazy, you drive us all crazy!'' Foster expressed her frustration.

''Alright, I get it. Do what dad says, do you mean even when he's being a pillock cos he is a pillock a lot you know?'' Johnny was cheeky and Foster couldn't stop her smile. Johnny was right, there were definitely occasions when Cal could be trying, very trying.

''See, you know he is,'' Johnny enjoyed catching her out.

''Yes, even then,'' Foster patted his hand and stood up.

''Gill?'' something in Johnny's tone made her freeze.

''What honey?'' Foster knew they needed to go and do some work.

''Do you love dad?'' Johnny had to ask and Foster stiffened.

''Remember you said that you have to tell the truth,'' Johnny turned her own words back on her.

''Yes Johnny, I love your father,'' Foster admitted, her face reddening. Johnny's face lit up with delight. Their eyes locked and it was a moment to cherish, a moment which meant for Foster there was no going back, not that she wanted to, not then anyway.

Cal walked in, breaking the silent accord and he did a double take when he saw Johnny's face.

''Right and you have the cheek to criticise my child rearing skills?'' Cal called Foster on the fact that instead of a contrite, repentant boy he was faced with Johnny looking as if it was Christmas.

''Cal, '' Foster didn't know what to say so she just went quiet.

''Right, thanks. Very enlightening,'' Cal dismissed her and turned to his wayward son. He crouched down in front of him and Johnny wondered if they had all read the same parenting books.

''Okay boyzy, I've got a handle on this now, your mate Jake dropped you right in it, he told the truth unlike you. So this is what is gonna happen, you are going to stay right here, you are not allowed to move from this office, we clear?'' Cal quirked an enquiring eyebrow and Johnny nodded.

''What? I didn't hear that,'' Cal cocked his ear and Johnny mumbled his agreement.

''Good, when I get back, we are going home and then we will strip your bedroom of all those loud electronic things you're so obsessed with. I will leave you some books but everything else is gone for a month,'' Cal stood up and Johnny followed him with baffled eyes.

''That's it? I'm grounded for a month and I lose my stuff. That's all you're gonna do?'' Johnny hadn't expected that and neither had Foster.

''What isn't a month long enough? Fancy going for six weeks?'' Cal suggested and Johnny shook his head.

''No, a month's good, a month is fine, just fine,'' Johnny blurted out.

''Right so that's not what I was looking for. Maybe a little remorse, some begging perhaps?'' Cal winked at Foster, he definitely winked.

''I'm sorry, I am really, really sorry and I won't ever do anything like that again,'' Johnny rushed out and Cal nodded, seemingly satisfied.

''Plus I get it, you were looking out for a mate which is a good thing. We do dodgy stuff for our mates don't we? '' Cal shrugged and Foster struggled to hold her tongue as she watched on in disbelief. Where the hell was the Cal Lightman she loved and hated in equal measure?

Johnny was starting to sense that he might just escape relatively unscathed from this escapade. He could see in his father's face that he was angry, but he appeared to reluctant to deliver any meaningful sanction. Johnny shot Foster a cocky smile, she had been way off. He had done the right thing, his dad's apparent acceptance confirmed that.

Foster was completely bemused, Cal had barely even scolded Johnny, it was a totally inadequate response and Johnny's face told the story, he had got away with it and all of Foster's hard work was for nothing. Cal had completely undermined her and Johnny was free to carry on as he was.

''Oh and we will be talking, well I'll be talking and you can listen. It will be a long talk and when I'm done you will be fed up with the sound of my voice but you know, them's the breaks. Shall we?'' Cal held his hand up to let Foster go first.

''Cal, you went a little easy on him didn't you?'' Foster voiced her concerns as they walked down the corridor towards the lab. On this particular occasion, Foster felt that Johnny deserved to suffer his father's wrath, it was a bizarre switch of positions as she was usually the voice of restraint.

''What do you think I should have done? Yelled and screamed? Hit him? I thought that was damaging and destructive?'' Cal vented towards her and Foster threw him a withering glare.

''I am not suggesting any of those things but on this particular occasion, I do think you should punish him more than you have. His behaviour was deceitful and downright dangerous, Cal. We have been here before and I, for one, don't want to suffer a repeat do you?'' Foster held firm and Cal became very agitated.

''Unbelievable, completely unbelievable. Bloody women, never happy,'' he muttered to the ground as he attempted some restraint. He looked up and there was a challenge flashing in his eyes.

''What happened to going easy on him, letting him explain? Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure that's what you said to me fifteen minutes ago or did I imagine that?'' Cal was defensive and aggressive which didn't faze Foster, she was accustomed to him reacting this way when he felt cornered.

''Yes, I did say that but I didn't mean that you should condone his behaviour which is exactly what you just did,'' Foster stood her ground and Cal shook his head in despair.

''Oh for God's sake,'' Cal rolled his eyes and sucked in his cheeks, he was covering his insecurity and it unsettled Foster.

''Cal, what's wrong? You have never had a problem disciplining either of the kids before. Why have you got a problem now? This time, he deserved you coming down on him and you backed down, what kind of message is that giving out? You saw his face in there. He was relieved and not in the least bit remorseful, he showed triumph. I saw it and I know you did as well,'' Foster raged.

Foster had learnt much about being a parent recently and one thing she knew for sure was that books, experts, studies were all too simplistic and did not reflect reality. It explained her complete turnaround, she applied common sense these days and to her, this was common sense.

''Foster, I did what I thought was right okay? He is sorry, I know he is,'' Cal gave back a weak argument, he knew she was making a valid point but he couldn't bring himself to be any more punitive. The reawakened memories of his childhood and the icy hand of fear that had constantly gripped his heart back then was haunting him and clouding his judgement. He required some help as he was beset with contradictions so he was turning to the one person he trusted.

''Yes, he WAS sorry but now he feels vindicated, you justified what he did. I spoke to him and he knew he was in the wrong but he needed you to reinforce that point. I needed you to back me up,'' Foster continued the tirade.

''You wanted me to be your bad cop for you, well I am sorry I disappointed you,'' they were now toe to toe.

''Aren't you going to tell me to mind my own business? That he's your son not mine,'' Foster had to ask because that was the first defence she had expected. Cal's face showed many emotions, anger, resentment, fear even and then acquiescence followed swiftly by love.

''No, I have no intention of saying that to you because it's not true is it love? I'm all about the truth and the truth is that you are in all but name and DNA that boy's mother,'' Cal took her breath away with his intensity and sincerity.

''Exactly,'' she managed to force out. Cal shuffled away from her and ran an irritated hand through his hair.

''So what wonderful suggestion have you got? Should I start a star chart for him?'' He smiled, the mocking tone back and Foster then found herself in a tricky position because she didn't really know.

''Cal, come on, be serious. I am on your side,'' Foster replied helplessly. Cal looked ashamed of himself just for a split second before it disappeared without a trace.

''Fair enough, we probably should discuss this although I have to say, love, I wasn't expecting you to advocate the tough love thing. That I really wasn't expecting,'' Cal chuckled and Foster smiled wryly.

''I'm not saying that you should beat the living daylights out of him as you so eloquently say but he has to understand there are very real consequences to actions. He likes being at home and I know you Cal. He will drive you crazy and before you know it, he'll have his X Box and all that other stuff back. That boy can wrap you around his little finger better than even Emily, '' she said pointedly and Cal pulled a face.

''So a little more than a slap on the wrist or a cushdy grounding is your opinion then?'' Cal looked up and Foster nodded. Foster saw something in his face, a satisfaction as if he had needed Foster's permission, as if he had required it before doing what he wanted to do all along.

Foster had the distinct impression that yet again Cal Lightman had manipulated her although the fact that he had sought her opinion, even in this underhand way, was a revelation

''So what are you going to do then?'' Foster began to feel guilty, she still wasn't comfortable with physical chastisement but she had to admit that appeared to be Cal's only real option.

''Oi, oi, not feeling so sure now are you? The theory much easier than the practice? '' Cal was being annoyingly smug so Foster glowered at him.

''Fine, if you want me to say it then I will say it. I think you should spank him, I think that is the only way he will think before he acts next time. Happy now?'' Foster crossed her arms which illustrated her own unhappiness far better than words could.

''Not really but like you said, it's probably the only thing boyzy will take much notice of. He can be a cocky little sod and I haven't helped much have I?'' Cal took responsibility and Foster's head was swimming, there were times when talking to this man was like riding a rollercoaster.

''No, you haven't although I understand it's easy for me because I don't have to do it do I?'' Foster owned up to the fault in her logic.

''Psk, that doesn't bother me, it's not much fun but whatever. What bothers me is how it makes him feel towards me afterwards,'' Cal admitted his concerns and Foster's face filled with compassion. Then she knew that he was unsure of himself and he required her support, her reassurance. Foster was blown away but controlled herself.

''Jake is not Johnny Cal. Their lives are very different, we both know the over the top hero worship Jake exhibits is borne from insecurity and the need to ingratiate himself with Jeff. That is not healthy, what you have with Johnny is much, more secure,'' Foster reasoned.

Foster was right, Johnny was not Jake and he certainly wasn't Cal, he wasn't an abused and neglected boy. Sophie had not been the most attentive of mothers but Cal had stepped in to raise his son and provided a safe and secure home for him. However, Johnny was a wilful and disobedient child, a boy whose behaviour could be so self destructive that it was likely to cause harm to himself and those around him. Cal recalled Reynolds pointing out that Johnny was not a cat and did not have nine lives.

''Right so the fact he snarls at me most of the time is a good thing, that's what you're saying is it?'' Cal chuckled as his eyes danced.

''He does not snarl at you,'' Foster shook her head with an amused smile.

''Uuuh yeah he does but that's okay I can live with that. I snarl at people too, must be in our genes I s'pose,'' Cal was much more reflective than he had been only a few minutes previously.

''He only does that because he trusts you and he is not afraid of you Cal. Yes, he is fearful of the consequences when he does something wrong but that's completely normal, you know that,'' Foster talked him around, she was unsure why Cal was so vulnerable but she sensed that it was connected to Jake in some way.

''You know what this is don't you love?'' Cal gestured between them and Foster blushed.

''This is us being parents together,'' she said softly and Cal smirked.

''Yeah, it is,'' he replied with pleasure in his voice.

''So that's what we are now and what we are going to be in the future then?'' Foster asked bravely but Cal didn't answer her question immediately. Suddenly, Foster felt uncertain again, there was something she didn't know, something she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

''I hope so love but we need to talk and pretty soon,'' Cal's serious tone made Foster's blood run cold but her pride made her hide it although Cal knew. His face was guarded and Foster didn't know how to interpret his mood.

''Look, we have to wrap up this case then I will sort out boyzy, properly this time. We'll have dinner later, Em can babysit,'' Cal suggested and Foster nodded. She was happy to leave this to one side for now, bury herself in other people's lives so she didn't have to deal with hers.

''Come on love, we have work to do. Little boy needs his dad back,'' Cal held the door for her and Foster walked into the lab.


	17. Chapter 17 The Pain

I'm home. Cornwall was great, weather was good at first but then the rain set in and just didn't stop so we came home. Did lots of body boarding ( don't you love wet suits?) watched Shakespeare on the cliffs with the dolphins and seals playing in the sea as a background. Drank Cornish cider and went on a ghost hunt in an old tin mine ( heard foot steps, well creepy!), got attacked by seagulls in St Ives whilst taking in modern art ( at The Tate) and looked at amazing sculptures in the Brabara Hepworth garden so all in a good holiday.

This is a very complicated chapter, hope I managed to do the emotions justice. If I didn't, I apologise. Thanks for the reviews, some more would be great. Same old problem, high hits, low reviews. However, the reviews I get are high quality so don't want to appear ungrateful.

You all rock!

Laters S X

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''So the Captain used an air strike to cover up friendly fire then?'' Cal held the door open for Foster and they were both in buoyant mood.

''Yes, Jeff couldn't handle the cover up, it explains everything. We did a good job,'' Foster was feeling pretty satisfied with how it had panned out.

''Yeah love, we did,'' Cal slung his arm around her shoulders.

''So do you think the family will recover, will Jeff be able to make it work again?'' Foster asked and Cal shrugged.

''Not sure love but Jake is a sound kid and loves his dad. He'll forgive him, get over it,'' Cal stopped and grimaced.

''You okay?'' Foster rubbed his arm and he nodded.

''What Johnny did was really bloody stupid wasn't it? The more I think about it, the more stupid it gets,'' Cal reminded himself and Foster rolled her eyes.

''Do you think?'' She laughed lightly.

''Yeah, need to get that sorted. Little git thinks he's some kind of a hero and I think we've just proved being a hero isn't all it's cracked up to be,'' Cal looked up as Emily burst through the door.

''Dad, Gill, are you okay?'' Emily was beside herself and Cal sucked in his lips.

''Ooops, should have called Em,'' Cal said under his breath to Foster.

''It was on the news dad, I thought you were hurt but now I know you're not, no thanks to you,'' Emily heard him and slapped his arm.

''Sorry love, got caught up. We solved the case though?'' Cal asked for forgiveness and Emily tutted.

''Well that's okay then. Never mind that I've been going crazy trying to get in here,'' Emily forgave him as she always did.

''We going home? Where's Johnny?'' Emily asked as she linked arms with Cal.

''Yeah, we're going home. Need a favour though Em, gonna need you to get lost for an hour or so. I have something I need to do,'' Cal winked at Foster.

''What? What do you have to do that I can't be at home?'' Emily was offended.

''Can you babysit later? I'll pay you,'' Cal used hard cash to buy Emily's cooperation and she faltered despite her curiosity.

''Now?'' Emily held her hand out and Cal laughed.

''Em, usually you get paid when you've done the work not before,'' Cal was already pulling out his wallet.

''It's an advance and anyways if you are banning me from my own home it's the least you can do. I'll meet my friends for a shake, it would be good to see them,'' Emily looked tired and Cal placed his hand on her cheek with concern.

''How's Bailey love?'' he asked and Emily instantly smiled.

''He's real good but bored. I've been playing video games all afternoon and now you tell me I have to do the same thing all evening as well so you owe me big time. What is it with boys and video games? They're obsessed,'' Emily's face didn't match her grumpy tone. She was thrilled with Bailey's progress, her expression was a mix of love and relief.

''No video games, Johnny will be going straight to bed after dinner. It will be the easiest money you've ever earned,'' Cal placed too much money in her hand.

''Oh right, have you told him that? Cos he won't do it if I tell him,'' Emily was alerted by the underlying tone in her dad's voice.

''Yeah he will, don't worry about it. I can guarantee he won't give you any trouble,'' Cal said firmly and Emily's eyes widened. She looked towards Foster who remained impassive.

''What did he do?'' Emily had to ask.

''Sorry Em, between me and him this one. Gill, I'll pick you around eight okay? See you later love,'' Cal kissed Emily on the cheek and squeezed Foster's hand before swaggering away.

''Johnny's really gonna catch it, dad is mad as hell,'' Emily said as she watched him disappear into his office.

''He deserves it honey, just trust your dad okay? He knows what he's doing. Can I give you a ride?'' Foster asked and Emily nodded.

''That would be good. So you guys are going to dinner then?'' Emily asked as they walked.

''Yes,'' Foster replied without embellishment, another recently acquired parenting skill, children did not need to know all the details of your life.

''Good, I'm glad,'' Emily gave her approval and Foster merely nodded, if only it was that simple. Her gut was screaming at her and she was dreading the forthcoming intimate dinner as her suspicions grew ever larger by the second.

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''Change of plan boyzy,'' Cal swaggered into the room and Johnny sat up abruptly where he was lying on the couch watching TV.

''This goes off. Engrave it on your memory, it's gonna be a while before you watch one of these again,'' Cal clicked off the TV and Johnny knew that he had been way too previous with the relief, his real dad was back and he was back big time.

''I know, a month right?'' Johnny hid his alarm with yawn.

''That's right, a whole month. Let's go,'' Cal pulled Johnny off the couch by the arm and there was something in his eye that made Johnny's stomach do that double flip thing again.

''Alright, I can do it by myself,'' Johnny yanked his arm away.

''Know that, just hurrying you up. We need to have our talk and I'm going out so we need to get a move on. Come on, shift yourself,'' Cal flicked his head and Johnny got a bad feeling, a really bad feeling.

''Right, the talk,'' he mumbled, his dad could talk a lot and Johnny wasn't looking forward to it much.

''Oh yeah about that, not gonna be just talking after all,'' Cal took his hand and Johnny didn't protest, he knew better. He understood the implication of his father's words and he tried to hang back but Cal wasn't having any of it. They were in the car on their way home before Johnny could catch his breath.

The atmosphere in the car was tense and Johnny kept glancing at Cal who was very quiet, it was a bad sign, Cal was never quiet.

''Dad, I..'' Johnny had to break the silence, it was driving him mad.

''Sssh, no talking. You can spend the time thinking about what was wrong with what you did today and how you will never do it again,'' Cal held a finger up and Johnny cringed.

Johnny dragged his feet into the house or at least he would have but Cal had other ideas. He walked back and took his son's hand again, so he could march him into the empty house.

''Where's Em?'' Johnny looked around nervously. Cal dumped his keys and then pulled out a chair.

''Sit down,'' Cal gestured and Johnny sat. Cal leaned back against the work top and crossed his arms.

''You know Johnny, boys are very different from girls. Emily can be a right pain in the arse and she does some things that really piss me off which then means that we get into it and she always loses. Have you ever noticed that?'' Cal paused and Johnny nodded as he thought that was probably what he should do.

''The thing is with Em, I ground her, get her to clean my office or some other nasty task I can think of and she learns her lesson. Then we talk and we come to a compromise. It's a long process but it works, it's how it's always worked with us,'' Cal sipped some water and Johnny waited, his feeling of dread growing ever more intense.

''So when you turned up, I applied the same approach. It became pretty clear quite quickly that it didn't really work that well on you. So you know I adapted, got more in your face than I have to with Em and it worked a little better. So when this all happened and you kept a gun in your room, lied to me about it and then aimed it at someone, I didn't really know how to respond,'' Cal stopped when Johnny looked at him with surprise.

''That surprises you, yeah me too. So I've had some time to think about it, do you think a month's grounding is an appropriate punishment for possessing and concealing a gun?'' Cal asked and Johnny gulped.

''Dunno,'' Johnny wasn't going to sign his own death warrant.

''Don't you? The state doesn't think so, they would put you away for a lot longer than a month. Do you have any idea of the consequences of you being found by a cop with a gun at school, in the street, in your bedroom?'' Cal was growing in confidence as he spoke, Foster had been right and Cal couldn't fathom what he had been thinking.

''No, not really,'' Johnny's throat was very dry and fear was now his dominant emotion, his dad was leading up to something and Johnny had a fair idea what it was. He had never actually been spanked before, his dad swatted him occasionally but this was something else altogether and Johnny thought he might actually cry.

''A lot more than losing some fancy electronic rubbish for a month so I have had a change of heart,'' Cal put the water down and crouched down in front of Johnny.

''You're scared which I don't really like. I am supposed to protect you from that not cause it but however scared you are now, it is nothing compared to how scared you would be in a juvenile detention facility. I know, I've been inside one and I don't want to ever visit for any reason other than professional. You with me still?'' Cal cuffed the side of Johnny's head as he refused to catch Cal's eye. His head shot up.

''You look at me when I'm talking to you boyzy otherwise I can't tell if you're listening,'' Cal registered the tears but didn't weaken.

''I am listening. I am, honest,'' Johnny insisted and Cal pursed his lips.

''You want to son because this isn't some stupid joke, a scuffle with a mate or giving your teachers lip. This is more your Premier League type of crime. We had the incident with your mum and I really thought that taught you something but I was wrong. I let that go but it was a mistake because what I forgot is that you are a twelve year old boy and they have no sense, I know I was one once,'' Cal put his head on one side and looked Johnny in the eye and there it was, shame and remorse.

''Don't want to do this boyzy but you need it. You have to be know that if you don't make the right choices when it comes to the big things that I'm gonna be pissed off with you and I will punish you in a way that bothers you, makes you think twice,'' Cal stood up and Johnny watched him all the way.

Cal gestured with his hand and Johnny stood up very slowly, unsure what was going to happen next.

Cal took his arm and Johnny looked at him, fear shining in his eyes and Cal hesitated, he couldn't do this. In his head, he knew that Johnny was on the edge of out of control but it was just too close, too painful. Cal let his son go with a sharp gasp of frustration.

Johnny rubbed his arm and looked curiously at his father who was staring at him with unseeing eyes, Cal was no longer in the room and Johnny knew it.

''Are you okay?'' Johnny felt his world wobble as he watched the faraway expression on Cal's face.

''What?'' Cal jumped as he was jolted back to the present, their eyes locked and Johnny waited, waited for his father to fall apart just the way all the adults in his young life eventually did.

''Are you alright?'' Johnny asked again and Cal appeared weary, worn out. Johnny wondered if he had broken him, had he managed to do something that many had attempted in the past and now he had been successful. Then Cal did something that Johnny really didn't expect, he laughed.

''What's funny?'' Johnny asked in a choked voice and Cal grinned.

''Me son, I'm what's funny. What do you reckon is going on here exactly?'' Cal made a circle with his hand and Johnny began to chew the side of his cheek, this was his mum all over again. His dad was having an episode, that could be the only explanation.

''Sorry,'' Cal said suddenly and Johnny frowned.

''I'm really freaking you out aren't I? I don't wanna do that but this is... this is..'' Cal couldn't articulate it. He had been fine with a daughter but having a son, dealing with a boy was like opening a wound, a wound that Cal had believed he had cauterised a long time ago. He tucked his hands in his pockets and rocked on his feet staring at the ground.

''It's cos of granddad isn't it?'' Johnny stepped back as he spoke and Cal's head jolted up.

''I saw it on that picture thingy you had on the computer, you were scared of him, you still are,'' Johnny mumbled and for a moment, there was nothing but a tense buzz flying around the room.

''Yeah, I s'pose I am,'' Cal said to himself and Johnny frowned as he braced himself for the inevitable crisis.

''How are you feeling right now?'' Cal asked from nowhere and Johnny gulped, a movement he saw Cal's eyes follow. Cal saw the fear and he wanted to know what had provoked it, he had to know if his own son was genuinely terrified of him the way he had been of his own father.

''Don't lie son,'' Cal said and Johnny tried to think fast, how could he avert this apocalypse?

''I'm frightened that you're gonna have a fit just like mum always did,'' Johnny answered honestly.

Cal didn't hesitate, he walked straight over to his boy, ignoring the youngster's flinch and hugged him fiercely.

''I am not your mother, I am not going to flip out on you. Do you hear me?'' Cal looked earnestly into Johnny's face and was relieved when Johnny nodded, Cal could see he believed him.

''I'm not scared of you, dad. I know you said I was before but I'm not, not properly,'' Johnny was perceptive and read Cal's greatest fear. He forgot self preservation and repeated the same sentiment expressed by Jake in an effort to help his father. Cal considered his words for a second and then appeared to gather himself.

''You have no reason to be boyzy because I would never hurt you and I will always be here for you okay? I am not going to fall apart anytime soon,'' Cal checked and Johnny's face flashed relief, which meant he believed him.

''Although I've gotta say, the gun thing is not good and at this precise moment you should be a little scared cos I am pretty pissed off,'' Cal said and Johnny's face fell.

''So define hurt then?'' Johnny was bright and put Cal on the spot.

''You're good kiddo, very good but no match for me. '' Cal let Johnny move away from him as he acknowledged to himself that Johnny was now focussed on how to wriggle out of any further punishment. It was healthy and a normal response in the circumstances.

''So you're not a fuck up like mum, that's great and all that but you're still having a go at me aren't you?'' Johnny positioned himself a safe distance.

''There I was thinking that I couldn't do this and yet somehow you make it so easy,'' Cal took the decision as he remembered Gillian's words, Johnny was not Jake and he most definitely was not him.

''You son have pushed your luck and now you're doing it even more. Yes, there is a history with your granddad but that's has nothing to do with us. So what do you have to say about the gun and the lying?'' Cal felt able to deal with this now that he had compartmentalised his own issues.

''Sorry,'' Johnny shrugged as he didn't have much else to run with.

''Doesn't help much boyzy, you got anything better?'' Cal walked around the counter and stared down at Johnny who shrugged again.

''Thanks, that really helps. I would say that this is gonna hurt me more than it is you but that wouldn't be true and you know how I hate lying,'' Cal said as he took Johnny's arm, his intention clear.

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Emily came into the house nervously, she was still uncertain why she had been banished for an hour but she reasoned it probably wasn't good.

''Hey dad,'' Emily found Cal cooking in the kitchen.

''Alright love, enjoy yourself?'' Cal sipped his beer as he stirred the pasta sauce.

''Yeah, it was good. It's real quiet in here. Where's my little bro?'' Emily asked watching Cal carefully.

''He's in his room love, feeling sorry for himself. Leave him alone, he's upset,'' Cal didn't miss a beat and Emily whistled.

''Whoa, so you actually did it then. Wow dad, didn't see that coming,'' Emily teased Cal who gave a sardonic laugh.

''Yeah well, neither did I but he's a little sod and I love him so couldn't turn a blind eye could I?'' Cal shrugged. In many ways he felt relieved, he had done what was needed and the world had not ended. Johnny was upset with him but their relationship was not damaged, Cal had read that and for once his talent provided comfort.

''I heard dad and for the record he had it coming. I'm surprised though cos you've never spanked me and I could be a real brat when I was little,'' Emily bit some carrot.

''You are not your brother Emily, he's just one of those kids. Won't behave himself unless someone makes him and that honour falls to me. I was one of those kids too,'' Cal admitted.

''Oh I didn't know that. Right, okay,'' Emily saw something in her father's stance that warned her to leave it at that.

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''Jono, you okay?'' Emily stood at her brother's bedroom door, he was packing his computer games in a box and shrugged without looking at her.

Emily sighed and entered the room, sitting on the edge of his bed.

''Come talk to me, come on,'' Emily beckoned him over and Johnny looked up. His eyes were red but other than that he looked in one piece.

''Don't wanna talk, Em,'' he mumbled and Emily smiled.

''Yeah you do,'' Emily patted the bed beside her and Johnny gave up in the face of the greater force that was his sister.

Johnny slouched down beside her, his head hanging and his hair covering his face. Emily put her arm around him and he leaned into her.

''Dad give you a hard time huh?'' Emily asked as she tried to see his face underneath all the hair.

''Yeah, he's a wanker and I hate him,'' Johnny muttered unconvincingly. He was eaten up with normal childish resentment at what he viewed as an unfair and overly harsh punishment but he was also secure in the knowledge that his father was not going to collapse the way his mother had. He now knew Cal would always be there for him, through the good and the bad.

''Yeah right, don't let him hear you or you'll end up catching it again,'' Emily smiled, Johnny was sulking but Emily wasn't surprised, she would sulk too.

''Didn't think he would do that, not properly. It really friggin' hurt, it still hurts, '' Johnny grumbled, he raised his head and blew out a faltering breath. He was struggling not to cry again which made him feel stupid in front of Emily.

''Jono, cut it out, don't be such a baby. He's dad and he has a fuse, he's been real patient but you pushed him way too far. He's a good dad and you know it, '' Emily began to talk him around and she saw in Johnny's face that he was, begrudgingly, listening to her.

''He doesn't want you to get hurt and you have to admit that you could have gotten hurt today,'' Emily pushed the point and Johnny nodded reluctantly.

''He could have just told me that,'' he replied sullenly. Emily ruffled his hair and he pushed her hand away irritably, Emily laughed.

''Wow, you are grouchy. Dad has tried Jono but you don't listen. Why don't you try listening sometimes? He does talks sense amongst all the crap,'' Emily suggested and Johnny shrugged.

''Gill talks to me, she gets me,'' Johnny held onto the other dependable adult in his life as he was mad with the other one.

''Yeah she does but don't you think she knew what dad was going to do? She didn't stop him did she? We both know if she didn't agree with him, she would have stopped him. She is the only one who could have and she didn't,'' Emily was gentle and the light of realisation came on in Johnny's eyes.

''She let him?'' Johnny was confused but then he remembered the talk he'd had with Foster and he knew it was true.

''Now do you see how bad what you did was? If even Foster is pissed with you then it doesn't get much worse does it?'' Emily got to her point and Johnny cringed.

''I need to say sorry to her and dad don't I?'' Johnny admitted.

''Yeah you do and some. Plus you have to mean it and start thinking. Don't want to lose you little bro cos I love yer,'' Emily gently cuffed his head and stood up, her work done here.

''Don't worry, we'll watch TV. I'm in charge tonight,'' Emily used bribery to make him feel better.

''Why?'' Johnny was mystified.

''Cos dad is taking Gill out for dinner that's why,'' Emily saw the smile that lit up Johnny's eyes.

''Yeah, I thought you'd like that. Finish up, dinner's soon,'' Emily left a much happier sibling behind her.

XyXyXyXy

Cal realised he was being watched and he looked up, surprised to find Johnny standing in the doorway.

''And what can I do for you?'' Cal thought they were going to get into round two of this battle of wills but he was wrong.

''Don't tell her. Please dad, don't,'' Johnny said and Cal grimaced. He didn't want to discuss this with his child but he had little choice.

''Didn't you learn anything today, son?'' Cal asked mildly as he pulled some plates from the cabinet.

''Yeah, I learnt that you're stronger than you look,'' Johnny replied with a smile and Cal returned it.

''Anything else?'' he drained the pasta and Johnny sat down on the opposite side of the counter.

''Gill told me that you should always tell the truth but I think that's bollocks. If you tell Gill about Zoe then she will be really upset, so upset that she will blank you. She's like that, dad. I don't want you to tell her,'' Johnny stated, his plea heartfelt.

''Language son,'' Cal admonished and Johnny rolled his eyes.

''So you're just gonna ignore what I just said then?'' Johnny stayed on task.

''Jono, whatever happens between us is nothing to do with you and Gill. It's separate,'' Cal dished up the food but he registered the anguish on his son's face.

''That's not true, dad. You're saying that to make me feel better but it isn't true. Plus if you don't end up with Gill, then you'll meet some slapper that we'll have to be nice to,'' Johnny overstepped the mark.

''Jono,'' Cal warned quietly and Johnny blushed.

''Sorry but it's true. She's pregnant dad, as in having a baby, your baby. It'll be our brother or sister, don't you want to be normal with at least one of your kids?'' Johnny looked down at the plate of food that Cal put in front of him with disgust.

''I have normal Jono, well as normal as it gets for most people. There isn't really any such thing as normal these days,'' Cal was reeling, it was difficult not to see where Johnny was coming from. He was articulating Cal's greatest fear but he knew that he had to start this relationship honestly if it was going to have any chance of succeeding.

''You know what I mean dad,'' Johnny pushed the plate away and Cal pushed it back again.

''Eat your dinner Johnny and stop getting all stressed out. It'll work out,'' Cal kissed him on the forehead and placed a fork in his hand.

''Call your sister for dinner. I'm going to get changed,'' Cal left the room without giving Johnny an opportunity to reply.


	18. Chapter 18 The Anguish

Thanks for the reviews, I was relieved that you all seemed to agree with Cal's actions. This is a tricky chapter and will probably result in some people yelling at me. I think its in keeping with the characters.

Oh by the way, Marmite is yeast extract. Australians eat Vegemite but the British are pretty much raised on Marmite although it provokes powerful emotions for what is really just something you put on bread. You either love it with a passion or hate it with equal passion. I love it and if I don't have boiled egg, Marmite soldiers and a cup of tea on a Saturday morning, the whole weekend is mucked up. I'm a simple soul as you might have guessed.

Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Laters S X

XyXyXyXy

''What are you doing?'' Emily asked as Johnny put some bread into the toaster.

''I'm fed up of pasta, I don't even like it so I'm having some toast,'' Johnny pulled some butter from the fridge and opened the marmite.

''You eat that stuff all the time and its gross,'' Emily ate her dinner which in her opinion was good, Cal was a decent cook.

''Yeah well Em, Marmite's just like your mum. Either you hate it or you love it,'' Johnny smirked and Emily rolled her eyes.

''No prizes for guessing which one applies to you,'' Emily knew she should be offended but Johnny had valid reasons.

''Yeah right, can't stand her but I don't think she would be bothered,'' Johnny poured himself some milk and then sat up on the counter shoving in half a sandwich in one go. His sandwich was gone in two gulps and he looked around for something else to fill the hole. He didn't even consider eating the meal that was going cold nearby. Emily knew what he was doing, in his childish way he was punishing Cal by rejecting sustenance provided by him.

''Dad pays for all the food you know so you're not really achieving your aim,'' Emily remarked caustically.

''Dunno what you're on about,'' Johnny stood up on the counter to look for the cookies which were stored in the high cabinets, as far from his reach as possible.

'' Yeah right, sure you don't. I'll get that shall I?'' Emily went to answer the door as Johnny was too busy wrecking the kitchen.

Cal walked in and did a double take, he decided not to over react although he wasn't about to ignore it completely.

''Oi, what are you doing? You haven't even touched this which I went to a lot of trouble making,'' Cal gestured towards the discarded dinner whilst he fixed his collar.

''Hey,'' Foster wafted in, looking amazing and both of the males in the room were transfixed. Emily laughed and raised her eyebrows at Gillian who busied herself with Cal's collar as he was making a right pig's ear of it.

''Are you supposed to be up there?'' Foster asked with amusement and Cal jolted out of his trance.

''No, he bloody isn't. Get down and eat your dinner,'' Cal barked before kissing Foster softly on the cheek.

''Nice dress,'' he said with a glint as he pulled away.

''Thank you,'' Foster acknowledged the compliment with a deep blush.

''I've had dinner. I want some biscuits,'' Johnny resumed his rifling and Foster suppressed a giggle, Cal shrugged on his jacket.

''Jono, get down from there before you break your bloody neck. You are not having biscuits unless you eat some proper food including all the vegetables on that plate,'' Cal tried without much success to prove he was in charge.

''Dad, will you relax? Let him eat what he likes, don't be such a control freak. He drank some milk and had some of that brown crap he loves so much. He's not gonna develop scurvy if he doesn't eat vegetables for one night,'' Emily wasn't much help so Cal gave up.

''Just a few, not the whole packet,'' Cal watched as Johnny jumped down clutching what appeared to be two packs of cookies.

''Might as well talk to my bleeding self,'' Cal muttered to himself as he looked around for his wallet.

''Johnny, put one of them back honey,'' Foster spoke up and Johnny hesitated then he placed one back on the counter. Cal gave Foster a mock menacing glare whilst Emily enjoyed his discomfort.

''Great, one word from you and he does as he's told,'' Cal mumbled as he went to kiss Emily goodbye. Foster felt a certain amount of smug satisfaction as Johnny began to dunk Oreos into his milk, he grinned at her and winked. She tried not to enjoy him pulling her into his conspiracy against his father but couldn't help indulging him so she smiled back.

''When you have finished stuffing your face, you go straight to bed. Oh and make sure you brush your teeth. That's enough sugar to last you a week,'' Cal placed a kiss on his son's head this time but he barely noticed as he was preoccupied with his treat, a treat he most definitely didn't deserve.

''He goes to bed Em, you hear me?'' Cal reemphasised as Foster pulled him towards the door.

''Absolutely dad,'' Emily replied offhandedly and Cal stopped, looking between his nonchalant children.

''Cal, leave them be. Emily will be just fine,'' Foster stopped him before he launched into a rant.

''Yeah, yeah, I know but why do I get the feeling that the minute I set foot outside the door, some gory slash film will go into the DVD player?'' Cal complained as he allowed Foster to push him out of the front door and close it behind them.

''Because it will but there is nothing that you can do about it. It's the game, Emily is his big sister, she is not going to help you punish her little brother, you know it, I know it, she knows it and most especially Johnny knows it. But we want to go out for a quiet dinner so we are going to play along,'' Foster clicked her car open.

''Who made you so wise all of a sudden?'' Cal said grumpily as he pulled on his seat belt.

''Oh Cal, lighten up. Oh and for the record I have always been wise, you're just too self absorbed to notice, '' Foster said with fake gaiety, she knew this evening was going to be anything but light but for now she was playing the game too.

''Yeah, fair enough. Where are you taking me then?'' Cal grinned.

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''You did that on purpose didn't you?'' Emily asked as she turned off the lights and Johnny collected the chips and soda.

''Did what?'' Johnny collapsed on the couch and grabbed the remote.

''Did what Gillian told you instead of dad,'' Emily slipped in the DVD.

''Yeah well, keeps the old man guessing doesn't it? Anyway I'm pissed off at him so I thought I'd wind him up that's all,'' Johnny opened a large bag of chips.

''You don't learn, like ever. Is it always gonna be this way? Are you and dad just going to fight your way through the rest of your lives?'' Emily wondered if she could steal a beer, would her dad notice?

''Dunno, maybe. Its fun,'' Johnny shook up his coke and held it out towards her.

''Don't you dare, you brat,'' Emily scooted away and Johnny laughed, he opened it catching the spray in his mouth.

''It wasn't fun earlier,'' Emily pointed out and Johnny cringed.

''It didn't hurt, Dad's a wimp,'' he lied and Emily shook her head, he was past saving. If he was so determined to learn the hard way then Emily was happy to let him, she had tried, done her duty.

''You gonna have a beer?'' Johnny dared her with a mischievous smirk and Emily gave him the evil eye.

''I would if I wanted one,'' she replied snootily as she watched the commercials.

''No, you wouldn't. You're way too good for that,'' Johnny applied some pressure, curious to see if Emily would succumb.

''No I'm not,'' she insisted, she shoved him when he laughed.

''Well have a beer then. I won't tell,'' Johnny lost interest as the titles began to run. Emily looked at him but he was oblivious, already mesmerised by the movie. After five minutes had passed and there had already been three blood thirsty murders, Emily decided to have a beer after all.

XyXyXyXy

''So, here we are then,'' Cal looked nervously at Foster who was studying the menu intensely, too intensely.

''I think I might have the halibut,'' she replied, putting the menu down.

''Right, not that keen on fish as you know. I want a big, juicy steak meself,'' Cal was happy to talk about food for now.

The waiter took their orders and finally it was just them. There was a stilted silence and Foster felt butterflies forming in her chest.

''When is the baby due?'' Cal asked bluntly and Foster blinked in surprise, trust him not to bother with small talk, she would have preferred small talk but it wasn't the Lightman style.

''Early October,'' she replied, not quite believing it, it felt so unreal. Cal grinned.

''Christmas pressie then?'' he said and Foster frowned.

''No, I said October,'' Foster didn't understand his implication.

''We made her at Christmas,'' Cal's face filled with tenderness and Foster was totally beguiled.

''Yes, we did,'' she answered in a whisper and Cal took her hand.

''It might be a boy,'' she pointed out although somehow deep down she knew he was probably right, it would be a girl. Finally, a daughter of her own, a little girl to replace the one who had been ripped so cruelly away from her.

''Oh God, I hope not,'' Cal gulped his wine and Foster shook her head in disapproval at him.

''What is your problem with boys? I'm sure Johnny knows how you feel, it probably explains his behaviour,'' Foster reasoned.

''Right, so it's my fault then? That's convenient, he's a little sod and you blame me. Thanks, that's just peachy,'' Cal gulped some more wine as he tried to decide how to word his confession.

''I am not blaming you Cal, but if you have a negative attitude towards a child then they tend to play to it. Negative attention is still attention, you know,'' Foster carried on despite knowing that it would annoy Cal, she was deflecting and they both knew it.

''I don't have a negative attitude towards him. I am just realistic and even you have to admit that most of the time, I'm right. That doesn't mean I love him any less than I do Em,'' Cal felt the need to make that point which annoyed him.

''I didn't suggest that you don't love him. I am just saying that if you didn't expect the worst all the time, you might be surprised,'' Foster replied coolly and Cal rolled his eyes.

''I know that you would happily discuss my dubious parenting skills until the cows come home but we aren't here to talk about my existing kids are we?'' Cal met her eye and she blushed.

''No, we're not,'' she murmured.

''So I'm guessing that you are not exactly made up with the fact that I'm your baby's father,'' Cal's tone took her breath away, the hurt very raw.

''That's not true. I know that you are a wonderful father, that is not the issue here,'' Foster didn't hesitate to protest.

''Right, even though you just said the exact opposite,'' Cal smiled tightly.

''You know that is not what I said, we may disagree about how to handle the children but that doesn't mean I think you're a bad father. Our styles differ that's all but I actually think we complement each other in many ways,'' Foster went further than she meant to.

''Do you? Could have fooled me. Although I have to admit you were right about Johnny. I was avoiding the issue, thank you for caring enough to point that out,'' Cal saw the pleasure his appreciation gave her which made what he was about to reveal even harder.

''I love Johnny and I want the best for him,'' Foster looked away, not adding what she wanted to.

''Just Johnny?'' Cal asked and she glanced back at him. She sighed as she couldn't bring herself to include him, Cal was hiding something and she wasn't about to expose herself to rejection or worse.

''What aren't you saying Cal?'' Foster blurted it out, she couldn't bear this any longer, she had to know.

Cal's face revealed panic and he squeezed her hand but Foster snatched it away.

''Just tell me,'' she said coldly and Cal ran his hand over his face, the gesture scared her even more as his stress was so stark.

''I have been sleeping with Zoe. It's happened a few times but now it's over,'' Cal rushed the words but Foster heard each one as if he had screamed them straight in her ear. She froze and the colour drained from her face.

''Gill, I love you and I want to raise this baby with you. Zoe and me, well it just never went away but it's not real. It's just easy, it meant nothing,'' Cal tried desperately to explain but Gillian's face was drawn and tight, she was hurt beyond belief.

''Well, I'm sure Zoe will be very happy to hear you say that and what about Emily? Does she know you have no respect for her mother or for yourself for that matter,'' Foster threw her napkin on the table.

''Don't leave, love, just don't leave. Don't be a coward,'' Cal read her intention.

''Coward? You are calling me a coward, you are the coward, not me. All of this is because you don't trust anyone, you keep everyone you love at a distance and let all your issues eat away at you. Then you pick us up and put us down when it suits you, like we're toys for your amusement. How can I trust you to stay with me so we can raise this child together? Cal, you have all these problems because of your parents and you will not address them. I can't live with you self destructing regularly and then sauntering back whenever you feel like it,'' Foster was now angry and she vented at the cause of that anger.

Her fury masked the ripping hurt that was tearing her apart inside. Her chest felt tight and her heart was pounding. She picked up her glass of water with trembling fingers, she caught Cal's eye as he watched her, his gaze besieging her to give him a chance.

''I have always been there for my kids and I will be for this one,'' Cal retorted indignantly.

''Cal, that is not what we are talking about here. I know that you won't abandon this child, what I don't know is whether you will abandon me. No, that's not true, I do know. I know that is exactly what you will do, not tomorrow or even next year but you will leave me. You won't mean to and you won't plan it but it is what you will do. You just won't be able to help yourself, '' Foster finished her speech with a regretful smile. She felt herself begin to close down just as she had done with Alex, numbness enveloped her body and she felt as if she was a mere bystander not one of the main characters.

''When I married Zoe, it was forever for me, it was. That's how I feel about you,'' Cal threw his hands up.

''Cal, that statement just confirms what I just said. You do know that you have already relegated me to second choice don't you? How can I trust you? We have barely got started and you have already betrayed me. Zoe isn't going away, you will do it again,'' Foster felt tears thickening at the back of her throat and she took a sip of water to calm herself down.

''You are not second choice, Zoe was safe. I was scared, it was so intense and felt too perfect. Zoe is familiar, secure. It was bloody stupid, I know that now. I can't take it back but I don't want to lose you. I want to do this properly, I want to get married and raise our children together. Please Gill, love. It was a mistake, a stupid, bloody mistake. Just take a chance, please,'' Cal was pleading and Foster was speechless, she didn't think Cal Lightman would ever bare his soul to this extent.

In her heart, she wanted to say yes and for them to go home, tell the kids and begin their lives together. However, she had done this before, she had blindly trusted a man and as a result he had almost destroyed her. She wouldn't let that happen again.

''I'm sorry Cal, I can't. I just can't,'' Foster picked up her purse, her head was swimming and she couldn't catch her breath. She just wanted to go home, curl up in front of the TV with a tub of chocolate ice cream and cry herself to sleep.

''Gill,'' Cal tried to catch her by the hand.

''Don't, just don't. God, how could you? How could you?'' Foster hissed at him, rage overcame her pain and she glared venomously at him.

Cal slumped back in defeat. He knew she was leaving and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

''If that's what you want luv,'' Cal said quietly and for one hopeful second he saw uncertainty in her body language but then determination overwhelmed it. She was protecting herself and more importantly she was protecting her unborn child from the turmoil that was Cal Lightman and his baggage.

''Thank you, I will call you when I am ready. I am aware that we have a lot to discuss but at the moment you are the last person on earth I want to see. Goodnight,'' Foster walked away, her head held high and she managed not to look back although she really wanted to.

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''Hello,'' Johnny answered Emily's phone blearily, he had been dead to the world, the movie proving sleep inducing.

''Is Emily there please?'' A female voice asked and Johnny sat up, spilling coke down his shirt in the process. He recognised the voice, it was Marie, Bailey's mum.

''Hold on, Em! Em!'' Johnny screamed up the stairs and Emily came thudding down.

''It's for you,'' Johnny slung the phone at her and pretended to watch the TV again.

''Hello,'' Emily walked away as she listened to the urgent voice on the other end.

Johnny watched her curiously as she came back, pulling her coat on.

''I have to go the hospital,'' she explained as she searched for her purse.

''Why?'' Johnny was alarmed by this turn of events.

''Bailey has a fever,'' Emily didn't elaborate that this could be the dreaded infection they had all been so worried about.

''How are you gonna get there?'' Johnny asked and Emily looked irritably at him.

''How do you think? In the goddamn car of course. Don't be a pain okay? Just go to bed and tell dad where I am when he gets home. Tell him I'll call,'' Emily snapped and Johnny bit his lip.

''There it is,'' Emily sighted the purse and placed it over her head.

''Em, you had a beer,'' Johnny said nervously and Emily froze, she'd forgotten that.

''It was only one. I'm fine,'' Emily dismissed her brother's concern, Bailey needed her and she wasn't going to let one dumb beer stop her going to him.

''I know Em but you've only just started driving. Why don't you call your mum? She'll take you,'' Johnny suggested but Emily ignored him.

His only answer was the slam of the front door. He slouched back down and stared at the screen. He chewed his lip anxiously, pictures of his sister bloodied and dead in a mangled car flashing before his eyes. Five minutes passed and Johnny was relieved when he heard the front door open again.

''Em,'' he jumped up and then froze when confronted by his scowling father.

''Why aren't you in bed?'' Cal used the remote to turn off the blaring television.

''Uuum,'' Johnny stepped quickly in front of the coffee table but Cal saw the movement for what it is. An admission of guilt because you only hid something if you had something to hide.

''What are you up to?'' Cal pulled him out of the way and picked up the empty bottle of beer with disbelief.

''Are you joking son? You're twelve years old,'' Cal was incredulous and Johnny had to think fast. He couldn't rat on Emily, Cal would go apoplectic if he knew she had drunk the beer let alone driven the car under the influence.

''I just wanted to try it,'' Johnny covered for Emily although it bothered him that yet again he was the bad kid and Emily, the perpetual golden girl. Cal frowned, there was something off here.

''I'm sorry. It was there and I didn't think you would notice,'' Johnny gabbled.

''Should have hidden the bloody evidence then. Where's yer sister? I can't believe she let you do this,'' Cal gathered together the debris off the table and strode to the kitchen. Johnny chose to stay put.

''She went to the hospital cos Bailey's sick,'' Johnny called from the safety of the living room. Cal tossed the rubbish and walked back, he was not in a good mood and this news rounded the day off nicely. It did however explain why Johnny was drinking beer.

''So what have you got to say for yourself?'' Cal asked, he dipped his head as Johnny stared at the ground in an attempt to hide his deceit.

''It was only one friggin' beer,'' Johnny muttered.

Cal almost lost his temper, he had had his fill of this kid, he was a total nightmare and Cal was sick of it. But then he remembered Foster's words about his attitude to his son and he restrained himself. He knew this was not as it seemed, he saw it, his science told him so. It would be easy to believe it was Johnny but Cal couldn't ignore the niggling voice that told him otherwise.

''Give me one good reason son why I shouldn't give you another wallop?'' Cal watched Johnny's face carefully as he issued the threat. Johnny thought he'd done it, his dad believed him and Emily was in the clear.

''Mmm, so that's interesting,'' Cal stepped back and Johnny frowned.

''What is?'' he asked tentatively.

''So what I would expect when I said that was some fear, anger, maybe shame but not relief. Relief was not what I should have seen,'' Cal tilted his head cockily and did his trademark lean.

''Oh,'' Johnny blinked.

''Now you feel guilty, guilty cos you lied to me to protect your sister but I caught you out. Am I right?'' Cal raised his eyebrows and Johnny looked away.

''So I am. Which means you're both in a lot of strife. Did she just have one beer?'' Cal asked urgently and Johnny nodded slowly.

''And then she drove my car?'' Cal checked the facts, he couldn't comprehend that Emily would do such a stupid thing but love was a powerful incentive.

Johnny's face was all the answer Cal needed, he was already dialling.

''Emily, where are you?'' Cal didn't bother with niceties when his daughter answered.

''Right, well you got lucky didn't you? Stay the hell there, I'm coming to get you,'' Cal barked.

''Don't you bloody argue with me. Just stay there, I'll be with you in about twenty minutes,'' Cal hung up and looked at Johnny.

''I have to go and pick up Emily. You get yourself to bed, don't answer the door or the phone,'' Cal ordered and Johnny hesitated.

''What?'' Cal asked irritably, he really needed some cooperation here but he wasn't getting it.

''You're in the way,'' Johnny pointed out.

''Bed now!'' Cal yelled this time and Johnny ducked past him. Cal helped him on his way with a hard smack just to remind his son that he was not totally innocent.

''Ow, I didn't even do anything. That's not fair,'' Johnny complained from the bottom of the stairs.

''You still here, boyzy?'' Cal flashed his eyes upwards as he ordered a cab.

Johnny took the hint this time and went.

As Cal waited at the window for his ride, he fretted about how he would deal with Emily's misdemeanour. Suddenly, Johnny appeared easy to deal with in comparison.


	19. Chapter 19 Very Sad News

I am so sorry that this has taken so long but my real life has beyond busy so Fan Fic has not had a look in. Thank you for the reviews, I was happy that someone mentioned the family stuff and how they thought that I wrote it well. I really appreciate that as its the part I enjoy so its nice to know that others do too.

This is a more plot driven chapter as you will see.

Let me know what you think, S X

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Cal stopped when he saw Emily and he had no idea how to react. His daughter was currently wrapped around the woman who had stormed away from him less than an hour ago. The woman he considered his partner, his soul mate and the only person he trusted his children with.

''Em?'' Cal asked eventually, his voice strangled and forced, the signs were bad, very bad,

''Oh dad,'' Emily literally collapsed in his arms, desperate sobs wracking her small frame.

''Bailey died half an hour ago,'' Foster filled in the gaps and Cal closed his eyes in despair, tightening his grip on his distraught daughter instinctively.

''He was gone when I got here Dad but no one told me, why didn't they tell me?'' Emily gasped in his arms and Cal's eyes locked with Fosters. She smiled reassuringly, it was a sad, wistful smile designed to support him.

''It's okay Em, I'm here. It's okay,'' Cal mumbled ineffectually although it was as far from okay as it was possible to get. A beautiful, vibrant young man had lost his life, a young man that his daughter loved with every fibre of her being, it was a dark moment, a very dark moment.

''Where's her mother?'' Cal asked over Emily's head, somehow he couldn't bring himself to say her name. He was protecting Foster and a look of confusion swept over her face before she controlled it.

''Out of town, she left earlier this evening,'' Foster replied stiffly. Cal nodded, Zoe was doing that more and more lately, it meant something that Cal had chosen not to consider, it was too complicated.

''So Em called you?'' Cal asked with a heavy heart and Foster nodded.

''Yes, she did. She knew you were coming but…'' Foster chose not to finish the sentence, the fact that Emily had turned to her in her hour of need sent out a strong message, a message that made what had transpired at dinner much more complicated than the two adults wanted to admit.

''Where is Johnny?'' Foster behaviour continued in the same vein, they felt like her children and she was concerned, as any mother would be.

''He's at home, he's fine,'' Cal just about stopped himself from snapping, his defences rising.

''I'll call Reynolds. He'll go and sit with him,'' Foster didn't discuss it with Cal, she believed that a twelve year old should not be alone this late and took pre-emptive action, Cal would just have to go along with it.

''That's probably a good idea,'' Cal agreed as meek as a lamb, Foster looked sharply at him and then nodded succinctly. She walked away dialling as she did.

Cal became aware that Emily had gone very quiet and he looked down at her.

''I don't get it dad, he was good, real good. How could this happen?'' Emily's voice cracked again.

''I don't know Em,'' Cal surveyed the hallway and then spied Marie speaking to a doctor in the distance. Foster returned just in the nick of time.

Cal handed Emily over to her without word, no words seemed necessary. Foster embraced the girl, who relaxed in her arms as if it was the most natural thing in the world, tightly encompassing her in a protective grip.

''Marie?'' Cal approached the now solitary woman tentatively, aware that he could appear insensitive.

''Cal? I'm glad you're here, how is Emily?'' Marie asked in a surprisingly composed voice, however her eyes were fraught with anguish, this was a woman experiencing her worse nightmare.

''She's a mess, how are you?'' Cal asked ineffectually but what the hell did you say?

''I am in purgatory Cal but I don't need to tell you that do I?'' Marie said matter of factly and Cal shook his head quickly.

''No, no you don't. I am so sorry Marie, he was an amazing bloke,'' Cal meant that, he had got to know Bailey since his accident and he couldn't comprehend her loss. In fact, Cal felt a tightening of his chest as he began to grieve for Bailey, a boy he had grown fond of.

''Yes he was, wasn't he?'' Marie's eyes glazed as a memory assaulted her, Cal waited aware that he shouldn't interrupt.

''Is there someone we can call for you?'' Cal asked once Marie appeared to rouse from her daze.

''My sister is coming but will you wait with me? You and Emily, I don't want to let her go just yet,'' Marie shocked Cal with her blunt honesty, it was so rare so he just nodded.

''Thank you,'' Marie smiled her gratitude and Cal felt very unworthy.

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Johnny watched the shadow lingering in the dark bushes with rising panic. Initially, he'd thought it was his imagination but the shadow had substance. There was definitely somebody watching his house and Johnny gasped as the figure ran across the lawn disappearing from view.

Johnny jumped down from the windowsill and tried to gather himself, shit, were the doors locked? He hadn't even checked and his dad had left in a hurry.

Johnny felt tears gathering in his eyes and he wiped them away in irritation, he needed to man up and he didn't have much time.

He gathered himself, digging deep. He made his way down stairs quickly, scooting across to the front door and checking the locks, they were secure and he turned his attention to the kitchen. Cal was notorious for leaving the back door open and just as Johnny was about to make his way towards it, he heard it open.

He fell back against the front door, his heart pounding and his mouth dry. He had to go and confront whoever was in his kitchen so he plucked some courage from somewhere and crept across the floor.

From nowhere an arm wrapped itself around his waist and before he knew it, his feet were dangling in mid air.

''Fuck off, put me down you son of a bitch, put me down,'' Johnny fought furiously and his heel caught his assailant's shin. Suddenly, Johnny found himself free and he charged towards the open back door, freedom but a few yards away.

His legs were taken from beneath him and he collapsed in an undignified heap, completely at the mercy of the person who had broken into his home.

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''It's not fair,'' Emily sniffed into Marie's shoulder and the older woman merely nodded, patting Emily's hand, she wasn't about to argue with that sentiment.

''Gill, could I have a word please?'' Cal's agitation was now beyond his control, Foster had walked away from him but now here she was, as involved in his family drama as he was. Cal Lightman was a very confused man.

''What?'' Foster asked abruptly and Cal found himself lost for words now they were alone.

''You can't understand why I'm here can you?'' She said it herself and Cal sighed, he was making a mess yet again.

''I am a little confused. I thought that this was finished, that we were at the stage of discussing access and yet…'' Cal made a hopeless gesture with his hand.

''Oh Cal, how can this ever be finished? We are having a child together and I love your children with all my heart. Do you honestly believe that I wouldn't come when Emily needed me? I would go to the ends of the earth for her and Johnny. We have problems and it isn't going to be easy but we have three children to consider. This is not the right time, we have to focus on Emily now,'' Foster turned to walk away and Cal caught her arm.

''I love you,'' he said quietly and Foster's eyes filled with shock to be replaced by softness.

''Not now Cal,'' she said sharply and she strode away. Cal watched her go, she had replied in kind even if she hadn't actually spoken and he knew it.

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''What do you want?'' Johnny regarded the hostile man with fearful eyes, he was at a disadvantage as he was lying on the floor. Sgt. Ronnie Baca hadn't actually meant to break in, he wasn't that in to terrorizing kids but it was rapidly becoming a habit.

''Why are you alone?'' Baca hadn't expected that and Johnny shuffled away from him on his bottom coming to a stop when the couch stopped him.

''I said what the fuck do you want?'' Johnny would have given anything to have that gun about now.

''Hey, watch the mouth kid,'' Baca snapped and Johnny went very still.

''Your dad out is he?'' Baca assessed the situation and Johnny nodded slowly.

''Right, so consider this a warning. You keep your mouth shut, say nothing about what Jake told you about that gun. You didn't get it from him, you understand me?'' Baca pointed and as his jacket rose, Johnny sighted a weapon nestling in his waistband.

''I can't do that. They know already,'' Johnny argued and Baca got in close, very close.

''If you say nothing they can't prove it. I have given a warning so you sit up and take notice if you know what's good for you and your family,'' Baca sneered in Johnny's face and he shrank back.

''I don't know what you're on about,'' Johnny was baffled and Baca laughed.

''Your sister's boyfriend was sick wasn't he?'' he said and Johnny sat up, his eyes wide.

''Yeah, so?'' Johnny managed to utter.

''Well he ain't sick anymore,'' Baca stood up and Johnny tried to figure out what he was suggesting.

''You stay put and keep your mouth shut or I swear I will kill you,'' Baca swooped and grabbed the front of Johnny's shirt. The boy had little choice other than to nod.

Then he was gone as quickly as he had appeared. Johnny locked the door behind him and slumped down on the floor, placing his head in his hands.

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''Ben, why are you here? I thought you were going to look after Johnny,'' Foster was not happy to see her colleague.

''I'm sorry Gill. Can I see you two?'' Ben gestured with his head and Cal glanced at Emily, she appeared to sleeping on Marie's shoulder who was looking away in the distance, lost in the safe refuge of the past.

''What's wrong?'' Foster asked irritably and Ben sighed.

''They're performing a post mortem, this looks wrong. This kid was on the mend. According to the doctors, this should not have happened,'' Ben relayed the bad news and Foster gasped.

''You're kidding me?'' Foster glanced at Cal in horror.

''''Johnny's alone,'' Cal couldn't believe this was connected to them but their business involved a lot of unscrupulous people so it wasn't outside the realms of possibility. Foster looked at him in alarm and then back at Ben.

''You guys go home and I will bring Emily back with me. I have to speak to her,'' Ben suggested and Cal hesitated.

''Trust me Cal, I will be careful,'' Ben urged, he believed that Emily might be more forthcoming without Cal present so was keen he followed his advice.

''Okay, that makes some sense,'' Cal agreed against his best judgement and Foster nodded in agreement.

They drove home in silence, it was fortuitous that Foster had her car so they arrived back quickly.

The house looked dark and foreboding, as Cal climbed from the car, he sensed that something was wrong.

''Why is it so dark?'' Foster asked as she closed the car door as Cal tried to control his panic.

''I don't know. Stay here Gill, I'll take a look,'' Cal raised his hand to her, stopping her in her tracks.

''No, I'm going with you,'' she insisted.

''Gill please, think of the baby,'' Cal replied with an edge in his voice and Foster paused. She nodded reluctantly but he did have a point.

Cal made his way to the back door and listened, it was quiet within and he tried the handle, it didn't move. Cal reached into his pocket and pulled out the key, placing it in the lock.

The blow caught him in the stomach and he doubled over in pain but managed to put his hand up stopping the pan that was about to knock him to kingdom come.

''Oh shit,'' Johnny stepped back, dropping the saucepan and looking guiltily at his gasping father.

''Johnny, what the hell son?'' Cal staggered to the counter and tried to catch his breath.

''Sorry dad, I thought you were a burglar,'' Johnny muttered and Cal glared at him through bleary eyes.

''You're not joking. Why aren't you in bloody bed?'' Cal managed to stand upright as the pain eased.

''I heard a noise,'' Johnny put the pan on the counter and looked at his feet. Cal frowned, he just lied to him and not very well.

''Yeah right so what were you doing? Drinking beer? Arranging a poker night?'' Cal waved the all clear to Foster who was waiting impatiently by the car and then looked back at his truculent son.

''You should go on the stage dad, you're so funny,'' Johnny deadpanned back.

''I ask again, what were you doing?'' Cal watched carefully and Johnny shrugged pulling a disgruntled face.

''What's happened?'' Foster came in and Johnny looked askance at her.

''What are you doing here?'' He blurted out and both adults threw him admonishing looks, his tone lacked respect to say the least.

''What? She don't live here does she?'' Johnny was not apologetic despite the fact he didn't like how his dad was looking at him. Ronnie's visit had been disturbing but Johnny didn't want to say anything just yet not until he'd thought about it. He had to consider Jake, he didn't want to make life worse for him.

''No you're right, I don't. I think you'll find that sentence should have been 'she doesn't live here','' Foster corrected Johnny's grammar and he laughed.

''Whatever. Where's Em?'' Johnny changed the subject. The adults exchanged glances, they had decided not to tell Johnny about Bailey until it was clear what had transpired. It was inevitable that Johnny would blame himself and if they could spare him that pain, they would.

''She'll be home soon. Go to bed, we want some peace,'' Cal was short in an attempt to head off any potential questions.

''Why? I'm not even sleepy,'' Johnny was difficult on accounts of the fact that he wasn't keen on going back to a dark bedroom especially as the bogey man might be lurking there, not that he would admit that in a million years.

''Do as you're told boyzy, we're knackered and I am not in a good mood,'' Cal warned and Johnny rolled his eyes as he muttered an expletive under his breath.

''I bloody heard that,'' Cal lost his temper and slammed down the kettle as he spoke, the evening proving trying to the extreme.

Cal stepped towards Johnny who beat a hasty retreat although he took the long way around, ensuring that Cal was a safe distance at all times.

''That boy is going to push me too far one day and will get the hiding he's asking for,'' Cal fumed as he belatedly put the kettle on.

''Calm down Cal, don't take it out on him. Let's have some tea and take a moment. Please?'' Foster caught his hand and their eyes met again, love and desire flashing between them. Cal nodded and started to pour.


	20. Chapter 20 The Plot Thickens

Thanks for the reviews, always appreciated especially on the Lie to Me section as my story is complex and long. Sorry about that but it is how I write and these are rich characters who call out for complicated plots.

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while but I have been beyond busy but I have some time now so expect another update in the next couple of days.

There's much in this chapter that is unspoken but the plot thickens as you will see.

Enjoy, let me know what you think.

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''Did Bailey have any enemies?'' Ben asked, he kept his eyes firmly on the road ahead, he was more than aware that he wasn't being subtle.

''Why are you asking me that?'' Emily was roused from her misery, there was an implication in that question that unsettled her.

''I just wondered is all,'' Ben shrugged and Emily narrowed her eyes as she regarded him suspiciously.

''That is a loaded question and as it's you asking then it's even more loaded. Do you think someone did this to him?'' Emily was Lightman's daughter through and through, Ben should have known that she would read his motive right off.

''No, it's procedure,'' Ben answered and Emily snorted derisorily.

''Yeah right, sure it is. No, he did not have any enemies, he was a kid, he worked and spent time with me. He didn't even drink even though legally he could but he didn't,'' Emily confirmed what Ben already knew. This boy had been killed but not for anything he'd done.

''Right,'' Ben mumbled, he had no leads, the only remotely threatening element in Bailey's life was his connection to the Lightman Group, it was the only explanation. Ben sighed, he would be spending the next few days going through files of former cases to assess threat. Great, it was the most boring part of his job but it also meant spending alot of time in Cal's vicinity and Ben was still less than happy with him which Cal would exploit to his fullest.

''It was because he was dating me, I have figured out that much. Don't try and deny it Ben, I'm not stupid,'' Emily confronted the FBI agent and he searched for a way to word this that would cause the least amount of damage.

''Emily, it is not your fault. There is a chance this is attached to your dad's business but in the end it is the person who did this who is to blame, not you,'' Ben did his best.

There was a stunned silence as Emily looked at him with wide eyes, she had been fishing and hadn't really thought Bailey had died because of his association with her, Ben had just confirmed that was exactly what had transpired despite the fact he hadn't meant to.

''Emily, you are not to blame,'' Ben said again as he turned into the driveway.

''You said that already,'' Emily threw over her shoulder as she climbed from the car, she slammed the door hard, rocking the car, before Ben could answer her.

''Watch the car,'' Ben muttered to himself as he followed her.

Emily stormed into the kitchen, her face full of fury.

''Don't ask me if I'm okay. No, I'm fucking not,'' she snarled at the two adults looking nervously at her.

''Em,'' Cal tried to catch her arm as she walked towards the stairs. Emily pulled her arm furiously away.

''Don't dad, I don't want to hear it right now. Just leave me alone, I'm going to bed,'' Emily barked but then she stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

''If mom calls then wake me cos I really need to speak to her,'' Emily's eyes were hard and Cal recoiled as if he had been slapped. She was rejecting his comfort and seeking out her mothers, it was rejection of the most basic kind and hurt like hell.

''Night,'' Emily turned tail and stomped out of sight.

''What the hell did you say to her?'' Cal turned on Ben who flung his arms up.

''Nothing, all I asked her was if Bailey had any enemies. She figured out the rest herself,'' Ben defended himself but Cal continued to glare at him.

''I'm going to talk to her,'' Cal acted with his emotions as he always did but Foster stepped in front of him.

''No, you are not. She has had enough, leave her be for now,'' Foster was assertive and Cal looked about to argue but then his face fell. Foster was right and Cal stepped away from the confrontation.

''Do you want a drink?'' Cal asked Ben abruptly and without waiting for an answer, he poured two large glasses of Scotch.

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Johnny sat on the window sill peering into the darkness searching for anything suspicious. He yawned and leant his forehead against the glass, he was exhausted but too terrified to close his eyes, his head was aching but still he couldn't sleep. It was late, real late, he heard Emily slam the door of her room a while ago now and Johnny dreaded why she appeared so upset. Ronnie's words echoed in his head and he felt like he was being hunted.

His cell phone began to ring and Johnny jumped down, fumbling to answer it, very aware he hadn't yet heard his dad come to bed.

'' 'llo,'' Johnny muttered and he sat bolt upright when he heard the voice on the other end.

''I can't Jake, call the cops not me,'' Johnny was struggling to understand the incoherent crying at the end of the phone but he knew that Jake was asking for his cooperation and it wasn't his idea.

''I won't tell, I said I won't and I won't. Did he make you call me?'' Johnny's only answer was a ring tone.

He threw the phone onto the bed in temper and went back to the silent surveillance of his back yard.

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''How you feeling?'' Cal traced the swell of her cheek tenderly before tucking some stray hair behind her ear. Foster thought about it, she should be disgusted with herself and her weakness but the trauma of the previous evening had served to remind her that life was not a dress rehearsal.

''Surprisingly good,'' Foster smiled and Cal raised his eyebrows.

''Why is it a surprise?'' he asked as he dropped his hand and laid it gently on her stomach.

''I can tell,'' he said with a grin and Foster gave him a warning glare.

''I hope you are not suggesting I'm getting fat,'' Foster was actually pleased he'd said that.

''No, you know I'm not but there's a small bump and you love it,'' Cal was careful and Foster blushed at the truth of his words.

''So I guess you think this means that you're forgiven,'' Foster placed her cheek on her hand and watched his face. She saw doubt and insecurity which was what she wanted to see.

''No, I'm not stupid. I just think that you couldn't resist me,'' Cal mocked himself and Foster nodded seriously.

''There is some truth in that but it isn't enough Cal. It's whether you can resist your ex-wife that is the issue here,'' Foster reminded him that he had been a bad boy.

''Whatever I say is not going to make much difference because I can see here and here,'' Cal gestured towards her face, '' that you have made your mind up.''

''Cal, don't wallow in self pity. You have to prove me wrong don't you?'' Foster was very sure of her position and Cal knew they were only just starting on the road to recovery but that was a lot better than he could have hoped for a mere twelve hours previously.

''So where are we then?'' Cal allowed her to dictate the pace which was a real turnaround for him.

''You're asking me?'' Foster was struggling with this transfer of power, it told her that for her, Cal was prepared to compromise which was not something he did ever!

''Yes, obviously I have a lot on my plate at the moment and I know I am going to need your help. Emily is going to be in a bad way and hates me plus Johnny only listens to you so I need you,'' Cal was blunt and Foster was stunned into silence.

''Hold that thought. I'll get you some tea, stay,'' Cal kissed her and then rose from the bed, he grabbed some sweat pants and pulled a T shirt over his head.

Foster watched him and once he left the room, she fell back onto the pillow and tried to make some sense of the last twenty four hours.

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''Oi, what are you up to?'' Cal padded into the kitchen and stopped short at the sight of Johnny staring at the alarm system key pad.

''Does this thing tell you if someone breaks into the house whilst we're asleep?'' Johnny asked and Cal frowned as he went to put the kettle on.

''It will but I don't set it at night cos I'm here. You're safe Jono,'' Cal didn't understand this sudden insecurity.

''How's Bailey?'' Johnny asked as he sat up on the counter. Then Cal understood very well.

''What do you know?'' Cal pulled some cups from the cabinet.

''Nuffink,'' Johnny shrugged,'' just asked that's all.''

''Liar,'' Cal leant his hands on the counter top and met Johnny's eyes which flickered away from him.

''I'm not lying, so what he's not dead is he?'' Johnny asked what he didn't want to and Cal was confused because he read that Johnny wasn't sure which directly contradicted why Cal believed he just lied to him.

''Yes Jono, he is. He took a turn for the worse and he died last night,'' Cal told him because there seemed little point denying it.

''Oh,'' Johnny looked down at his hands which he was wringing anxiously. Cal placed his own larger ones over them to still the movement and Johnny looked up at him with unreadable eyes.

''It's not your fault,'' Cal said bluntly as that was the reaction he expected.

''I know,'' Johnny said quickly and Cal was shocked when he saw no doubt, Johnny wasn't just saying it, he knew it to be a fact.

They locked eyes and Cal's head went into overdrive, there was something missing, Johnny was behaving bizarrely.

The kettle began to whistle but Cal ignored it.

''What do you need to tell me?'' He asked in hushed tones and he saw panic and fear flash over his son's face before he covered it.

''Nuffink, your water's ready,'' Johnny tried to deflect but Cal held his eyes and squeezed his hands slightly. Johnny snatched them away as if Cal had burnt him.

''Don't care, tell me what you are hiding,'' Cal was fixed on his target.

''Why is Gill here? Did you sleep with her again? You're gonna have a million kids if you don't stop playing around you know,'' Johnny tried to anger Cal, it usually put him off task.

''Don't, just answer my question,'' Cal wasn't fooled.

''Dad?'' Emily's voice disturbed the standoff.

''Em, you okay?'' Cal changed his demeanour instantly as he turned to her and held his arms out. Emily ran to them, her anger from the previous evening diminished by her need for comfort.

She began to sob and Cal pulled her in tight, kissing her on the head as she poured out her pain.

Johnny slipped away unnoticed. He ran to his room and dressed rapidly. It took him about a minute to scale the trellis and disappear down the street.

His sister was devastated and his father was caught up in his lady drama, Johnny knew Jake needed help and he was the only one available to offer any.


	21. Chapter 21 A Family in Peril

Thanks for the reviews, its going at a fast pace but that's in keeping with the show. someone said Johnny needed tying to his bed.

I'll put that to Cal but I have a feeling I know what he will say. Would be more than happy to oblige. My younger characters have a habit of absconding, I don't know why.

Hits are low but that's my own fault, story's lost momentum but I just have not had any time. Sorry about that.

I will say that I always finish a story so rest assured this one will be finished although not for a while yet as it had some legs in it. Not with the case perhaps but there's a lot of family left to write.

Let me know what you think.

laters S Xx

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''Do you think Ben is right? Could it be because of me?'' Emily asked as she looked down at her untouched tea.

Cal was lounging on a stool beside her, staying close and he leaned in even closer, resting his forehead on hers.

''I don't know sweetheart but it is a possibility, I'm sorry,'' Cal was tender, to the people who knew the cocky, mouthy Lightman, he would be unrecognisable. Emily needed him to be this way for her, needed the reassurance that she was his main focus, recent events had meant that hadn't happened for a while and she smiled at him.

''You're not just talking about Bailey are you?'' she asked and Cal pulled a face full of regret.

''No, I'm not. Dead perceptive aren't yer?'' Cal smiled and Emily tried to return it but it came out as grimace.

''For the record, it would not be because of you but because of what I do. For that, I'm really sorry, I've never really considered how my work affects you before and I should have. I'm sorry about all the aggro as well, the problems with your brother, my complicated life. You're a child and I should have protected you more,'' Cal felt a huge amount of guilt and utilised honesty, it was appropriate and Emily was entitled to such candour.

''Jono is not a problem dad, you've got a real downer on him you know. You should work on that,'' Emily showed what an amazing girl she was by thinking of someone else at a time when she could be forgiven for wallowing in her own grief.

''People keep telling me that, it's getting so I might have to listen soon,'' Cal admitted and Emily nodded.

''Yeah, you will. Whilst we're being honest, I really like Gill, more than that even. I think you've been a son of a bitch to her but she will forgive you even though you don't deserve it,'' Emily continued counselling her father as it distracted her from the black grief that was currently eating a hole in her soul. She had picked up that all was not well even through the trauma and she was tired of it, she wanted her father to be happy and she knew that Foster was the way to make that happen.

''We'll see. Marie called, she's worried about you,'' Cal couldn't quite believe that such altruistic people still existed but Marie was one in a million.

Emily laughed in disbelief and looked down as the tears began to gather again.

''She is going to hate me when she finds out,'' she whispered miserably.

''I doubt that love, I really doubt that,'' Cal embraced her as she started to sob again. He stood holding his daughter as she cried for the loss of the first man she had truly loved besides her father.

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Johnny stood looking at the obviously empty house with a growing sense of foreboding, Jake had sounded terrified and Johnny was at a loss when faced with what now seemed obvious.

He should have known that they would have relocated, this house held nasty memories for all of them.

Johnny had been so concerned with being a hero that he had failed to engage his brain, he had been threatened by what was clearly a seriously deranged man who had probably murdered someone. Johnny knew that he should have told his dad and left it to the grownups, he had been told this a million times recently but old habits die hard. Johnny had spent the last eight years or so being the grown up for his mother and he couldn't quite shake the habit.

That was all very well but what the hell did he do now?

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''Cal?'' Foster spoke from the bottom of the stairs and Cal's eyes widened in horror, Foster was standing in his robe with an anxious look on her face. Talk about blow their cover, Cal didn't think Emily was in any fit state for any more revelations but it was done now.

Cal stiffened as Emily turned her head to the voice and took in the sight that confronted her. She swung confused eyes between Foster and Cal. Cal held his breath, he had no idea what Foster was thinking but all he cared about was how Emily reacted to this latest development. Even he was struggling to keep up with his on/off relationship with Foster.

Emily's face split with the first genuine smile she had given in the last twenty four hours.

''Thank God, you guys should be together and all the drama is kinda wearing. Hope this is for keeps this time. Johnny'll be happy and so am I,'' Emily shocked her father to the core but there again, she had always been supportive of his relationship with Foster.

''Talking of Johnny,'' Foster had appeared for a reason not just because she wanted to make a dramatic entrance.

''What about him?'' Cal was alerted by her expression and he saw her search for the words.

''Oh you have got to be bloody joking, tell me you are joking,'' Cal was hit by anger then panic.

''His window is open, what if he didn't go of his own accord Cal?'' Foster was one step ahead and Cal froze, he hadn't even thought of that, he had assumed as he always assumed that Johnny was being troublesome again.

''Oh God dad, no,'' Emily was horror struck as well and Cal knew they were both looking to him to take control.

''Don't jump to conclusions, Johnny has a habit of this, we know he does,'' Cal reassured himself as much as anyone. Foster nodded and walked to Emily as Cal went in search of a phone.

''Your dad is right, he does,'' Foster took the young girl's hand who nodded uncertainly, she was feeling over whelmed by the speed this was all moving at. Murder, kidnapping, it felt crazy and unreal but unfortunately it was very real as the young man lying in the morgue proved.

Cal heard the front door as he finally located the phone under the couch, he threw the door open irritably, he was overcome with the feeling that his family were being hunted, time was of the essence.

''Ben!'' Cal exclaimed in surprise, he looked at the phone in his hand and then at Ben as the FBI man's cell began to ring. Ben searched for it as he pushed past Cal.

''Come in why don't you?'' Cal said sarcastically as he disconnected the call and couldn't help a mocking smile as Ben tried to answer the now silent phone.

''Hello,'' Ben barked as Cal waved the receiver in his hand at him. Ben rolled his eyes and pocketed the phone.

''Where's Johnny? I need to speak to him now,'' Ben was abrasive and Cal came over all defensive.

''He's a twelve year old child so before you go anywhere near him, you have to go through me first,'' Cal was unsettled by what he was reading on Ben's face.

''Lightman, we have a serious situation here and I need an official statement from Johnny that Jake gave him that gun. I have to prove that gun was in Turley's possession within the last month,'' Ben barked and Cal held his hands up, recoiling from the ferocity of Ben's demand.

''Calm down mate, you're gonna need to give me more than that before I agree to anything,'' Cal was keeping up a calm facade but Bens' demeanour was adding to Cal's already considerable alarm.

''I can't, national security,'' Ben replied huffily and Cal snorted derisively.

''Ain't happening matey, you're gonna need to do much better than that,'' Cal was not cooperating despite the fact that Foster was looking daggers at him, she was worried about Johnny even if Cal wasn't. Cal could see the condemnation in her face and it annoyed him.

''I am bloody worried but I'm trying my best here,'' Cal argued with her silent accusation and Ben looked confused.

''Lightman, this is serious,'' he reaffirmed,'' your kid is in danger.''

Ben made it much worse and Foster couldn't hold her tongue any longer.

''Cal, for God's sake just tell him. We can argue about the technicalities later. We can trust Ben, you know we can,'' Foster said forcibly as she strode across to the two men.

''Gill is right dad. Think about Bailey, do you want Johnny to be next?'' Emily collapsed into tears again and Foster tried to shush her whilst glaring at Cal.

''What the hell are you all talking about?'' Ben realised he was seriously out of the loop.

''No, you explain first,'' Cal stayed stubborn, knowledge was power and he needed information before the authorities closed ranks.

''Do you have a newspaper?'' Ben asked out of left field.

''A newspaper? Do you want me to get you a cup of coffee to go with that?'' Cal retorted.

''Oh Cal please,'' Foster snapped as she handed Ben the morning's paper that was lying on the door mat.

''Look at this,'' Ben showed Cal the front page, it carried the story of yet more dour economic news.

''Right so the whole world's skint, tell me something I don't know,'' Cal flicked it away with his hand, he saw his car keys on the side and grabbed them.

''Jeez, for a guy who makes his living observing, you can be pretty blind. Look there,'' Ben held it up again and pointed.

Cal's eyes grew wide as he read the small piece about the body of an Iraqi news correspondent, whose body had been discovered upstate in a shallow grave.

''Jeff and Ronnie?'' He asked incredulously and Ben nodded.

''Maybe, we think so. He had the back of his head blown off and we have the bullet. It matches the gun but as they are both saying the gun was stolen a month ago, we can't prove it. Turley reported it stolen, filed a police report and everything. Jake is refusing to talk and our only evidence is Johnny. It's all too circumstantial unless we can get the gun back in Turley's possession. Johnny's statement will do that for us. So where the hell is he?'' Ben was done explaining.

''Do you think they hurt Bailey?'' Emily had been listening intently, she couldn't bring herself to say kill. Cal gave Ben a warning stare, it was not his place and Ben sighed.

''I'm not sure honey but I promise I will find out for you okay?'' Ben glanced at her, his face softening with compassion but when he looked back to Cal, his eyes had hardened.

''You're obstructing an official investigation Lightman, I could arrest you,'' Ben warned and Cal squared up to him, there was real animosity between the two men and they both knew why.

''Cal, don't. This is not helping,'' Foster chose to step in and she laid her hand gently on Cal's arm, he glanced at her and then stepped back.

''So where the hell is Johnny?'' Ben asked again and he was met by an awkward silence.

Ben groaned and closed his eyes in despair.

''When was the last time you saw him?'' Ben was already dialling his cell.

''Last night. I sent him to bed after I found him mucking about with the alarm,'' Cal explained and Foster looked at him.

''Yeah, I know but hindsight is a great thing isn't it? I just thought he was spooked by being alone, it made sense at the time alright?'' Cal defended himself although he felt stupid.

''I have put out an amber alert and a team will be here soon,'' Ben did what he could.

''Are Turley and Baca in custody?'' Foster's cool head took charge.

Ben glanced at Emily who had stopped crying but was standing with a haunted, drawn face. Foster looked at her and then nodded.

''Em, let's go draw you a bath, it'll make you feel better,'' Foster led her away although she hated leaving but Emily's well being had to take precedence.

''They're not are they?'' Cal snarled as soon as the coast was clear.

''Turley is,'' Ben left half the question unanswered.

''I am fed up with you lot. I swear I'm not working with you anymore once this is over. No money is worth the aggravation, I've got a bloody family to consider,'' Cal felt powerless so lashed out.

''We had nothing on Baca, Child Services were not prepared to do anything and officially he hasn't committed a crime,'' Ben argued the agency's position.

''Do you really believe that?'' Cal asked as he stood at a loss, what did he do now?

''We are looking at the surveillance cameras from the hospital now,'' Ben admitted what he thought Baca was guilty of.

''So what we just sit here and wait do we? Wait for some nutter to blow us all away. That's just bloody great, what a fucking nightmare,'' Cal went to his hall closet and pulled a key from his pocket.

''What are you doing?'' Ben asked as Cal pulled what looked like a gun case from a high shelf.

''I thought you hated guns,'' Ben said helplessly, he wasn't sure he wanted Lightman brandishing a weapon, he was so pissed off that he was likely to turn it in his direction.

''I never said that, well I did but I consider them a necessary evil at times like these. Let's face it, I can't trust you lot to protect us can I?'' Cal filled the chamber.

''Just be careful with it,'' Ben mumbled as he knew Cal had a point.

The minutes ticked by, Ben stood by the front window waiting for his team whilst Cal paced up and down like a caged tiger.

When the back door opened, they both froze. Ben dropped down and pulled out his gun gesturing for Cal to follow suit which he did, for once doing what someone else told him. He'd been in enough war zones to know that you let the experienced guys run the show in these situations.

''Freeze, hands where I can see them,'' Ben yelled as he jumped from behind the counter, his legs spread and his weapon trained on the intruder.


	22. Chapter 22 Father and Son at War

Thanks for the reviews, much appreciated. As the reviewers on my Bonio story will tell you, if you have any ideas or opinions then let me know, I use them.

The situation between Johnny and Cal reaches boiling point here. Johnny is struggling with accepting his father's authority over him and it is driving Cal mad plus if we're honest, as lovely as Gill is as a mum, she is not helping by undermining Cal all the time. Cal thought he'd made his point but apparently not. Blended families are never easy which is why I like writing them so much plus I know alot about that particular subject.

The case rumbles on and will get dramatic next chapter. First, we have some family dynamics to fix. Warning- some bad language, Johnny of course!

Laters S X

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''It's me, it's just me! Don't shoot!'' Johnny yelled as he flung his hands above his head and closed his eyes expecting the worse.

Ben puffed out a frustrated sigh and lowered his weapon.

''Jesus Johnny, he could have bloody killed you,'' Cal stood up, Johnny noted the gun in his hand and felt his stomach drop with fear. His dad with a gun meant that the situation had escalated considerably.

''I'm sorry, I didn't know did I? It's not exactly normal to find a G man in your kitchen,'' Johnny was defiant in an attempt to hide his fright.

''Where the hell have you been and don't even think about lying to me?'' Anger replaced Cal's concern and Johnny knew that tone, he was not in a great position.

''Out, I went out that's all,'' Johnny watched Cal like a hawk and didn't miss the narrowing of his eyes, it hadn't been a lie, he had been out but he just didn't say where.

''Okay Johnny, sit down, I need to speak to you,'' Ben tried to calm the atmosphere. ''Do I have your permission?'' Ben asked Cal .

''Yeah go for your life although prepare to be disappointed,'' Cal said caustically as he waved his hand.

Unfortunately, he forgot he currently had a gun in that particular hand. Bend ducked as it nearly took his head off, he quirked an eyebrow at Cal who looked baffled.

''What?'' he asked belligerently and Ben pointedly removed the weapon and placed it carefully on the countertop.

''Oh right, sorry,'' Cal carried off the faux pas nonchalantly as he always did.

Johnny stifled a giggle, it was less an amused laugh, more one on the edge of hysteria.

''It is not bloody funny. Sit in that chair and tell us what you know, all of it,'' Cal removed the smile quickly but instead of obeying, Johnny backed up, he was stopped by the opposite counter.

He had nowhere to go and he knew that once he said what he was going to say then all hell would break loose. He had already suffered one spanking from Cal and he wasn't keen on a repeat performance, he had the suspicion that his father had gone easy but that was likely to change in the not too distant future.

''What is all the yelling? You are freaking Emily out,'' Foster chose that moment to put in an appearance, she walked straight into a very tense confrontation.

She took in the drawn weapons and the nervous child who turned begging eyes on her in one quick glance.

''Are you okay honey?'' she asked him softly and he nodded, throwing a pleading glance towards his father who was looking ready to pounce at any moment.

''What's the problem Cal?'' she asked as softly to him and Cal pursed his lips before answering her.

''Ben wants to talk to Johnny and he is refusing to do as he's told,'' Cal said in a very controlled, yet menacing way. ''Again!'' he barked the last point straight at his son who blushed.

''It's not that, it's the way he speaks to me, like I'm a dog or summink,'' Johnny protested and he was appalled as he felt tears of frustration and anger gather in his eyes.

''I do not talk to you like you're a dog, I speak to you like you are a disobedient, wilful, little sod and do you know why?'' Cal rebuked the claim defensively and stepped closer to Johnny who squared up to his father without a second thought.

''No, I don't but I bet you're gonna fucking tell me aren't you?'' Johnny notched up the temperature several points.

'' Because that's what you are as you just so eloquently proved. Don't speak to me like that, just don't,'' Cal was now incandescent and Johnny realised that maybe screaming obscenities wasn't the cleverest thing he'd ever done. Cal, for his part, did the right thing and got himself out of the vicinity before he did something he would regret. He walked behind the counter and looked helplessly at Foster. He needed her assistance.

''Are you enjoying this? Do you like constantly winding me up?'' Cal couldn't hold his tongue though.

''Yeah, I'm having a right laugh, can't you tell?'' Johnny spat back and Cal started over towards him despite all his good intentions but Foster stopped him by stepping in front of him.

''Johnny, apologise for your language now,'' Foster said firmly whilst she and Cal eyeballed each other.

''I'm sorry alright. I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry,'' Johnny tried to make amends. Cal shook a disbelieving head, Emily would never speak to him that way and he didn't really know how to handle it when Johnny did, which happened way too often for his liking.

''Sorry Gill,'' Johnny appealed to the one ally he believed he had in the room.

Foster gave a forgiving smile and held her arms out, Johnny went straight to her and she hugged him, placing a kiss on his head.

Cal threw his hands up in disgust, ''you are mollycoddling him, do you think he deserves a cuddle after what he just said. You did hear that right?''

Cal couldn't help feeling jealous, Foster had a way with Johnny and it reminded Cal that his relationship with his son had turned into an ongoing series of confrontations and arguments.

''I am not mollycoddling him, he said sorry and he is, aren't you?'' Foster smiled at the expression, it wasn't very Lightman like so was strangely endearing. Johnny nodded and Cal rolled his eyes

She glanced at Ben whose eyes showed that for once he agreed with Cal. Johnny stayed where he was, his face buried in her side, happy to accept her protection.

''Jono?'' Foster touched the top of his head and he had little choice other than to look at her.

''You need to sit down and speak to Ben, it's important,'' Foster coaxed and Johnny's eyes clouded.

''I can't,'' he said and Foster was surprised. Normally, he responded to this approach but there was a troubling expression on his face, his jaw was set and the line of his mouth, defiant.

''Well I'm sorry to hear that Johnny but you have to. Go and sit down, go on,'' Foster sent him towards the stool with a gentle push and she tried to avoid looking at Cal who she knew would be saying 'I told you so' with his eyes.

Johnny dragged himself over and slouched down, his resemblance to Cal touching or at least it would have been in different circumstances.

Ben sat opposite him and Cal went to stand right behind him, Johnny glanced up at his looming father nervously and then down at the countertop.

''Cal, come and stand here with me,'' Foster tried to use her influence to stop Cal intimidating the boy but he wasn't playing ball either. Neither of the Lightman men were in cooperative moods.

''No, you're alright. I'm just fine here,'' Cal dismissed her and Foster glared at him, he gave her a wide eyed, innocent stare back.

''You're being childish Cal,'' Foster admonished and Cal rankled as she undermined him so directly, they would definitely be talking about that later.

''I'm not telling you where I was, you can sod off,'' Johnny heard the sharp intake of breath from Cal who was struggling not to throttle the truth out of his truculent son.

''Johnny, please be polite. Ben is our friend and he is trying to help,'' Foster continued with the patient and reasoned approach. The look that Johnny gave her wasn't encouraging, sullen didn't start to cover it.

''I'm not here to talk about that. You can explain your disappearing act to your mom and dad later,'' Ben made a Freudian slip and Johnny looked about to correct him when Cal whispered in his ear.

''Watch it,'' he said and Johnny pulled his head abruptly away from him but did at least swallow the smart remark he had been about to make.

Johnny was baffled at why he now found himself in this position, he hadn't wanted this stand off but now he was here, he wasn't about to give in, not that he knew why. He just hated the idea that Cal believed he was the boss of him.

''I need you to tell me about the gun again and this time I'm going to record it okay?'' Ben clicked on a Dictaphone and without waiting for Johnny's agreement, he spoke the details into the recorder.

''Will that hold up in a court?'' Foster asked, it seemed pretty unlikely to her.

''No but we can do it properly later, this will be enough to get a warrant for Baca,'' Ben explained and Foster nodded, that made sense.

''So Johnny, who gave you the gun that you had in your possession on..?'' Ben gave the date and looked expectantly at Johnny, he was sure this would only take a few minutes and then Ben could launch a man hunt.

Johnny didn't answer immediately, he just blinked at Ben as he gathered the courage. Baca had been serious, he had killed Bailey and he was well trained. Johnny was under no illusions that the FBI could protect him or his family, they hadn't before and they wouldn't this time either.

''Answer Ben honey,'' Foster did it again and when Johnny looked at her, she saw guilt, he didn't want to humiliate Foster but he had no choice. He had to protect those he loved.

''Nobody, I found it. I found it at my dad's company. It was in a backpack under a desk,'' Johnny had had time to think about this and he had come up with a believable story.

Foster looked at Johnny with disbelief but when she glanced at Cal he didn't look surprised at all.

''May I?'' he asked her with a tip of the head and she held her hand up.

''Be my guest,'' Foster hated the look that Johnny gave her, the betrayal was stark but she really thought Cal had a point.

Cal span the stool around so Johnny was facing him and leaned right into his personal space, Johnny watched him the whole way. He had little choice, Cal had him trapped which Foster now realised was his intention all along.

''Tell Ben the truth and then when you are done, you are going to tell me where you went this morning,'' Cal said in a low voice and Johnny shrank back from him but then he shook his head. Cal stilled and then he gave a tight smile.

''Gave you a chance boyzy, lucky for you, I have a way that means we don't need your statement but will clear this mess up for Ben but..'' Cal pointed when he saw relief on Johnny's face.

''That is not going to change the fact that you are a liar and I cannot abide liars plus you have a really bad attitude so you will be getting a bloody, good hiding in about ten minutes. You can sit there and think about that whilst I put Ben out of his misery,'' Cal beckoned Ben over to the side, he was feeling stupid but it only occurred to him at the moment that Johnny issued his denial. Johnny fixed miserable eyes on his hands and sniffed, he was trying to be a hero here and no one seemed to be noticing.

''Cal, that will not be necessary,'' Foster countered his threat but the only reply she got from Cal was a warning stare. She knew he was working so kept quiet for now.

''The boy, Jake, he told me that he gave Johnny the gun,'' Cal said quietly to Ben who frowned.

''Any witnesses?'' Ben asked and Cal shook his head, he knew that could be a problem.

''We were sitting under a bloody table at the time, boys, they're a nightmare, '' Cal glanced over at his own little nightmare and Ben gave a sardonic laugh.

''Yeah well, you did a pretty good job of putting the fear of god into your boy ,'' Ben pointed out and Cal gave cocky head tilt.

''Yeah I did didn't I?'' he tucked his hands into his pocket and rocked on the soles of his feet.

''You got any ideas?'' Ben asked and Cal held a finger up.

''He also told me his dad gave him the gun. Put me in front of a judge and I'll get you your warrant,'' Cal suggested but Ben looked doubtful.

''You don't do so well with judges,'' Ben had to say it and Cal gave his broadest grin.

''What, me? Nah, I can be charm personified, me. You're gonna need to trust me so you are,'' Cal placed an arm round Ben and led him to the door. Ben let him, aware that he was the key to this case which could explode in Ben's face if he wasn't careful, they already had one dead kid.

''Right, me and Ben here are going to sort this mess. Which means you, boyzy, have a temporary reprieve but it's only for a coupla of hours, give you some time to see the error of your ways won't it? Gill love, take care of the kids'' Cal made his way over to her and placed a kiss on her cheek whilst he casually made it clear she was the only person he would trust with such an important task.

''Mind yer mum Jono,'' Cal said with a wink before making his way back to Ben. Foster blushed and folded her arms awkwardly when she realised Johnny was looking very confused.

''He's kidding,'' she said with a sniff and Cal poked his head back in the room.

''About that I was, about the hiding, not so much. See you later,'' then Cal was gone.

'' Do you think he really means it?'' Johnny asked earnestly and Foster sighed because she knew Cal was deadly serious, he was at the end of his tether and was about ready to go nuclear. Johnny had pushed him once too often, she also knew that the previous time had been a dress rehearsal, this time was for real, Johnny was in big trouble.

She sat down beside the fretting boy, nursing some much needed coffee and stroked some stray hair from his eyes.

''Are we safe?'' Johnny asked in a small voice and Foster nodded.

''Your dad would not leave us if we weren't. The house is surrounded,'' Foster reassured him and his face lightened a little.

''Do you know what Jono?'' Foster dipped her head to catch his eye.

''What?'' Johnny laid his head on his arms and looked up at her.

''I think it would help a lot if you told me where you went,'' Foster suggested and Johnny nodded.

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''Told yer,'' Cal brandished the paper with smug glee and Ben rolled his eyes before snatching the precious document from his hand.

''I swear what is it with you and women? Why do they fall for what I can only call your questionable charm?'' Ben was baffled and not a little irritated by Cal's easy way with the ladies.

''It's a conundrum innit?'' Cal smirked as he climbed into the car.

''You going home?'' Ben asked and Cal nodded.

''Yeah, I can spend some quality time with my nearest and dearest whilst you lot get this maniac. Don't take too long though cos we don't get on that well as you might have noticed,'' Cal laughed as he put on his seat belt.

''You actually going to whale on him or was it just another of your empty threats?'' Ben was curious as Cal was often full of hot air when it came to Johnny.

''I dunno, you say this stuff as a dad but when it comes to it...'' Cal trailed off and looked out of the window. '' I find it a little tricky that's all plus there's Gill. She's not going to be thrilled if I lay a hand on her golden boy again,'' Cal was more open than he intended to be.

''Well, I'm not a parent but I see plenty of kids who, if their dads had stepped up to the plate at the right time may have had very different lives,'' Ben reasoned and Cal sucked in a breath.

''Yeah, me too. I s'pose I am gonna have to suffer Foster's disapproval for boyzy's sake, his need is greater than hers. Won't be the first time I've pissed her off will it?'' Cal laughed as he came to the decision that he knew Foster would not approve of, not this time, Ben gave an agreeing chuckle.

''You can say that again. Didn't you try the whole tough love thing already with Johnny?'' Ben could see a fatal flaw in the plan.

''No, he thinks I did but I didn't really. Last time was a warning shot, he chose to ignore it so now he learns the hard way that he can't do as he pleases all the time,'' Cal got serious.

''Kid's not really used to having a father around is he? Maybe you should let it ride?'' Suddenly, Ben felt sorry for Johnny, Cal was very pissed off.

''He knows, he just won't have it. Come on Ben, we both know that this kid can't afford many more life threatening encounters plus, like it or not, my work does sometimes cross over into my family and I have to be able to trust him to listen to me when he has to,'' Cal gave a convincing argument and Ben nodded.

''Yeah, I guess you're right but I don't envy you convincing Gill, she loves that kid and dare I say it, does spoil him sometimes,'' Ben pulled onto the freeway.

''She'll understand,'' Cal said it but he didn't believe it.

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So does Cal need to back off or the exact opposite? Its upto you lot. I'm going to give you a say, its your story as well after all. I like to involve you as it keeps things interesting!

Review and let me know, S X


	23. Chapter 23 The Painful Consequences

Thank you for the great reviews, way to keep a girl going. On a roll but won't be able to keep it up indefinitely as I have a life to return to but this holiday in FF world has been great!

I have just posted on my Bonio story and it is in a similar vein, maybe my own mood is truculent, who knows? The storylines are different but apologies to those who are reading both and may be bothered by the similarities.

Both boys are pushing their luck but they both have dads who can handle it, lucky little sods.

Laters, S X

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''Johnny, do you trust us?'' Foster was conflicted, she had listened silently to Johnny whilst he relayed the whole sorry tale. She was horrified to learn that Baca had been in their house and that horror intensified when she learnt that Johnny had tried to find Jake that morning. Her blood ran cold at the thought of what could have happened to him. However, the overriding emotion she was struggling with was hurt, hurt that despite everything they had been through together, Johnny had kept this to himself.

''You're upset cos I didn't come to you for help aren't you?'' Johnny read her right off, reminding her whose DNA he carried.

''Yeah honey, I have to admit I am,'' Foster was honest and Johnny sighed.

''I've always looked after myself Gill, it's what I do. I forget sometimes that I have a proper family now, I just get on with it cos I always have. I'm sorry, I know that's a rubbish reason but it is the reason,'' Johnny grimaced and Foster wondered how long it would take before he fully adjusted, she wasn't sure she could wait much longer.

''Is your dad right? If that is the reason, maybe he's right when he says that you need reminding. That you need the threat of a consequence that will force you to do the right thing,'' Foster suggested and Johnny pulled a disgruntled face.

He had been telling himself he had been doing the right thing, he knew that wasn't true. He'd learnt from his previous experiences but playing the hero appealed to him, make him feel like the big man. He considered telling Foster that but then changed his mind, he was supposed to be getting Gillian onside not making her angry at him.

''I'm not gonna answer that Gill, I'm not stupid,'' Besides Johnny wasn't about to agree with Cal about anything.

''What aren't you saying?'' She asked gently and he looked away, his hair fell over his face and then she knew her suspicion was correct.

''Johnny, he is your father and he has the right, the duty to tell you what to do sometimes. I know you hate that but it is the way of the world. There are occasions when we all have to bow to authority and you are no different,'' Foster gave the lesson in the realities of life as kindly as she could.

''He doesn't, no one tells him what to do,'' Johnny grumbled and Foster smiled indulgently, he sounded so young.

''You think?'' Foster laughed and Johnny looked up at her in surprise.

''Yes Johnny, even your father does occasionally have to listen to other people,'' Foster watched Johnny's doubting face, it was extremely cute because she realised that in actual fact Cal was a hero in Johnny's eyes. The ultimate rebellious hero who strode through life righting wrongs, it was the correct way of the world, a boy of this age should admire his father. Unfortunately, Johnny's way of showing that was by trying to emulate him, the problem was that he was a twelve year old child, more and more her child these days.

''He does Jono, if you look at it from another point of view, Dad's whole life is doing what other people want him to, not that he would ever admit it. He serves, he would hate me saying that but his whole life has been about serving his country, my country. It's his life, he does it for money now but he still does it,'' Emily appeared from nowhere to help Gillian and the older woman was relieved to see she looked better.

''Em, you okay?'' Johnny went straight over to her and hugged her.

''Yeah I'm okay, well as okay as I can be,'' Emily stepped back and stroked her brother's hair.

''I heard what you said to dad Jono, you can't talk to him that way. You won't win and he loves you way too much to let you mess up plus he's a stubborn son of a bitch. You are gonna have to start minding him, you just are. He won't take that from you, he won't take that kinda crap from anyone and that includes me and you,'' Emily reinforced Foster's words and the two women enjoyed a moment of unity.

Johnny sighed and looked between them.

''Did you hear what I told Gill?'' he asked and Emily nodded.

''Yeah I did and it was dumb Jono, real dumb,'' Emily scolded him.

''We all love you honey,'' Foster reminded him and he nodded.

''Yeah I know,'' he shrugged and gave a sheepish smile.

''Even your dad,'' Foster reemphasised.

''Him, more than anyone. He can be your best friend Jono, if you'd let him,'' Emily said and Johnny blushed.

''But never forget that above all he is your father and part of that means that if you do something wrong, he will come down on you,'' Foster thought that Johnny needed a parent way more than any more friends.

''I get it and I will try but when he starts shouting, I can't help shouting back,'' Johnny wandered away from Emily and sat back down beside Foster. He gave her a speculative look and she rolled her eyes.

''Don't you think that on this occasion your dad has a point? You swore at him, you left the house to do something very dangerous and you told lies,'' Foster thought it was quite a list.

''I didn't lie,'' Johnny protested and Foster gave him a stern look.

''I didn't,'' Johnny said weakly.

''I'm gonna make tea cos I can see this is going to take a while,'' Emily padded over to the kettle, her brother was as stubborn as her father.

''Not being honest is lying Johnny and you know it. Don't you?'' Foster waited and Johnny sighed.

''I s'pose,'' he grumbled.

''Take what you can get Gill, take what you can get,'' Emily advised and Foster had to stop herself laughing.

In the back of her mind, the psychologist was telling her that Cal was playing catch up with his son, these lessons should have been learned many years ago but they hadn't been. For Johnny's future happiness, he had to learn to live within societies parameters. Yes, he could be a rebel but not in a harmful, self destructive way. The mom part of her wanted to hug and kiss him to death plus feed him sugar or whatever he wanted, just so long as he was happy. It was heady and intoxicating, receiving unconditional love and Foster didn't want to spoil it.

''Shall I make pancakes?'' Foster gave into the mom and was rewarded with a bright smile.

''I like lemon and sugar on mine,'' Johnny said.

''Your wish is my command,'' Foster bathed in the approval of an indulged child whilst Emily looked despairingly on.

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''So we will stay on lock down. It's the best thing to do,'' Cal said as he looked up at his house, he spotted the FBI agents dotted around.

''Do you think you can do that?'' Ben wasn't convinced, Cal wasn't one for lying low.

''Ben mate, my daughter's boyfriend was killed by this nutter, I have my priorities. My kids need me to be there for them,'' Cal reassured him and Ben was impressed, it would appear that even Lightman could swallow his pride when his children were involved.

''Keep me up to speed,'' Cal jumped from the car.

''Honey, I'm home,'' he yelled as he crashed through the door.

''Hey dad, you okay?'' an anxious Emily met him half way to the kitchen.

''Yeah love, it's under control. We have to stay put for awhile,'' Cal responded to her anxiety, she would be feeling a little insecure to say the least.

''Mom didn't call dad,'' Emily was eaten up with worry and Cal frowned, Zoe would not ignore his messages. Emily needed her, she would come running, she always did.

''Right, I'll get hold of Ben, see what he can find out about that,'' Cal kept his voice level but that news scared the hell out of him. His family were being hunted and this guy was a professional, he may well have identified the weak link. Somewhere along the line this had become more about a personal vendetta and less about avoiding a murder charge.

He dialled and spoke quickly and concisely whilst Emily hovered at his shoulder.

''He's on it darling, he'll get back to us pronto,'' Cal slung an arm around her and looked into her face. He touched her cheek gently, a question in his eyes.

''Hanging in there dad, hanging in there,'' Emily answered it and Cal nodded, she was strong and holding it together. She would fall apart when it was safe to do so.

''Uuum dad, you have another problem,'' Emily caught Cal's arm as he started for the kitchen

''What love?'' Cal didn't think it could get much worse.

''Gill's acting kinda strange, she's being really wussy with Johnny who is loving it way too much. He went out to find Jake this morning because he called him and Baca broke into the house when we were at the hospital, threatened Johnny and told him to lie about the gun. Gill just listened and she kinda said he should have told you but then she made him pancakes. It's all real weird dad,'' Emily reminded Cal that she didn't know about the baby so was unaware that hormones were kick starting Foster's maternal instinct which appeared to have gone into overdrive.

''Right so that's gonna make for a fun filled morning innit? Cos boyzy and I need a chat,'' Cal was grim and Emily's face fell.

''Don't worry Em, I've got this okay? Just try not to get involved, you have enough on your mind. This is my problem,'' Cal was patronising, not that he realised it and Emily sighed in frustration as she followed him into the kitchen.

Johnny looked up with his mouth stuffed with his fourth pancake, guilt and then fear crossed his face before he looked away. Foster was sitting reading the paper nearby, it looked like the perfect domestic scene apart from the armed guard standing at the window.

''All done? Did you get the court order?'' Foster roused immediately.

''Yep, the judge was putty in my hands,'' Cal poured himself some coffee and watched as Johnny slipped away, running rapidly up the stairs.

''Something I said?'' Cal asked with raised eyebrows.

''Oh Cal, come on, give a little. He didn't think that's all,'' Foster protected her cub just as Cal expected.

''Em,'' Cal said, he flicked his head, they needed some privacy. Emily flounced away, aggrieved at his highhandedness, annoyed that it still riled her, you'd think she would be used to it by now!

''I'm not going to argue with you about this,'' Foster said frostily.

''Well that's a relief cos I thought we were gonna have a huge row,'' Cal was being his most irritating.

''No, I am however prepared to have a reasonable discussion with you,'' Foster replied evenly even though she could feel herself rising to the bait.

''About what exactly love?''Cal put some bread in the toaster.

''Don't s'pose you left me any pancakes?'' he asked hopefully and Foster took a moment.

''You know what Cal? Johnny told me what happened, he was threatened and he was scared,'' Foster knew that Emily had told him, she heard her, she also heard that Emily thought she was being odd which Foster found quite offensive.

''Which is unfortunate but most normal kids would have screamed blue murder not launched a rescue operation. He's a liar Gillian and I told him, I made it very clear if you remember?'' Cal began to butter his toast and Foster felt her irritation grow, this man drove her to distraction.

''Never boring though is it love?'' Cal said suddenly as he read her face.

''Don't do that, its bloody annoying,'' Foster snapped and Cal chuckled.

''You have definitely been spending too much time with me and my family, you're not gonna start using the F word are you?'' Cal was amused.

''Cal, please. This is serious, '' Foster was most definitely not amused.

''Yeah you're right, it is. As serious as a heart attack, that's what you lot say innit?'' Cal ate his toast as he surveyed the garden and was reassured by the two agents nearby.

''Cal, I do not want you to spank Johnny. That is my final word,'' Foster sniffed and Cal seemed to consider her words.

''Sorry love, no can do. I warned him and I've said it now. He will never take a word I say seriously ever again if I don't follow through and you know that,'' Cal finished his toast and wiped his hands on a napkin.

''But,'' Foster knew there was some truth in that.

''I am sorry that it upsets you but sometimes being a parent is hard and this is just one of those times. You're gonna have to take it on the chin,'' Cal came around the counter whilst she stared stonily at him.

''You look lovely today by the way,'' Cal kissed her, pulled back an inch or two and grinned at her. She held her stony face for about ten seconds and then laughed.

''If it helps, he will suffer no permanent damage from me, I can give no such assurances about Baca and all the other nutters standing in line to take his place which is why I have to do this. It is for his own good,'' Cal winked and Foster shook her head at the cliché.

''He won't see it that way Cal,'' Foster said as Cal went to the stairs.

''No, he won't but I'm not trying to win any popularity contests here. Anyway he hates me already so ...'' Cal shrugged.

''Oh love, take this. I'm waiting for Ben to call me,'' Cal threw her his phone.

Cal didn't knock, he just pushed the already ajar door open and stood at the doorway.

Johnny stared at the screen where he was in the semi finals of the virtual World Cup.

''How yer doing?'' Cal looked at the TV.

''Blimey, beating the Germans, that's a turn up. Not ever gonna happen in real life though,'' Cal stayed where he was.

''You a vampire or summick, need me to invite you in?'' Johnny was belligerent but it was like water off a duck's back. Cal regretted his earlier blow out and was determined not to do it again.

''So can I come in then?'' Cal gestured.

''No,'' Johnny said and Cal laughed as he swaggered in, Johnny glanced up at him warily.

''What do you want?'' he asked nervously, his apprehension grew when Cal shut the door.

''What do you reckon I want?'' Cal pulled out the desk chair and sat on it, it was an action that Johnny didn't like and he shuffled away as far as he could.

''I'm sorry that I swore at you and that I went out and that I didn't tell you about Baca,'' the apologies tumbled out.

''Oh that's alright then,'' Cal replied and Johnny looked stunned.

''What, really?'' He stuttered but then he saw Cal's face.

''Are you enjoying this?'' he snarled.

''No son, I'm not. I really am not. I have a lot of things going on at the moment and it would be great if once just once you weren't in the middle of the strife trying your best to get yourself killed,'' Cal's face hardened and Johnny glared at him. Then he signed his own death warrant, he sucked his teeth at Cal whose face flushed with temper.

''That son, was well out of order. You need a serious attitude adjustment,'' Cal just about managed not to shout.

''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to,'' Johnny was fast with the apology but it didn't help much.

''Yeah you did cos you have absolutely no respect for me so we're going to try and change that,'' Cal lost patience and he leaned over and grabbed the front of Johnny's shirt, pulling him in close.

''That's not true, I do respect you. I do, honest,'' Johnny was now panicking, his father was a lot angrier than the last time this happened.

''Stop lying to me Jono, tell me the truth, that's all you have to do. Be honest and I will be the nicest dad in the world. You got it?'' He whispered and Johnny nodded.

''Right, this will help remind you,'' Cal pulled him easily over his knee, Johnny was a scrawny, wiry kid and no match for Cal who was a lot stronger than he looked.

Cal put some effort in, smacking him firmly which meant Johnny started to cry after the second swat.

Johnny, for his part, tried to be stoic but his dad meant business this time and it hurt, it hurt a lot. It seemed to go on for hours and Johnny was mightily relieved when Cal pulled him up by the back of the shirt and stood him up. He jumped from foot to foot as the stinging seemed to intensify rather than lessen now his dad had stopped. He wanted to hang tough but couldn't stop the treacherous tears that told the real story.

''This sorted then? We clearer now?'' Cal asked, he bloody hoped so because his hand was killing him and that was the worst he had. Cal was honest enough to know he was running out of options, he just prayed this worked or Johnny would be on his way to military school.

Johnny sniffed back the tears and then nodded.

''Sorry dad,'' he managed to say. Cal blew out his exasperation and then pulled him for a hug.

''Come here, you silly sod. Just behave yourself from now on, for my sake as well as yours,'' Cal said and Johnny nodded.

''I will dad, honest I will.''

XyXyXyXyXy

Cal came downstairs, feeling a lot happier than he'd expected but that changed in a heartbeat after one look at Gillian's face.

''Ben,'' she held the phone out and went to a terrified Emily as soon as Cal took it.

''It's okay, it will be okay,'' Gillian squeezed her shoulders but Emily was staring at Cal with deer in the headlight eyes.

''What? When?'' Cal looked over at Emily and his eyes told her what she already knew. Her mother was missing!


	24. Chapter 24 A Brave Little Boy

Thanks for the reviews, you all agreed with Cal's actions which was a relief.

This is a short one but will be my last update for a few days so wanted to give you something.

I know that Zoe isn't popular, not that keen on her myself but she is Emily's mum so is an important member of Cal's family.

Laters S

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''Ben will be here in five minutes. He'll explain,'' Cal felt his legs buckle, this was turning into a train crash. His entire family were under attack and Cal felt powerless to stop it.

''What happened dad? Where is she?'' Emily choked out, she felt numb, this was too much and she shut down, a strange, inappropriate calm settled over her as her body sought to protect her from such an extreme assault on already battered emotions.

''She came into Dulles early this morning and hasn't been seen since,'' Cal relayed and Foster pulled Emily closer. Emily nodded and looked down at her hands. Foster stared up at Cal, at a loss for how she could offer any comfort.

Cal crouched down in front of the huddled couple and took Emily's hand.

''I will find your mum and she will be fine, I will Em, trust me,'' Cal promised because the alternative was unthinkable.

''Can I help?'' Emily looked up, her face white as a sheet.

''You have to stay here Em. I need you to be safe, I can't risk anything happening to you as well. Gill will be here but I have to go with Ben. He needs me to question Turley, find out what he knows. His family are missing as well,'' Cal told her and Emily nodded, she didn't argue which was a bad sign.

Cal stood up and went to fetch his gun, he knew he would need it. Foster let Ben in who nodded at Cal.

''He's at your office,'' Ben said grimly, he looked at Emily who was staring blankly into space.

''Where's your boy?'' Ben asked and Cal looked up from loading his gun.

''Upstairs,'' he replied.

''Go get him, I want you guys to stay in this room. If you have to go the bathroom, then go together. I don't want anyone alone,'' Ben made it clear that this was a very serious situation.

''Dad?'' Johnny was standing at the bottom of the stairs holding his phone in his hand.

''I think you should take this,'' he held it out.

''Not now Jono,'' Cal didn't look at him so he didn't register the trembling or the shock.

''Lightman,'' Ben said, he noticed and Cal did then look over, he took it immediately.

''It's Jake,'' Johnny said.

''Jake? Jake ? Can you hear me?'' Cal softened his voice, he didn't want to scare the boy any more than he already was.

''Doctor Lightman, I'm scared. I need you to help me, please help me,'' Jake was just about coherent but he was on the edge of hysteria.

''I will son, I will but you need to help me first. You need to be brave and calm down okay?'' Cal was gentle as he could hear Jake breathing hard at the other end.

''Are you there son?'' Cal tried to control his voice so Jake didn't think he was anything but in control.

Foster noticed that Johnny was looking nauseous and beckoned him over. He went to her collapsing beside her and hiding his face in her side.

She put her arm around him and pulled both children in tight, she wasn't letting go anytime soon. Anybody intent on hurting these kids would have to go through her first and that would be no easy task.

''Yeah I'm here,'' a small voice finally said at the end of the phone.

''Do you know where you are?'' Cal looked up at Ben who was gesturing.

''I have a trace on that phone, keep him talking, we need a few minutes,'' Ben said and Cal nodded, waving his hand to shut Ben up as he tried to hear Jake who was barely audible.

Johnny glared at Ben, why was there a trace on his phone?

''I can't hear you son, can you speak louder?'' Cal urged.

''I can't, he'll hear me. He doesn't know I have my mom's phone, I'm in the bathroom,'' Jake whispered.

''Good boy, you're doing a great job son,'' Cal praised him.

''There's a lady here. I can hear her crying, she's locked in the bedroom at the end of the hallway,'' Jake made Cal's blood run cold, so Baca did have his ex-wife, this just got better and better.

''We are going to come to get you but we have to find you first,'' Cal stared over at Ben, what was taking so long? He mouthed and Ben shrugged.

Then Cal heard a huge bang and Jake's gasp made it clear he had been discovered.

''He's here, I have to go. I have to go,'' Jake said as Cal heard somebody yelling in the background, It was muffled but it definitely wasn't friendly.

''No son, don't hang up. Don't hang up, throw the phone out of the window, leave it on and throw it out of the window,'' Cal told the boy firmly.

There was no answer but Cal heard some scuffling and then he heard birds singing.

''What the hell Ben? Don't you have it yet, that boy is in serious danger,'' Cal yelled at the FBI agent who turned his back on him.

''Dad?'' Emily spoke in a daze.

''We've found her darlin','' Cal crouched down again. ''I am going to go with Ben and I will bring her home to you,'' Cal gave a tight smile and Emily nodded.

''Good girl,'' Cal stood up and placed a long, lingering kiss on the top of Emily's head, he pulled back slightly and pressed his hand on her cheek.

''I will be back soon okay?'' Cal said and Emily blinked rapidly.

''But dad, no! No!'' Emily clutched the lapel of his jacket.

''Stay here, stay here. Let Ben go dad, you could get hurt,'' Emily's befuddled brain told her that he was potentially all she had left in the world, she didn't want him at any risk.

Cal placed his forehead on hers and put his hand on the back of her head.

''I won't let that happen Em, I won't. You have to let me go, your mum needs you to let me go,'' Cal did not want to leave without Emily's agreement.

Emily didn't let go, if anything her grip tightened.

''Em, darlin' '' Cal said again then Emily slowly released him.

''I will not get hurt, I promise,'' Cal said again before he stood up. He gave Foster the eyes and she nodded.

''Be a good boy,'' Cal kissed Johnny's head, placed his hand on Foster's cheek and then he nodded to Ben who was waiting impatiently by the door.

''Be careful,'' Foster called after him.

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They pulled up just as the house was surrounded.

''Your lot keeping a low profile again I see,'' Cal wasn't impressed.

''It's a kidnapping, we can't afford to be seen to be any less than proactive,'' Ben toed the party line.

''Right as long as the agency looks good,'' Cal climbed out of the car and Ben followed him, not wanting to let Cal loose during a hostage situation. There was just no telling what he might do, the term 'a loose cannon' was created for Lightman.

''Lightman! Lightman! '' Ben trotted after Cal who was swaggering through the police cars, as he passed several of the crouched cops looked at him in surprise. One agent tried to block his way, Cal got as close as he could, chest to chest, nose to nose. The two men eyed each other and then Cal grinned, stepped back and pointed at Ben.

''I'm with him,'' Cal started to walk again but the agent put his hand out.

''Let him go,'' Ben told him so he did.

''Right mate, which end of the house do you reckon?'' Cal stood surveying the house, Ben standing beside him.

''I need to talk to the negotiator, stay here, don't move okay?'' Ben was conflicted but he had to get some information.

''No worries,'' Cal said absentmindedly as he tapped his chin with a considering finger. Ben walked away and then stopped, looking back at Cal.

''Piss off yer wanker, I'll be here when you get back,'' Cal taunted and Ben gave a heavy sigh before striding away.

''Oh well in for a penny, in for a pound,'' Cal pulled the gun from the back of his trousers and stepped forward.


	25. Chapter 25 A Dreaded Request

Thanks for the reviews. As you all said Johnny got his hero complex from guess who?

Hope you enjoy this one, let me know.

Laters S X

XyXyXy

Cal put the gun on the ground and walked towards the house, he stopped and watched with satisfaction as a curtain flickered.

''Send her out Ronnie and you can have me. That's what you want isn't it?'' Cal called out and he heard silence descend behind him. He hadn't needed a negotiator to tell him Ronnie's demands, Cal was the price and he was offering himself in exchange for Zoe's safety. He blocked out his assurances to Emily, he would do his best to remain unscathed but if he didn't manage it then at least Emily would have her mother.

''Lightman! Lightman! For God's sake, get down. What the hell are you doing?'' Ben hissed behind him but Cal responded by stepping forward and putting his hands on his head.

''How do I know it's not a trick?'' Ronnie's voice confirmed he had seen him. Cal braced himself, Ronnie might just shoot him there and then but Cal was taking a calculated risk. He knew that Ronnie hated him but he had also lost his mind. He would want Cal to suffer because he blamed him for his own suffering.

''Send her out Ronnie and I will come to you. You still have the woman and boy don't you? The FBI won't come in whilst you still have them,'' Cal gave a logical argument and there was silence from the house. Cal smiled confidently, he was considering it and Cal knew he would accept the exchange.

The door of the house opened and Zoe stepped onto the porch. She was a mess, her face streaked with tears and she appeared to have a wound on her head. Cal hoped that was the explanation for the blood that covered her clothes.

''Come on love,'' Cal said softly and Zoe walked unsteadily towards him.

Her eyes were filled with terror and she stopped in front of him.

''Cal, what about Emily?'' Zoe wasn't pleased with his act of self sacrifice although she was grateful.

''Couldn't let her lose her mum Zo, just couldn't,'' Cal was only too aware of the damage that caused.

''Double cross him, come with me,'' Zoe didn't think Emily would cope with the loss of her father much better.

''He'd hurt the boy and I can't let that happen love, sorry,'' he knew he should put his own family first but he had promised Jake. It was important to Cal that he kept his end of the bargain, Jake had helped him now Cal had to return the compliment. He knew if he reneged he would never be able to look in a mirror again.

''Cal, no! Please,'' Zoe grabbed his arm but he pulled it away.

''Love, we're short on time here. I have to go,'' Cal swaggered to the door without a backward glance.

Baca pulled him in and closed the door again, he turned to Cal, his eyes aflame with rage and hate.

''You took your time,'' he said menacingly.

''Yeah well bloody women, always have to argue about everything don't they?'' Cal smirked.

The room was dark and the blinds were drawn, Baca knew how to make it hard for the FBI.

''You did this, you son of a bitch. You and that fucking company of yours. They know now, everyone fucking knows,'' Ronnie backhanded Cal and he flew across the room.

Cal sat up and shook his head, he touched his jaw tentatively and waited for the stars to clear.

''Ronnie, don't. Please don't,'' Cal heard Becky pleading with Baca and he forced himself to his feet. He looked around for the boy and saw him cowering on a nearby couch.

''Ronnie mate, you need to calm down or you're gonna make a mistake,'' Cal appealed to his pride and he saw in his face that it worked.

''I know what I'm fucking doing here. I know that you're valuable so are a good bargaining chip, I also know that if I hurt a woman or a kid then I am dead. I have maximised my position, boosted my chances of survival, they won't come in here when I have them will they? Still fucking frightened after Waco,'' Ronnie was more coherent than Cal expected.

''What is your preferred outcome here Ronnie?'' Cal asked because he wasn't sure and he also wanted to keep Baca in warrior mode.

''Survival is my ultimate goal. Oh and I want to kill you but not just yet. For now, you're gonna get me out of here,'' Ronnie didn't beat around the bush. Cal heard Jake whimper and Ronnie's eyes blazed.

''Don't be such a fucking wuss. Be a fucking man, be a man,'' Ronnie dragged Jake from the couch and the boy screamed in terror.

''Ronnie, don't make him scream like that. The FBI might get the wrong idea,'' Cal tried to sound casual.

''Fucking kids are a pain in the ass,'' Ronnie released him and Jake scrambled onto the couch, curling himself in a ball. Cal thought it was a good move, make yourself small and invisible was a lesson that Cal had learned long ago as well.

''Tell me about it,'' Cal saw in Becky's face simmering hate and loathing, her maternal instincts were very much alive and this man was threatening her baby. Cal winked at her when she glanced at him, she frowned. This was hardly an amusing predicament.

''Don't look at her, you don't look at her,'' Baca saw the exchange and it did not please him. He stalked over to Cal, his macho pride overriding the professional soldier in him.

Cal stood his ground and he caught Becky's eye over Ronnie's shoulder, he flicked his eyes at the window shade that she was standing a yard or so away. She looked at it and then Cal, a light of understanding coming into her face.

Baca pistol whipped Cal this time and Jake made the mistake of letting out a stifled sob as he tried to bury himself in the back of the couch. Baca glared and started over towards him.

That was his undoing because he pushed Becky to act, she ripped the shade down in a split second and Baca turned instinctively towards the sound, the light blinding him.

He froze for a microsecond, the sound of gunfire rang out and then he went totally still.

Becky rushed to Jake as Lightman staggered yet again to his feet. He glanced at Baca and he saw a trickle of crimson blood run down the bridge of his nose from the small black hole in the middle of his forehead. He fell face down with a loud crash.

It was only then that Cal noticed that Baca's brain was decorating the wall behind him.

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Cal helped Zoe from the car, she was shaky and close to collapse. Ben opened the front door for them.

''Mom, oh god mom,'' Emily was there in a shot but she stopped short when she saw the state of Zoe.

''She's alright love, just shaken up,'' Cal reassured his daughter as he half carried Zoe to the couch. Johnny scrambled out of his way and stood well out of the way.

''What's all that blood,'' Emily was right behind her father and she still wasn't satisfied her mother was unhurt.

''Just a small cut on her head. The paramedics checked her over and she's fine, well physically anyway,'' Cal tucked the blanket around his ex-wife and she stared at him.

''Thank you Cal. That was the bravest thing anyone has ever done for me,'' she said unsteadily.

''And the stupidest,'' Ben snorted, he wasn't as impressed by Cal's heroism, it could have gone very wrong.

Johnny looked at Foster who was standing in the background, he gulped as he watched his happy ending receding once more.

''Couldn't let my girls down could I?'' Cal grinned and Emily knelt down beside him.

''Are you sure you're okay mom?'' she asked in a small voice.

''Yes honey, your dad made sure,'' Zoe replied and Emily placed an arm around Zoe and then the other around Cal, she pulled them both in and hugged tight.

Johnny couldn't bear it any longer. He went straight to Foster and hugged her, burying his head deep into her shoulder. She was surprised and hugged him back.

'' It's okay Jono, they're all safe,'' she whispered into his hair.

''It's not that,'' Johnny lifted his head and looked over at the group that very definitely did not include him.

''Do you want some tea?'' Cal stood up and Zoe nodded.

''That would be great Cal,'' Zoe said as Emily sat on the couch next to her and laid her head on her shoulder.

Cal walked jauntily to the kitchen, Foster disentangled herself from Johnny who tried to stop her.

''It's alright. I'm going to talk to your dad. I'll be back in a minute,'' she said softly, his insecurity touching but extremely worrying.

''You're not leaving are you?'' Johnny looked on the edge of tears and Foster glanced at Ben who came over.

''Hey kid, you stay here with me. Gill will only be a few minutes,'' Ben suggested gently.

Johnny looked at his sister and the woman he loathed above all others. He scowled.

''I don't want to stay here. Can I come home with you Gill?'' Johnny knew that Foster was intending to take her leave and there was no way he was letting her go without a fight.

''I'll ask your dad,'' Foster thought that was a good idea, she couldn't stay and watch this. Fate had stepped in and Foster couldn't help feeling that her dreams were in the process of being shattered yet again.

''He won't care,'' Johnny said, his voice hard and his face set in misery.

Foster decided not to reply, aware anything she said could stoke an already smouldering fire.

''Do you want tea as well love?'' Cal was whistling when she came in and she stood uncertainly beside the counter.

''No, no thank you. I'm going home Cal, I'm exhausted and need some rest,'' she said and Cal looked up at her, concern in his face.

''Yeah you do look peaky. Probably a good idea, you won't get any rest in this madhouse,'' Cal stirred the teapot. Foster smiled, he was such a domestic creature at times, what with his teapot and apron.

''I thought I would take Johnny with me. Give you guys some time,'' Foster suggested tentatively.

''Yeah that's a good idea. Don't think Zoe could cope with the racket he makes,'' Cal agreed without a pause and Foster nodded as Cal walked past her with a laden tray.

She was glad Johnny hadn't witnessed his lack of interest, it would have only confirmed his belief that Cal didn't love him the way he did Emily.

For the first time, Foster thought that Johnny might just be right.

But when she saw what Cal did next, she felt ashamed that she had thought that even fleetingly.

Cal put the tea tray down and turned to Emily.

''Be mother Em, there's a good girl,'' he said and Emily started to do what he'd asked.

''Jono, son. Gillian needs some company. Would you mind spending the night at her house? Step in for me,'' Cal walked over and put his arm around his son who was looking morose to say the least.

''Yeah okay,'' Johnny shrugged although pleasure was shining on his face, Foster knew it was because his father was trusting him rather than Johnny being happy that he had a chance to escape.

''Thanks but be a good boy okay? Behave yourself,'' Cal kissed his head and gave him a quick one armed squeeze before returning to get his cup of tea from Emily.

''Oh I forgot. Make sure you come home good and early cos there's something we have to do in the morning. Just the two of us,'' Cal was so manipulative but as his intentions on this occasion were good, Foster forgave him.

Johnny glanced at her and he smiled, a genuine smile that lit up his eyes.

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''Gill?'' Johnny finally spoke after about ten minutes of heavy silence.

''Yes honey,'' Foster tried to keep her voice light.

''Dad risked his life to save her, Why would he do that? Doesn't he care about what happens to us?'' Johnny made it clear he had heard the story that Ben had told her. They had spoken on the driveway whilst Johnny sat in her car but Foster had been naive to think he hadn't overheard.

''Your dad has a strong sense of justice Johnny, he doesn't always think straight in those types of situations,'' Foster tried to explain the best she could.

''If he dies, what happens to me? Emily has her mum but I have no one,'' Johnny said miserably.

''That's not true,'' Foster wanted to say he had her but legally that was not true.

''Isn't it? Feels that way,'' Johnny said and Foster decided that she would talk to Cal, maybe suggest he make her Johnny's guardian in his will.

''She's never going to go away is she?'' Johnny glanced over at Foster and saw her stiffen.

''No Johnny, she isn't. I think that both you and I have to accept that,'' Foster went for honesty.

''I don't want to. I hate her, I really hate her. Dad acts like a wanker when she's around and just when I think she's gone, she turns up again, spoiling everything. It's not fair,'' Johnny sniffed.

''Language Johnny,'' Foster scolded him but instead of an apology, Johnny gave a grunt of disdain.

''You have to trust your dad Johnny. He would never do anything that isn't in your best interests,'' Foster thought that was true but Cal could be stubborn with Johnny. If he wanted to rekindle his relationship with Zoe then he would and he would adopt the stance that Johnny would have to live with his decision.

''Yeah right, whatever,'' Johnny looked out of the window and went quiet again.

Foster was just starting to think she had weathered the storm when Johnny shattered that illusion completely.

''Do you think I could see my mum?'' he asked, Foster cringed and stared steadfastly at the road ahead.

She really didn't want to answer that question, Johnny read her body language and fell quiet.

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	26. Chapter 26 Cal in a Gown

Thanks for the reviews. I am finding this story tricky at the moment which explains the wait. Soz about that. The last episode of the show was better although it has felt off recently. I know that they have changed the writers and it hasn't felt the same although I think I have adjusted now.

Personally I think the introduction of a Johnny like character might liven things up but then I would wouldn't I?

Enjoy, let me know what you think.

Laters, S X.

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Johnny was asleep on the couch beside her when the doorbell rang; she went to the door pulling her gown tight around herself.

She checked the peephole and then opened the door with a welcoming smile.

''Ben, I didn't expect you. Come in,'' Foster stepped back and the FBI agent walked in past her.

''Just wanted to check you were okay?'' Ben placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and she squeezed the top of his arm before ushering him into her cosy home.

''It's been a rough day,'' Foster explained as Ben looked down at the slumbering boy.

''You are putting yourself on the line you do know that don't you?'' Ben commented, his tone laden with unspoken messages.

''I love him Ben,'' Foster retorted immediately.

''Who are we talking about here?'' Ben met her eye and Foster reddened.

''Let's speak in the kitchen,'' Foster led the way.

''Is this just about the boy or is it a done deal with Lightman?'' Ben was forthright and Foster pulled her gown tighter.

''Ben, I'm pregnant, you do remember that fact don't you?'' Foster said awkwardly.

''I'm not talking about that and you know it,'' Ben gave her a look filled with hope and Foster sighed.

''Yes Ben, it is a done deal. It was a done deal a long time ago. The fact that I am now totally invested in the children only seals the deal further. I'm sorry,'' Foster gave Ben a regretful smile and he sighed heavily.

Foster stepped forward and grasped his arm again.

''You are a good man Ben and there is a woman out there who is right for you but you and I both know that it is not me don't we?'' Foster insisted and Ben nodded reluctantly.

''I guess but I had to try for my own piece of mind,'' Ben was stoic in his acceptance and Foster gave a slight grimace.

''Goodnight Gill,'' Ben hugged her awkwardly and was gone in a heartbeat.

Foster blew out a laboured breath and filled the kettle.

''Is that true?'' Johnny was standing at the door way, he wiped one eye with the heel of his hand and yawned. Foster gave him a serene smile as her world righted again and nodded.

''Yes honey, it's true. Me and your dad,'' she shrugged and Johnny grinned only to break into a huge yawn again.

''Bedtime Jono,'' Foster flicked her eyes upwards and Johnny shuffled over to her. He kissed her on the cheek and mumbled, '' night mum,'' and then he was gone as well.

''I'll come kiss you goodnight in a minute,'' Foster called after him as she relished his words, yes he was half asleep but it was a Freudian slip that told a thousand stories not least the fact he saw her as the maternal figure in his life now.

The phone rang and she picked it up in a daze.

''Alright luv, how are the kids?'' A familiar voice piped up and Foster laughed.

''They are fine thank you Cal,'' Foster placed a protective hand on her stomach and stroked the slight swell tenderly.

''Right well, the ladies are all watching a chick flick, the FBI are stationed outside and I'm bored,'' Cal trailed off.

''I'll see you in about fifteen minutes,'' Foster answered instantly and her only reply was the ring tone.

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Johnny was watching TV and eating cereal when Cal appeared next to him wearing Foster's gown.

''Looking good father,'' Johnny teased and Cal quirked an eyebrow, Johnny was a pretty witty kid and it pleased Cal, he was interesting, difficult and disobedient but interesting nonetheless.

''Get dressed boyzy, we're going out,'' Cal ruffled golden hair before shuffling off to the kitchen to make tea.

Johnny scooted off the couch and followed him, he was reassured to see his dad there, it gave him hope, maybe Zoe's hold on him wasn't as tight as Johnny believed?

''Teapot, she doesn't have a teapot. Tea tastes like crap unless it comes from a teapot,'' Cal looked around helplessly and Johnny ducked past him, he opened a cabinet and pulled out a brand new teapot.

''She got it just for you,'' he said placing it in front of Cal.

''Did she?'' Cal looked happy as he set about his task.

''Where we going?'' Johnny sat down on a stool.

''We are going to look at a school then we're going to spend some time together,'' Cal answered the question as he filled the pot.

''What, just the two of us?'' Johnny didn't hide his apprehension.

''Yeah, just us. Do you have a problem with that?'' Cal froze waiting for the dreaded reply.

''No that would be good,'' Johnny agreed hurriedly, he hadn't meant to imply a problem; he was just surprised that's all.

''So go on then, get dressed,'' Cal relaxed and waved his arm.

Johnny scuttled away and Cal walked up the stairs with two cups of tea, he began to whistle.

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''So what do you reckon?'' Cal asked as they walked to the car after visiting the school and Johnny shrugged.

''It was alright, what did you think?'' Johnny knew his wasn't the only opinion that mattered.

''I think it suits you down to the ground. Kinda wild but a lot of fun, bloody perfect really,'' Cal delivered his verdict and Johnny stopped.

''Is that what you think I'm like then?'' Johnny was bemused; he believed his dad thought he was a basket case and little else.

''Pretty much, so do you fancy finding out about your adopted country?'' Cal slung his arm around Johnny's shoulders.

''What do you mean?'' Johnny was now mystified, his dad always kept him on his toes. Johnny liked that about him, he was definitely never boring.

''This is a cracking city Jono, the yanks know how to build a monument. How about we look at a few? You'll be impressed,'' Cal knew that Johnny liked history, he'd caught him watching the Discovery Channel more than once.

''You won't tell Em?'' Johnny didn't agree straight away, he didn't want his rebel image wrecked.

''No, I won't tell Emily. It'll be our little secret. We'll go to the Lincoln Memorial first, that's dead impressive. We'll go to a footie game later, DC United aren't too bad, granted not Chelsea but they'll do, '' Cal added a sweetener.

''Sounds alright I s'pose. Anyone's better than Chelsea at the moment even if they are top of the league,'' Johnny agreed without hesitation.

''That's true so any chance converting you over to the claret and blue side of town now the Blues have fallen from grace?'' Cal teased and Johnny gave him a withering glare.

''I'm not a glory hunter dad, they're my team and I'll support them even when they're crap,'' Johnny exhibited the qualities that Cal admired in him.

''Good boy,'' Cal gave him playful shove and Johnny grinned happily at him.

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''I have the gender, do you want to know?'' The Obstetrician asked and Foster found herself tongue tied.

She had been so concerned with the result of her CVS test that she had never even considered this dilemma.

''So everything is normal right?'' Foster checked again, she had opted for this test without telling Cal, she was just so convinced that something would go wrong that she wanted to do everything she could to allay her anxiety.

''Yes, a normal pattern. Do you want to know?'' The obstetrician asked again and Foster found herself nodding.

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''There you go, enough crap to keep you going forever and a day'' Cal passed the food to Johnny who stuffed half a hot dog in his mouth straight off, washing it down with a gulp of soda.

''Hungry then?'' Cal ruffled his boy's silky hair as he sat down and not for the first time, he wondered how he had remained oblivious for so long that his own flesh and blood was walking the earth. Johnny nodded, his mouth too full to speak. He swallowed with difficulty and then pointed down at the pitch.

''The forward is really flash, why doesn't that big centre half put in a decent tackle? JT would be giving him hell, put him right in his place, '' Johnny sat back, happy to discuss football ( soccer) with his dad.

''Well it ain't Millwall, West Ham that's for sure. They aren't so keen on the blood and guts approach. They save that for their own football,'' Cal settled back placing his arm across the back of Johnny's seat, he took a slug of beer. It was American beer and Cal grimaced, he just couldn't get used to it, however much he tried. It had been a great day and Cal felt closer to Johnny than he ever had.

''Dad, what would you say if I said I wanted to see my mum?'' Johnny asked out of nowhere and Cal froze, unsure what to say.

''I'm not sure, do you?'' Cal asked in a choked voice. Johnny looked back at him, his face filled with shame.

''I dunno, I know she's a mess but it's just...'' Johnny wasn't sure how to word it.

''Just what boyzy?'' Cal resigned himself, this conversation was well overdue.

''What about me if something happened to you dad? Em has her mum but I don't have anyone,'' Johnny was brave and went for it. Cal paused, it was a valid question and one that Cal really should consider, not that its validity made it any easier.

''Nothing is going to happen to me Jono,'' Cal made the right noises but he knew he was being disingenuous, he took risks all the time and it was a real possibility. He felt guilty but he also knew he couldn't change his basic makeup overnight although he really should start showing better judgement.

''I know but what if it did,'' Johnny persisted.

''I don't know Johnny,'' Cal replied before he considered the implications.

''Exactly,'' Johnny replied with a hint of triumph.

''Jono son, your mum is going to be in prison for a long time, you do understand that don't you?'' Cal wished they were somewhere else, especially when several people glanced at him as they overheard his words.

''Yeah, I do know that. It's just I want Gill to be my mum dad, it feels like she is my mum most of the time. She tells me off like she is,'' Johnny was so relaxed that he revealed himself completely.

''Right,'' Cal gulped his beer, he didn't have an answer for that, he had never discussed this with Foster and now he probably should. However it was a can of worms, if Cal asked her to become Johnny's mother legally then he would have to discuss changing her status and there was only one logical way to do that.

Cal flinched at the thought, was he really ready for that level of commitment?

''So?'' Johnny stared at him, not allowing him to duck the question.

''Jono, that is complicated son,'' Cal couldn't bear the disappointment on his son's face but he couldn't, he just couldn't.

As if to prove the point, his phone rang and it was Zoe asking him what he wanted for dinner.

He was vague and rang off leaving it up to her, Johnny was glaring at him.

''I'm having dinner with Gill dad,'' he said firmly.

''That isn't up to you,'' Cal replied firmly and Johnny moved away from him, shaking off the arm from his shoulders.

''You can't make me,'' he countered. Cal sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

''Yes Johnny I can, we are going home to have dinner with Em and Zoe, that is what's happening. Now watch the footie,'' Cal asserted himself, very aware that Johnny still didn't accept his authority over him, most of the time he did but not entirely.

''Whatever,'' Johnny slumped back in the seat and Cal wasn't sure what he was reading, defiance or compliance, Johnny was an effective liar. From the day he'd met him Cal had struggled to read his own child, in that moment it relegated his expertise to next to useless.

Cal chose not to engage, happier to let sleeping dogs lie for now.

They watched the rest of the game and Johnny appeared relaxed and happy, they laughed and cheered together so Cal put his worries to one side and enjoyed this time with his son.

They were walking through out through the crowd when Johnny started his assault again but he took a different approach this time, he whined.

''I don't wanna have dinner with her, I'm not even hungry,'' he muttered as he dragged his feet.

''Come on Jono, we don't have all night,'' Cal stopped to wait for him, he'd heard what he'd said but ignored it for now.

''Why can't I stay at Gill's again dad? It's not fair, you're being really unfair,'' Johnny did catch up but he didn't drop his complaining.

''Cos I said so, that's why,'' Cal rolled his eyes as he resorted to the cliché but there was a good reason it was a cliché and utilised by parents the world over. Cal was a firm supporter of the 'do as I say not as I do' school of parenting. Cal held out his hand as they came to the busy road.

''I don't need to hold your hand, I can cross a bloody road,'' Johnny skipped away from the outstretched hand and then without looking stepped right in the path of an oncoming car.

Cal made a grab for him, Johnny froze and the car screeched to halt with only inches to spare.

''Sorry, sorry,'' Cal held his hand up to the shocked driver as he kept a firm hold of the scruff of Johnny's neck.

'' You walk and stop moaning son cos I'm going to lose my temper big time in a minute,'' Cal warned as he stalked rapidly away from the gawping audience, dragging Johnny after him.

''So that was entertaining wasn't it?'' Cal let go and confronted the foolish child once they were a safe distance from onlookers. Johnny re adjusted his jacket and he gave Cal a nervous smile.

''Sorry, s'pose I do need to hold your hand after all,'' Johnny made a concession, he gave Cal a beseeching look from beneath his bangs and Cal despite all his blustering fell for it, hook, line and sinker. Emily and Foster would have had a field day if they had witnessed such a blatant case of a child wrapping a parent around his little finger.

''You think. Johnny, please try with Zoe? She is Em's mum and she's had a shock, she needs her family at the moment,'' Cal took his opportunity.

'' Alright, sorry dad,'' Johnny felt ashamed of himself, they'd had a brilliant day and Johnny had messed it up with his tantrum. He had been about to point out Zoe wasn't strictly speaking his family but one look at Cal's face changed his mind.

''I know you are, I can tell remember? Come on,'' Cal took Johnny's hand and this time he let him.

''Idiot, have you ever heard of the Green Cross Code man?'' Cal laughed at Johnny's baffled expression.

''No,'' Johnny shook his head.

''Well, I'll tell you all about him in the car. Next time, bloody look when you're about to cross a road,'' Cal sent Johnny over to his side of the car with a smack on the behind, it was the least he deserved and Cal wasn't so taken in by the charm offensive that he was going to let Johnny away without some retribution however small.

''Ow, that hurt,'' Johnny complained as he climbed into the car.

''It was meant to. Pain in the neck, boys are a total pain in the neck,'' Cal shook his head as he too got into the car but Cal was very happy this boy was a pain in his neck and not someone else's, the thought that it might be Sophie he chose to drive to distraction made Cal's blood run cold.


	27. Chapter 27 Foster's Little Secret

Thanks for the all the reviews. Much appreciated. Sorry for the delay but it's a busy time, Christmas. Some exciting news buried here, sorry that I haven't announced it as grandly as I might have.

Let me know what you think. Johnny is still causing waves but Rome was not build in a day was it?

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''It's good love, really good,'' Cal shovelled in the Shepherd's Pie that Zoe had produced as a way of thanking him. He wasn't eating it quickly because it was nice, quite the opposite, Zoe was a notoriously bad cook but it was the thought that counted on this occasion.

Johnny was less charitable and was pushing the food around his plate with a look of disgust.

''What is it supposed to be again?'' he asked with a sideways glance at Cal who gave him a warning stare.

''Shepherd's Pie Jono, mom told you that already,'' Emily was defensive of her mother and Johnny raised his eyebrows mockingly before pushing his plate away.

''Can I leave the table please?'' he asked, very aware that Zoe was wearing a hurt expression, it was his intention, he was happy she was upset. If he upset her enough then maybe she would go home to her own house and leave them alone.

''No,'' Cal pushed the plate back and placed a fork in Johnny's hand, his message clear. He knew what Johnny was doing and he wasn't about to condone such behaviour.

''Thanks mom, it was real nice of you to make dinner wasn't it Johnny?'' Emily prompted her precocious little brother who pulled a pained face before nodding.

''Yeah right, nice,'' Johnny damned the gesture with empty praise. He ignored the sharp look aimed at him by his father.

''Just like my mums,'' Cal sat back, his plate empty and gave Zoe a satisfied smile, she smiled hesitantly back at him.

''I followed the recipe but it's very bland isn't it?'' Zoe knew it wasn't nice despite Cal's assurances.

''My mum makes the best Shepherd's Pie! You're supposed to use herbs and stuff, you do know that right?'' Johnny's tone was condescending and Cal was less than happy when Zoe looked on the edge of tears, she was still very fragile and he had never seen her so vulnerable.

''Shut up Johnny, you're an ungrateful little brat,'' Emily lost her temper and vented at him.

''Didn't ask her to make me dinner, didn't ask her for nuffink,'' Johnny dropped the pretence and was just as confrontational back.

''Ladies, why don't you go and choose a DVD while us men clean up?'' Cal remained calm and in control. Johnny looked at him in horror and Cal smirked back at him, served him right, he was being a right, little sod but Cal wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of a scene.

''Dad, he's being really rude,'' Emily wasn't happy that Johnny appeared to be allowed to treat her mother this way. Zoe's close call had provoked powerful emotions in Emily who was emotionally bruised and battered.

''Yeah I know love, I heard him,'' Cal stood up and took his plate to the sink. Johnny took the opportunity to poke his tongue out at his sister who was at a loss at her father's inaction.

''Come on hun, leave them to it,'' Zoe was happy to escape the brooding boy who was souring her family reunion.

Johnny watched them leave and then stared down at his now cold dinner. Cal had already removed the other plates and Johnny wasn't impressed that his was still in front of him.

He stood up, his intention was to dump his food in the waste disposal but then he realised that Cal was staring at him, hands on hips and a determined glint in his eyes.

''What? It tastes like crap and you know it,'' Johnny said weakly but his dad said nothing.

''I'm not eating it,'' Johnny insisted and still Cal said nothing. Johnny sighed heavily and then sat down again.

''Fine but don't blame me if it makes me sick for days,'' Johnny began to eat.

''I'm sure you'll live,'' Cal muttered as he loaded the dishwasher, a smug expression decorating his face.

Just as he was finishing up, Johnny appeared next to him, holding an empty plate and Cal took it with a wry smile.

''That didn't hurt did it?'' he said and Johnny shrugged.

''S'pose,'' he replied sulkily and Cal knew he had to offer some reward even though Johnny didn't really deserve it.

''You can play on your X Box for an hour,'' he said casually and Johnny's face split with a huge smile.

''Thanks dad,'' Johnny surprised himself and his father by giving Cal a brief hug before dashing up the stairs.

''You're welcome,'' Cal wouldn't let himself believe they had turned a corner but it did feel that way although Cal still had to address Johnny's rudeness but that could wait for now. Cal knew it was best for parents to choose their battles carefully and Cal had just come out top in a minor skirmish but there was still a war to be won.

''Did I really see that?'' Zoe came into the kitchen and Cal gave her a reassuring smile.

''You alright love?'' Cal watched her face with concern and Zoe nodded although her eyes still looked nervous and jumpy.

''So you've finally got some control over him then?'' Zoe persisted with her enquiry despite Cal changing the subject; he wasn't comfortable discussing Johnny with her. Sometimes with Foster, it felt like that was all they spoke about but with Zoe, it was different, it made Cal feel disloyal.

''Yeah, I suppose you could say that. We're getting on better and he seems to be listening to me more,'' Cal didn't want to count his chickens just yet.

''And how did you achieve that?'' Zoe asked as she made coffee, Cal hesitated, again not comfortable.

'' Didn't give up, he's basically a good boy,'' Cal shrugged as he picked up the tray although the truth was he had been proactive, very proactive but Zoe didn't need to know that.

''Mmmm is he?'' she sounded sceptical and Cal bit back a sharp retort.

''Well, I hope for Emily's sake, it lasts. She doesn't need any more stress,'' Zoe rained on his parade and Cal sighed. She realised her mistake and cut her losses.

''Em's waiting, she wants to watch Toy Story 3,'' Zoe diffused the awkwardness and Cal was reminded that she was a lawyer, used to verbal battles.

''Good choice,'' he was relieved that it wasn't a chick flick; Buzz doing the Flamenco would definitely cheer him up.

''I'm going to get Johnny, he loves Toy Story,'' Cal could have sworn he saw disappointment on Zoe's face but he decided to tell himself it was his imagination.

''Thanks dad,'' Emily said quietly to Cal who looked at her in surprise.

''What for sweetheart?'' Cal whispered, Johnny was asleep beside him, his head leaning against Cal's shoulder, and he didn't want to wake him up.

''For having mom here. I know it's not your idea of a good time and I appreciate it,'' Emily took the opportunity to speak to Cal whilst Zoe was in the bathroom.

''She needs us Em,'' Cal shrugged; his daughter looked more relaxed than he had seen her for a while. They still had the funeral to face although that could be a while as there was an investigation still underway.

''Yeah right,'' Emily laughed and rolled her eyes, she could see straight through him, she always could. She was aware he was doing it for her not her mother but somehow that made it even more touching.

Cal knew that he needed to tell Emily about the baby and he almost blurted it out but then Zoe broke the moment.

''I'm back,'' Zoe clicked the movie on again and the moment was lost.

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''Why are you only looking at girl's stuff? It could be a boy you know,'' Johnny interrupted Foster's browsing and she blushed.

She should have been more careful, she was taking care of Johnny whilst Cal accompanied Emily to her interview with the FBI. They were shopping for school clothes and Foster had taken the opportunity to check out a baby shop much to Johnny's delight!

''I'm not,'' Foster knew than if she told him then he would have to keep a secret from Cal who was still blissfully unaware of her test plus Emily didn't even know she was pregnant. Finding out that she wasn't going to be the only little girl in Cal's life was not necessarily the most wonderful news to her. Foster was concerned how Emily would react and now she was faced with this dilemma.

''I'm not, it just seems that way,'' Foster was flippant but she could see that Johnny knew she was covering.

''Alright, whatever,'' Johnny shrugged although he was disappointed because he knew this meant his new sibling was a girl and he had really wanted a brother. He had always wanted a brother; he had a sister already, why did he need another one?

''I have to get a new backpack, mine's wrecked,'' Johnny said grumpily and Foster smiled nervously, she saw the dismay in his eyes, she saw him disconnecting and then she knew that neither of Cal's existing children would be thrilled with her news.

''Come on, we'll buy a bag and then maybe we can get some ice cream?'' Foster knew what she was doing but she couldn't stop herself from attempting to buy back his affection.

''Nah, I'd rather go home,'' Johnny didn't fall for it and Foster knew then that for now, she had to keep this to herself, it had to remain her little secret.

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''I don't want it,'' Johnny threw his fork down and shoved the plate away.

Cal looked over at Foster who tried to keep her face neutral. Johnny had been a nightmare from the moment she had been so indiscreet and it didn't bode well for the future, not well at all. Luckily, Emily was with her mother and some friends at the movies so was not witness to Johnny's tantrum. That could have led to difficult questions, questions Foster did not want to answer.

''Don't care whether you want it, you will eat it. I asked you and you chose this so you will bloody eat it,'' Cal couldn't understand why it was such a problem but he was determined not to let Johnny run his home. It was Mac and Cheese, Johnny's favourite so there was no excuse apart from bloody mindedness and Cal wasn't about to succumb.

''No, I bloody won't. It tastes like crap, you're always making me eat crap,'' Johnny was at his most belligerent and Cal was baffled.

''What's wrong son? Are you worried about starting school tomorrow?'' Cal went for understanding and Johnny snorted derisorily.

''No, I'm not a wimp. I wanted to go to a new school remember?'' Johnny didn't back down and Cal had a revelation, he was keeping a secret and then on cue, Johnny glanced at Foster who didn't respond. Cal knew then that it wasn't just Johnny's secret.

''Eat your dinner boyzy,'' Cal said quietly as he contemplated what could cause such an extreme reaction.

Johnny flicked his hand in temper and inadvertently sent his glass of orange juice crashing across the table. Cal jumped up just in time to avoid a puddle in his lap.

''You are going to clear this mess up,'' Cal yelled as he grabbed a cloth from the counter.

''No, I am not, you bloody do it,'' Johnny stamped his foot, and Cal knew he had to react, he chose this battle.

Foster was busy mopping up the mess, avoiding looking Cal in the eye which wasn't reassuring.

''Right so in that case, you can go straight to bed,'' Cal took Johnny's arm, smacked him several times on the butt and then let go. He was very aware he was giving into his temper but it had been a difficult day and he was tired, too tired for histrionics.

Johnny glared at him with watery eyes then tore upstairs; the sound of a slamming bedroom door shook the house.

''You shouldn't have done that,'' Foster said as she rinsed a cloth in the sink.

''Yes Gill, I know that, thanks,'' Cal sat down on a chair and rubbed his face with his hands; he had over reacted and didn't feel particularly proud of himself.

Foster didn't respond, she finished up the cleaning and sat down stiffly in her chair.

Cal looked steadily at her, '' so are you going to tell me what the hell that was all about?'' he asked gruffly.


	28. Chapter 28 The Turmoil

Thanks for the reviews, some of them made me laugh. Yes, Johnny is a nightmare but what do you expect? Sorry for the delay but RL and all that.

Not sure many people are reading this and I think my favourite show is about to be cancelled which will be upsetting to say the least. I am not even sure this is worth finishing but will try to keep going.

Personally, I think Bones has lost it's way but Fox doesn't seem to care. Funnily enough, in earlier seasons, Bones suffered from many of the problems LTM has, Fox just don't seem to know how to handle shows. They throw them away, it's annoying and sad.

Anway, I hope Bones gets back on track because I won't cope without either of them. House is sooooooo predictable, watched the first few seasons but just don't bother now but it remains untouchable. How come the ratings are so high? Don't get it!

Suggestons here, what will be will be as the bard said.

Onwards and upwards,

Laters S X

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Foster sighed and subconsciously her hands went to her stomach, protecting the miracle that lay within.

''He's upset, I think he was hoping for a brother,'' Foster waited as the implication of her words sank in.

''A girl! We're having a girl! Oh love, that's the best news, just the best,'' Cal rose to embrace her but then she stiffened, raising her hands to metaphorically warn him off.

''What?'' Cal was mystified; he thought this was what she had always wanted.

''Maybe a boy would have been better? Johnny would be happier and perhaps Emily wouldn't be so jealous?'' Foster concerned herself with the here and now, the children they had at that moment in time.

Cal watched her wrestle with her doubts and he smiled indulgently, if he had ever had any worries that Foster might consider his existing children second best then they were being well and truly laid to rest.

''Love, jealousy just comes with the territory; they are going to have their noses put out of joint. There is nothing we can do about it, yes, we can minimise it but in the end it is inevitable but they'll get over it,'' Cal tried to rationalise her worries and inexplicably Foster's eyes filled with tears.

''We should be celebrating, not crying,'' Cal put his arms around her and gave her a squeeze. She was wound so tight, but he held on waiting for her to relax which eventually she did.

''Cry baby,'' Cal teased her as she sniffed and wiped her eyes with the tissue that miraculously appeared in her hand.

''Sorry, it is a good news isn't it?'' Foster gave him a genuinely warm smile and Cal responded in kind.

''Yeah, it is,'' Cal placed a gentle kiss on her lips and stepped back.

''How do you know? It's too early for a scan to tell isn't it?'' Cal felt a worm of disquiet begin to fester and it didn't help when guilt flashed across Foster's face.

''I had a test just to check everything was okay,'' Foster admitted and Cal frowned.

''It is isn't it?'' Now he was worried but when her eyes softened he knew all was well.

''You didn't tell me, you did that alone,'' Cal couldn't help the twinge of hurt and he let her know.

''I did it for me Cal. I was so worried and anyway you've been busy haven't you?'' There was an accusation in there and Cal knew she had a point, he had been neglectful of her. They were still building bridges and he had done little to help with that process.

''I know but still,'' Cal couldn't quite bring himself to admit his culpability, his pride getting in the way once again.

''Cal, I had to know and I was happy to do it alone,'' Foster rankled and Cal stepped back, a gulf opening between them.

''How much do you want to do alone then? Am I invited to the birth?'' Cal was petulant and Foster laughed bitterly.

''This is not about you Cal. This is about this little girl who deserves parents who behave like adults,'' Foster told him off and he scowled, reminding her way too much of the sulky little boy upstairs.

''You just spanked Johnny for an attitude like that,'' she pointed out and Cal narrowed his eyes at her before breaking into a grin.

'' Yeah you're right, I did. Sorry,'' Cal astounded her by apologising.

''What for? Spanking Johnny or being a baby,'' for a brief moment Foster felt comfortable enough to tease him and he had the grace to look shamefaced.

''Me, boyzy had it coming,'' Cal's mind turned over, she didn't trust him enough to ask for his support with something so important and it cut him like a knife. He had let her down again, he always let her down.

''No, he didn't Cal. He's only a little boy and he has had too much to deal with. Far too much,'' Foster pulled on her maternal hat and scolded Cal; plainly she believed Johnny wasn't the only naughty little boy in the house.

''You're making excuses, you always make excuses for him,'' Cal was unexpectantly confrontational and Foster felt isolated once again.

''I can't do this Cal. We have to find some middle ground somehow, I don't want to continue with this tit for tat relationship, I need something more solid than that,'' Foster was more honest than she meant to be, it just came out.

''How solid?'' Cal asked and Foster froze, his expression unsettling her.

''I just want us to be able to have a conversation that doesn't involve strategic moves as if we're playing a game of chess. This is not a game to me,'' Foster had started on this path and there was no going back now.

''It isn't for me either love. Far from a game,'' Cal knew he was on the brink of a decision that had until now terrified him but now it felt right, the only real way forward.

''Why does it feel like it is then? I'm not a client to be outmanoeuvred, I am the mother of your unborn child,'' Foster laid herself bare and it was cathartic, she needed to say this.

''I know that. I do, it's just...'' Cal trailed off, the words wouldn't come.

''Just what Cal?'' Foster had no idea what she wanted him to say or do but she needed something, some reassurance that they could move on.

''Gillian, will you marry me?'' Cal just said it then, in the back of his head he questioned his timing and he knew he could be accused of a grandee gesture made to get himself out of a tricky situation but that was not his reasoning. For Cal, he meant it, he meant it the first time and he meant it this time. Marriage was forever as far as he was concerned and he knew that this woman was his forever.

Gillian looked at him in shock and she fumbled around looking for her purse. That was not what she had been expecting and she couldn't comprehend what he had just asked.

''I have to go. I'm sorry, it's...'' Foster waved her hand as Cal stepped towards her.

''Gill love,'' Cal was beseeching; this wasn't the response he had been expecting.

''No Cal, I'm sorry. Too much, just too much,'' Foster found her purse and made for the door, she needed air and space, lots of space.

''I'll call you,'' she left without a backward glance and Cal was left to ponder on the fact he had just made a terrible mistake that might cost him dear.

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''Alright boyzy?'' Cal wandered into his son's blue bedroom, looking a little lost.

''Dad,'' Johnny nodded, he was wary but could see that Cal was floundering so took pity on him. Something had happened between his dad and Foster but Johnny knew better than to ask, not that he needed to.

Cal sat on the edge of the bed next to Johnny who was playing X Box.

Johnny held up the other controller.

''You can be Germany if you like?'' Johnny grinned and Cal roused a little.

''Gonna win then aren't I?'' Cal accepted the challenge along with the controller and stared at the screen.

''Sorry dad,'' Johnny said awkwardly and Cal nodded.

''Yeah, me too but don't think that means I'll go easy on you when it come to this,'' Cal said with relish and Johnny laughed.

''It's footie dad,'' Johnny shrugged, here he felt safe, football and sport he understood.

''Best game in the world son, best game in the world,'' Cal said as he grimaced.

''I just scored, did you notice?'' Johnny jeered and Cal dropped the controller, he pulled Johnny under his arm and began to tickle.

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Cal was nursing a large scotch and hurt pride when Zoe and Emily found him.

''Okay dad?'' Emily recognised the stance; this was sad Cal, the one who wasn't in control. She didn't see this manifestation often and it always rocked her world when she did.

''Surviving love, surviving,'' Cal didn't elaborate and Emily looked to her mother for guidance.

''Why don't you take that bath hun?'' Zoe suggested softly and Emily looked conflicted, her dad was upset, that was obvious and she didn't want to run out on him.

''I've got this Emily,'' Zoe said more firmly and Emily knew there was little point arguing about it.

She left against her better judgement and Zoe sat down. Cal looked up, his eyes fatigued and troubled.

''You want one?'' he held up the bottle and Zoe shook her head.

''I can't,'' she said and Cal frowned.

''Why?'' He was alerted to an expression on his ex wife's face that was troubling, another secret was about to be revealed, he wasn't sure he wanted to be the confidante.

''I have something I need to tell you,'' Zoe didn't allay his fears and he took a slug of whiskey, flinching as it hit the back of his throat.

''Go on then, make my day,'' Cal faced the moment and subconsciously he braced himself, he just knew he wasn't going to like what she was about to say.

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''Em?'' Johnny stood at her doorway and Emily threw her purse down.

''What's wrong with dad? Did you have another fight?'' Emily was short on accounts of the fact that she was tired of the turmoil.

''No... well yeah... but it's not that,'' Johnny answered, his face reddening as he did.

''Oh for god's sake, why can't you give him a break? He's put up with enough of your shit,'' Emily snapped and Johnny's colour deepened.

''Yeah I know but I gotta tell you summink,'' Johnny lapsed into his heavy English accent where he felt comfortable.

''I am not talking to him for you. Deal with it yourself, I think he's been beyond understanding so don't expect me to have your back. You deserve whatever he does or says, he should ground you for six months if you ask me. You are a total pain in the ass and sometimes I bet he wishes you'd never appeared in our lives,'' Emily was not feeling very empathetic and was cruel in the process.

''Yeah I get that, but that's not what I want to talk to you about,'' Johnny loitered not put off by his sister's vitriol. Her words hurt but deep down Johnny agreed with her so chose not to disagree.

''What Johnny? What do you want?'' Emily gave into the inevitable and looked irritably at her troublesome little brother.

''Dad asked Gill to marry him and I think she said no. We need to change her mind,'' Johnny blurted out and Emily stared at him, speechless for the moment.

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''So that's that then love. We'll tell Em tomorrow and then we start the rest of our lives, whatever that means,'' Cal said and Zoe nodded.

''Yes, the rest of our lives,'' she agreed and Cal smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way although underneath he was struggling with the magnitude of what she had revealed.

''It'll be okay love, I promise okay?'' Cal kissed her on the cheek and for once Zoe could see he was being genuine.


	29. Chapter 29 Kismet

What an absolutely brilliant lot you are, your reviews were a great motivation, hence why I am posting again so soon.

Have watched the two new episodes, they were really, really good. LTM is back with a vengeance. this was the Cal Lightman I love, the one who is funny and quirky but caring, not some off the wall eccentric with violent tendencies who is really quite scary. We had Loker too and Cal was more normal with him as well, just loved it.

Much, much better, just hope it's not too late!

Really blown away by the fact his mum was Northern Irish ( it was a northern accent not south) How do I know? Cos I have one of those too ( the mother not the accent, my accent's pure London because I am a Londoner, born and raised as such) explains an awful lot and that's all I have to say on the matter. His background mirrors mine to the point that I think he may be my secret brother!

Oh and loved The Jam too, suspect that Tim Roth has some say on the music, brilliant!

Read on, slightly different take. Hope you enjoy it!

Laters S X

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''Blimey, didn't expect to find both of you up,'' Cal walked into the kitchen and saw the look that passed between his children instantly, interesting.

''When can I start school?'' Johnny asked quickly, too quickly. Cal raised his eyebrows as he put the kettle on and leaned back against the countertop.

''That was good, liked that,'' Cal pointed before turning back to his task.

Emily frowned at Johnny who pulled a goofy face at her; it was the best he could come up with at short notice.

''So you are desperate to start school is that right? That's what you said innit?'' Cal brought the pot to the table and Johnny couldn't stop an amused smile of his own. It was about the most transparent effort at deflection ever attempted and he was embarrassed.

''Uuuum yeah, absolutely,'' Johnny ate some cereal and looked expectantly at Emily.

''He just tagged you in,'' Cal sat down and Emily feigned a look of bemusement causing Cal to hold his hands up. ''Just saying in case you didn't notice,'' he added as he poured his tea.

''Dad, cut it out. He was only asking, he's bored,'' Emily cringed as she said it. Cal, for his part, choked on his tea.

''Right, he's bored? So psycho assassins and kidnappings not interesting enough for him? Is that right boyzy? You bored?'' Cal dipped his head to catch Johnny's downturned eyes. He shrugged and widened his eyes innocently. Cal grinned inanely and slurped back his beverage; he stretched out in his chair. This was entertaining and he was enjoying making his kids squirm, he really did have a sadistic streak.

''So what's really going on here,'' Cal gestured between them and all he got in reply was silence.

''Have you got plans for the weekend?'' Emily asked out of the blue and Cal shook his head in despair.

''I'm actually quite disappointed that neither of you are more devious,'' Cal lied, he didn't really want devious children. Unfortunately, they could be quite talented at that particular skill as they proved all too often. Johnny looked up.

''You don't always know when I'm lying. Actually you hardly ever do. In fact dad, are you sure you're even properly qualified?'' Johnny asked with a smirk and Cal laughed. He rose, tapping the back of Johnny's head affectionately.

''Yes son, I'm sure. Toast anyone?'' Cal held up some bread.

''So dad, weekend? Plans?'' Emily prompted and Cal looked uncomfortable, he did have plans, they mostly involved telling Emily several pieces of life changing news.

''Thought we could go out for the day,'' Cal tried to be casual. ''Just you and me, Em. Loker said he'd take Johnny, they can do geeky history stuff together,'' Cal continued to mask his anxiety.

''I'm not a geek! Why do you think I'm a geek?'' Johnny threw Cal an aggrieved glare, that was supposed to be their secret.

''Oh relax, like I don't know how clever you are. Everyone knows, they just play along cos you're so uptight about it,'' Emily tried to put Johnny at ease but he went red nonetheless.

''Whatever, it's okay. I don't mind although I'd rather spend the day with Gill, can I?'' Johnny shone hopeful eyes towards Cal who shook his head.

''No boyzy, not this time. Gill needs some space,'' Cal's tone was firm and Johnny's face fell. Cal turned away, guilt kicking him in the solar plexus.

Emily squeezed Johnny's hand and winked at him, he smiled back at her. They had time, all they needed now was a proper plan.

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Cal strolled into his office, all was well for once. Emily was at school and Johnny was with Loker but he was still troubled. He was yet to hear anything about the investigation into Bailey's death and he was worried that Emily might be dragged into the whole sorry mess, more than she was already.

Foster was standing with a tight, drawn face behind his desk; she looked guiltily at him as she placed the phone back on the receiver.

''Love, we still have to work together, we can do that can't we?'' Cal misinterpreted her expression, well he got the hurt and worry right but it was the reason he was off about.

''Oh Cal,'' Foster's body language and face gave him signals he didn't like at all.

''Gillian?'' He frowned, what now?

''They released Sophie, she is not going to be prosecuted. There was a technical fault with several of the search warrants and the judge ruled so much of the evidence inadmissible that the DA dropped the case or at least the government told him to,'' Foster knew exactly how devastating her words were and Cal froze as his brain tried to assimilate what she'd said.

''You should call Zoe, you are going to need her help,'' Foster advised although it was the last thing she wanted to suggest but she adopted an adult approach. This required the best and begrudgingly Foster knew Zoe was the best, even if she didn't specialise in family law.

''Yeah, that's a good idea,'' Cal replied but then he remembered, Zoe was probably already sedated, about to undergo a Laparoscopy so she wasn't available.

''What?'' Foster saw him hesitate and he shrugged.

''She's busy love, not really a good time,'' Cal didn't elaborate and his face told Foster that she probably shouldn't ask.

''Right but you still have a problem don't you? She will want to see him Cal, you know she will,'' Foster poked him metaphorically with a stick, inaction was not what was needed now, Cal had to act and he had to act quickly.

''You haven't forgotten that she's a bit of a nutter have you?'' Cal made an ill timed joke and Foster gave a sigh, the sigh that always made it clear when she wasn't happy with him.

''Dad, can we go get some ice cream? Loker's buying,'' Johnny burst into the room and Cal glanced nervously at Foster.

''Not right now son, its abit early for ice cream innit?'' Cal kept his tone light and Johnny collapsed dramatically on the couch, he'd known what the answer would be before he'd even asked.

''I'm bored dad, we won't be long. Please, go on, I know you want to say yes. I'll make loads of noise if you don't let me, drive yer mad. You won't get any work done,'' Johnny threatened and Cal found himself looking to Foster for guidance.

''You could do with some air but no ice cream, not at this time. Tell Loker we said yes to the park okay?'' Foster took charge and used the royal 'we' without noticing, Cal noticed because he noticed everything.

''Arcade?'' Johnny was already halfway out the door but he pulled up short as he issued another demand. Foster laughed softly but Cal saw the anguish in her eyes, she was as distraught as him.

''No arcade now scarper before we change our minds and I make you sort out my books,'' Cal knew the spectre of a mindless chore was always effective with Johnny and his reaction didn't disappoint. He couldn't leave fast enough!

''Thanks, laters,'' Johnny tore from the room without a backward glance leaving behind two brooding adults.

''Call Sandy Cohen Cal, he's good. We've worked for him a few times, he owes us,'' Foster said, her voice breaking slightly.

Cal nodded, she was right, he didn't have time to procrastinate. Their issues would have to wait; they had a far more pressing problem to deal with.

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Johnny was almost at the top of the tree, it was high and he perched himself precariously on a broad branch to take in the bird's eye view of the park and surrounding area.

He laughed as he saw Loker talking to some random girl, she was pretty and Johnny hoped Loker got lucky. He liked Loker and thought he could use a break.

Johnny dug out a pack of fluff covered, very sticky fluorescent candy from his pocket and stuffed a handful in, chewing furiously as he watched the activity beneath him. He sighed as a gentle breeze made the tree sway, his stomach lurching. He was content, it was a hot day, he had sweets and for once nobody was mad at him. Now the only cloud on his horizon was how to persuade Foster to say yes to his dad and he would finally have the family he'd always wanted. Well, a brother would be better but he could live with a baby sister if he had to. She might turn out to be alright.

He squinted as he noticed a woman standing some distance away looking up at him; Johnny was surprised she had spotted him. He frowned as his memory prickled, her gait was familiar and he tried to think why he might know her.

Then she flicked her hair, just one small gesture and Johnny almost fell from his vantage point as recognition struck him like a fist in the chest.

It was his mother, his raving, treacherous, jailbird mother who was supposed to be locked up but was standing a hundred yards away, staring directly at him.

Johnny closed his eyes in a vain attempt to control the wave of nausea that swept over him.

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''He's coming over, he has some work for us anyway,'' Cal told her, he felt weariness settling in his bones, he wasn't sure he could take much more of this.

He closed his eyes and was aware that Foster didn't leave him; he sensed her calming presence lingering in the atmosphere.

''Doctor Lightman?'' A familiar voice echoed around the room and Cal looked over at the door in surprise.

''Marie. Come in, please come in,'' Cal was polite but his curiosity was evident.

''Gillian,'' Marie nodded as she wheeled herself in, the lines of grief drawn starkly on her face. Cal was struck by the tenacity of the human condition especially when Marie managed to smile. He was filled with awe, he remembered the aching, raw wound that facing losing a child created and he was amazed that she could be so calm.

''It's a front, I have learnt over many years to present an acceptable face to the world whilst inside I rage with injustice and anger. Comes with the territory of this thing,'' Marie tapped the wheel chair.

Cal nodded, he didn't think a reply was warranted, she had summed it up pretty proficiently. Cal frowned, had he said that out loud? He knew he hadn't and realised that Marie was as insightful as he was.

''The investigation is complete, that man killed my boy and broke my heart. The details are here if you have the stomach to read them,'' Marie dumped a file on the desk but nobody touched it.

''I'm sorry Marie and so is Emily,'' Cal managed to say and Marie smiled again.

''This is not your fault Doctor Lightman and it is definitely not Emily's. It was just a perfect storm, an unfortunate combination of events and people that resulted in catastrophe, Bailey got caught up in the fallout. It was the same kismet that put me in this chair, a combination of DNA and environment that means I'm sick whilst others aren't. Do you believe in fate Cal?'' Marie used his Christian name and he blushed, he felt unworthy of such familiarity from this daunting woman. There weren't many people in the world who made Cal feel inadequate but Marie was a fully paid up member of that select group.

''Dunno, maybe. I have never really considered it,'' Cal was not comfortable with the notion that he was not in control of his life, that it was preordained.

''Typical man,'' Marie looked at Foster who raised an eyebrow in caustic agreement.

''Cal you can't fix everything, sometimes it's not possible. You would do well to remember that,'' Marie advised and Cal chuckled, she could read him like a book.

''I came to say goodbye and deliver the report. I didn't want Emily to hear it from anyone but you. I know that you will spare her any more necessary pain. I found this amongst Bailey's things, it's for Emily. A Valentine's card, I haven't opened it,'' Marie placed a large red envelope next to the report.

''I am taking Bailey home, home to the beach where I grew up. I am sorry that there won't be a service here in DC but I need to leave. Memories, ghosts everywhere, it's too much, I am not strong enough. Please explain to Emily,'' Marie spoke softly but sincerely.

''I'll make sure she understands, you can trust me,'' Cal understood her actions, he just hoped Emily would.

''Thank you. Would you show me out Gillian?'' Marie turned her chair around and issued the unexpected request.

''Yes, of course,'' Foster was taken aback but didn't query why she chose her.

''Oh,'' Marie turned back to Cal suddenly,'' he really did love her you know.''

''I know and she loved him as well, still does,'' Cal reciprocated but not through decorum but because it was true. Cal sank back into his chair with a heavy sigh, he knew that Emily would love Bailey for the rest of her life. Yes, she would move on, experience new relationships until one day she would settle down with her special someone. However, deep down in a secret place, she would store the memory of a beautiful, vibrant young man who would belong to her forever.

Marie fixed Foster with a speculative eye as they waited for the elevator, Foster smiled nervously back, she was apprehensive; sure that Marie had an ulterior motive for getting her alone. She just hoped it wasn't more bad news.

''Gillian, life doesn't keep offering up happiness for an indefinite period, there comes a time when you have missed your opportunity. It's worth remembering that and giving into what your heart desires. Take a chance and stop listening to that doubtful voice, it's only fear. Fear never made anyone happy and neither did being alone,'' Marie told Foster who froze at the perception of her words.

''You look after that little baby. She will be just as feisty as her daddy and you will love her just as fiercely as you do him,'' Marie patted Foster's stomach as the elevator door opened.

Foster was speechless as Marie turned back to her from within the elevator.

''Oh and don't worry about Johnny, he will make a great big brother to her and the little boy that will follow her. Just remember that fate can turn on a penny when the wrong choice is made,'' Marie added to Foster's incredulity and then the door closed, leaving Foster staring incomprehensively at it.


	30. Chapter 30 I Want To Go Home

Thank you for the reviews. There is a mention of my Jake stories in here as there is a similarity and I thought it would be fun plus it tells those who read them what he's up to now!

I had to deal with Sophie but what the outcome will be is up to you guys to a certain extent, I have an idea how to resolve it but I know that reviewers can have some good ideas so am opening it up for consultation as they say.

Let me know what you think!

Laters S X

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Johnny stopped a few yard in front of her, suddenly nervous. She smiled at him and he saw the feverishness immediately.

''Are you taking your tablets?'' He asked bluntly and Sophie's face filled with hurt. She had imagined this moment many times these last few months and it had kept her going, the chance of a joyful reunion with the child that had been stolen from her. When viewed with a dispassionate eye, the word joyful was the last adjective that sprang to mind to describe this encounter.

''I missed you love. Are you okay?'' She asked, intent on keeping the fantasy alive.

''Yeah right. Missed me? That's bollocks that is and we both know it,'' Johnny had a handle on her motivation.

''He took you from me, you do understand that don't you?'' Sophie wasn't subtle as she began the mission to win her son back. Unfortunately for her, her mind was already beginning to race, the calming effects of her last dose of medication disappearing rapidly.

''Mum, if he hadn't taken me in, I would have ended up in some crap foster home. You abandoned me,'' Johnny's voice cracked at the last moment and he cringed, he didn't want her to think he still cared, he didn't care, he didn't!

''Sweetheart, that's not what happened. Your father did this not me. He told lies about me, made them believe that I was a bad person. I'm not Johnny, I'm not a bad person,'' Sophie's voice rose several octaves and Johnny recognised that his mother was on the edge of a meltdown. He had been here many times before, he had to manage this, stop her from flipping out. It was his role in her life; he reverted back to carer in a blink of an eye.

''I know that mum. Why don't we go and get some tea?'' Johnny glanced behind him; Loker was still locked in a conversation with the pretty girl. It appeared he had got lucky at long last, his timing sucked and Johnny knew he would get it in the neck from Cal but Johnny couldn't consider that now. He had to get his mother settled, stop her having one of her episodes, it was what he had been trained to do and he clicked onto auto pilot.

Johnny took her arm gently and she smiled at him, a trusting smile that contradicted the wild look in her eyes.

''I don't think he is actually your father, I've been thinking about this and I think maybe it might be another man. A nice man I met in the pub,'' Sophie added insult to injury and Johnny flinched visibly but she was too far gone to notice.

''He was lovely, really lovely, not like Cal at all,'' Sophie disappeared into an alternative universe and began to ramble incoherently. Johnny was happy to let her; anything that avoided the here and now suited him just fine.

''Was he mum? Tell me about him,'' Johnny encouraged her and she smiled. Happy at last now she had a captive audience.

XyXyXyXyXy

''This is pretty straight forward especially as you are a citizen, the mother's mental health status helps but deportation is already underway,'' Sandy closed the file and regarded Cal who glanced over at Foster. Her face showed her surprise, Cal was so English, she had no idea he had became a US citizen years ago.

''It was for Em,'' Cal explained without her having to ask.

''Right, okay,'' Foster couldn't stop the thought it was also for Zoe but she dismissed her paranoia.

''If she's being deported then how come no one knows where she is?'' Cal asked the obvious question and Sandy shrugged.

''The paperwork is still being processed and it would be unlawful to detain her,'' He explained as he stood up.

''Right so this restraining order, how long will it take?'' Cal needed something solid. He was considering taking his children away, away where nobody could hurt them even if it was only for a couple of weeks. Johnny had been due to start school the following morning but that could be delayed quite easily.

''Cal, what are you planning?'' Foster saw the intent and she wanted to make sure Cal wasn't about to compromise their solid position.

''A holiday that's all, a change of scenery,'' Cal was honest and Sandy shook his head.

''No, you can't do that. You need to ensure that you have a normal and stable home life so you have to get Johnny back in school as soon as possible,'' Sandy put a stop to that idea in a heartbeat.

Cal glowered but said nothing, never comfortable when someone exerted their will over him.

''I had a very similar case to this before, almost identical and the father's stability won out in the end,'' Sandy was trying to be reassuring but Cal picked up on the implication immediately.

''In the end?'' he asked fixing the lawyer's face with a watchful gaze.

''Well it wasn't all plain sailing but we got there in the end. The boy's in college now, doing really well so I've heard,'' Sandy covered his slip with platitudes.

''Which surprises you. Why?'' Cal never missed anything. Sandy glanced at Foster who stepped in.

''Cal, Sandy told you that we have a good case so just be happy with that,'' Foster didn't want Cal alienating the lawyer on their first meeting.

''Alright, fair enough but I want this sorted pronto,'' Cal issued an order and Sandy looked uncertain of himself.

''Nothing is ever cast in iron when it comes to family law. You have to understand that judges always favour mothers. It's unfair but the way it is,'' Sandy tried to pull back and Cal looked less than happy.

''Cal,'' Foster warned him in her own special way and Cal caught her eye, there was a moment when she thought he would resist but then he nodded, common sense winning the day.

''You could consider what this other father wouldn't and ask your son to choose,'' Sandy said nervously.

''You think that's a good idea, why?'' Cal picked it up straight away and Sandy face coloured.

''Because although it appeared to be in the best interests of the boy at the time, in the long run it would have saved a lot of anguish if they had gone that route,'' Sandy was very honest for a lawyer.

''I'll need to think about it,'' Cal didn't want to admit he wasn't sure that Johnny would choose him, that was best left unsaid for now. Cal knew that Johnny felt responsible for Sophie, he understood that burden and was well aware it was a dependency that might prove a defining factor to his son who suffered from a severe case of white knight syndrome.

He glanced at Foster who gave a barely discernible nod of the head, she understood as well.

''Okay, I will call you when I have the restraining order,'' Sandy held out his hand and Cal shook it.

''Thank you,'' he mumbled and Foster realised the last time she had seen Cal so vulnerable and unsure of himself was that awful morning after the explosion when Johnny had been missing. Losing one of his children was intolerable to him and yet here he was facing that possibility yet again.

''I'm sorry Cal,'' Foster said softly as Cal sat back in his chair and stared into space. He looked over at her.

''Have you thought about what I asked?'' Cal threw her totally off kilter by referencing what they had been avoiding.

Marie's words were playing on her mind and had increased her turmoil, not that you could tell, she appeared as cool as ever. She paused before answering him, aware that they were both stressed out and worried, not the best frame of mind to decide one's entire future.

''Cal, it's a big step. This situation with Johnny means you're not thinking clearly,'' Foster was grown up and rational, she recoiled at the flash of anger in Cal's eyes.

''Is that a no then?'' he asked gruffly and Foster was controlled as she gathered her thoughts.

''No, it's a this is not the time for that discussion,'' Foster replied evenly, very aware that Cal was pressurising her. She had alot to consider, too much and she wasn't about to be rushed.

''Gillian love, I meant it. I know that my timing is rubbish but I need an answer,'' Cal continued to pile it on.

''I don't trust you Cal, I'm sorry but I don't,'' Foster had to say it. Cal went very still and the seconds ticked by like hours. Foster had been truthful but that didn't stop her anguish at hurting him.

''I am not saying I won't ever again but at the moment it is still too soon,'' Foster explained herself even though she shouldn't have to. Cal didn't react for a long time.

Finally, he responded.

''Fair enough, give me some space love,'' Cal turned abruptly away from her and looked at the view through his office window steadfastly.

Foster stood motionlessly, she wanted to go to him, comfort him, receive comfort from him but there was a barrier stopping her.

Eventually, she turned and walked away.

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''Mum, have you got any money?'' They were now on the main road and Johnny very belatedly realised he was penniless.

''Oh yes, plenty,'' Sophie pulled a bundle of notes from her pocket and Johnny groaned internally, where had that come from?

''Good,'' Johnny took it from her, he would ask but for now his priority was to get them somewhere safe away from prying eyes.

''Come on mum, we'll get a motel,'' Johnny took her arm and led her away.

XyXyXyXyXy

Loker searched and searched but finally he had to admit to himself that he had lost his mentor's son. He made his way back to the office quickly despite the fact that it was likely he was about to be fired but Johnny's welfare had to come before his own interests.

He met Foster in the hallway and she saw it in his face immediately.

''When and where?'' she asked abruptly and Loker hesitated, the fact was he wasn't sure because he had been too busy getting a date.

''Sometime in the last hour, he climbed a tree and then he was gone,'' Loker said through a thick throat.

''Were you watching him?'' Foster knew the answer and Loker grimaced.

''Oh Loker, come on, we need to tell Cal,'' Foster took off down the hallway, a reluctant Loker dragging behind her.

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Johnny sat on the bed and watched as his mother fixed her hair in the mirror, she was twitchy and Johnny knew she wouldn't be contained in this room for long.

''I'd like a drink, shall we have a drink?'' She asked brightly and Johnny bit his lip, tea was fine but when it came to alcohol his mother was a light weight to say the least. There again, it often made her sleep so perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea.

''I can't get it for you mum. I'm a kid remember?'' Johnny replied and he saw the doubt flicker on her face. Somewhere deep down she knew there was something wrong about her actions but it was clouded, crowded out by too many random thoughts.

''I'll call and order some, we have plenty of money,'' Sophie worked that much out, it was a reasonably nice hotel so had room service.

''About that,'' Johnny felt able to ask now she was contained.

''Oh didn't you know? Your grandfather died, his heart or something. That's his money apparently,'' Sophie announced brightly as she lifted the phone.

A sense of terrible foreboding swept over Johnny, this was starting to feel like something far more than just a reunion, more like a grand gesture. In her present condition, any gesture his mother made was likely to pretty huge and that was a very scary thought.

The door knocked as Johnny tried to absorb the fact that John was dead, he knew he should feel something, grief, joy, something but there was nothing, just a gaping vacuum where his emotions were supposed to dwell.

Sophie went to answer the door and Johnny jumped when his phone buzzed silently in his pocket, cell phones spooked Sophie so it was the first thing he'd done, concealed it.

He did his best to ignore the sound but he knew full well that at the end of that irritating buzz was his freaked out father and he couldn't help feeling guilty.

''How is your father?'' Sophie sat opposite him with a glass of bourbon in her hand, a large glass.

''Did you get beer?'' Johnny rose to where he saw a six pack sitting.

''Yes of course,'' Sophie nodded.'' I know you like beer,''

Johnny didn't actually like beer but when she was drinking, she got mad if he didn't drink with her and beer was the safest option. If he'd touched the bourbon, he would be as sick as a dog.

''Your father?'' Sophie surprised him by staying on one train of thought, it was rare that she remembered the last five seconds when she was like this although she had been lucid about his grandfather's demise. Her lack of emotion was worrying though, John had been the one constant in her life besides her son. Johnny felt very out of his depth but he didn't know who to ask for help. His father was hardly his mother's biggest fan, he was unlikely to want to assist her. Suddenly, Johnny felt very alone.

''I thought you said he wasn't my father,'' Johnny took a sip of beer and cringed, it had been a while and it tasted bitter and unpleasant to his young palate which was accustomed to sweet soda.

''Did I? When did I say that? Cal Lightman, that's your father's name isn't it?'' Sophie was indignant as if Johnny was teasing her and she didn't like it.

''I don't bloody know do I?'' Johnny snapped and he put the can down as Sophie's eyes filled with tears.

''Sorry mum, I'm sorry. Don't cry, please don't cry,'' Johnny put his arm around her awkwardly and then she began to sob clutching him to her. At that precise moment all Johnny wanted was to go home and then in a moment of perfect clarity, he realised he wasn't alone and hadn't been for a long time now.

XyXyXyXyXy

''We should call the police,'' Foster said as Cal threw his cell on the table. Cal nodded and Foster picked up his desk phone.

''You can sod off and all. Go on piss off before I clout you,'' Cal spoke to Loker as if he was a naughty child and Loker blushed before taking his advice.

''That won't help. It's not Loker's fault, Johnny made the choice. Save your bad temper for him,'' Foster was waiting for an answer.

''Well I would love but I can't on accounts of the fact that I don't know where the hell he is do I?'' Cal yelled at her and Foster tutted, turning her back as an official voice greeted her on the other end of the phone.

Cal began to chew his lip anxiously, he might not know where Johnny was but he had a good idea who he was with and it wasn't very reassuring.

''They will be here soon, I told them about the injunction and they took it seriously when I mentioned Sophie's probable state of mind,'' Foster interrupted Cal's fretting and he nodded.

''Thanks love,'' Cal reached out and took her hand, she gave it a squeeze and Cal smiled tightly up at her.

''He survived without you before Cal and he knows how to handle his mother. Trust him,'' Foster tried to see the silver lining.

''Yeah I know but as her father has just died then it's not that straight forward is it?'' Cal revealed what was tearing him apart.

''No I guess it isn't,'' Foster had no other reply.

XyXyXyXyXyXyX


	31. Chapter 31 Longing

Thank you for your reviews, sadly I believe that this is an epitaph for my favourite show. It's gone, Fox never promoted the show, changed the scheduling constantly and whenever it gathered some momentum they put it on hiatus. Fox really are a rubbish network but it is what it is and we have to live with it. One thing I know for sure I will never watch Fringe ( what a horrible bunch their fans are) and as for that Chicago thing, no chance! Actually I am going to avoid Fox shows from now on because everytime I attach myself to one of their shows they end up cancelling it! Apart from the truly dull House which I watched when no one else did but then stopped when everyone else started because I was bored with it. All those viewers, how are they not bored with it? Baffling, don't hate it but not interested enough to remember to watch it.

Bones is my last hope but it's getting stale so may well be in it's death throes! All very depressing.

This is very, very and I say again very angsty. You have been warned, blame Fox, they did this to me.

Laters S X

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Johnny watched his mother anxiously as she downed half a bottle of bourbon, she was sitting on a chair curled up in a protective ball playing with her hair and humming tunelessly to herself. She appeared what she was, a lost little girl whose mind constantly played tricks on her.

Johnny finished his beer and blinked in an attempt to clear his head, it was only one beer but he was small and young so its effects were magnified.

''I should take my pills,'' Sophie sat up abruptly spilling the liquor down her front, a brown stain spreading on the white linen.

''You can't mum, you've been drinking,'' Johnny reminded her miserably, he was waiting for her to pass out so he could make the call that he so desperately longed to.

Sophie blinked at him and in her eyes he saw confusion.

''Who are you?'' she asked and Johnny was stunned into silence, this had never happened before but it was obvious to anyone who took the time, not that it appeared anyone actually had, that her condition had worsened considerably.

''Mum?'' Johnny thought that might help but it had the opposite effect, it aggravated her.

''Don't call me that, why are you calling me that? I'm not a mother, look at me! How could I ever be a mother?'' She hissed vehemently and she raised the hand holding the glass as she spoke. Johnny was mesmerised by this lack of control and he froze.

He couldn't avoid it; he didn't see it until it hit him. The glass shattered against the side of his head, sending splinters across the room, one of which pierced the brow of his eye. Blood flowed freely immediately coursing a warm, vibrant red river down the side of his face.

Johnny stood and screamed, a high pitched scream that reverberated down the corridor bringing several guests out of their rooms.

''Mum, shit mum, look what you did. Look what you fucking did,'' Johnny put his hand to his eye and cried out in pain as it connected with the offending shard of glass that was still wedged where it had landed.

''You hurt me, you hurt me,'' Johnny looked helplessly at her, in all the years that she had been sick; she had never turned on him physically.

''Sweetheart, oh sweetheart, I'm sorry. Let me see, please let me see,'' Sophie was beside him, clawing at him, needy as always and Johnny pushed her away. He wasn't impressed that all of a sudden she seemed to know exactly who he was.

''Don't, leave me alone, get away from me, '' Johnny gasped between hitching breaths, he wanted his dad, he really wanted his dad!

''Granddad's gone, oh God Granddad's gone. My daddy's gone,'' Sophie put her hand to her forehead and hit herself hard with the palm of her hand.

''Stupid, stupid,'' she punctuated each word with a blow and she kept doing it over and over. Johnny began to lose control, his eyes blurred with tears.

''Mum, don't. Please don't,'' He pulled her hand away and she stilled, her eyes narrowed as she regarded him. Johnny sniffed and wiped his face on his sleeve, the blood was still flowing and the front of his shirt was covered with an ever increasing stain of crimson.

''Calm down mum, please calm down,'' Johnny tried to be soothing as he edged his way towards the door, he couldn't help her and he didn't want to, all he wanted was to get away from her.

''You're not leaving me, please don't leave me. I can't be alone, don't leave me alone love, please don't,'' Sophie blocked the way to the door and Johnny realised he was trapped but there again he had been for most of his life so it was no great surprise.

XyXyXyXyXyXy

''We have already issued an Amber Alert, I see he's had one of those before,'' the cop said as he raised quizzical eyebrows at Cal.

''Complicated mate, very complicated. All you need to know is the woman with him is a deranged lunatic and we need to find them pronto,'' Cal was scathing and the cop got the message.

''We're on it. You guys sit tight and leave it to us,'' the cop touched his cap and took his leave.

Foster looked at Cal, she folded her arms, waiting for what she knew was about to come next.

''Bugger that love, we're going to the park. See if we can combine all those hard earned qualifications and retrace the steps of one small boy and his nutty muvver,'' Cal was already shrugging on his jacket.

Foster didn't argue, she couldn't just sit and wait either.

Emily stopped their quick getaway in its tracks as she appeared in the doorway.

''So this is some kind of a joke right? Johnny hasn't been kidnapped again has he? Jeez dad, way to get some control,'' Emily managed to get a smile out of Cal but it was very half hearted.

''Yeah I know love, silly little sod's gone and done it again. What can I say? It's probably genetic,'' Cal shrugged and Emily linked arms with him.

''Where are we going?'' Emily asked as they strolled towards the exit.

''We are going to the scene of the crime love, always a good place to start,'' Cal answered and Emily nodded.

She stopped, waiting for Foster to catch up and linked arms with her too.

''Now we're ready, '' Emily nodded, satisfied.

XyXyXyXyxY

Johnny sat on the floor in the corner of the room, his knees clutched to his chest, he made himself as small and unthreatening as he could aware that his mother could blow again at any minute. He watched her as she prowled the room like a caged animal, he bit his hand as he prayed for it to stop, please make it stop!

She was arguing with herself but Johnny could make little sense of what she was saying as she was now very drunk.

Johnny touched his eye tentatively and it connected with the glass causing him to hiss as the sting intensified. At least the bleeding had slowed although he was pretty sure he looked like the victim of an axe murderer.

''I have an idea,'' Sophie stopped pacing.

''Do you mum? What is it?'' Johnny answered her as evenly as he could manage although his voice sounded shrill and on the edge of hysteria. He felt another wave of tears gathering and began to deep breathe in a futile attempt to control himself.

''It's time to go to sleep baby,'' Sophie smiled serenely and Johnny was relieved, he'd been waiting for this moment.

''That's a good idea mum,'' he answered trying to keep the eagerness from his voice. She looked sharply at him and he dropped his head, avoiding her eyes.

''Not that kind of sleep, the forever kind, the kind where you stop feeling. The kind that means we'll be free, both of us free together. We'll be with Granddad,'' Sophie began rifling through her purse.

Johnny looked up in horror, very aware of what she was suggesting.

''I don't want that mum, I want to stay here. I want to stay with dad, with Em, with Gill. I want to stay with my family, I love them,'' Johnny began to cry quietly as he sat in a pitiful huddled ball, he cried for his father, no one else would do, just his dad. The one person he trusted above all others, the one person who could rescue him and understand the pain of a mother's betrayal.

The hate filled look that Sophie threw at him made him recoil and he was left staring at a woman he had never met before. The tears dried up as sheer terror enveloped him, he read the intent, he could see it starkly written on her face.

''You don't know what you want,'' Sophie spat venomously as she stood, a bottle of pills in her hand.

''We take these sweetheart and all the pain will be gone, we'll be happy. I promise okay?'' Sophie poured another large shot of bourbon and Johnny regretted that she had ordered two bottles. How could she still be standing? Mental illness obviously raised your alcohol tolerance.

''All we have to do is take these and then it will stop and we'll be alright, we'll be together and all the noise will be gone, can't you hear it? The world is so noisy, I want it to be quiet baby, me and you in the quiet,'' Sophie knelt in front of Johnny holding out several white pills on a flat hand.

''No, please don't. Please stop it, please,'' Johnny pleaded with her and then pulled his face away as she tried to touch his cheek.

''Please sweetheart, for me,'' Sophie persisted thrusting the hand closer and then Johnny nodded.

His dad wasn't coming and he had to face her alone.

XyXyXyXyXy

''So what do you think he would do?'' Cal surveyed the park and Foster followed his sweep with one of her own, considering the options.

''Well, she would have been in a suspect state of mind so he would have resorted to type,'' she said nervously.

''Type love, what type is that?'' Cal asked whilst Emily looked offended on her absent brother's behalf.

''He took care of her, that's what he did. That's the special role he performs for her so he would return to his comfort zone. He would look for somewhere safe, a place he could fulfil his responsibilities,'' Foster thought that was obvious.

''The office is only five minutes away, wouldn't he consider that a safe place then?'' Cal remarked with an edge and Foster made an exasperated cluck with her tongue.

Emily suppressed a laugh and both adults stared at her.

''Is this edgy thing part of your process or something?'' Emily said it although she knew how they operated.

''Yes Emily it is, as you well know,'' Cal tapped her gently on the head.

''So he didn't go to the office, we know that. So where would he take her?'' Emily changed the subject and got them back on track.

''Somewhere that no one would ask questions and he could control what she does,'' Foster said firmly.

''He's twelve love, do you really think he would have done that?'' Cal was less than convinced, Johnny was a little boy in his eyes and not capable of such calculating rationale.

''You are thinking of the boy you know, he becomes something else when he is with her. Sorry Cal but he does,'' Foster said with considerable regret.

''Yeah I s'pose he does,'' Cal admitted quietly and standing there he felt very alienated, as if they were trying to second guess a stranger not his boy, the boy with an easy smile and a special place in his heart .

''He's still ours dad,'' Emily stepped up immediately and Foster smiled approvingly at her, Emily had a handle on how her father ticked better than anyone even Foster.

''I know love, I know,'' Cal rolled on the balls of his feet, his hands deep in his pockets, his fallback position.

''Motel, they would go to a motel but it would have to be a good one because Sophie couldn't handle anything too down market,'' Foster said suddenly and Cal nodded, that made sense.

''So is there a good motel nearby?'' Emily asked the obvious and Cal smiled, a crooked smile that only made an appearance when things were looking up.

''There is as it happens, follow me,'' Cal swaggered away and Emily rolled her eyes.

Foster laughed and they did what they always did and followed him .

XyXyXyXyXy

''Mum, I don't want to hurt myself and neither do you really,'' Johnny tried to shrink away from her but there was a wall in the way.

''Just take a couple and then you will feel better. I promise, it's for the best. Trust me?'' Sophie pushed them at him again and Johnny took them hiding them in his fist.

''Good boy, I love you sweetheart,'' Sophie said and with that she emptied the remainder of the container in her mouth, she washed them down with a huge slug of bourbon whilst her son looked on in horror.

XyXyXyXy

As soon as they arrived it was clear they were in the right place, pandemonium didn't do it justice. There were several police cars and more worrying an ambulance, slung in the street in front of the motel, they were most definitely in a hurry and hadn't bothered to park them.

''Dad?'' Emily looked to her father who gulped as a lump appeared to have blocked his throat.

''Stay here love,'' Cal motioned with his eyes and Foster stepped in with a comforting arm.

''I will back in a minute okay? Just stay here with Gill,'' Cal placed a kiss on Emily's forehead, gave her what he hoped was a reassuring stare and then walked rapidly through the entrance to the motel.

''Excuse me,'' Cal tapped the first cop he saw on the shoulder.

''Sir, we're busy here. Could you move back?'' The cop stopped short of actually pushing Cal.

''No, I can't bloody move back. I'm looking for my son and I think he's here. This is a picture, have you seen him?'' Cal showed the smiley school portrait he kept in his wallet and a flash of recognition then fear swept over the cop's face.

''So you have, where is he?'' Cal asked immediately.

''I didn't say that,'' the cop spluttered.

''Yeah you did, here and here,'' Cal pointed at the cop's face who glowered defensively at him.

''What's your name?'' he asked reluctantly and Cal felt the foreboding crushing his chest.

''Doctor Cal Lightman, can I see my son now please?'' Cal stepped forward but the cop placed a restraining hand on his chest.

''Sir, if you stay here, I'll get my captain to come speak to you,'' the cop was insistent and it didn't help Cal's mood.

''Why do I have to stay here? What aren't you telling me?'' Cal subtly squared up to the cop who gestured to a colleague nearby.

''Please keep this guy here,'' he said. ''I'll bring my captain over just stay put okay?'' he spoke to Cal then who found his path blocked by yet another burly cop.

''Two minutes, I'm giving you two minutes,'' he agreed and the cop trotted away obviously hearing the underlying threat in those words.

Cal blew out a heavy sigh and there began a very long two minutes.


	32. Chapter 32 Cal's Tears!

Thanks for the reviews. You were so generous with your praise of my writing and it makes it so worthwhile.

So I suspect I have watched my last episode of LTM and what a way to end, I felt like crying. It was left dangling, our wishes about to fulfilled, thank goodness I've written my own version of their story, if only the writers had been brave enough.

I will hold onto your messages of optimism but I am resigned in my heart. Trust bloody Fox, just hate them, bunch of wankers! Maybe another network will take it up? I shall hold onto that hope.

Anyway, here it is. Dramatic as always but hope you enjoy it.

Laters S X

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Johnny watched as they wheeled his mother past him strapped to a gurney, she was heavily unconscious but Johnny found himself not really caring.

The female paramedic cleaning him up sat back on her haunches and smiled at him.

''You're gonna pull it out aren't you?'' He asked in a whisper, he was tired, very tired.

''Yes honey, I am,'' she confirmed what he already knew.

''Well I s'pose we could go with you telling me it ain't gonna hurt but we both know that's bollocks don't we?'' Johnny made her laugh.

''It's alright, I prefer the truth, my dad's big on the truth and I think he's right. The truth works,'' Johnny's eyes filled with regret and then he opened his fist. He held out the pills on a flat palm.

''She swallowed a load of these, it'll help won't it?'' Johnny was earnest and the paramedic took them.

''Yeah honey it will but you know your mom is real sick don't you?'' The paramedic was gentle after she had handed over the medication to a nearby colleague.

''Yeah I know. About this pulling it out thing. Shouldn't you wait 'til we get to hospital? They always do it at the hospital in ER, they have drugs that will stop it hurting don't they?'' Johnny attempted to sweet talk her.

''That's TV hun, its best we get it out here so we can clean the wound up. That way it won't get infected,'' the paramedic used reason, sensing it was the best approach with this child.

''I thought only doctors should do it though,'' the boy was bright the paramedic had to hand him that.

''Well that's usually true but this time I think I can handle it,'' the paramedic countered and Johnny nodded reluctantly.

''His father's here. What should I tell him?'' A cop appeared and was insensitive to say the least.

''My dad! Where is he? I want my dad, please get my dad,'' Johnny clutched the paramedics arm, his eyes desperate.

''We're not sure he should speak to him. It's a custody thing apparently,'' the cop continued with the bluntness and the paramedic shot him a dirty look.

Johnny turned away from her, curling himself in a ball as best as he could whilst avoiding his eye. He started to cry and the paramedic knew her task had just got much harder.

''Is he the guardian?'' the paramedic asked and the cop nodded.

''Well in that case, you could find yourself with a big lawsuit if you stop him especially as I believe it is in the boy's best interests medically wise for his father to be present ,'' the paramedic had a lawyer husband which was unfortunate for the cop.

''You gonna take the risk?'' the paramedic applied some more pressure and Johnny peeked out at her, he had an ally.

''I'll go get him,'' the cop disappeared and Johnny sat up.

''Thanks,'' he said shyly and the paramedic patted his hand.

''We'll wait on your dad before we do it. Okay with you?'' she said and was rewarded with a huge smile and a nod.

''Let's clean you up before your dad sees you, it might freak him up,'' the paramedic concerned herself with practicalities.

Cal was on the point of rushing through the line of cops but he was aware that he would probably end up in custody which would help no one. Cal Lightman dug deep and found some patience but it was just about spent when the elusive Captain finally turned up.

''I want to see my son and I want to see him now,'' Cal was bullish although there was a niggling fear that the police were keeping him away for the worst of reasons but he wouldn't allow that thought to dominate.

''He's right over here, I'll take you. We'll talk on the way,'' the Captain was reason personified and Cal had nowhere to go with his hostility.

''Oh right,'' he said and he gave Foster the thumbs up before trotting after the rapidly disappearing man.

''What's the story here Doctor Lightman?'' The Captain stopped and Cal followed suit reluctantly, he knew it was never going to be that easy.

''You are aware of the situation regarding Homeland Security?'' Cal was fishing and the Captain threw him a caustic glare.

''I am aware that they are all over this like a bad case of Poison Ivy but I don't know why. We are not considered important enough to be trusted with classified information although we are allowed to clean up the mess,'' the Captain made it clear he wasn't pleased by that fact.

''Well there is a restraining order so that's been breached hasn't it?'' Cal didn't reveal much and the captain narrowed his eyes.

''Yes, it has. Were you aware she was unstable?'' The Captain annoyed Cal with his implication.

''Yes mate, I was. It's why I got a restraining order in the first place,'' Cal made it clear that he thought the Captain was dense.

''Right well...'' the Captain came over all uncomfortable and Cal's sense of foreboding re-emerged.

''So?'' Cal raised his eyebrows and the Captain sighed.

''She's an attempted suicide, took a bunch of pills and drank a lot of liquor, your kid witnessed the whole thing but we haven't talked to him yet,'' the Captain's eyes showed compassion although his tone was harsh and Cal softened his stance towards him. He appreciated his forth rightness, it was what was required.

''Well that's one thing you got right innit? So why did you lot turn up then, I assume you weren't just passing by?'' Cal covered his fear with cockiness, seeing no reason to change the habits of a life time.

''The hotel called, there was a disturbance,'' the Captain exhibited extreme anxiety.

''What sort of disturbance?'' Cal asked although he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

''There was some screaming,'' the Captain tried to be diplomatic but failed dismally. It was what it was after all.

Cal looked at him, speechless for once, his disquiet multiplying by the nano-second. This was worse that he'd imagined, much worse.

''Physically he's okay,'' the Captain tried to ease him into it but it wasn't helping much.

''Well that's dandy innit? Can I see him please?'' Cal was brusque in an attempt to cover his distress but he saw the pity in the other man's face and it annoyed him.

''Now would be good!'' Cal raised his voice.

''He's right over there but we will need to speak to him as soon as he's ready,'' the Captain reminded Cal as if he needed reminding.

''Yeah right well that's gonna have to wait isn't it?'' Cal made it clear that was going to happen over his dead body.

The Captain pointed a few yards away and Cal saw Johnny with a female paramedic, he cringed as he instantly registered the blood and the wound that still had glass jutting out of it, he was going to fucking kill Sophie if he ever got the chance, stone fucking dead, sick or not. Cal strolled over; ignoring the Captain now he had served his purpose.

''Alright boyzy, what have you been up to?'' Cal was as casual as he could manage but the sight of Johnny sitting covered in blood looking very small and frightened as bedlam reigned around him was a salutary dose of reality.

''Dad,'' a wave of conflicting emotions rushed over his son's face and it was with considerable relief that Cal watched pleasure win out.

''Well this is a right spot of bovver innit?'' Cal laid a gentle hand on the side of Johnny's head and the boy blushed.

''Sorry,'' Johnny looked down as shame overwhelmed him.

''Right Johnny, you need to listen and you need to listen well. See all this?'' Cal crouched down as he spoke; he dipped his head and caught his son's eye. Johnny nodded and sniffed, his head firmly pointing south.

''All this,'' Cal waved his hand and Johnny eyes flashed with fear this time,'' is not and I repeat myself not your fault. This is your mother's responsibility, her choices, her pain. You got me?''

Johnny looked up and Cal saw doubt, they were locked together in a bubble and for a moment, all Cal could hear was his boy's rapid and panicked breathing. At that moment Cal would say or do anything to stop the hurting, take it away the way a father was supposed to.

''I am telling you the truth,'' Cal reaffirmed and Johnny nodded although doubt still remained.

''It is not your fault, you did not do this. Your mother did,'' Cal reiterated and he knew it would not be the last time he made such an assurance; he would have to say this many times.

''I left Loker in the park and went with her,'' Johnny whispered as he subconsciously leaned closer to his dad, seeking the safety of his physicality.

''Which was wrong but still doesn't make this anything to do with you. Your mother chose to do what she did, not you,'' Cal leaned in too and there was barely a centimetre between them, Cal's hand remained on Johnny's head reminding him that Cal was here now.

''Do you know what she did?'' Johnny was barely audible but Cal heard him.

''Yeah son I do and it was very wrong of her but now we need to get you sorted so you can come home where you belong,'' Cal spoke clearly and Johnny finally showed relief and then sheer exhaustion claimed him, he swooned and Cal caught him as he fell forward languidly, the adult man falling back with a bump but not loosening his tight grip on the young boy.

Cal cradled his now almost comatose son on his lap and looked at the paramedic for the first time.

''I'm sorry but I need to take him,'' she was already prising him away but Cal couldn't let go.

''Please, let me do my job. Let me help him, please?'' The paramedic took a moment despite the fact she didn't have one. Cal nodded and let her whisk him up. He watched as she and several colleagues ministered to his son. They were working almost as one and Cal was reassured, Johnny was in good hands even if they weren't his.

''Cal?'' Foster's voice cut through his daze and he looked up, blinking rapidly, tears had gathered in his eyes without him noticing but he didn't bother hiding them. He didn't have to with this one woman; with this woman he could expose his true self.

''Gill,'' he replied plaintively as he stood and she embraced him immediately just as he had done for her on many occasions.

''I'm here Cal, I'm here and I will always be here,'' Gill said clearly and even though, yet again, his life was falling apart in front of him, Cal smiled.


	33. Chapter 33 Mom In Charge

Thank you for your lovely reviews, people are still enjoying this fic which makes me very lucky.

This is a short one but felt guilty for how I ended the last one.

Let me know what you think but my loyal readers always do so I don't really have to ask do I? As I said, lucky!

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''He only fainted, he's coming round. It's shock and he was breathing way too fast,'' the paramedic explained now she was sure her patient wasn't about to die on her.

''Thank you,'' Foster replied, sensing that Cal was close to drained.

''Dad?'' Johnny's first woozy words called to the one stable parent in his life and Cal moved forward immediately taking the outreached hand.

''Where am I?'' Johnny sat up abruptly, his eyes confused.

''Ssssh, it's alright son, you're alright. Lay down,'' Cal soothed him and Johnny visibly relaxed, slumping back down.

''Wow, I wish my kids listened to me like that,'' the paramedic laughed and Cal flashed her a crooked smile.

''He doesn't usually do as he's told,'' Cal quipped back and the paramedic nodded.

''No, they never do when they're what twelve, maybe thirteen? How old are you hun?'' She half sat on the side of the gurney that Johnny was lying on, he had his eyes firmly closed and he was scowling. Everyone waited, the adults aware that she was checking how coherent he was.

''My eye hurts and I wanna go home. Don't wanna talk to you,'' came the very grumpy reply. Cal smiled over at Foster who was watching proceedings with Emily by her side; she had a reassuring arm around the frightened girl.

''That's more normal,'' Foster commented and the paramedic seemed pleased with that news.

''Mmmm ain't that the truth? My boy's fourteen so I am all too familiar with that tone,'' she explained as she tapped Johnny's leg.

''Have to see those pretty eyes of yours and you're going to need to talk awhile with me. Then I promise I'll go easy,'' she insisted but there was no response.

''Johnny, sit up and cooperate. You're being rude,'' it was Foster who dished the tough love. Cal was relieved, he appreciated the much needed and well timed support.

Johnny sat huffily up, blinking against the bright light. It was gratifying to see Johnny respond positively to her, it was testament to the solid relationship Foster had built with him.

''Good boy, so you do what your mom says huh? Makes you pretty smart if you ask me, moms are the ones who are really in charge whatever the dads think,'' the paramedic made an understandable assumption, clearly she thought Foster was Johnny's step mother and Cal cringed, waiting for the sharp rebuke he was pretty sure was coming.

'' Yeah they are, well mine is anyway,'' Johnny grinned at Foster and Cal frowned, realising that they were ganging up against him. He didn't miss the pleasure that passed over Foster's face and he forgot his annoyance in a flash, without thinking he leaned down to place a sloppy kiss on Johnny's forehead and the boy's face contorted with embarrassment. Cal chuckled so Johnny poked his tongue out at him but that just made Cal chuckle more.

''Don't dad, I'm not a baby,'' Johnny was apparently back to normal as his smart mouth emerged from temporary hibernation.

''I'm twelve,'' he answered the previous question, his memory was obviously intact and the paramedic nodded.

''Yeah, kinda figured. Too old for your dad to fuss over you right?'' she winked and Johnny narrowed his eyes, suspicion shining on his face.

''You want to pull the glass out now don't you?'' he enquired and the paramedic rolled her eyes.

''You are way too smart for your own good,'' she held up some tweezers.

''It's gonna hurt. Can't you leave it?'' Johnny reached out a panicked hand to Cal who caught it; he crouched down beside the gurney.

''Didn't know you were such a cry baby son?'' Cal said, he knew that the only way to sell this was to make it a challenge.

''Yeah, come on Jono, don't be a wuss,'' Emily finally spoke and Johnny looked surprised. He hadn't noticed her before, he was very pleased to see her but covered it, Cal saw it though and he knew Emily did as well.

''Em? Blimey, are Loker and Torres here as well?'' Johnny complained but he was stalling and they all knew it.

''Let Amy do her job and then we will be home before you know it. You can have pizza and ice cream,'' Foster had her methods as well and she utilised them at the appropriate moment.

''Can I have ice cream first?'' Johnny tried to get the best deal possible.

''No,'' Foster replied without hesitation and Johnny shrugged, he hadn't expected her to agree.

''Go on then but be quick,'' he turned his eye nonchalantly towards Amy but kept a tight hold on Cal's hand.

It was over quickly but the wound instantly began to bleed fresh, crimson blood.

''How can I have any blood left?'' Johnny whined as Amy held a pressure dressing onto his injured brow. He hissed as the sting intensified but managed to hold back the tears.

Cal smiled indulgently as he watched him try to live up to what he believed were Cal's expectations of him, at that moment Cal decided that maybe he had pushed the macho image a little too much. It was time to soften his approach, this boy would need a lot of TLC in the next few weeks and Cal was more than ready to provide it. He remembered with total clarity how it felt to always present a hard exterior to the world because it was what a tough father expected, he would not repeat those mistakes. He had almost fallen victim to his past ruining his present and he had to make sure he didn't conform to that stereotype from now on.

''It'll slow soon, you have plenty of blood left. Don't worry, I won't let you lose it all,'' she joked to Johnny who didn't look convinced.

''We're taking him to Mercy, one of you can come with,'' Amy beckoned a colleague over to help her. Cal knew it was a different hospital from Sophie and silently thanked the powers that be for showing some good sense for once.

''You go Gill,'' Cal said and Foster looked stunned.

''No, no, it's okay,'' she stammered, she wanted to but didn't want to over step her boundaries. Cal let go of Johnny's hand and walked over to her, both kids watched him curiously.

''I said you go,'' Cal kissed her softly on the cheek and then whispered in her ear. ''He needs his mum.''

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''What do you mean you don't have a car? How are we gonna get home?'' Johnny looked appalled at this lack of foresight on his parents' part.

''I think we should get a bus,'' Cal winked at Foster.

'' A bus!'' Emily was next with the disgust, her nose stuck firmly in the air.

''Bloody hell, when did my kids become such spoilt brats? There is nothing wrong with getting on a bus, millions of people get busses. Not everyone has a flash motor you know,'' Cal was now actually considering it, just to teach his snobby, pampered children a lesson.

''But I'm hurt and covered in blood. People will look at me,'' Johnny gave a persuasive argument; Cal had to admit he had a point. Johnny had six stitches in his eye and was a gory sight.

''Gill can take you home, me and Em will get the bus,'' Cal didn't give in straight away; he wanted his pound of flesh.

Foster watched him and marvelled at the depth and originality of his relationship with his children, it was entertaining and very touching.

''Sweet, sucks to be you Em,'' Johnny was happy with that compromise. Foster frowned disapprovingly at him and tried to take his hand but he skipped away from her.

''Don't be such a little shit,'' Emily reacted angrily and Cal stepped in to prevent a fight, he grabbed his hyperactive son's hand.

''Pack it in, both of you!'' Cal pulled Johnny to his side with one hand and pointed a reprimanding finger at his daughter with the other. Neither looked impressed by such decisiveness but they held their tongues.

'' In fact this might be a good time to mention I'm considering selling the car, for the sake of the environment,'' Cal enjoyed the look on each of his kid's faces, served them right, it was time they appreciated how lucky they were.

''Are you gonna marry Gill?'' Johnny proved once again that when pushed, he would always find a way to out manoeuvre Cal.

''Yeah dad, are you?'' Emily added with a cocky smirk.

''Cab! Cab! Oi, over 'ere mate!'' Cal ignored them and held his hand up.


	34. Chapter 34 About Bloody Time You Asked!

Thanks for the reviews, very complimentary as always. Already missing the show and I have to report with considerable sadness that this fic is approaching the end of it's natural life. A few more chapters left I think although that may change if I have a brain wave. Suggestions from you lot always gratefully accepted.

Off to football shortly, big game today. Should be interesting, the English amongst you will know what I'm on about, won't bore the rest of you with the details.

Onwards and upwards, S X

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''You know when everyone says I look like you, is that true or do they just say it to be nice?'' Johnny was eating ice-cream in the kitchen whilst they waited for the pizza. So much for Foster's impressive no; she was as always putty in this boy's hands.

''You were told no to this weren't you?'' Cal took the tub away and Johnny gave him a toothy, creamy grin.

''Sorry,'' Johnny didn't sound sorry at all; Cal pulled the cork from the wine bottle and poured two large glasses.

''So do I?'' Johnny persisted and Cal gave him a puzzled look. Johnny was sitting on the countertop and he looked pale with dark circles under his eyes. Cal tried to check his temperature with his hand but Johnny pulled away irritably.

''Dad, don't. I'm fine, answer my question,'' Johnny pressured and Cal took a moment to consider why he might query their relationship.

''Why would you ask that?'' Cal cocked his head to one side as he attempted to read his son's face.

''You're not allowed to do that,'' Johnny reminded him and Cal shrugged.

''Humour me, so come on then. Why are you asking me that particular question? You've never asked before,'' Cal went over and stood right in front of the boy, he placed one hand casually on the counter beside him but they both knew it wasn't casual at all. Johnny chewed his lip looking quizzically at his father, clearly sizing him up.

''The truth boyzy, tell the truth,'' Cal pre-empted any futile attempt at lying; he followed up by moving even closer so they were almost nose to nose. Johnny dipped his eyes but then he lifted them again, a decision had been made.

''Are you sure I'm yours?''Johnny distress flashed in his eyes as he spoke but then the guarded, slightly hunted look took over.

Cal was flummoxed, where the hell had that come from? As soon as he thought it, he knew the answer. There was little doubt where that question had come from. Jesus, he could wring that woman's neck, the extent of the damage she had caused in the few hours she had spent alone with his son was a thought that Cal was loathed to consider.

''What do you think?'' Cal moved even closer again, the top of his legs touching Johnny's knees. It was a power position but had proved effective in the past so Cal went for it before he tried the coaxing approach.

''Dad,'' Johnny's voice rose with anxiety and Cal waivered, hadn't he promised himself that he would be gentler? This was not a good start.

''Come here yer daft sod,'' Cal pulled Johnny to him and hugged him, smothering him so he couldn't escape if he wanted to but he didn't, he accepted the comfort which was a positive.

''Are you sure?'' Johnny mumbled into Cal's shirt front.

''Son, it's as obvious as night and day, if only for the fact that you are a little sod most of the time plus you're very handsome, so it's a dead cert,'' Cal raised Johnny's face with a firm finger on the chin as he attempted to reassure him. Johnny blushed but there was still doubt lingering in his eyes.

''I checked son,'' Cal said softly, he hadn't wanted to reveal that but it was necessary.

''How?'' Johnny frowned, he hadn't taken a blood test, he would have noticed.

''Remember when we went to the docs that first day and he scraped the inside of your mouth?'' Cal was as gentle as he could be, that test was a blessing and a curse all rolled into one. Johnny nodded.

''It was a DNA test Jono and it confirmed beyond any doubt that I am definitely your dad, sorry but you are stuck with me, like it or not,'' Cal knew he was holding his breath as he waited on Johnny's reaction.

''I like it,'' Johnny asserted with a determined glint and Cal laughed spontaneously, a laugh borne of pure joy.

''Yeah me too son, me too,'' Cal hugged him again, he pulled away regretfully and Johnny gave a shy smile, still disarmed by such tactile and intense affection being exhibited by an adult male.

''Didn't you believe her then?'' Johnny didn't come easily but Cal was prepared for that.

''Yes, I believed her but I had to be sure, for my sake and yours. Apart from anything, the judge would not have let you stay with me without proof,'' Cal explained gently and Johnny nodded. That made sense.

''Yeah, I s'pose so,'' Johnny shrugged although his whole face was a picture of misery.

''She's ill son, you have to keep reminding yourself of that fact. I know you're angry but she didn't know what she was doing, she lost the plot a long time ago,'' Cal physically recoiled at the level of anger that invaded Johnny's face, it was bordering on pure hate. An honest emotion but not one that was comfortable for a parent to witness on their young off spring's face.

''She did know, she did. She tried to force me do it as well. I don't care how fucking sick she is. I hate her! I fucking hate her and I never want to see her again,'' Johnny shoved Cal's arm out of the way and jumped down from the counter, he hardly took two steps before Cal caught him around the waist and swung him back into his arms.

The fact that Johnny had just revealed that his mother had attempted to coerce him into harming himself would have to wait for now but dimly in the back of his mind Cal acknowledged to himself that some might interpret her actions as attempted murder but he couldn't consider that now. Now, he had to focus on what was important and that was his son, the son that had been gifted to him, the son he would never forsake, whatever it took, he was not losing him again.

''Get off, get off. Leave me alone, leave me the fuck alone,'' Johnny fought him but Cal didn't let go, he just held on tight until Johnny began to cry, huge, tearing sobs ripped through his tiny body as he sobbed his heart out. Cal held on and didn't loosen his hold if anything he tightened the protective circle of his arms around his wounded son, he held on and waited as intense grief and agony poured out of Johnny in a tidal wave that threatened to engulf father and son.

''It's alright boyzy, it's all going to be alright. Honest it is,'' Cal whispered huskily and at long last he knew he was speaking the truth.

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''Dad?'' Emily looked at her father with haunted eyes and Cal gave a wide smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He handed Foster her wine and collapsed back on the sofa next to her with a deep, weary sigh.

''He's okay love, it's bound to be difficult for a while. Why don't you go check on him? He's playing one of those horrible games of his,'' Cal caught Emily's hand as she passed him, he looked up at her and their eyes met, Cal squeezed and Emily nodded.

''That sounded tough,'' Foster had her legs curled under her and she looked totally relaxed in his home, she also looked good enough to eat in Cal's eyes.

He leaned over, stroked a gentle finger down her cheek and placed a butterfly kiss at the corner of her mouth before turning his attention to the soft curve of her neck. His movements were slow and deliberate; Foster felt a river of desire trickle down her body resulting in an involuntary shiver and a soft moan carried out on a softly expelled breath.

Cal looked up at her and smiled before giving her neck a final nip, he sat up. Foster was red and flustered, lust overwhelmed Cal, he placed a firm hand on her cheek and claimed her lips with a deep, passionate kiss that left Foster reeling.

Cal sat back, gulped his wine and gave her a smug smile.

''Now that is how I always want you to respond when I kiss you, even when we're old and grey and have been married for a million years,'' he said as he watched Foster try to get control herself but there was really only one thing that would calm her down.

Cal stood up and without asking pulled her to her feet in front of him.

''Cal, the kids,'' Foster had no idea that her voice was laced with invitation and her protest was weak, she was keeping up appearances as they both knew.

''Will be fine but you Gill, you will not be fine. No Gillian Foster, it had been far too long and I really need it don't you?'' Cal whispered in her ear and Foster gasped and then nodded, very enthusiastically.

''That's what I thought, let's go,'' Cal took her hand and virtually dragged her to his bedroom although she was hardly unwilling.

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Emily watched the intensity of her brother's killing and it frightened her, he wasn't killing the zombies on the screen, his target was much more personal than that.

''Jono, what happened?'' Emily asked what everyone else had been avoiding. Johnny dropped the controller with a clatter and looked at the ground.

''Nuffink, niffink happened,'' he replied but his entire body contradicted the spoken words, something had happened, something very unpleasant indeed.

''Jono,'' Emily said softly and he looked at her then, his eyes watery and filled with confusion.

''Why are you so nice to me?'' He asked, it threw Emily who frowned, unsure why the conversation had taken this turn.

''I'm not all the time,'' She smiled and Johnny reciprocated with a crooked smile of his own.

''Yeah but you know what I mean. I don't get it,'' Johnny sat on the bed next to her.

''What don't you get?'' Emily tentatively placed her arm around him, expecting rejection but he didn't even seem to notice.

''I've got a headache,'' Johnny deflected and Emily laughed.

''So that's a crock. What is it that you don't get?'' Emily persisted.

''I'm sorry about Bailey Em, I really liked him. I wish I could change what happened, I really do,'' Johnny knew he was going to cry again and he was annoyed with himself but he was shaky and exhausted, too exhausted to control the constant wave of emotion that kept overwhelming him.

''I know Jono, so do I,'' Emily squeezed his shoulders as her grief reawakened, when she was distracted by the latest bout of family drama, she forgot but then she always had to return to the realisation that it wasn't a bad dream after all. It just refreshed the hurt each and every time, then she had relive that first awful moment when she had learnt that the boy she loved so intensely was lost forever.

''My mum's mad Em, really, really mad and I think I am too,'' Johnny murmured and Emily flinched, it was so unfair that her father and now her brother had to carry such a huge burden.

''You're not Jono, just because your mom is sick does not mean you are sick too,'' Emily said the words but in her heart she knew he wouldn't believe her, he would carry this fear his entire life just as their father did.

''She took all her medicine and she tried to make me take some as well. She kept going on about wanting peace and how the world was noisy, that we could go somewhere quiet. I wanted to Em, I really wanted to,'' Johnny let the tears go; he didn't have the energy to stop them.

''Oh Jono,'' Emily tried to comfort him but what he told her, chilled her to the bone. She hadn't known how dangerous Sophie was; she just hoped that her dad made sure she wouldn't be allowed near Johnny again.

''See, I told you,'' Johnny sat up wiping his eyes across a sleeve, '' I am mad, I have to be. Why would I want to do summink like that if I was sane?''

''Why didn't you? What made you say no?'' Emily actually wanted to know, he must have been terrified, locked in a room with a deranged woman who had already hurt him and was intent on finishing the job. Most kids would have acquiesced through terror if nothing else.

Johnny blushed a deep red and sniffed.

''What?'' Emily could see he was hiding something and whatever it was embarrassed him.

''Didn't want to leave you lot did I?'' He admitted to the tops of his feet. Emily nodded, that made sense but it also meant that Johnny finally understood the sanctity of their family, what it gave them.

''I know that we're screwed up and that we fight all the time but I like it Em. I like being with you, Gillian and I even like dad even though he shouts at me and gives me a really hard time. I didn't want to leave that; I would miss you too much. I was on my own for so long and now I'm not, I wanted to stay here with you,'' Johnny was very open and Emily couldn't think of an adequate response, words couldn't do her feelings justice.

''We would miss you too little brother,'' she went with simple in the end and Johnny grinned. He bumped her gently with his shoulder.

''But I'm a brat and drive you insane don't I?'' Johnny began to banter with her and she shook her head.

''Don't push it brat, I've been as nice to you today as I have in me. How do you play this thing?'' Emily picked up the discarded controller.

Johnny laughed, plainly she still had some nice in her after all. He decided not to point that out, instead he showed her how to play knowing full well she was going to hate every moment but would do it anyway.

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''You are going to need a therapist,'' Foster said as Cal stroked a caressing finger along the top of her arm.

''I have a therapist and she's right where I like her,'' Cal shifted and pulled her under him. ''In my bed and I am thinking I may keep her here for a while.''

They were now face to face and Cal gave a cocky grin.

'Be serious Cal. You know what I mean,'' She laughed pushing him ineffectually away.

''Can't you do it?'' He showed his vulnerability when it came to psychoanalysis, it was fine for other people, but not for him and his nearest and dearest. He rolled over to her side and placed his cheek on his hand, studying her face. It would have been disconcerting for anyone else but she was used to it.

''New rule, you can't read the kids all the time and you can't do it to me either,'' she told him and Cal shrugged, he hadn't agreed to the new rule she noted ruefully.

''No Cal, I can't do it because I'm coming too,'' she surprised him and that pleased her, it didn't do him any harm to be reminded that he didn't know her as well as he thought. Everyone needed to keep some part of themselves private.

''Oh right, well you know they are going to suggest family therapy don't you?'' Cal watched her face, he was asking a question and his answer would be in her face.

''Yes, I am aware of that,'' Foster raised her eyebrows. Cal laughed and placed an arm around her stomach, pulling her in; he spooned around her and kissed her gently on the cheek.

''Yes Foster, I will marry you. About time you bloody asked,'' he said.

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	35. Chapter 35 Cal and Emily

Thanks for the reviews. I got a nasty one but that's okay. It happens. the main complaint was that there was too much happening but that is the nature of story telling. I make no apologies for the non stop action, I have had to explain this before and don't really want to have to defend myself again.

I know that it's not for everyone and respect their position. Not that I want to discourage people but don't read my fics if you want straight forward or easy, it's not what I do.I do try to stay faithful to my story arc and tie up my loose ends but apparently that's not enough for everyone.

Anyway for those still reading, here you go. Hope you like it, let me know because I need encouragement, despite my brave words, reviews like that put you off carrying on. I am a delicate soul (writers are you know) so feel a little down about this story at the mo.

Laters S x

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'Right, where's that pizza? I'm starving,'' Cal walked into the kitchen and rubbed his hands together with anticipation. Both kids ignored him, fascinated by the post mortem on the procedural show they were watching.

''Nice viewing for dinner time kids,'' Cal cringed at the blood but didn't change channels, the peace and quiet made a nice change.

''Whose is this?'' he held up a full wine glass and Johnny glanced at him, tearing his eyes away from the TV.

''Gillian's, why did you give her wine? She's not allowed wine,'' he pointed out and Cal pulled a face.

''I only had a sip, I know how to look after myself even if your father doesn't,'' Foster wafted in on a wave of contentment and Cal placed a kiss on her cheek.

''Sorry love, forgot. Force of habit, lots of changes, can't keep up with it,'' he said and Foster rolled her eyes.

''Why can't Gill have wine?'' Emily asked with wide eyes and all three of them looked at her as one.

''Didn't you tell her yet? You're in so much trouble,'' Johnny laughed. Foster stood awkwardly looking between father and daughter, convinced her moment of pure happiness was about to be shattered.

''Uuuum Em, I need to speak to you. Gill, take Jono into the other room for me love,'' Cal was flustered and Foster nodded, relieved that she was getting a pass for this one.

''I don't need anyone to take me. I can go by myself you know,'' Johnny grumbled as he stood up.

''Gill,'' Cal's tone was pleading and Foster placed a hurrying hand on the small of the truculent boy's back.

''Can't I stay? This is going to be funny,'' Johnny smirked at Emily who gave him a glare.

''Scarper before I make you,'' Cal barked, all his good intentions in tatters already.

''Alright, no need to get bolshie. Can I take this?'' Johnny held up a pizza.

''Yes, go on,'' Cal flicked his head and Johnny finally left rapidly followed by Foster.

''Dad?'' Emily looked up at him with wide, apprehensive eyes.

''It's alright love. It's good news and I'm sorry that I haven't told you before. It's been mad around here and things were complicated. I thought it was best to wait,'' Cal wasn't so sure that had been the right tactic as hurt passed over Emily's face.

''Why do I get the feeling I'm the last to know something real important?'' Emily sighed and Cal smiled tightly as he sat.

''Em, Gill's pregnant,'' Cal blurted it out in the end and Emily's face drained of colour.

''Pregnant? Who's the father?'' Emily said the first thing that came into her head and her father's face was picture. Emily couldn't help feeling some satisfaction because she felt he had messed Foster around way too much so deserved to feel some discomfort.

''Who do you think Em?'' Cal said, he watched her face and as he saw the smile spread across it, he knew she had been teasing him and he was relieved.

''So dad when are you appearing on Maury?'' Emily deadpanned.

''Funny Em, very funny,'' Cal indulged her although he gulped some wine; he hadn't finished with the earth shattering news yet.

''Quite a record dad, how many kids are you gonna have? Are we all going to have different mothers or are you going to call it quits this time?'' Emily continued with the mocking tone as she pointed out a painful truth, a truth that deeply embarrassed Cal. He had not planned this, his plan had been to have a brood of kids, he'd always wanted a large family, but with one woman and one woman only.

Trouble was it had taken a good twenty years to find that woman, Cal tried to assuage his guilt by telling himself that life never turned out the way anyone planned it at eighteen.

''Actually Em, Gill and me are getting married and you are the first one to know,'' Cal couldn't help saying, it seemed an opportune time.

''Have you told Gill yet?'' Emily asked with twinkling eyes and Cal narrowed his eyes in silent warning but she wasn't bothered.

''So have you?'' She said again.

''You can be a right little cow at times,'' Cal couldn't help but laugh with her.

''What can I say? I am my father's daughter,'' Emily stopped laughing and fixed Cal with a beady eye.

''Is it for keeps dad?'' She asked seriously and Cal found himself blushing as his teenage daughter called him on his moral conduct.

''You are gonna have to behave yourself, stop with all this stuff with mom,'' Emily was now deadly serious. ''Neither Johnny or I can take it falling apart especially if its cos you mess up.''

''Nothing is ever guaranteed Em,'' Cal felt he had to say that.

''I know that dad but if you have the wrong attitude to this then it's doomed to fail isn't it? You have to try harder dad, you just do.'' Emily was lecturing and Cal knew he deserved it but that didn't make it any easier to swallow. He wondered how he had got himself in this position, a position where his daughter had to tell him to do the right thing.

''The thing with your mum is sorted, it was unfinished business but now it's done. Totally finished,'' Cal was able to be adamant on this point. Emily fixed him with suspicious eyes.

''What aren't you saying? Where is mom anyways?'' Emily asked, her face concerned.

''Your mum would be so touched that it took you this long to notice her absence,'' Cal remarked sardonically, he was buying time, unsure how Emily would react to his next revelation.

''I've been kinda busy dad. This family just goes from one crisis to the next. It's kinda wearing dad,'' Emily did indeed sound tired, she sounded worn out by life and that was not the way it should be, certainly not at her tender age. Cal's guilt returned with a vengeance.

''I'm sorry about that darlin', really I am,'' Cal was genuinely apologetic, his remorse was stark.

''It's alright dad, I know it's not all your fault,'' she said and Cal recognised damned praise when he heard it.

''Thanks love,'' Cal smiled crookedly, he was on the back foot and they both knew it, Emily returned his smile nervously. She was only too aware that there was more to come.

''About your mum love,'' Cal leaned forward and took Emily's hand.

''What about her? She's not sick is she?'' Emily sounded alarmed, she pulled her hand away and clutched it to her chest.

''No love, she's fine. Look, you know she's been seeing this Rudi bloke,'' Cal tried to keep the contempt from his voice. Emily laughed sardonically, proving he had failed.

''I,i,'' Emily added for good measure and Cal sniggered.

''Yeah that's the bloke. Well she wants another baby and it's turned out that's not so easy for her,'' Cal paused, giving Emily some time to digest this information. Her expression appeared concerned but there was something else lurking in the background.

''Oh, does she?'' Emily couldn't stop her face finally revealing her anguish at what she saw as rejection, plainly her interpretation of her mother's motives was that she wasn't enough for her.

''It's not cos of you love. If anything its cos she loves you so much and enjoys being a mother. She wants the chance to do it again,'' Cal tried to explain but Emily was young and therefore by definition selfish and self centred. It was how the young were, Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest in all its glory.

''She's not that into it. She's obsessed with her career,'' Emily wrapped her arms around herself and stared sulkily at Cal. She looked so like Johnny and it was a strange moment for Cal who had never noticed any resemblance between the siblings but there it was as obvious as the nose on your face.

''Emily, you know that isn't true,'' Cal defended Zoe, she was a good mother and Emily knew it.

''Yeah right, come on dad. Give me a break, this sudden need to reproduce is cos of Johnny and you know it. She's still locked into this competitive thing with you and I'm done with being in the middle of your shit, totally done,'' Emily pushed back her chair abruptly.

''Em, come on. That isn't true, she only threw herself into her career when you got older,'' Cal found himself defending his ex-wife again.

''Fuck off dad. That's bollocks and for the record it doesn't sound like finished business to me. You can't help yourself can you?'' Emily walked towards the door.

''Emily, pack it in and sit back down right now! I haven't finished taking to you,'' Cal stood up all ready to stop her physically if he had to although he remained in control.

''I'm not Johnny dad, you can't order me around. I'm almost an adult and if I want to be pissed off with my mom then I'm allowed and there's nothing you can do about it,'' Emily stormed from the room before Cal had a chance to move.

''Right so that went well,'' Cal muttered to himself as he drained his glass of wine, he was pouring himself another when he realised that he hadn't told her about Bailey and Marie. He pulled the Valentine's card from his pocket and turned it over in his hand.

He dropped it onto the table, groaned and covered his face with his hands.

XyXyXyXy

''They're fighting,'' Johnny said to Foster who had just jumped as Emily slammed her bedroom door. She didn't need him to tell her that but she suppressed her sharp retort, this wasn't his fault, in fact none of this was down to the children caught in the middle of very adult turmoil.

''Yes, I know,'' Foster felt so miserable. From a utopian high she had plunged to the depths of misery in the space of ten minutes.

''She'll get used to it. She's probably jealous,'' Johnny didn't know what else to say as he registered his surrogate mother's distress, all he understood was that he wanted to remove the hurt expression from her face.

''Jealous?'' Foster looked at him blankly.

''That's what Loker said to me before Christmas, you know when I was so sure that dad liked Em better than me. He said that she was used to all of dad's attention and that she would get used to me being around. He was right, she did. I bet she will this time too,'' Johnny moved over to sit next to her. Foster smiled at the gesture, it was very sweet.

''I don't mind that the baby's gonna be a girl. I'm sorry I was horrible about it,'' Johnny said shyly and Foster felt a lightening of spirit. This was normal family strife, they were a blended family and it was not going to be easy, Foster knew she had to accept that teenage tantrums came with the territory.

''Are you okay now?'' Foster pulled him under her arm and Johnny shrugged, suddenly lost for words.

''What's gonna happen to her Gill?'' he asked softly and Foster considered her answer carefully.

''I don't know honey but she tried to hurt you so she has to be punished for that. You understand don't you?'' Foster replied in a considered way.

''Can't they just leave it? Let me stay with dad and just forget it happened?'' Johnny said into the distance, his eyes were fixed on the TV but Foster could tell by his stiff gait that he was bracing himself for her answer.

''No honey, they can't. I'm sorry,'' Foster kissed the back of his head and Johnny nodded.

''Okay,'' he accepted the inevitable, he slumped back against her and she threaded a protective arm around his chest.

''Are you sure you're okay sweetheart? Do you want to talk about your mom?'' Foster felt compelled to ask.

''Nah, you're alright. I get it, she's ill and she's in trouble. I can't do anything to help her anymore can I?'' Johnny turned to look back at her. His intense azure eyes blazed at her and Foster couldn't resist stroking the golden bangs back out of them.

''No honey, you can't,'' she replied with considerable regret.

''It's okay, I have you now,'' Johnny said flippantly as he turned back to the TV. Foster felt tears gather in her eyes but she held them back. Johnny wouldn't understand that she was crying with joy not pain, she would frighten him and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

''How about we catch a movie? What would you like to watch?'' Foster choked out as she grabbed the remote. Johnny gave her a curious glance but didn't comment.

''Harry Potter, I want to watch Harry Potter,'' he said in a determined voice, his choice very definite.

''Harry Potter huh? Why?'' Foster was curious why it was so important they watched this particular movie.

''It's all pretend and magic. I want made up, real life is bollocks,'' Johnny replied and Foster nodded.

That made sense and the psychologist in her dictated that some alternate reality might just be the right medicine at this precise moment.

Fortuitously, there was a Harry Potter movie on cable and they settled down together to watch it in quiet contentment, happy in each other's company.


	36. Chapter 36 Cal Shares His Pain

What an absolutely amazing lot you all are. I had some very uplifting reviews and am feeling very positive. I had a brainwave as you will see, this fic has some legs in it after all.

Thank you again for taking the time to cheer me up, I really appreciate it.

Laters S X

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Foster felt his eyes on her and she fixed a bright smile on her face before turning to look at him.

''Don't Gill. You are the one person in my life I expect the truth from,'' Cal called her on it as he meandered over to the couch. He looked down at the slumbering boy cuddled into her side. He sighed heavily as he held out a cup of tea.

''I made this for you,'' He said and she took it from him, his eyes were firmly fixed on Johnny, his expression desolate.

''Cal?'' Foster was panicked; Cal appeared despondent, depressed even.

''Sorry, I'm shell shocked. Today has been hard even by our standards,'' Cal dragged his gaze away from Johnny and finally looked at her. ''Although I've gotta say it ended well, very well indeed.''

His eyes glistened and Foster released the breath she had been holding.

''I thought you were having second thoughts,'' she went with the honesty thing, it was easy, Cal had been her partner and soul mate for a long time now.

''You're joking, I've never been so sure of something in my whole life,'' Cal reassured her instantly, he hadn't meant to imply any doubt on his part and moved quickly to dispel her insecurities.

''It's just...' Cal looked away and Foster sat up. He was standing awkwardly in front of the couch, his body stiff with agitation.

''It's what Cal? What's wrong?'' She asked and he looked back at her, his eyes sad and troubled.

''It's not what you think. Emily's happy about us. Her hissy fit was cos of Zoe and this baby thing. Em thinks she isn't good enough, she took it badly. I expected it if I'm honest, Em is used to being at the centre of her mum's universe,'' Cal explained and Foster relaxed. She had been so sure Emily had been upset because of them.

''She's not the only one is she? What's the problem Cal?'' Foster tensed again as the thought occurred to her that Cal might be feeling rejected by Zoe as well.

''Love, I am over her. Totally and completely. It is not that,'' Cal read her and said just what she needed to hear.

''But you're really down, why?'' Foster was still concerned, there was a sub text; she could feel it in the tension reverberating around the room.

''Em's gutted cos of her mum and boyzy is like an injured animal, ready to attack one minute and then licking his wounds the next. It's a lot Gill, that's all, I'm not sure I'm up to it,'' Cal exposed his inner doubt to her and she was dumb struck.

Cal had always been so confident about his children, as if he knew exactly how to deal with any eventuality, it was sobering to realise that was a carefully constructed facade.

''I keep thinking about what you said when I found out about Johnny. You said that I should leave well alone and sometimes I think you were right. Did I really do him such a favour, yanking him from his life and dumping him in mine? Em too, did I do that for them or was it for me? Maybe Zoe was right, maybe I just wanted him cos he was another thing I could control? I dunno, look at them, they're both hurt and suffering. I'm their dad and I should be protecting them. I'm making a right dog's ear of it,'' Cal's conflicts poured out of him and Foster was pole axed, she had never heard him so unsure, not in all the years she had known him.

Strangely, she was also honoured, she knew she was the only person he would reveal this to, it confirmed to her that their decision to put their relationship on a more stable footing was absolutely correct; any lingering doubts were completely dispelled.

''Cal, you are only human. You have done your best and considering all the problems, you've done a great job. Emily is behaving like a typical teenager and Johnny will recover, you know he will. I'm not sure, considering what happened today, whether Johnny would even still be alive if you hadn't removed him from Sophie's care, if you could even call it that,'' Foster reciprocated with mutual openness. She remembered with perfect clarity the stories that Johnny had relayed to her and only now did she realise how vulnerable he had been during those lost years.

''You really believe that don't you?'' Cal commented and Foster nodded.

''Yes Cal, I do,'' she replied with a vigorous nod of the head.

''You know don't you? You know what Sophie tried to make Johnny do?'' Cal asked, although he wasn't sure she did.

''No, what are you talking about?'' Foster sat bolt upright, Cal hadn't moved from his vantage point. He looked down at the sleeping child, his face filled with regret.

''I didn't want this for him. I would have done anything to stop any of my kids suffering the way I did. Anything, it's not fucking right. I paid this family's dues, why should he as well?'' Cal sounded angry now and his raised voice made Johnny stir. Cal placed a comforting hand on his head and he settled instantly.

Foster smiled as she saw her future husband's face fill with love and wonder, he had earned that connection with his son the hard way and it was touching to see his efforts rewarded.

''Cal, what did she do?'' Foster's voice hardened as several unpalatable thoughts occurred to her, her amplified maternal instinct coming to the fore, raging hormones tend to do that.

''I'm not totally sure but I'm going to have to ask him and he is going to have to tell me,'' Cal sounded frightened by that prospect.

''You have some idea though don't you?'' Foster's head was now filled with several different possibilities, none of them pleasant.

''I think she tried to get him to take some of her pills. He didn't but that's not really the point is it?'' Cal crouched down beside Johnny, looking intensely at him.

''He's going to have a scar, she permanently marked him. Every time he looks in the mirror he will remember what she did to him. Nothing I do or say will remove that memory, nothing,'' Cal sounded calm but Foster heard the underlying rage.

''It will fade Cal. He's safe, he's with us and we will never let her near him again. He will learn to live with it and so will we. We'll move on, build a happy family together,'' Foster tried to remind Cal what they had to look forward to.

''Will we?'' he replied flatly.

''Yes Cal, we will. What is it? What has happened that has made you this pessimistic? You love a fight normally, you usually flourish when faced with a problem, '' Foster could see that Cal was feeling possessive; she knew territorialism when she saw it.

She also knew that if Cal could transport his family to some distant place where they would never have to interact with other human beings, he would do it without a second thought. The only comfort she had to hold onto was that she knew that she would be included in the deal, her and the little girl she was carrying.

''She told him I wasn't his father,'' Cal admitted and Foster sensed that this had more to do with Cal than Johnny.

''Well at least you could be clear about that couldn't you?'' Foster tried to see the silver lining but she sensed an underlying suggestion. Cal laid his hand on Johnny's forehead.

''He's hot. I'm gonna get him some medicine,'' Cal stood up, his effort at deflection very transparent.

''Cal, please. Tell me why you're so upset,'' Foster caught his hand as he walked past her. Cal sighed and cringed.

''My mum told me that as well and I don't know to this day if it's true,'' Cal's voice took on a defensive edge.

''Oh,'' Foster was shocked, that was not what she had been expecting.

''I'll be back in a minute,'' Cal tried to pull away but Foster didn't let go.

''You have to find out the truth Cal,'' Foster had an epiphany; this explained Cal's life work, why he had used his considerable intellect to advance the detection of deception.

He was righting a wrong, he believed his entire life was built on a lie and he was attempting to rectify that. Trouble was it was for other people not him, he had to live with the fact that he could never find out the truth. His dead mother had carried that to the grave.

''Why? What difference does it make now? I'm all grown up and it's pathetic that I'm that bothered,'' Cal could have walked away but he didn't. His words revealed much, he was still plagued by this, plainly it ate away at him on a daily basis.

''Oh Cal, you know why,'' Foster was distressed on his behalf.

''Yeah I do but it's too late for me love. It's history. Forget I said anything,'' he pecked her cheek and walked away to fetch the medicine.

XyXyXyXy

''Have you thought about where you might like to get married?'' Foster asked as they watched an old Hitchcock film together. The children were asleep and the house was quiet.

''Where?'' Cal sounded surprised. ''Not really, here I s'pose. I do know that if it could be tomorrow that wouldn't be quick enough,'' Cal's eagerness made her smile.

''Not that I object to the sentiment but I would like some sort of celebration. What I have in mind will take a little longer than a day to arrange,'' Foster laid her head on his shoulder and he placed his arm around her.

''Yeah well, that's your department innit. I didn't know you were so girly,'' Cal teased her and she turned her head, shooting him a glare. She laid her head back down and took a deep breath, it was time to put her plan into action.

''Cal?'' Foster voice was tentative and Cal went on alert.

''Mmmmm,'' he replied , not sure he really wanted to hear this.

''I think we could all do with a vacation,'' Foster suggestion didn't justify his reticence.

''That's not a bad idea. Sandy won't object now, Sophie is in the hospital being assessed so I think we can safely say the custody issue is settled,'' Cal was interested, he favoured the Bahamas, he fancied some sun.

''I have another good idea,'' Foster wasn't sure how he would react but she was still going to say it anyway.

''Do you?'' Cal waited; he didn't need to see her face to know she was plotting.

''I was thinking that London might be nice this time of year,'' Foster felt him tense before she had even finished the sentence.

''No, absolutely not. We are not going to London,'' Cal was quick with his negative response.

Foster knew he would say that and she didn't reply, she fixed her attention back onto the movie.

Cal wasn't fooled for a second, he was aware this conversation was far from over and then he knew that their married life had begun with a vengence. He was very aware what that meant and how this dispute would eventually be resolved.

He sighed as he wondered what the dollar was worth against the pound these days.

XyXyXyXy

I'm taking you all on a trip, going to show you around my home town. Hope you've got your passports!

S X


	37. Chapter 37 Home

So big apologies all round. Been so busy, it's been insane and FF just hasn't got a look in, real life and all that. Thanks for the reviews, I have some very loyal readers so thank you. There are some encouraging messages regarding LTM being renewed so cross your fingers and toes, it might just happen.

Here's hoping.

Enjoy, hope the dialect doesn't confuse too much but for realisms sake, it is necessary.

Review, need some encouragement cos as you might remember I'm needy.

Laters.

XyXyXyXyXy

''So we're staying in Greenwich right?'' Johnny checked again as he pulled his case from the baggage carousel and Cal ignored him, he'd answered that question a hundred times already and he had no intention of answering it again.

''Jono, you're being irritating,'' Emily smiled at Cal who rolled his eyes, as if he didn't know that.

''Em, you do know that you're the stranger in a strange land don't you? Everyone's gonna stare at you when you open your mouth, for once they aren't gonna stare at me as if I'm speaking alien,'' Johnny exclaimed with glee, his declaration revealed much and Cal glanced at Gillian.

''Johnny, please stop getting in the way,' Gillian threw her arms up in despair as Johnny bounced in front of her. Cal didn't know how to react to his son's delight, Johnny was obviously thrilled to be back in the UK and Cal couldn't help feeling rejected.

In truth, Johnny's English accent didn't arouse much interest in D.C, it was a cosmopolitan city but Johnny clearly felt an outsider there. Cal hadn't experienced that emotion for a long time and he struggled to feel any empathy for his son's point of view.

''Jono, go sit, go on,'' Cal pointed to a nearby bench and Johnny grinned at him as he darted away.

''Don't take it personally dad. He feels comfortable here that's all,'' Emily reassured her father as he looked over at his over excited son.

''Let me love,'' Cal took Foster's luggage off the carousel and loaded it onto the trolley.

''You okay love? You look knackered,'' Cal tucked some stray hairs behind Foster's ear, placing a concerned hand on her cheek; he stroked tender circles with his thumb.

''Yeah I'm beat,'' Foster didn't argue, she was exhausted.

''We'll grab some room service and hit the hay. We're all gonna be jet lagged,'' Cal finally removed his hand much to Foster's relief, her legs had started to wobble and Cal's grin told her he knew that all too well.

''Do yer think?''' Emily laughed; she stared pointedly at her brother who was jumping from foot to foot impatiently watching them with excited anticipation.

''He will do as he's told,'' Cal said firmly and Foster had to suppress a giggle.

''Yeah sure he will dad,'' Emily linked arms with Cal as he pushed the trolley towards his impatient son.

XyXyXyXyXy

''Can I call my mates when we've checked in?'' Johnny asked as he climbed from the cab. Cal followed him shaking his head as he did.

''No son, you can't. We've had a long journey, we need some food and then a nap. You can call your mates tomorrow,'' Cal sounded patient but Foster knew better. He was upset and irritated by Johnny's attitude but he was hiding it as best as he could.

''That's not fair dad. I want to see my friends, I've missed them especially Jack,'' Johnny challenged his father but Cal again reacted maturely, he opened the car door for Emily and blanked Johnny. Admittedly, he had to suppress the urge to shout, if he heard the name 'Jack' one more time, he might not be able to control himself.

Foster smiled as a bus boy took her luggage.

''Wow, '' Foster looked at the Royal Naval College and exclaimed her wonder, it was beautiful. She turned to look towards the park where she could see the Royal Observatory sitting on the summit of the hill. It was like a snap shot into the past, time had stood still in this part of the world and for a brief second, Foster was transfixed.

''It's safe innit?'' Johnny grinned, his pride in his home town evident.

''That's where Greenwich Mean Time comes from; you can stand with a foot on either side of the meridian. The view is sweet, you can see right across London. It's my favourite place, you can roll all the way down the hill, its laughs,'' Johnny enthused even more and he sounded more carefree than he had in quite a while. His accent had broadened and the American twang was barely perceptible. Foster smiled indulgently, but one look at Cal's face soon removed her smile.

''Yeah and that way's Deptford and New Cross, there you can meet some right characters, might even get your head kicked in if you're really lucky, '' Cal remarked caustically and Johnny reddened, narrowing his eyes at his father.

''You're being a right pillock dad, I happen to like where I come from. Unlike some people,'' Johnny turned and walked abruptly into the hotel.

Emily tutted and Foster sighed heavily. Cal had been very negative about this whole trip and Johnny had become very defensive as a result. Father and son had polarised their positions and it had become wearing for those around them. Cal had not been brave enough to broach what had transpired between mother and son; he spoke constantly to Gillian about his concerns but remained reluctant to confront the issue. They had gained special permission to take a vacation, Sophie was on a 28 day assessment so it gave them some breathing space but the moment would come eventually.

Cal and the police needed to know what had happened in that hotel room and Johnny was going to have to tell them, whether he liked it or not. They had a stay of execution and Foster was determined they would heal and unify on this trip before they had to face that inevitability. They had to fortify their defences before they returned to the U.S to face the music.

''Cal, please try and pretend to enjoy yourself. Emily and I want to sight see, have a good time, you are making that very difficult. Please Cal, just try alright? This is not just about you,'' Foster was more confrontational than she normally was but Cal was behaving like a child and she had had just about enough of it.

Cal glanced over at Emily who stared stonily back at him.

''The bloody traffic never gets better here. You'd think they'd sort the traffic out,'' Cal didn't concede an inch, instead he grumbled to himself as he followed Johnny into the hotel.

Emily and Foster exchanged looks and Foster laughed.

''I don't think he's listening,'' Emily remarked regretfully.

''No, I'll have to try harder won't I?'' Foster lifted her hand and Emily linked arms with her, then they walked into their home for the next two weeks.

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Cal rolled over and looked down at Foster who was sleeping peacefully, her face in complete repose.

Cal smiled as he watched her, for once she appeared totally relaxed and she looked younger, it was a glimpse into her past and Cal was happy to leave her be for now. He was enjoying the view.

He watched awhile and then sighed; he leaned over and kissed her gently on an exposed shoulder blade.

''I love you Gillian Foster and I love that you are carrying our child,'' He whispered a sentiment he would find impossible to admit to an awake Foster. He acknowledged to himself that he needed to work on his commitment issues as he got up from the wide, comfortable bed. He stretched luxuriantly, he was rested and it was an unfamiliar sensation, maybe this break was what he needed after all?

He revised that thought rapidly as he regarded the empty bed that his son was supposed to be sleeping in.

''Oh great, here we fucking go,'' he muttered as he went to get dressed.

XyXyXyxyxy

Johnny crossed a perfect ball to Jack who nodded it effortlessly between the two jackets that were serving as goal posts.

Alfie threw himself across the goal, missed the ball completely and landed in an undignified heap.

Johnny collapsed into uncontrolled laughter as Jack performed a celebratory dance just to goad a grumpy looking Alfie.

''You are a rank goalie Alf, total rubbish,'' Johnny piled on the agony as the other team started to argue and bicker amongst themselves.

''Alfie, get a grip mate. That was crap,'' Louis snarled as he sprinted away to retrieve the football that was in danger of bouncing into the boating lake.

''So how long you staying then?'' Jack fell down next to Johnny who was sitting watching Louis and several cronies staring at the now floating ball.

''Not long enough, two weeks,'' Johnny answered in a disgruntled tone.

''So you've got a dad now then?'' Jack asked, he was curious, he'd never met his father and wondered what it felt like for one to materialise just like that.

''Yeah,'' Johnny didn't elaborate, he was relishing being home and fitting in once more but he shied away from the conflict of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him.

''So how's yer mum then?'' Jack was nervous about asking but did it anyway. Jack had supported Johnny through the worst of Sophie's illness and the understanding was unspoken. Jack's home had provided Johnny with sanctuary on more than one occasion, despite their past Johnny was unable or unwilling to reveal the full extent of Sophie's descent into torment, it just hurt too much.

Johnny didn't answer him; instead he lay back on the grass and gazed up at the soft fluffy clouds floating across a perfect blue sky.

''What happened to your eye?'' Jack asked although he had seen Johnny sporting unexplained injuries many times in the past. Johnny's memory of his life with his mother conveniently left out those details but it was hard to hide from Jack, who was the one person who knew the full truth.

However Johnny persisted to do just that, emotionally hiding away from the truth, he just wasn't ready yet.

''Johnny,'' Jack asked again when his friend remained uncommunicative. After a prolonged silence, Jack got the message and stared across towards the Dreadnought Seamen's Hospital that was now part of the university.

''It's nice here,'' Johnny sat up, he felt a peace descend, a calm that had eluded him for many months.

''It's just the park,'' Jack couldn't see what was so special but Johnny could, distance had definitely made the heart grow fonder.

''It's more than just a park Jack, you know that right? Henry the Eighth was born here, he came from Greenwich just like us. That's pretty special,'' Johnny sniggered as Louis gave Alfie a shove, the luckless goalie just about stopped himself from crashing into the water.

''I s'pose,'' Jack shrugged, he had no idea really but Johnny was viewing his former playground with different eyes.

''Let's go to the market, I like the market. Get some food,'' Johnny stood up and held his hand out; Jack grabbed it and was soon on his feet.

''Shall we tell the others?'' Jack asked but he knew the answer.

''Nah, let's go on our own,'' Johnny was suddenly melancholy and it was amazing how the bond between these two boys, who had grown up together, was still solid despite their time apart.

''You wanna take a boat ride?'' Johnny asked casually as they made their way down to the gates which led down to the ancient market place.

''What down to the South Bank?'' Jack was familiar with this idea, it was something the boys enjoyed when they were younger, taking the river boat down to the Southbank so they could skate in relative peace.

''I don't have a deck,'' Johnny realised as an afterthought. They walked down to the crossroads, the fire damaged Cutty Sark in the distance, it was shrouded in covers, it was a forlorn sight and Johnny felt sadness creeping back in. He glanced at the cloisters in the nearby Naval College and that just deepened his sadness, he had spent many happy hours there with his mother when he was small.

''We'll go to my house first. I haven't got mine either and you can borrow Frankie's,'' Jack was attuned to Johnny's mood and met him halfway.

''Will he mind?'' Johnny checked although he knew Jack's older brother was accommodating.

''Nah, he's all loved up with Becks, he won't even notice. Me mum would be stoked anyway. She's been dead worried about you,'' Jack reassured him.

''I'd like to see your mum. Is she making Sunday dinner?'' Johnny licked his lips.

''Yeah but I thought we were going skating,'' Jack laughed although he was glad to see Johnny's expression lighten.

''Oh yeah,'' Johnny looked disappointed.

''She'll keep us some; she'll do anything for you. Even make you her Yorkshires,'' Jack wanted to make Johnny happy, he appeared sad and small, it wasn't the boy Jack remembered and he wanted his old friend back.

''Sounds like a plan,'' Johnny grinned, he needed some space and losing himself in London sounded like the perfect medicine, coming home to a full Sunday dinner was icing on the cake. Maybe he could stay the night like he had in the past?

''It's sorted then,'' Jack glimpsed the boy he knew and it gave him heart.

''You still wanna go to the market?'' Jack was happy to accommodate Johnny's every wish; just as any best friend should when his mate was hurting.

''Yeah, fancy some chocolate strawberries and nanas, it won't take long,'' Johnny felt much better all of a sudden.

''We need to get a move on, so we get some time to skate,'' Jack cuffed the back of Johnny's head as the green man blinked and took off across the busy road, his friend dashed after him screaming vengence as he went.

XyXyXyXy

''Where are you going dad,'' Emily appeared wiping the sleep from her eyes.

Cal looked up guiltily as he pulled on his shoes.

''Nowhere Em, just need some air,'' he replied as casually as he could, he didn't want to involve her in anymore of her brother's dramas, she had put up with enough of those already!

''Yeah right, whatever,'' Emily didn't believe him for a second.

Cal smiled tightly and the he stopped, he couldn't ignore it, the signs of distress were clearly drawn on his daughter's face.

''Em, what's the matter?'' Cal went to her as she fell down onto the couch which stood in the communal part of their suite.

''Nothing,'' Emily curled herself into a ball, her body directly contradicting her words.

''Come on love, tell me what's wrong,'' Cal sat next to her and touched her gently on the arm. Emily uncurled herself and snuggled into his side, he placed a protective arm around her.

''It was yesterday,'' She said softly and Cal nodded.

''Yeah, I know,'' his hushed tone as gentle as he could make it.

''I didn't really get to say a proper good bye,'' Emily began to cry quietly and Cal cringed as her pain cut deep into his soul. His role was to protect her from this but in the end he had proved powerless.

The price of loving so completely was the risk that you might suffer the agonising sense of loss that Emily was currently enduring. It was one of the reasons that Cal had built a wall around himself for so long and here he was trying to lessen the pain of the one person he would have gone to the ends of the earth to ensure she was never that exposed.

In that moment, as Cal held his grieving and hurt child, he had to admit to himself that maybe he couldn't protect his children to that extent and that perhaps he shouldn't want to.

In the end, the pain intensified the love; the trouble was you couldn't guarantee the love would ever actually turn up and more importantly stay forever.


	38. Chapter 38 A Good Boy Who Wouldn't Lie

Thanks for the reviews. I know, uodating again already fter such a long break, amazing isn't it? Got my writing head back on.

Enjoy and tell me what you think.

Just found out Fox renewed Fringe which I dislike intensely, so that's it for LTM. It's also me done with Fox, stopped watching Bones. They killed it here in the UK, Sky moved it to

another channel and I keep forgetting to watch it and now I haven't for a while, so I've lost interest.

So that's me finished with the Fox network, it's a waste of time watching their shows, they make asinine decisions all the time, they're idiots.

I saw that ' Raising Hope' was Fox so didn't watch it on principle, they'll cancel that soon enough so why bother, it's what they do.

Obviously there's some Fox exec with a Sci Fi geek for a son, that can be the only reason for renewing Fringe, pile of crap!

I am depressed and going to have a glass of wine.

Laters S X

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''Em, I have to go,'' Cal kissed the top of his now quiet daughter's head.

''Yeah, I know you do. Where do you think he is?'' Emily knew the situation without being told.

''Not sure but I'll take a look around,'' Cal rose careful to lay Emily gently back onto the sofa.

''You know dad, maybe you should just leave him? This is his home, he's safe here, he'll come back eventually,'' Emily suggested tentatively.

Cal stopped and looked at her, a frown settling on his face but she could see he was considering her suggestion.

''He's only twelve Em,'' Cal answered her after the longest of pauses.

''He needs some space dad, he can't breathe,'' Emily said it anyway, more than aware that it wasn't what Cal wanted to hear.

Cal didn't move as he looked at her, she raised her eyebrows at him and she saw the annoyance drain from him.

''Yeah, I guess he does,'' Cal took off his coat and hung it back up.

'' Well done, I'm proud of you,'' Emily teased him and Cal reddened as he pulled off his shoes.

''Yeah thanks Em, I'm touched. I'm not sure if the long journey has scrambled my brains but I'm going to go with your idea, so I'm going back to bed,'' Cal wandered back towards the bedroom, looking forward to snuggling up to the warm, sexy woman that he could now legitimately claim as his own.

''You're welcome by the way,'' Emily called after his retreating back and Cal waved back an acknowledgement.

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''Oh love, you are a sight for sore eyes,'' Jack's mother Alison embraced him and he clung onto her, it was so familiar, this home with its constant noise and the larger than life woman at the centre of the chaos who held her loving family together. A family that welcomed waifs and strays, a fact that had rescued Johnny many times in the past. Johnny was finally home and he relished the peace and security that he found there.

''I'm alright,'' Johnny pulled away from her but she kept hold, not letting him get away from her.

''What's this?'' She touched the wound on his eye gently.

''The bogeyman,'' Johnny smiled and Alison nodded.

'' Man?'' Alison asked and Johnny shrugged. Alison understood, he didn't have to explain and he was glad, he was tired of explaining.

''Where is she love?'' Alison finally let him go and he stepped back, his face filled with shame.

''Prison, she's in a prison hospital in America,'' He replied, his voice gruff and thick with unwanted tears.

''Right, how long this time? Are the Yanks as soft as us lot?'' Alison's voice held no sympathy, that had been spent a long time ago. She had lost faith with the system as far as this little boy was concerned; it had failed him more times that she could count.

She smiled at Jack's troubled face and raised a comforting arm which he slipped under.

''A long time, a very long time,'' Johnny admitted, his face burning.

''You wanna talk about it,'' Alison dipped her head to look him in the eye and he shook his head.

''When you're ready love, when you're ready. So you boys want some dinner when you get back then?'' Alison took in the skateboards lying waiting by the front door.

''Yeah please,'' Johnny's head shot up and he nodded enthusiastically.

''It will be waiting; I'll make some extra Yorkshires. I know you like them,'' Alison gave the nod, they could leave but there were some parameters.

''Phone on, home by six Jackie, don't forget,'' Alison's soft tone covered the fact that she ruled with an iron fist and both boys knew better than to disobey her.

''I know mum,'' Jack rolled his eyes at Johnny who laughed.

''Watch it, no cheek. Just do as you've been told and we'll all be happy,'' Alison was on it immediately and Jack blushed, Johnny watched, envy shining on his face.

''Sorry mum, we won't be late, promise,'' Jack mumbled as he gathered his deck and flicked his head towards the door.

''Let's get out of here before she changes her mind,'' He urged Johnny who followed him after giving Alison a final wave.

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Foster stirred and found she was unable to move, she wriggled and then realised Cal's arm was wrapped tightly wrapped around her waist as if he was afraid she would escape. She smiled although in her heart, his insecurity bothered her and she made a note to call Torres as soon as she got the chance, they needed to get started as soon as possible.

''What are you plotting?'' Cal's voice made her jump and as she looked at him, he popped an eye open regarding her speculatively.

''Nothing,'' she replied weakly.

''Yeah right, do I look stupid?'' Cal retorted immediately and Foster suppressed a laugh.

''You don't really expect me to answer that do you?'' She replied, she couldn't resist and before she knew it, he flipped her over and was lying on top, their noses almost touching.

''Whatever it is Foster, I am pretty sure I'm not going to like it,'' He growled.

''You know Cal, Paranoia is not an attractive trait. Have you seen a therapist about that?'' Foster quipped and Cal gave her a knowing grin.

''So for that you are going to have to pay,'' Cal took her breath away with a playful nip on the neck.

She squealed and tried to push him away.

''Oh no, there is no escape. I've got you now,'' Cal stopped her protest with a deep, indulgent kiss.

By the time she came up for air, her resistance was replaced by reciprocal lust.

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''Nothing has changed, it's all exactly the same,'' Johnny slid down the wall and sat beside Jack.

''Yeah I know. Dead boring innit?'' Jack grumbled as he sucked on his McFlurry.

''Nah, it's good. Shall we walk down to the IMAX and go to the station that way?'' Johnny was aware that they had to leave but he wanted to take in the sights, the familiar sights he knew like the back of his hand but reminded him he was home where he felt he belonged.

''Yeah, alright,'' Jack stood; he liked the walk by the river himself.

'' Big Ben looks clean did they clean it?'' Johnny was overcome with wonder; he'd forgotten the city of his birth was this breathtaking.

''Dunno, looks the same to me,'' Jack was less impressed but there had been a time that Johnny had been as complacent, he took nothing for granted these days.

''We'll skate but look out for coppers, they'll be aggro if they spot us, '' Jack jumped his deck just as Johnny's phone began to ring.

It was on just as Alison had dictated and as Johnny looked down at the Caller ID guilt flowed across his face.

''Who is it?'' Jack turned around, curiosity bringing him back to his friend's side.

''It's my mom,'' Johnny mumbled, Jack looked at him askance.

''Not my mum, my mom,'' Johnny corrected that assumption immediately.

''Who?'' Jack was none the wiser; Johnny hadn't shared that particular acquisition.

''I have a mom, she's my step mother,'' Johnny explained but he still didn't answer as he was unsure what he would say.

''Sooooo,'' Jack gestured towards the phone and Johnny cringed.

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''You did what?'' Foster looked at her soon to be husband in disbelief.

''I left him be, I think he needs some time,'' Cal replied, he shifted uncomfortably under the glare of disapproval that Foster shot at him.

''Let me clarify, our twelve year old son disappeared in a strange, foreign city and you left it that way for most of the day? You made no effort to find him is that right?'' Foster was incredulous, where had the suffocating, over protective father that she knew and loved gone to? He appeared to have been replaced by an irresponsible fool.

''It's not a strange, foreign city to him,'' Emily intervened, not something she usually did but she broke her cardinal rule as her father appeared unwilling to fight back.

''He's twelve Emily, twelve! He is too young to wander around any city alone, even one he knows well,'' Foster was sharp and Emily glanced regretfully at Cal, she felt responsible for his predicament but she could see Foster's point.

''My choice Em, not yours,'' Cal read her face and moved to remove that thought immediately.

''Did you even call him?'' Foster asked and both father and daughter blushed their answer.

''He wouldn't answer,'' Cal justified his decision and he felt stupid as he said it.

''Oh for God's sake!'' Foster dialled her cell and waited patiently for the answer she knew would come.

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''Hello,'' Johnny answered nervously as Jack watched him, his face puzzled.

''Johnny, where are you? What are you thinking?'' Foster wasted no time ripping into him.

''I'm okay, I'm with Jack,'' Johnny answered meekly and Jack's eyes grew wide, Johnny didn't really do meek.

''Well that's fine then,'' Foster said sarcastically. Cal was still getting over the fact that Johnny had answered his cell so let her handle it her way.

''Really,'' Johnny wasn't sure how to take that.

''No Johnny, not really. I have no idea who Jack is so I'm not reassured that you are with him. You need to get back here now,'' Foster was harsh and firm.

''I'm miles away, it's gonna take a while cos we have to get the train. Then I've got to have dinner, Alison's made me Yorkshire puddings cos I like them. So I won't be back for ages,'' Johnny did not read Foster's mood at all.

''I don't care about any of that. You went out without permission and you are definitely not going around some stranger's house to eat. You will come back here as quickly as you can,'' Foster was raging.

Johnny fell silent, and then took a deep breath.

''You're not my mother and you can't tell me what to do. I will come back when I feel like it,'' Johnny turned the phone off without waiting for a reply.

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''This is good, I like this place,'' Cal looked around the Tapas restaurant. He had spent an hour persuading her to walk twenty yards to a nearby restaurant for dinner but the atmosphere was very tense.

''This white bait is mind blowing. I thought food was crap in Britain,'' Emily tried to help Cal.

''This is Spanish Em,'' Cal pointed out caustically and Emily smirked at him, poking her tongue out at him.

Foster remained stiff and silent, she was still smarting from Johnny's smack down. She had tried reasoning with herself. She understood that this is what happened in step relationships within blended families but when it happened to you, even if you understood why, it still hurt like hell.

''Love, eat something. For the baby's sake, eat something,'' Cal put his hand over hers and she gave him a watery smile before placing a small forkful of food in her mouth. She chewed as if it were cardboard and swallowed with difficulty.

''I don't want to be too long. You can see the hotel entrance can't you? You are watching aren't you?'' Foster was distraught and she was not hiding it well.

''Yes love, I can see,'' Cal reassured her, he blew out a heavy sigh, he had a feeling this was going to be a long night.

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''So your dad knows where you are and he doesn't mind if you stay over?'' Alison checked again and Johnny nodded, his mouth stuffed with roast potatoes and roast beef.

Jack kept his eyes fixed on his plate, his mother would see the deceit in his eyes and he didn't want to let Johnny down by exposing his lie.

''Are you sure?'' Alison was fretting and Johnny swallowed his food quickly.

''Do you wanna call him?'' He pretended to fumble for his phone in his pocket, it was a gamble but he took it anyway. He knew Alison well and was pretty sure how she would react.

''No, it's fine. I believe you, I know you're a good boy and wouldn't lie to me,'' Alison backed down from speaking to a strange man on the phone; she was intimidated by the idea. Her past experience of men was not good and she avoided them if she could, the only males she tolerated on a regular basis were her own sons. She was content on her own as a single mother, she had a job she enjoyed and a fulfilling life, she didn't need a man, she was happy as she was .

Suddenly, Johnny didn't feel so hungry. He dropped his knife and fork as Alison's words of trust echoed in his ears.

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	39. Chapter 39 A Heart to Heart

Thanks for the reviews, hits are low but you are all faithful reviewers so many thanks. This fic is going to change direction after this chapter and become more action packed, the focus will fall more on Cal himself rather than his relationship with Johnny, hope you don't mind. Doesn't mean the others won't feature, they will feature heavily especially Gillian.

Review, let me know what you think.

Laters S X

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Johnny went back to the hotel early, he'd hardly slept anyway. He knew that his parents would be freaking out, and he had lied to Alison, he felt very guilty about all of the adults in his life.

He hadn't treated any of them fairly, it further confirmed his belief that he was nothing but trouble to anybody stupid enough to love him.

Johnny stood in the foyer of their hotel, it hadn't occurred to him that everyone would be asleep and now he was in a tricky position.

''Excuse me, could I call my parents' room please?'' Johnny exhibited the backbone that Cal so admired in him as he spoke to the single member of staff on duty. He didn't want to wake Foster so he would call his dad and face the consequences.

The night receptionist nodded, he'd been on duty when they had checked in the previous day, he pushed a phone across the counter and Johnny picked it up nervously. It rang twice before Cal answered.

''Hello,'' he sounded drowsy but Johnny wasn't fooled, he'd answered way too quickly. Cal had been waiting up and Johnny gulped painfully before he spoke.

''Dad,'' he managed to utter, his voice let him down and cracked, he cringed as he realised he sounded needy and nervous.

''Where are you son?'' Cal was calm and it confused Johnny who paused.

''I'm not angry; just tell me where you are. I will come and get you,'' Cal reassured him and inexplicably, tears sprang into Johnny's eyes. He didn't deserve understanding, Johnny wasn't sure what he deserved but he suspected his father would have a good idea.

''I'm downstairs,'' Johnny whispered.

''Two minutes, I'll be down in two minutes,'' Cal rang off immediately and Johnny hung up with a heavy heart.

''Johnny, are you alright?'' Suddenly Cal was there and before Johnny could react, he found himself engulfed in a warm, safe hug.

Johnny clung on, his confused emotions overwhelming, coming home had reawakened his demons and now he had experienced an alternative to the chaos of his former life, he was desperate not to have return to that life. He didn't want to lose what he had now and somewhere in the confusion, he realised that his actions in the last twenty four hours were a childish attempt to test that new life. He was pretty sure he'd blown it and this was goodbye.

''You and me should take a walk. We'll go by the river, it's nice at this time of the day,'' Cal suggested and Johnny nodded, without raising his face. So his dad was going to abandon him whilst looking at a pretty view.

They walked in silence for a while, Johnny dragging his feet miserably next to Cal. Eventually, Cal stopped and looked across the river, he leaned his elbows on the barrier and sighed.

Johnny stood uncertainly beside him, searching for some words that would somehow explain but he came up wanting, nothing felt adequate.

''That's the Isle of Dogs over there, it's a lot different from here and there's what, half a mile between them, might as well be a million times that? It couldn't be more different, different world really, '' Cal turned back towards Greenwich, a place where only very wealthy people could afford the Edwardian and Victorian houses that lined the streets.

''This is your world though innit? This is what you know, where you come from?'' Cal gestured towards those expensive houses. Johnny nodded, not sure what point Cal was making.

''Doesn't make you happy though does it? Living in a flash house, having plenty of money, going to a posh school. It takes more than just stuff for kids to be happy, '' Cal looked at him then and Johnny pulled a regretful face, he couldn't argue with that.

''Jono son, me and you, we're the same we are. Yeah, you grew up with all this and I came from a place just like that,'' Cal pointed towards the council estate over the water.

''Where we grew up may have been the total opposite but how we grew up was the same,'' Cal paused as he watched Johnny struggle to understand his subtle implication. It saddened Cal to admit it but he knew it was true, although it meant he was in a perfect position to help his son with his turmoil.

''I know what it feels like son. I know what it's like to live with constant fear, to pray for help, and be left to get on with it. I know son and I remember like it was yesterday, it was...'' Cal's voice cracked and he turned abruptly away, stroking his hand over his chin as he tried to gain some control.

''I don't trust it,'' Johnny said suddenly and Cal glanced at him. Johnny reddened and exhaled; the air caught in his chest and came out in hitching bursts as he tried not to cry.

''Trust it or me?'' Cal asked, he appeared calm but Johnny read his distress straight off, guilt bit again.

''No, you don't get it. I trust you, I trust all of you. I just don't trust... well you know...it, life, shit happens dunnit?'' Johnny knew he was making a bad job of explaining himself.

''You don't think you deserve your life with me do you?'' Cal hit the nail on the head.

''I...'' Johnny looked at the ground and drew a circle with his toe in the dust.

''What the story here Jono? You reckon you play up enough that I'll leave you here to rot in some foster home where you think you belong? That I'll be like your mum, '' Cal became very brusque and Johnny stepped away from him.

''Don't get angry,'' he whispered and Cal bit his lip, he was being too full on.

''I won't do that son, you say you trust me but you don't really cos up here,'' Cal tapped Johnny's head,'' up here, you still doubt that I love you. That's why you make me prove it all the time.''

''I don't know, I don't get what I do, I just do it,'' Johnny admitted unhappily. Cal watched the misery etched on his son's face and he recognised it, he used to see that look in the mirror all the time when he wasn't much older than Johnny.

''Jono son, the bogey man is not going to come along to steal your life from you, steal me from you,'' Cal said, he raised his voice slightly and Johnny looked up at him, his eyes hard.

''It happened before, why can't it happen again? The bogeyman took my mum away from me,'' Johnny gave a sad smile and Cal returned it.

''You definitely have a point but you are missing one big difference this time,'' Cal raised his eyebrows, his eyes glinting. Johnny was puzzled and he frowned.

''What am I missing dad?'' Johnny asked and Cal grinned at him.

''Ah, there it is, that three letter word, the little one you said right there at the end,'' Cal was triumphant.

''You mean dad?'' Johnny smiled then, a sweet beguiling smile because despite the passage of time, whenever he called Cal dad, he did it with a sense of disbelief and wonder.

''Your dad's around this time and luckily for you, you've got a good one. He's one stubborn git who just won't piss off however many times you tell him to. Just ask Em, always there, always asking questions, always in your face, interfering. It's not happening Jono, I won't let it. You can relax, no one's coming to take you away and even if they did, your dad wouldn't let them and in the very unlikely event they got past him, they'd still have Foster to contend with, oh and Em. Probably Loker and Torres too, oh and then there's Reynolds. How many families do you know who have their very own FBI agents?'' Cal took a breath and Johnny rolled his eyes.

''Talking about yourself in the third person dad, first sign of madness you know,'' Johnny giggled and Cal pulled a funny face which made Johnny giggle even more. Cal pulled Johnny under his arm and ruffled his hair. He kissed his head and Johnny went still.

''I love you dad,'' he said solemnly and Cal nodded.

''And like I've just been telling you for the last ten minutes, I love you too. Glad I wasn't wasting me bleeding breath,'' Cal reciprocated immediately.

''Alright dad, I get it. You're gonna look after me and I have to trust you,'' Johnny confirmed he had been listening, there was a trace of belief in his eyes but Cal was realistic enough to know one five minute chat wasn't going to fix the last twelve years. However, it was a start.

''True although that is a hard thing to do when you disappear for hours on end innit?'' Cal finally got to what Johnny had expected all along. His dad was going to tell him off but rather than protesting, Johnny accepted it, after all Cal was only confirming that he did, indeed, love him.

''Sorry,'' Johnny said automatically, it wasn't dreadfully sincere but Cal wasn't inclined to expect it to be. Johnny was after all a twelve year old boy and being remorseful wasn't often in their remit if ever!

''Touching, although some advice son,'' Cal took Johnny's hand and the boy looked about to protest, he didn't when Cal glared at him. They began to walk back towards the Cutty Sark.

''When you say sorry to yer mum try and sound like you mean it, just a teensy, weensy bit,'' Cal smirked.

Johnny stopped walking abruptly.

''I forgot about her,'' Johnny began to panic and he looked mournfully at Cal with his best pleading eyes.

''Not a chance son, I am not doing it for you. That particular task is most definitely yours and yours alone,'' Cal laughed, he pulled on Johnny's hand but the boy stubbornly refused to move.

''But you just said,'' Johnny whined this time.

''Jono, don't take the piss, there's a good boy,'' Cal took the opportunity to deliver one hard smack to Johnny's bottom, it was just some gentle, or not so gentle in the recipient's opinion, encouragement to make him walk or at least that's how Cal justified it to himself.

''Ow dad! That's not fair, you said you weren't angry,'' Johnny was outraged but he did start walking again.

''I'm not, but come on son, reality check, you've been gone all night,'' Cal reminded him that he had behaved badly. Cal decided that it was time he stopped feeling bad every time he disciplined Johnny, he was not his own father and he had to stop worrying that he was. Then Cal realised that there was really only one way he would ever be free of that worry, he couldn't avoid the issue anymore. For his own sake, for his childrens' sakes, it was time that he found out the truth, it was after all his speciality and Cal finally admitted to himself, he had known all along that he would use this trip for that purpose, it was why he had agreed to come.

''Yeah, I s'pose,'' Johnny agreed begrudgingly.

''I'm hungry, you hungry? I fancy a fry up I do, an English fry up, bangers, beans, black pudding, the lot,'' Cal sounded decidedly upbeat, he felt more content and settled than he had in a while.

Johnny declined to reply as he was too busy constructing how he was going to explain himself to Foster.


	40. Chapter 40 An Old Friend

Thanks for the reviews, encouraging as always. Numbers have dropped but that's not surprising as the show is on it's knees. I am sad but resigned to the inevitable.

It is unlikely that we will ever learn Cal's true story now so I am filling in the gap. I have created a back story for him and I hope it does this great character justice.

I am not sure if I have got details wrong, did we ever learn Cal's dad's name? I couldn't recall but if anyone knows let me know so I can rectify that mistake. Plus, I am assuming his full name is Callum. I am aware that in the US most would assume it was Caleb but that is an unusual name here, Callum is Scottish so considering his mother's heritage is more likely in my opinion.

Plus it is well used in the UK and Ireland.

Warning, this is a long chapter with a lot of details, hope you enjoy it or even if you don't, let me know.

Laters S X

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''Can't I wait here? I'll sit over there and I promise I won't move, honest I won't,'' Johnny had failed to come up with anything that even remotely made amends for his actions and worse his hurtful words. They were standing in the hotel foyer and he started to panic.

''Jono, why are you avoiding Foster to this extent? She's used to your disappearing acts,'' Cal's words told Johnny that he was unaware how nasty Johnny had been to Foster the previous evening.

Johnny gulped, he was pretty sure that Cal would take a dim view, a very dim view indeed.

''Oi! Oi! What was that?'' Cal gestured with his hand and Johnny stared dumbly at him.

''Wwwwhat?'' he managed to finally stutter when it was clear that Cal was going to wait as long as it took for a reply.

''That's an interesting expression, a curious mixture of resentment and guilt, and the gulp tells me you're afraid to tell me what put it there,'' Cal made a circular gesture with his hand as he mulled over what the boy might have done, he had seen the intense hurt on Foster's face after the phone conversation so knew it was connected to that.

He wasn't stupid, Johnny must have said something very unpleasant to her, not that she would discuss it, no, she had waved his enquiries to one side and he had allowed her to. She had been too upset for him to apply the pressure that was required for her to betray her blue eyed boy.

''No, I'm not,'' Johnny knew his dad didn't buy it, not for a second.

''That's a lie that is,'' Cal proclaimed giving his characteristic lean as he did, Johnny subconsciously stepped away. Cal saw him and raised his eyebrows.

''And you reckon the truth will piss me off enough that I'll wallop you if you're too close when you tell me. Am I right?'' Cal asked but then he held up a hand to stop Johnny from answering, not that he was going to.

''Don't bother cos I know I am. So come on son, what did you say?'' Cal was resigned to the fact that he was going to have to intervene, he didn't want to, he wanted them to sort it out themselves but Johnny wasn't co-operating.

''You're not allowed to hit kids in this country,'' Johnny argued provocatively and the expression on his dad's face told him in no uncertain terms that it was not a good idea.

''That isn't actually true, I'm not allowed to hit you with a belt or clout you around the head but as I've never done that and have no intention of ever doing that then we're all good aren't we? So come on, let's hear it,'' Cal cut to the chase after putting Johnny right about his rights as a father.

''Nuffink, I never said nuffink,'' Johnny reverted to belligerent in the face of his father's bullish stance and there was a silent standoff. Then salvation arrived in a most surprising way.

''Cal Lightman as I live and breathe, how are you love?'' Alison came from nowhere, literally nowhere and Johnny looked aghast as his best friend's mother hugged his dad, who returned it as if it were the most natural thing in the whole world.

''I'm good Ali, very good. Still the best looking girl in Deptford I see, '' Cal charmed her and Alison giggled like a teenager.

''And you're still a player Cal. You always knew how to pull a girl, even when you weren't supposed to. I look okay just okay but thank you for the compliment anyway,'' Alison spoke with a familiar and easy tone which made Johnny look at Jack in bafflement. He shrugged and then sniffed, wiping his eyes across his sleeve. His mother looked irritably at him.

''Jack, you deserved it so stop with your snivelling, I've had my fill of it. Johnny, do you have any idea how worried I've been? I woke up and you were gone, I've been worried sick,'' Alison snapped at the puzzled young boy who jumped at her vehemence.

''Sorry, I left a note,'' he smiled apologetically but Alison's face remained stony.

''You left a note, a soddin' note. Bloody hell Jono, always with the drama. You need to apologize, again!'' Cal joined in the tirade and Johnny glanced at Jack for some help.

''Don't look at him, he's as thoughtless as you are. Lied to me, right to my face and we don't do that do we Jack?'' Alison glared at her son who shook his head vigorously.

''No mum,'' he replied with a cringe and Cal had to hide a smile, Alison was still a force to be reckoned with and the passage of time had done little to soften her. Cal was glad, glad that her spirit remained intact, he knew that wouldn't have been easy if her life had turned out the way Cal suspected it had.

''In our house, liars get their legs slapped and lose their X Box into the bargain,'' Alison clarified and Jack looked mortified, he blushed in embarrassment but stayed silent.

''Oh,'' Johnny wondered if that rule applied only to those who lived there or did visitors suffer the same fate?

''You lie to Alison son?'' Cal read him just like that and Alison cast him a speculative glare.

''That depends dunnit, did you really ask your dad if you could stay over or were you spinning me a yarn? Is that the reason for your midnight flit?'' Alison asked and Johnny's face blazed.

'' No Alison, Johnny did not ask if he could stay with you, in fact we had no idea where he was,'' Cal dropped him straight in it with no conscience.

''What? Oh my god Cal, I am so sorry. I had no idea, really I didn't,'' Alison was beside herself with remorse, as if she was the one in the wrong.

''That's not true. I told you I was with Jack!'' Johnny piped up indignantly and he wished he hadn't when Alison and his dad glared at him.

''You looking to get your legs slapped as well son?'' Cal asked wryly, Johnny searched his face for the telltale signs that he was joking but they just weren't there. He shook his head quickly, just in case.

''No, that's what I thought. Go and sit over there with Jack. Give the grownups a few minutes peace,'' Cal waved them away towards some seats in the window. Both boys hurried away, grateful for the reprieve.

''Do you want a cuppa love?'' Cal sat down a little way from the children and Alison joined him.

''That would be nice Cal. I'm dead on me feet, Jack gave me the right run around before he told me where Johnny was,'' Alison sighed and sat back.

''Sorry love, boyzy can be a right little sod and coming back to London hasn't helped much,'' Cal gestured to the waitress who had just appeared and he ordered a pot of tea.

''That's not surprising Cal, this place doesn't hold many good memories for him. Sophie lost it especially in the last year. If the Social Services weren't so busy he would have been taken into care, she was a raving loony most of the time,'' Alison was blunt because that was the sort of woman she was. She wasn't the type for political correctness and Cal wondered with an amused smile how Foster would react to his old friend.

Cal nodded, he had guessed as much and Foster's words sounded in his mind, if things had stayed as they were, he wasn't sure Johnny would still be alive either.

Cal was thankful that National Security had been so vigilant, although he could sense the hand of destiny in the fact that Johnny had ended up in his office that fateful morning.

''Cal love, you called Harry?'' Alison referenced Cal's father and he stiffened.

''I know he's a bastard and all that but he's ill Cal, very ill. Perhaps you should call him? Just in case, you don't want any regrets do you?'' Alison gave a tight smile, she knew Cal from long ago, they shared a history, their fathers had been close friends. Much as her home had provided Johnny with sanctuary, her childhood home had done the same with Cal. Her father, Bill was the main reason Cal hadn't grown up believing that all men were drunken, violent thugs who took their bitterness out on their wives and children.

''You looked after him didn't you?'' Cal said suddenly and Alison looked embarrassed.

''Yes Cal, I did. When you left her, she was a mess. She pulled it together for a while and then one day she comes back from America and announces she's having a baby. She wouldn't say who the father was but I knew the minute I laid eyes on him. It was like you had finally come home. When it all went pear shaped, he reacted just like you did, all lost and frightened. I had to didn't I? Had to look after me little bruv's boy,'' Alison smiled and Cal laughed softly at a shared memory.

They had pretended when they were small that they were siblings, Cal wanted to be part of Alison's happy, warm family and Alison wanted to be his mother hen so it worked well for both of them.

''Sorry Ali, I should have got in touch. Once I left here, I didn't stop running for a long time,'' Cal was remorseful, he had forsaken this place and the memories it held without a backward glance but he had also forsaken some good people, people who cared for him.

''I waited Cal, I prayed that you would write or something, I would have told you straight off but I didn't get the chance,'' Alison said with considerable regret.

''Yeah I know,'' Cal gazed down into his tea; if only he had called just once then maybe he would have discovered his son much sooner. It was yet another thing to hold against his father and Cal experienced the familiar stomach flip of fear that he did whenever he thought about him.

''Callum Lightman, stop being a daft sod. You can't do anything about the past but you can live the future, don't waste any more time,'' Alison scolded him, just as she had when they were children. Cal met her eyes, she had always been on his wavelength, almost psychic in her perception and that was another thing time hadn't changed. Cal knew now that Alison was a natural, just like Torres but back then he had been spooked by her gift.

''Thanks Ali, it really is good to see you. How's Terry?'' Cal tried to keep the scorn from his voice but failed.

''Yeah well, you were right but I was a stupid, stubborn little cow wasn't I? Wouldn't listen however much you told me. Learned me lesson the hard way, Terry is in the nick where he belongs and I'm hoping that he stays there for the foreseeable,'' Alison shrugged, old news as far as she was concerned.

''Right, sorry,'' Cal didn't comment further but Alison caught his eye and they both laughed.

''Yeah I know, you're really sorry,'' Alison rolled her eyes.

''You remember that time we nicked your dad's car?'' Cal said it very quietly; aware their kids were only yards away. Alison hooted with laughter.

''Remember it? I can still feel the slap he gave me, thought he was bang out of order at the time but now I think he let me away lightly. Blimey, if one of my boys did that, I'd lose my mind,'' Alison was a breath of fresh air and from nowhere Cal was assaulted by memories and for once they were good ones.

''He didn't tell me dad, he gave me a clip round the ear and told me to not do anything so stupid again but he never told me dad,'' Cal remembered with perfect clarity his relief and gratitude when Bill saved him from his father's drunken wrath.

''He'd love to see you Cal. He's still at the house, wouldn't move when mum died even though it's too big for him. Wanted to hold onto her, '' Alison said and Cal smiled.

''Yeah, I'd like to see him and all,'' Cal agreed with no hesitation.

''Your mum died?'' Cal was saddened to hear that, Jackie had been another mainstay in his young life and Cal felt grief hit him. He hadn't seen her for twenty and some years but he mourned her passing as if it had been yesterday.

''Yes, five years ago,'' Jackie dropped her eyes.

''Sorry love, I am really sorry to hear that,'' Cal said as he realised how much he had lost by never returning to the place that, despite it's bad memories, had shaped him, the place he carried with him at all times.

''Thank you Cal, it was hard but now's it's not so bad,'' Alison shrugged.

''Now tell me what you've been up to for the last twenty years,'' Alison changed the subject and Cal frowned, where did he begin?

'What are they talking about?'' Jack whispered to Johnny who shrugged.

''Dunno but how do they know each other?'' Johnny didn't understand.

''Well your mum and my mum knew each other, maybe it was cos of your dad. Your mum wasn't exactly my mum's usual type of friend was she?'' Jack was a bright boy who went to a good school, and Johnny could see the sense in his suggestion.

''Yeah, I s'pose,'' Johnny fell back into his seat and looked guiltily at Jack.

''Soz Jack, didn't mean for you to catch it from yer mum cos of me,'' he said and his friend shrugged.

''Don't worry about it, didn't hurt,'' he said and then he looked up, catching Johnny's eye. They both laughed simultaneously.

''Yeah right,'' Johnny snorted and Jack shoved him.

''Don't know why you're so happy, you lied to her as well,'' Jack reminded him and Johnny pulled a rueful face.

''Yeah right, that's true I did,'' He glanced over as Alison rose and gave Cal a peck on the cheek.

''Come on Jackie, we need to get some shopping,'' Alison breezed over.

''Laters Johnny,'' Jack held out his knuckles and Johnny knocked them.

''Laters,'' Johnny looked doubtfully at Alison who laughed.

''You'll keep for now but we will be having words. Bye love,'' Alison ruffled his hair and they left.

Cal was standing waiting as Johnny trotted over to him.

''You decided what you're gonna tell Foster yet?'' he asked as he pushed the button for the elevator.

Johnny's stomach dropped, he'd forgotten that there was still another woman who was angry at him and he doubted she would be as forgiving as Alison.

XyXyXyXy

''Are you alright? Let me see you,'' Foster jumped on them as soon as they walked through the door.

Foster hugged Johnny tightly and then stepped back to survey him from head to toe.

''I'm fine Gill. I stayed at Jacks,'' Johnny started on the route to recompense.

''I told you before that I don't know who Jack is so that doesn't help,'' Foster snapped and Johnny glanced at Cal who was standing watching them speculatively.

''Dad does,'' Johnny said rather too smugly for Cal's liking, as if he had out manoeuvred him in some way.

''It turns out that Jack is the son of an old friend of mine but I didn't know until about fifteen minutes ago,'' Cal clarified with a hard stare at Johnny who went red.

''Right, so that's no help at all then is it? What do you have to say to me?'' Foster was on the war path and Johnny wriggled uncomfortably as she held him vice like by the arms.

''I will let you go when you explain to me what you think you were doing, disappearing like that,'' Foster wasn't for turning and Johnny sniffed miserably.

''You're hurting me,'' Johnny utilised guilt as it usually achieved his aim with Foster.

''No, I am not, what do you think you were doing?'' Foster was like a dog with a bone and Johnny realised this wasn't going to be easy. Foster was hurt and angry, more hurt and angry than Johnny had seen for a while. Even his dad rarely pissed Foster off this much.

''I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it, I was angry cos you said no so I just said it without thinking. I'm sorry Gill,'' Johnny dropped his head as he mumbled his apology.

Foster tutted and let him go with an exasperated sigh. She walked away and then back again, she folded her arms, her agitation increasing alarmingly.

''Johnny, every time I scold you or tell you no, is that the way you're going to react?'' Foster stopped pacing and looked directly at him. She knew she was moving too fast, every class or lecture or journal article told her that step relationships were fraught with obstacles, this being a classic one.

However, she ignored all the professional advice because theirs had been a condensed journey; she had experienced enough with this child in a short time to count as a lifetime.

''No, I promise I won't say it again,'' Johnny said firmly, raising his eyes to meet hers.

Foster laughed, it was a spontaneous and if she was honest, inappropriate laugh but she did it anyway. All the qualifications in the world counted for nothing when it was your life, your family.

''I doubt that but it will do for now,'' Foster glanced at Cal, she was aware there should be a consequence but as the step parent, it was not her place to discipline, however much she wanted to.

''I don't actually know what you're talking about,'' Cal understood the look but he was at a loss.

Foster pursed her lips, she sighed heavily and threw Johnny an annoyed glance.

''I'm waiting and your dad's waiting,'' she said and Johnny began to chew his lip, desperate not to tell Cal, he knew how protective he was of Foster especially now.

''Johnny,'' Foster was determined not to pander to him, she was softening, she could feel the familiar yearning to remove the unhappiness form his face but she had done that far too much in the past. She had to support Cal, not undermine him; it was time for her to earn her place as a mother.

There was one exception, after the gun incident and she channelled that strength.

Johnny relayed the conversation verbatim and Foster admired his fortitude, he didn't try to soften what he said, he just said it how it was.

Cal was silent as he weighed up how to react, it was a tricky situation.

''So that was well nasty wasn't it son?'' Cal gave Johnny his worst admonishing glare.

''Yeah it was, sorry Gill,'' Johnny said quickly, this was excruciating for him and he wanted it over as soon as possible.

''The best sorry is when you don't do the same thing again, you should think about that. The word is cheap; your actions are what really count. Give me your cell and DS then go take shower, '' Cal finally issued sentence.

Johnny nodded and scooted around Foster towards the bedroom door then he stopped.

He looked guiltily back at Foster who was standing stiffly, her arms wrapped around herself in a classic self comfort pose.

Johnny ran over and hugged her.

''I really am sorry mom,'' he broke away and grinned cheekily at Foster's astounded face then he was gone, the door slamming after him.

''That was a bit of turn up weren't it?'' Cal was as amazed as she was.

''Yes, yes it was,'' Foster smiled serenely, she felt so much better and at peace for the first time in a day or so. She wasn't sure if that was because Johnny was safely back with them or because of what he had just said but in the end she didn't really care.

''I wasn't being soft Gill, I've already smacked him once this morning so it didn't seem on to do it again,'' Cal explained.

'' You really need to stop doing that,'' Foster shook her head in despair; she was a psychologist and was aware she shouldn't be condoning such actions.

''You've done it yourself Foster, don't forget that. He just pushes all the wrong buttons doesn't he? I vote that we stop beating ourselves up about it and just get on with it. What do you think?'' Cal wasn't about to enter into an argument about this, it was old territory.

''Yes, you're probably right,'' Foster conceded then she turned to Cal, eyeing him suspiciously.

''So who is this old friend then?'' Her eyes glinted and Cal remembered that Johnny wasn't the only one with some explaining to do.

XyXyXyXy

This is getting harder to write so some more reviews would help to get my motivation up.

Not begging just asking, LOL.


	41. Chapter 41 An Important Point

Author's note

Hi, sorry about this but because of the technical problems on the site over the last two days, this story is not registering as updated.

Normally I wouldn't care but the last chapter contained some important information about Cal's past and if you don't read it, the next few chapters are going to become very confusing.

So if the last chapter you read concerned Cal and Johnny's talk down at the river, you've missed chapter 40 and should go back to it.

Thanks and sorry if you thought this was a new chapter and are annoyed it isn't.

Laters S


	42. Chapter 42 Stepping Back Into Childhood

So here I am again, I am bereft and in mourning although I expected it. I'm not sure what I am going to watch on TV now as all my favourite shows have been cancelled apart from Bones which has, much to my relief, improved recently.

I apologise as I believe the English disease is now afflicting American TV, reality television and talent shows are cheap, unintelligent crap for morons and I apologise for the fact that we have exported them to you. I just hope it doesn't destroy your TV the way it has ours although the signs are not good. Simon Cowell is the anti christ of television and music in my opinion.

What went wrong? Well, the start of season 3 lost it's way. Too much focus on mad, loony Cal and not enough family with good stories based on interesting science. When they returned to that, it was amazing again. It was too late although we will always have the end of season 3 to comfort us, those episodes went back to the best of LTM. RIP LTM, we will miss you!

Rant over, I had no intention of finishing this fic but as a tribute to the wonderful characters I have decided to complete my tale, not keen on unfinished business.

Please review because I really do need the encouragement as it is a struggle to keep going. I have become more a reader than a writer these days.

Hope the dialect is not too tricky but it is authentic.

XyXyXyXyXyXy

Cal stood outside the familiar Victorian house and memories overwhelmed him, he inhaled deeply, the sweetness of the lilacs framing the door arch filled him and he almost staggered with the intensity of those lost moments. He blinked as the image of a smiling woman beckoned him towards the threshold, in the distance he heard her offer of a cuppa as he walked towards the blue door which was dulled by age. He knew she was an illusion but she offered resolve as he took a deep breath before lifting the heavy brass door knocker.

The thud echoed down the hallway and Cal waited patiently as he listened to the slow movement of the now single occupant shuffling towards him.

''Hello boy,'' Bill, Alison's father, greeted him as if it had been a mere five minutes not twenty years since they had last met. Cal controlled his shock as he took in the shrunken elderly man who he remembered as a gentle man mountain with a booming voice, he searched the smiling face for that man. Bill's eyes twinkled and Cal nodded, physically he was diminished but his essence was still present despite the passage of time.

''Alright Bill,'' Cal was just as casual back and they embraced, naturally and unforced, because that's what family did.

''You want a beer?'' Bill led the way, reassuringly his voice filled the void just as it always had, Cal stepped hesitantly back into his childhood and he felt himself break out in nervous sweat. The hallway was unchanged; the original patterned tiles led the way into the small kitchen at the back of the house. Cal cringed as he recalled him and Ali painting them bright red one distant day ago, he could still feel the smack that Bill dispensed when their illicit decorating job had been discovered.

'' Yeah please, I'm parched,'' Cal nodded and smiled wryly as Bill opened what appeared to be the original small fridge that sat in exactly the same place it always had.

''Yes I know. Ali's always on at me to get one of those new flash ones but this works. If it ain't broke then why fix it? Waste of bleeding money,'' Bill poured a pale ale carefully into a glass and handed it to Cal.

''Cheers,'' Cal raised his drink and took a gulp; it hit the back of his throat and evoked yet more memories. Bill had given him his first beer and Cal blushed as he recalled how thrilled he'd been.

''You remember that day boy?'' Bill sat down and dipped his head towards the chair opposite. Cal sat down.

''Like yesterday Bill. You told me that no beer would ever taste as horrible as me first one and you were right,'' Cal was embarrassed to hear his voice crack as emotion got the better of him. Bill laughed, a low guttural chuckle that Cal had heard many times before. This man had laughed a lot; it was what had attracted his young self to him. A grown man who laughed had been a novelty, at that moment Cal could not recall his own father laughing, not even once.

''It was the best of times or least that's how it feels now. Wasn't that great boy, it was a tough life just feels like the sun shone all the time. Didn't really, not that I have to tell you that,'' Bill drank with relish and he winked at Cal over the rim of the rapidly emptying glass.

''Don't you go grassing me up to Ali, she's always on at me to give up me beer. I'm an old man, what difference does a beer now and again make?'' Bill licked his lips and Cal could see his point.

''I'm sorry I wasn't here when Jackie went Bill,'' Cal said awkwardly and Bill shrugged.

''Don't matter now boy. Should have come back to visit though, she loved you like one of her. Near on broke her heart when you left but she understood. That old git was enough to drive the best of us away. There was a right to do after what he done. Jackie wanted his guts for garters I can tell you. Had to order her to stay away from him and my old girl wasn't one for orders but a man has to put his foot down from time to time especially when it comes to yer family,'' Bill's voice calmed Cal, it was like a lullaby, the rhythm soothing him.

''So Boy, you gonna do the decent thing and visit yer old man?'' Bill got to the point as he always had.

''I know he don't deserve it but still might be for the best, for you not him,'' Bill softened his approach.

''Dunno,'' Cal took a moment as he wondered how to phase his question.

''Aaaaah,'' Bill nodded, Cal looked up at him in surprise, Bill chuckled.

''It was obvious boy, the whole world clocked it. Yer old man included, explains a lot dunnit?'' Bill confirmed that Cal's mother had been telling the truth after all.

''She was a beautiful woman Cal, much too good for yer dad. Don't think badly of her, times were different then. She did her best, trying to do what she could for you. In those days any dad was better than no dad at all,'' Bill moved to protect his old friend and Cal was glad, his memories of his mother had been blighted by her actions but if this man still considered her a decent woman, then that offered comfort to Cal.

''Do you know who he was?'' Cal watched and he flinched as he saw the deceit move across Bill's face.

''No boy, she played her cards close to her chest, yer mum did,'' Bill looked away and Cal was speechless, it was one of those moments he hated, a moment when he questioned whether his skill was a curse or blessing.

''That's a lie Bill. Why yer lying? Who does it hurt now?'' Cal asked softly and Bill's face flashed with surprise and then fear, it was clear that this truth still had the capacity to hurt. Cal was mystified but he saw determination etched on Bill's face.

''Ali told me yer found yer boy. Cheeky little nipper, used to come see me with Jackie. Drank all me pop, talked me deaf, just like another boy I once knew,'' Bill's face lit up with affection and Cal knew he wouldn't get anywhere here. Bill was protecting him and Cal wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or pleased that someone cared enough to do that.

''Yeah, he's a little diamond,'' Cal agreed. Bill chuckled and raised his eyebrows.

''Yeah right, not all the time but he's mine so what do yer expect?'' Cal laughed as well.

''You were a right little sod in yer day. You remember when you and Ali nicked me car. Jackie went mad, screamed the 'ouse down she did. Wanted to throttle the pair of you but I told her, it's what kids do Jacks but she wouldn't 'ave it. Wanted to string yer both up,'' Bill laughed and Cal sat back, happy to pass a few hours reminiscing with this very unique man who still meant the world to him.

Cal decided that he would look elsewhere for answers; it was time to use his well equipped office to trace his natural father.

XyXyXyXYxY

''Why couldn't I go with dad? I like pops,'' Johnny was whining as he dragged along behind Foster and Emily, they were in 'The Tate Modern' and both women were enjoying the art despite their young companion's complaining.

''Right so now you miss him? You ran away remember? Jeez Jono, make your mind up,'' Emily teased her little brother who blushed.

''Can we go on the Eye now?'' Johnny made the request yet again as he ignored his sister's mockery.

''Just a little while longer sweetie. Emily and I aren't done,'' Foster was firm and Johnny pulled a face but he stopped complaining.

Half an hour later they walked towards the London Eye and Foster realised with relief that Johnny had not asked for his father once since the art gallery, something he had done nonstop for the previous hours. Foster smiled to herself, Cal was never going to believe it when she told him but it was true, the old adage distance makes the heart grow fonder sprang to her mind. Foster knew Cal would react nonchalantly but secretly he would be thrilled.

''Can we go and see that?'' Johnny stopped in front of an advertisement.

''You want to go to the theatre?'' Emily asked incredulously.

''Yeah, I've read the book. It's really good, dead sad but kinda happy as well'' Johnny nodded and Foster was pleased, this was progress.

''War Horse? What's it about?'' She asked with interest and Johnny sniggered.

''Duuuuh, a horse in the war. Clue's in the title,'' he smirked and Emily shoved him.

''Don't talk to Gill like that. You are such a smart ass, I don't know why Gill or dad put up with it,'' she scolded.

''Shut up Em, it's none of your business,'' Johnny shoved her back.

''Hey no fighting,'' Foster put a stop to it without hesitation. She noticed with considerable satisfaction that neither child argued with her, they just did as they were told. Yet more progress!

''So can we?'' Johnny turned his attention back to his request.

''Yes, I'll call the hotel, see if we can get some tickets for tonight,'' Foster agreed readily, if Johnny was showing interest in culture then she would encourage it at every opportunity.

''Thanks mom,'' Johnny grinned as he slipped his hand into hers.

XyXyXyXyXyXy

Cal left Bill's house just as dusk was falling, there was a chill in the air and he flicked up his collar.

Foster had called to tell him they were going to the theatre and if Cal hurried, there was time for dinner before the show started.

Cal dropped his head and began to walk rapidly towards the railway station; public transport was the only way to travel around London as the traffic was murder.

He flipped open his phone to call the office, the sooner they got started the better. Cal had made the decision and he wanted to get the wheels rolling before he changed his mind.

He didn't hear them until they were almost upon him and he experienced a brief moment of fear before a sharp pain exploded across the back of his head.

Blackness enveloped him as he fell towards the hard concrete but he heard the words before unconsciousness claimed him.

''Fuck off back to where you come from. There is no one and nothing here for you anymore,'' Cal's brain registered that it was a voice he knew before it surrendered to oblivion.


	43. Chapter 43 Bloody Fathers!

Another update! Amazing isn't it? Have to strike whilst the iron's hot haven't you? Thanks for the reviews.

Lots of clues here but not much straight information, you'll have to pick the hints out. Chels suggested I might write some more Bones, it's a possibility but like I said lacking inspiration at the mo. We'll see, a great idea might come from the blue although it feels like my Unicorn series is finished. That feeling was supported by numbers, I'm afraid. If you have any good ideas, PM me.

The numbers aren't great on this one but that's to be expected, this one is a matter of pride.

Onwards and upwards.

XyXyXyXyXyXyXyXy

Foster looked anxiously through the constant stream of people passing her, where was he? She glanced at her watch and frowned, there was only ten minutes until curtain up. She had accepted that Cal might not make dinner but he should have been here by now. Foster made a decision and turned decisively to Emily.

''Take Johnny in, there's no point all of us missing it. I'll wait for your father, he'll be here soon,'' Foster handed over the tickets to Emily, who shook her head. Johnny was loitering nearby, his hands deep in his pockets and an unhappy expression on his face.

''No Gill, we'll all wait together,'' she refused to leave Foster's side which made the older woman smile.

''Em, they won't let us in once it's started not until the break. Its fine, I'm perfectly safe here,'' Foster sought to reassure her step daughter.

''Where's dad?'' Johnny pulled on Foster's hand who sighed.

''He'll be here soon. Em's going to take you in, we'll join you when he gets here,'' Foster couldn't control the unsettling feeling that something was amiss but she dismissed it as paranoia.

''I think we should all wait like Em said,'' Johnny didn't comply which surprised Foster; he was twelve so was usually quite selfish about such things. Then she saw the anxiety in his eyes, what she had interpreted as sulkiness about the wait was in fact fretting over his missing father.

''Honey, your dad's fine. He's just running late,'' Foster gave a bright smile and Johnny pulled a doubting face.

''You called him ages ago, it doesn't take this long,'' Johnny had insider knowledge, something Foster overlooked. She looked helplessly at Emily who nodded. She took her brother's hand, who surprisingly seemed happy to let her.

''Come on brat, we don't want to miss it do we?'' Emily wasn't keen on leaving Foster but she did it for the greater good, recognising it was the best course of action.

''Okay,'' Johnny said doubtfully as he allowed Emily to lead him inside, he glanced back at Foster, his face pinched and drawn. Foster tried to smile widely but she knew it appeared false.

Foster was relieved when the children were gone, now she could openly worry, she pulled out her phone. With a start she realised she had nobody to call, those who would normally help were thousands of miles away. Foster tried not to panic but then she remembered Alison. Cal had passed over her number as a precaution just before he left.

Foster didn't hesitate because the sense of foreboding had developed into certainty in the last five minutes. Foster knew Cal was in trouble, she just knew it.

XyXyXyXyXyXy

Alison stood looking up at the elegant Georgian building that was so integral to many of her fondest childhood memories. She knew that she would be welcomed initially but when she said what she had come to say, the welcome might turn distinctly chilly.

She looked across the heath where several fluorescent kites swooped and swirled around each other. In the distance she heard a child laugh and when she glanced she saw the origin of that joyful sound, a boy of six or seven huddled in the circle of his father's arms as he showed him how to make his new toy dance. She registered the look of adoration that the boy threw his father as they shared a few precious minutes together and her resolve deepened. Every little boy deserved to look that way, even one in his late thirties.

As she waited for someone to answer the door, her legs began to shake and her heart almost pounded out of her chest.

''Can I help you?'' An attractive, slim teenage girl was standing staring curiously at her. Her eyes a vibrant green that Alison knew very well.

''Is your father at home?'' Alison asked politely, she cringed at the harsh edge to her voice, she felt so out of place standing at the top on the wide stone steps that led to this door. This was not her world and her accent emphasised that fact.

''You should call my dad's surgery for an appointment, he doesn't see patients at home,'' The girl pulled the door defensively to as she made an understandable error. She knew, as Alison did, that she didn't belong there.

''I'm not a patient. I'm an old friend. Tell him it's Ali, Alison Reilly,'' Alison rankled, who said she didn't belong here? She'd belonged here thirty some years ago, the world hadn't changed that much.

'' Oh right. Hold on, I'll get him,'' the girl said abruptly before closing the door in Alison's face.

She almost ran, but she knew this was a once only deal, if she didn't do it now then it would never be done. No, the truth had been hidden for too long, it was time for honesty to come out of hibernation.

The door was flung back and the crash made Alison jump, before she even registered the man standing there, she found herself lifted from her feet in a huge bear hug that took her breath away.

''Ali, you look bloody great. Jesus how long has it been?'' the boyish man ran his hand through untidy, thick brown hair and grinned at her as he released her.

She laughed, she couldn't help it, Will always made her laugh, what with his posh voice and his exuberance that infected all around him. Oh and that hair, the hair that he agonised over in his youth, bemoaning the fact that whatever he did, it always flopped down over his eyes. Even soap wouldn't hold in the spikes, he'd used an entire bar of Imperial Leather on one Clash gig but still it didn't hold. Cal had always sported a head of sharp spikes that Will coveted constantly.

''A long time Will, a very long time,'' Alison acknowledged and Will's eyes shone with regret. He had been her first love and she had broken his heart over Terry, she had been so young and stupid. Cal had tried to tell her but she just hadn't listened.

''Come in, come and have a drink. Malibu and Pineapple isn't it?'' Will teased and Alison groaned.

''I will have a glass of wine if you have one,'' she said and Will nodded.

''Thank god cos I don't think we have any pineapple juice,'' he said as he stepped back.

''But you have Malibu?'' Alison quipped back as she walked into the hall.

''Yeah, course we have,'' Will closed the door.

''Will, no one has Malibu these day,'' Alison waited for him to lead the way through the vaulted hall; she looked up the steep stairs and blushed. They used to toboggan down them on the door mat and Alison could still hear the screams of delight followed by the cries of pain as bone hit painted tile.

''Good times,'' Will breathed next to her and she looked up in surprise.

''Didn't ever forget you Ali, you were the one that got away, my missing soul mate or at least that was what my ex wife said during a particularly nasty argument,'' Will smiled lopsidedly and Alison felt a jolt, a jolt she hadn't felt in years.

''Oh Will, I am so sorry,'' she touched his arm and then pulled it away quickly as what felt like an electric shock buzzed through her hand.

Will shrugged and then his eyes clouded.

''You're here about Cal aren't you?'' he said seriously and she nodded.

''Do you know where he is?'' she asked in a whisper and Will sighed heavily.

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Cal opened his eyes slowly and as he registered that he still couldn't see, he began to struggle. The tight rope bit into his wrists as he kicked his free legs, the chair he was tied to jumping with each kick.

''Sit fucking still!'' Cal yelled in pain as a heavy kick on his shin bone followed the order. He breathed heavily, the sack over his head moving in and out with each breath.

''Terry? Is that you Terry?'' Cal recognised him instantly; his brain hadn't been idle whilst it had been cloaked in blackness.

''Shit, I told you he'd know me. For fuck's sake,'' Terry wasn't pleased about their reunion but there again neither was Cal.

''I though you was in nick?'' Cal asked and he got a sharp slap across the back of his head for his trouble.

''Mind yer business, you seen my old lady?'' Terry couldn't help asking and Cal registered the longing in his voice.

''Shut up Tell, does this look like marriage guidance?'' Another voice was laced with impatience and Cal knew this was the dangerous one.

''What do you tossers want? I ain't got much cash but take it if you're that desperate,'' Cal made his disgust clear.

''Oi, bit of respect Cal,'' the second voice spoke again and then Cal recognised him as well.

''Right Bri, so this is nice innit? A cosy reunion even?'' Cal said sarcastically.

''He's clocked you and all,'' Terry chuckled.

''Yeah well as he ain't gonna see the light of day again, it don't matter does it?'' Brian said and Cal heard Terry gasp.

''I didn't sign up for that,'' he protested.

''Grow a pair Tel, you always were a prat,'' Brain barked scornfully.

''I thought we just wanted to know where the cash was, I just want me bleedin' money. I wasn't looking to top no one,'' Terry continued to argue and Cal listened closely, what bloody money? He didn't know anything about any money!

It began to occur to Cal that he wasn't in a great position but at least his assailants weren't united, that gave him some scope.

''When you ladies have finished, do you wanna let me in on why I'm tied to a bloody chair?'' Cal engaged them.

''Like you don't know?'' Brian walked behind him and Cal braced himself. He wasn't disappointed when his head was yanked back and what was clearly the cold edge of a knife was placed against his throat.

''The money from the job Cal, the money yer old man gave you for safe keeping,'' Terry was the one who gave up the bad news.

Cal closed his eyes in despair. His bloody father! He should have known this would be his bloody father's fault!

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Please review, I need all the help I can get to keep going!


	44. Chapter 44 An Unlikely Story

I am so sorry, I have to admit I had given up on this for obvious reasons and my RL has been rather difficult recently. However, I read it the other day and it deserves a proper ending ( which the show did as well but I'm nicer than Fox)

Thanks for the reviews and if you're still reading, a big thank you.

Enjoy, let me know what you think. I will need reviews to keep me going.

Laters XX

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''Mate, use your brain. My bloody father wouldn't piss on me if I was on fire, plus I haven't seen him for twenty years. Why would he give me yer bloody money?'' Cal remained calm despite the fact he was ever so slightly stressed.

''He's right Bri, he wouldn't,'' Terry rather unexpectedly helped Cal out.

''Jesus Christ, this is bollocks this is,'' Brian released Cal's head and by the sound of it, punched a nearby wall.

''So, you mugs gonna untie me so we can sort this or what?'' Cal felt the power shift back to him.

''Yeah go on,'' Brian snapped and Terry pulled the sack off. Cal had to wait for his eyes to focus and he grinned at the two men facing him.

''You pair are crap at this you know that,'' Cal rubbed his wrists as the failed villains skulked before him.

''What are we gonna do?'' Terry turned to Brian who looked more than a little clueless.

''I'll tell you what yer gonna do, yer gonna let me go and see me old man so I can find out where yer money is,'' Cal stood up. His old friends looked uncertainly at each other.

''You don't have much choice as it goes do yer?'' Cal didn't want to point out that as they didn't have the stomach for cold blooded killing, they had put themselves in an impossible position.

''Why would you do that then?'' Brian asked suspiciously.

''Get you pair of pillocks off me back won't it?'' Cal shrugged and Terry smiled.

''Soz Cal, it's just business, nuffink personal,'' Terry said and Cal almost laughed, these two were a right piece of work.

''How do we know you'll do it?'' Brian was more wary.

''Cos to be honest I'd like to stitch the old git up if I have the chance, some pay back is overdue'' Cal sighted revenge on the horizon.

''Makes sense Bri,'' Terry understood that sentiment very well.

''Unless you want me to fuck off back where I came from that is,'' Cal laughed and Terry looked embarrassed.

''That was him, thinks you're trying to shack up with his old lady. I told him that you were only interested in classy totty these days but he's lost the plot about her. Won't let him see the kids will she?'' Brian pointed at his co conspirator. Cal thought Alison was doing the absolutely right thing but decided it was probably best not to say that.

''Saw you with Ali didn't I? What's that all about?'' Terry narrowed his eyes and Cal rolled his.

''Our boys are mates you pratt,'' Cal explained and Terry looked baffled.

''You don't have a boy,'' he said and Cal shook his head.

''I see you've done yer research lads. Yeah I do, he's your Jack's age,'' Cal glanced at his watch, Foster would be going out of her mind.

''Oh, that's Soph's kid innit?'' Terry wasn't quick on the uptake and Cal laughed. He was a little unsettled that they had obviously been watching him, he would have to keep his nearest and dearest very close for the rest of the trip, these two were idiots but that didn't mean they weren't dangerous, the exact opposite really.

''Oh, right,'' Terry thought he understood but Cal was disinclined to explain it further to him, he had had enough of his old partners in crime and wanted to get out of there as soon as.

''We know where you're staying,'' Brian issued a threat and Cal held himself in check, anger flaring as Brian threatened his family.

''Yeah, I know that. Give me a few days and then contact me,'' Cal adjusted his jacket and took a chance.

He upped and strolled out of there, waiting for them to stop him but they didn't. Cal looked around getting his bearings as he tried very hard not to laugh at what hopeless villains his old mates were, no wonder they never spent more than six months out of prison at a time. As Cal walked towards the nearest bus stop, it occurred to him that he could have so easily ended up like them. His intelligence had saved him and Cal realised that his father must have been a bright man as well, science proved that brains were only partly nurture, there was an inherited factor as well. His mum had been street wise but not academic not by any stretch of the imagination.

Then he stopped dead, he recalled a very intelligent man in his early life, a man who befriended and supported his mother.

Cal shook his head, it was impossible, no way, it couldn't be. He put it out of his head, he had more pressing matters on his mind. Foster was going to kill him for worrying her like this especially when he didn't have a good explanation, there was no way on earth he was telling her the truth. Cal was going to protect her from this if it was the last thing he did.

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Foster was standing waiting outside the theatre when Cal appeared; he was nursing a headache and a credible story.

''Cal, where have you been?'' Foster's eyes flashed and Cal held his hands up in mock surrender.

''I'm sorry, I was mugged,'' he said and he felt a twinge of guilt as her anger turned to concern in a split second.

''Are you okay? Your head, let me see,'' Foster saw the blood immediately and she pulled his head down to look.

''It's nothing, I reported it. Just some kids, they took my cell,'' he was apologetic; truth was he had no idea where his phone was. It must have been lost in the scuffle.

''It doesn't look too bad, did you tell the office?'' Foster was all efficiency again and she was dialling before he could reply.

''You will need to cancel Lightman's cell, it's been reported stolen,'' Foster's order to the office made Cal cringe, he would actually have to do that now.

''Where are the kids?'' Cal realised they were two short and he suppressed a spark of panic.

''I sent them to watch the show, uuuum, I have to make another call,'' Foster looked embarrassed.

''Who do you need to call? Shouldn't we go in?'' Cal was concerned the kids were alone, he wasn't letting any of his family out of his sight from now on if he could help it.

''I'm sorry, I panicked. I thought something had happened to you so I called Alison,'' Foster blushed and Cal nodded in approval, he put his arm around her and kissed her head.

''I'm glad you did, that's why I gave you her number. Just send her a text, she'll understand,'' Cal could see the interval had started so he was anxious to get in to check on his children.

''Okay, if you're sure that isn't rude,'' Foster fumbled with her phone whilst Cal fretted impatiently beside her, luckily she didn't notice his agitation or she would have been suspicious.

''I'm done,'' Foster said, pocketing her cell. They had walked up exactly three steps when Emily came flying out of the theatre door.

''Dad, you're okay, we were worried,'' Emily embraced him as if she hadn't seen him for a month and Cal felt guilty, plainly he had caused them a lot of concern, not that he had done it deliberately.

''Where's Jono?'' Emily looked around and Foster froze.

''He's with you,'' she said helplessly, not again, please not again.

''He went to the bathroom half an hour ago. I thought he went to wait with you,'' Emily wailed, she should have guessed Johnny would try and play the hero.

''He's been pining after you all day Cal, he was very upset when you were late,'' Foster had no idea she was already preparing a defence on perpetrator's behalf. It was that over active maternal instinct again.

''Well touching as that is, it's not much comfort. Little sod just can't ever do as he's told,'' Cal knew he would have to make that point very firmly when they found his troublesome son, however good his intentions, disappearing was far from helpful in the circumstances.

''We'll look, he'll be inside somewhere,'' Cal said calmly even though he knew it was unlikely.

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Johnny walked down the street with Jack who, rather surprisingly, was taking him to see his dad, Jack was sure that he would know where Cal was. The way Jack told it, his dad was a cross between Michael Corleone and Reggie Kray, apparently he ran the local manor. Johnny didn't remember him that way but he didn't have any other options.

''So your mum doesn't know you see your dad is that right?'' Johnny was awe struck at Jack's trust in him but slightly fearful of Alison's reaction if she ever found out.

''Nah, she won't let him cos he's been in the nick but he's alright. Gives me money and plays footie with me, I like him. I want a dad,'' Jack admittedly shyly and Johnny nodded. He understood how that felt; he would do anything to have his dad back right now.

''He lives here,'' Jack stopped outside a shabby rundown block of flats and Johnny looked doubtfully at him, didn't look much like the abode of respected villain to him. Shouldn't he live in a mansion or something?

''I dunno Jack,'' Johnny stepped away, a sixth sense telling him that they were in danger.

''You're not chicken are you?'' Jack teased him and Johnny blushed.

''No, it's just...'' Johnny trailed off, not wanting to look stupid.

''Come on, he'll know where yer dad is, he knows everything,'' Jack was so sure so Johnny went into the dark with him, against his better judgement.

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When Alison opened the door, she looked furious and Cal recoiled, she huffed and looked embarrassed.

''Sorry, I thought it was the boys. Come in,'' Alison stepped back and they all trudged in.

''Gillian, this is Ali,'' Cal made the introductions, he had hoped to do that under better circumstances but it was not to be.

''It's lovely to meet you, I am so sorry about this. Jack knows better, I don't know what's got into him,'' Alison rushed out apologies but Foster felt they were the ones who should be apologising.

''They are always in strife when they're together those two mum. You know that, '' A tall handsome boy appeared behind Alison and Emily instantly took notice.

''I know Frankie but still,'' Alison ushered them towards the cosy living room, Cal forgot how small English houses were, in fact he'd forgotten how crowded Britain was full stop.

It was a nice home though, well furnished and ordered, Alison had done well by her boys and Cal was proud of her.

''I'm Frankie,'' the dark curly haired boy introduced himself to Emily, flashing even white teeth at her. Emily thought the British were supposed to have bad teeth; this boy didn't live up to the stereo type at all.

''Emily, Em,'' she mumbled, Cal shot her a curious glance which she ignored.

''Hello Em, I'm going out to look for my pain in the arse little bro but maybe you and me could hang out later? If that's alright,'' Frankie looked at Cal who wanted to say no but knew he couldn't, the boy was nothing but polite and he was Alison's son after all.

''I'd like that,'' Emily felt butterflies forming, he was very attractive and she felt her face warming.

''Great, I'll call mum when I've found them,'' Frankie was about to leave when he stopped.

''Do you want to come? I'll look after her, I'm just looking around the market. They like to hang about there or at least they used to '' Frankie again looked at Cal.

''Ali?'' Cal looked at his old friend who nodded.

''She'll be fine with Frankie,'' Alison thought it would do the teenage girl some good to get some air plus it would give Alison a chance to talk to Cal about her visit to their old friend.

''Go on then but be careful and keep your cell on,'' Cal knew his resolution to keep the kids nearby was already broken but he didn't know how to say no without offending Alison and Emily could do with some space. Cal thought the company of a good looking but trustworthy boy was just what she needed to help her start to get over Bailey.

The kids left and Alison made some tea, it was a crisis so tea was required.

''You were mugged?'' Alison asked doubtfully and Cal knew she didn't believe his story not for a second, Cal Lightman mugged by some kids, pull the other one!

''Yeah, happens dunnit,'' Cal replied nonchalantly, avoiding meeting her eye.

''Does it?'' Alison's voice was challenging and Cal looked sharply at her, she obviously understood because she dropped it.

'' All of Frankie's mates are looking and so is Steve, they'll find them,'' Alison mentioned her older brother, someone else for Cal to catch up with. He'd forgotten there was so many people he'd left behind, people he'd loved and yet he had done it without a thought, something else to blame his father for.

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''Are you in school?'' Emily asked, it had been a while since she had had a normal conversation with someone her own age and she felt uncomfortable, not sure what to say.

''I go to college, doing my A Levels, want to do engineering at Uni, hoping to go to Imperial,'' Frankie smiled; he was very charming and easy going plus very intelligent by the sound of it.

''Oi, where the bloody hell have you been? Mum's worried sick,'' Frankie shouted across the street and Emily was relieved to see her baby brother standing with another boy just across from them.

''Come on before they run off,'' Frankie grabbed her hand and pulled her over the road.

''You little shit, Mum's really wound up,'' Frankie wasted no time getting hold of his terrified looking brother.

''Piss off Frankie, let go of me,'' the younger boy struggled but Frankie just held him at arm's length so he could struggle in peace. Emily suppressed a laugh as Jack dangled comically at the end of his brother's arm.

They didn't look anything alike but there again her own brother didn't resemble her much.

''I got Gill's text message. Dad's okay?'' Johnny mumbled as he shuffled away from Emily.

''Yes, he is. Jono, that was dumb, you have got to start thinking. You run off all the time, it's getting stupid,'' Emily scolded him and Johnny smiled hopefully at her, he made his best puppy dog eyes but the effect was lost on his angry sister.

''Don't do that, dad is mad as hell and I can't save you,'' Emily huffed.

''Let's go,'' Frankie began to drag Jack towards home but then he stopped, he held his hand out to her and Emily took it with a shy smile.

Johnny smirked but decided not to comment, he was in enough trouble as it was.


End file.
